Wednesday 30 November 2005

The One About the Camp.

Yep, I'm joining the (probable) scores of people blogging about the camp. This year's budget camp has been definitely fun. It's been a pretty amazing time, and definitely refreshing.

One of the most amazing things about this camp, is that I actually really ran around, and threw my heart, soul, AND sole, into the treasure hunt and the other games (cept' for B.O.S -- its the only time i can slack.) I say sole, becos i came back home to pluck out a small peice of glass from the sole of my feet. (OUCH.)

Of cos, you may think i played only cos I had to, since i was the assistant leader. Haha, which is not really true. I got quite a pleasant shock when i heard i was gonna be assistant leader, since every year, i join the ranks of SLACKERS in games. To be all excited and 'on' for games is just so not me. But this yearI was really quite pleased with the games altho there were many flaws and debatable winners. But, its just a game.

Food was bad tho.. Really bad. Its one of the worst in the many camps we've been in. Of cos, the worst still in kukup, nothing beats the vomit scrabbled eggs.

And we had to pay for our shirