The One about all the Quirks.

My heart sank when i read col's blog, and couldn't find "desmond".. haha, i totally skimmed thru the first 3 names cos they were han yu pin ying names.. for a moment eternity stood still. (HAHA) anyways, i was thinkin it can't be. Shld have me one.. yea the ego thing, i know. HAHA..

Anyways, my name's spelt ng wei (KWA)ng.. Desmond (Shane) Ng Wei Kwang. haha, inside joke. Sort of inside la. K. I'm getting abit un-funny. So let's get on with the programme.

As the Weird P, of the P3, I have alot of weird-ness in me, naturally. That's why i'm called the weird P. K. Haha, not really true, since john's the Muscular P.. and well.. erm.. not much erm.. k. erm. you know la. HAHAHA. And joel's the Cool P, but he's.. well.. erm. not very erm.. coo...... WOW! Coo Coo Clock!! haha.. K, enough talk. Here goes!

"Here's the game. Introduce 10 quirks or idiosyncrasies of yours on your blog, following which you are free to pick five more people to do the same thing."

1 I can't do public speaking. Honestly, i'll keep erm and er here and there. Good eg wld be when i tried to ask some guest a qns at assembly and totally embarressed myself. So much for wanting to be a pastor next time.

2 I always fill my bottle before i sleep, altho i dun wake up to drink. I drink only before and after sleep. And i nv bring the bottle out of the house.

3 I'm highly influenced by people's faces when i hear a new song, or hear a long-not-sung song. So i have many songs with many faces attached to them. they are so many i feel very irritated sometimes, cos they come to mind when i try to praise God. Haha, and that's why i try not to EVER listen to my keating songs in public.

4 I've got sweaty palms.... and feet.

5 I usually clear my drawers and take out everything in my room, and pack them when i'm upset/angry, altho i haven't done that in many months. Learning to handle anger and dissapointm in another way? Hope its a better way. haha

6 i jump about or have violent reactions when i suspect i see a cockroach or any other insect. In public i try my best to suppress the violent spasms.

7 Haha, for this col says usually ppl have neat work and messy rooms and vice versa. Well, my room's neat. No kidding. I can only stand entire mess, not a partial mess. So my room is entirely neat. At least i tink. But i TINK my work is neat too. Haha, i mean, i dun have the best handwriting but i dun tink its messy. Maybe messy chic? HAHA.

8 i have an ingrown toe nail which i have to personally cut and remove every once in awhile. infact i've gotta remove one in the next few days. (its like, use scissors and tweezers to cut and extract)

9 I love cartoons too! I was just thinking yest that i'll love cartoons till forever. Justice League, Batman (naturally), X-men Evo.. I love those american comedies shown on ch 5 7pm.. SOME. hilarious.. i can sit there laughin myself silly..

10 I love the 1930s - 40s. Its so.. haha.. there's a word to describe.. The black and white tvs, the cute microphone. The beautiful women and their dresses and the the men's dressing. The big band music.. wow! The nightclubs where ppl sing, (with the funny microphone!) (N/B: that's another of my dream job.. to be singing at some cafe with a small band.. and those soothing lights and atmosphere.. lazy evening kinda thing!)

"Pick five more people to do tis"

This is really unfair col, you took my list. haha..

1 chua, erm. colleen! HAHA, do it again!

k no. joking. haha

1.qh

2 nat k

3 angel

4 richardson

5 joash

MORE MORE MORE!

1. ARE YOU OVER 18?
Sweet 18.

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
A picture of my wallpaper.. haha, of the wall in my room.

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
No, i was dying after the mock exam.

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THISMORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
What, its 9.30. I set the alarm at 7.45

5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON UR BED?
Pillows, blankets. DUH.

6. HAVE YOU TRIED TO SKIP A MEAL?
I skip meals only if i have to.. why wld i want to try doing a silly thing like that?! HAHA..

8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE ?
I just am. You just are.

9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
I dunno leh. I wld think no.. but i know i walk faster and i pray sometimes when i come back real late at night..

10. FAVORITE HANGOUT?
CHURCH. Seriously. I destress there.. i mean, even tho i still meet some pp who make me stress.. but.. Church is just a beautiful place. KUDOS VFC, that building truly embodies not just a place but a family, a feeling of warmth, and calm.

11. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
Sun, Water, Oxygen.

12. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 1THOUSAND DOLLARS?
Hmmm. I'll pay tithes, HAHA, seriously, cos when you pay tithes God mulitiplies wadeva is left in ways you can never imagine.. AND i'll get to save the 900 remaining cos God has blessed. Then, i'll....... i'll get a....... you know wad. 1000 is too little.

13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPY?
the sound of the tv playing. I go to sleep with the tv on timer.. so it offs on its own.

14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
OH MAN, where do i begin??? Haha, insects tops its probably.. but still have LOTS LOTS LOTS more.

15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
Both, sometimes i give sometimes i take. Balance is good.

16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Cream, General, Stone, GS - general stone, RED EYE MONSTER (by some mean neighbours when i was young. they moved. I can't even rmb them. just that name.) Alot la.. haha many defunct, THANK GOD.

17. WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE NAME?
Shane. Its mine too.. Desmond Shane Ng Wei Kwang. Bet many of you don't know that.


K. I wish. HAHHAHA.. no middle name la! Sighs.. i have alot of potential names to name my son.. IF I GET MARRIED, seeing as i'm having commitment issues now.

18. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
=( i can't rmb. so long ago!! erm. OH, Charlie and the Choc fac. With col and esther.. to bluff esther out of her house on her bday.

19. IF YOU WERE INVISIBLE FOR A DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Find a way to keep the power.. and use it ONLY when i want.. So when i dun wan i can be visible, and when i want i can be invisible.

20. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULDHAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD/DRINK FORTHE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Mee Hoon Kuey. And water. Actually, i dun like the idea of being stuck on an island alone, with the same drink and food for the rest of my life. I'll get off it then.

21. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
I really can't recall.. I like the old heinekien ones, the cuando, and the jennifer aniston one.

22. IF YOU'LL DIE TOMORROW, WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Say the sinners prayer and then stay alone.. and stay put so i won't sin anymore. HAHA.. k. spend time with the ppl i love..

23. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
Probably money, cos you'll really need it to renovate your house and in the mean time find a new place to rent.

24. YOUR EYE COLOR?
Dark Brown.. Actually its blue. Na, RED. Serious. RED-EYED monster.

25. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS BRING?
Keys, wallet, handphone.

26. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
A pastor.. Still do. I had 2nd options thruout the years.. but those changed. Chef, Sunday Sch Teacher (NO THANK YOU NOW!).. haha, recently i wanted, want to be a fireman, haha, a nurse. Paramedic la.. or a construction worker..

27. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 7 AM?
think of how to explain my absence from sch if i skip.. but mostly rush to go.

28. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET?
Duno, i actually can't rmb. Oh, its stripped. Autumn colours.

29. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET?
Hmm. There's this person i really miss right now.. sighs.

30. HOW'S LIFE TODAY?
It was pretty ok till qns 29. HAHA, nah.. its ok. I failed mock exam.

The One about the Eternal..

Its surprising to know that the last episode of Lost, was a recap, and the narrator kept introducing new scenes, with "What if..." Am I psychic, since I wrote a poem on "what if"s? Nah, just clairvoyant. Haha, k. kidding.. well, its just nice to know the world wonders with you, when you are erm.. wondering. (In case you are wondering about that sentence, be assured that the world wonders with you.. even now.)

I was thinking about eternity today.. My cousin got married today, and i was thinking about my own, God-willing, and I-willing, future marriage. And yes, i know i've blogged about my dream wedding before.. About cowboys and horses, and all white weddings. But I guess i'm in the commitment issues period?? I dunno, just the thought of sharing a bedroom for LIFE is scary. Haha, but that's not the point here today.

Well, the point is, eternity is beyond man. Eternity scares man; something that is limitless makes us uncomfortable. Like Elley (Jodie Foster) in Contact, the uncertainty of what to expect is so scary, one can only close their eyes, and 'delude' themselves into believing, "(they're) okay to go". Like it or not, we find a certain certainty (pardon the pun), in boundaries, limits, (love laws HAHA) and in Death. Cos these limits force us to focus and concentrate only on the comprehendable. We find security in these limits, as we can conviniently ignore the existence of the greater and the limitless, as if it were not there.. In doing so, we convince ourselves that we are in control, cos we know where to cordon the keep-out territory.

But the moment we start to think beyond keep-out territory, and we start thinking of eternity, and say, a many-years-down-the-road issue, we find ourselves almost unnerved by the fact that life is going to continue on and on and on and on and on and (you get my drift)... even after you die. Think about the year 3000. What's going to happened then? For those of you with calenders in phones (pressumingly all of you, other than those in the 1190s thinking about the same issue as i am now), scroll on from this month to Oct in another year. Keep doing it... and after awhile stop. And think what are the possible things that could be happening then. Does it overwhelm you? It should. The fact that you know time is limitless and will continue on no matter what happens today, and that Oct 2030 will come, should awe you. And the possibilities to what could be happening then should have the same effect.

I can't imagine living forever and ever and ever.. (and I can't say till the cows come home.. cos well, forever and ever is forever, and there is no TILL). I can't begin to wonder what lies beyond the 5% or 0.5% of my brain cell's i'm using. And I can't begin to even understand God. Or His love for that matter.

But one thing is certain, i'm awed by the limitless power and love of God. It is beyond me. But i'm not going to build a keep-out territory, to keep-out His love, just becos Limitless confounds me. I'm not going to do that so i can con(vince) myself into feeling secure in controlling my own boundaries. Instead, i'll just acknowledge His love IS limitless. And not try and comprehend it.

Knowing He loves you, and me. And not try to rationalise His love away...

PS: Haha, i hope this entry wasn't too difficult to comprehend. If it was.. just know and acknowledge enough. HAHA, k, joking. Just, I'm in a night-high mood, and all these thoughts are running through my head.. Hope you read till the end.. and not skip parts arh! Bottom line is.. some questions just need to be realised and acknowledged, and NOT answered.

Oh and btw, the new blog pic is part of the whole limitless thing.. You can't see the end can you?? Haha..

I'm sorry for another "OH BTW", but Oh Btw, i didn't realised its exactly one year since i blogged about the dream wedding.. how timely! :)

the 'w' word.

It's a quivering, a shivering, a trembling.
Night winds blowing, howling into
a nothingness, an echoing nothingness

of mind.

of mine.

From nothing Man was made.
And in his Nothingness,
fears and doubts and enacted plays arose; arise.
The Age Old question.

what if.

what if, nations rage and seas arose
kings and queens cry
foul, Foul
castles, kingdoms, galaxies
fell like oak trees in vast forests
like signposts in clear highways
like pens released from one's hands.

what if.

in Nothingness man contemplates his "what if"s,
and in Nothingness, he realises his nothingness.
and he falls
like a man, a man, a man, on his knees before Him.

The greatest What If, who erases all other "what if"s.
The One whom, If you can believe,
you would find all certainty.

and then your;
my
what if's would be,

Yes, Lord.

-desmond ng, 17th Oct 2005.

The One with the Tears and Crying.

And so it is.

I'm officially no longer bound by 7.45am, or 8 to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.30pm. Cos its farewell for us. Farewelled. Cos farewell assembly is come and gone.

Like col says, i'm so blesssed to have had a lit teacher as my CT.The lit teachers did dedications to their classes, ie, the arts classes. Cos these teachers actually had real fun with us and took the time to bond with us.. (as a sidenote, hey hannah and col, you guys are sort of arts students anyways.. haha, we've adopted you already.)

Mr K was singing our "class song", and i turned ard and i got a shock of my life. The whole role of girls were just crying like sieow. Haha, its very touching... Haha, and my fav teacher mr wool(d)head, sand some silly song. That was touching too. Just in case you were wondering, I didN'T cry. haha..

We had CT after assembly, and none of us had expected what we encountered. Standing ard in a circle, ex-frens acknowledging a lost frenship, or non-ex-frens acknowledging others for what they've done. Haha.. hugs, handshakes, and lots of tears and mucus, Mr K is officially the teacher who's power is to MAKE PP CRY. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I DIDN'T cry, even tho 4 out of the 6 boys were. I thought i wld be the first seeing as how i cry so much.

But I guess i've just learnt to LET GO. I've been forced to let go of frenships and tings, and pride so much this year. And here's what this entry is leading to. Haha, i wanna do this ting from col's blog! of cos, this is not just exclusively about sch mates. Its about pp who've crossed my path and made a difference. good and bad.

"take the opportunity to say frank/bitchy/true comments abt 15 random people"
1. Thank you thank you thank you for being in sch. Even tho i'm not with you most of the time, your very presence in sch, and just seeing you makes me rmb who i am, and makes me feel at home..
2.The moment i read this, somehow i just wanted to do this, so i cld let out, regarding you. I'm just so utterly irritated by you. I dun think you want to understand what exactly you did. And I wonder how you can see me and not feel anything. Or maybe you do but you ignore it. Why, does it disgust you? Do you disgust yourself? I dunno, and I dun want to.
3. I am more disaapointed than irritated. I dunno what happened to you, but i hate how cowardly you can be sometimes. I have so much to say but i'm dunno how to. But its not worth it. Cos someone like that is not worth it.
4. You'll prob nv know how assuring you are when you love God more than other things. And you assure me that I'm doing what I do, only for Him.
5. Sometimes i dunno why you are like that. As nice as you are, you're not very also. Sometimes i feel so choked by you and i find myself agreeing to things i dun agree with, cos i'm just so tired of arguing my way out of someting i have my own view on. But you're still someone i wanna thank.
6.You wun know how your nonsense has actually helped me out so much in sch. I have someone i can tell stuff about. We don't talk much now but i know you'll be there when i want to.
7.Arh, you. Haha, i look forward to seeing you cos you're just nuts. No sense of normality in you, you know. But you've been so awesome to have in sch. I hope we always keep in contact, altho that's abit impossible. But doesn't hurt to try.
8. You're not really nuts, just abit dense at times. But thanks, even tho sometimes i'm irritated by you, you're still a good fren.
9.Grow up. Seriously.
10. I'm not upset with you. Not that. Just, be who you are. Whoever you're trying to be now, isn't who you are. Its a bad act. Unless you're trying to say you are actually a schizo.
11.You are just irritating la. But i like talking to you and being irritating back at you. Haha..
12. You, haha, strangely I bonded with you. But yea, you're a nice guy, just watch some stuff and stop some stuff.
13. I miss talking to you. But I guess you've changed.. or maybe i have. But i long for the day where i'll suddenly get an email, or msg from you. You've helped me so much.
14. I miss talking to you too. But I guess you've changed.. i have to. But i long for the day where i'll suddenly get an email, or msg from you. You've helped me so much. And I'm sorry that i actually said what i said about you to another. That other, well... was not worth it. I miss having you ard. Sometimes i still wish you never left.
15. You are the One who held on the longest, and still are. If You did such a thing, I wonder wld i be black font or blue font. Or gold font like You are on mine. I've dissappointed You so much. I feel like crying. But i love You. I want You to be proud of me, but its so hard. I miss You so much. How I long for the day i could be with You. But I fear cos i'm just so dissappointing and unworthy. I'm Missin' You. I love You so so much, pls don't doubt that.

1. Your name spelled backwards?
dnomsed gn iew gnawk

2. Where were your parents born?
in singapore, some hospital.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto yourcomputer?
HEY! i dun download stuff. haha, k. not anymore..... but maybe..............

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
auntie mary's and dennys restuarant. haha..

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
hmmm. the last time i tried to swim was in timor, in the sea.
the last time i swam, in a POOL was prob sec 2 when i almost died tryin.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
yes, very often in PHPPS, and i was always playing the sarong boy, cos i'm so dark.

7. How many kids do you want?
hmmmm.

8. Type of music you dislike most?yo
techno, and heavy.

9. Are you registered to vote?
nope.

10. Do you have cable?
yeaaaaaaa! cable!

11. Have you ever ridden on a horse?
yes, when i was young, i have a photo. haha, and thanks for the advice qh! (i took it from her frenster bullentin)

12. Ever prank call anybody?
almost NO ONE in my region can say no to this qns, haha.. its our life force.

13. What happened to #12?
So many reactions. Those who laugh with you, those who are clueless but continue talking.. those who hang up on you (ie a certain boy who went, "What the **ll....." and hung up.)

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
neither. im no adrenaline junkie.

15. Furthest place you ever traveled?
hmm. is china or aussie further? i haven't really travelled much.

16. Do you have a garden?
erm.. i want a farm in the future, so does that count?

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
baby blues, undoubtedly.

18. Do you really know all the words to yournational anthem?
haha, sort of.. maybe? i mean i might be pronouncing them wrongly..

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
showers at night, and morning.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
please stop rubbing it in, i haven't watched a movie in ages.

21. Favorite pizza topping?
cheese cheese and more cheese.

22. Chips or popcorn?
depends.. i like chips sometimes, i like popcorn sometimes. i love food.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Ruby Red. HAHA, k. what kind of stupid qns is this. Obviously i dun wear it. OR MAYBE........ haha

24. Have you ever peed somewhere besides thetoilet?
when i was young..

25. Have you ever been in a talent show?
i have not much talents that can be showcased... i mean.. other than the uncanny ability to move things with my mind.. but hey. that's no big deal.

26. Orange Juice or Apple?
Apple..

27. Who was the last person you went out toeat with and where did you dine?
hmm. i can't rmb. that was sunday, with joash and some of them at wm foodcourt.

28. Favorite chocolate?
white and milk.

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
TSK, i did say i was not eligible to vote before right.

31. Have you ever won a medal?
in pri sch, at those races.. where i was still fit and loved to play sports.

32. Are you a good cook?
hey, instant noodles and instant mashed potatoes count too. i say they do. haha

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
erm. i can make my own?!?

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
call 1800-112-6868 NOW! and if you call in the next 30 mins, we'll add an extra dollar to original price, to make it more expensive! ........ no. haha, but i liked to watch them when i was young..

35. Sprite or 7-up?
Hmmmm. 7-up.. maybe? haha, i can't rmb 7-up's taste..

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Yea, for the past14 years.

37. Last thing you bought at Walgreens?
greens? haha, no such place in sg. Not that i know of..

38. How about at Albertsons?
Ditto.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or findtrue love?
I wld love to find true love, then be a Billionaire.. and still keep my true love, true.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope. The visually handicapped find love too. Besides, love is blind.

41. Can exs be friends?
of cos they can, if they want.

42. Who was the last person you visited in ahospital?
(WAH LAU! QH!!! that's just so lame, and q funny actually. haha..)
she said britney spears, and that the baby's really cute.. haha, yea i agree the baby's cute, but hey britney ain't looking too good. she says she's feeling not too hot, and wants to cover up with the sheets. she finally took my advice and is covering up, FOR ONCE. You heard it first at repeatedly.blogspot.com

43. Did you have a lot of hair on your head as ababy?
yes. itink. as if i shld know.. but britney's baby has alot.. blonde tho. What did you expect?

44. What message is on your answering machine?
Hello, this is desmond. If you're hearing this msg, you might want to try IMH's hotline, cos i dun have a answering machine. Either that or you can call IMH, to send me in.

45.What type of shoes do you wear most often?
Merman have no feet. I have fins!
plus, being a greek god, of the supper and of food, i travel ard in a pumpkin. Hey, it works.. my pumpkin brought Cindy to the ball ya know.

46. What was the name of your first pet?
cow. Its the name of the cow who pulls the pumpkin across time and space..

47. What can be found in your school bag?
Greek gods have no sch bags.. but cupid says he'll lend me his bag od arrows one of these days..

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
That i can be a greek god, if only in my delusional state.

50. What are you thinking about at the moment?
you guys must be thinking i'm mad. i rather be too... sometimes.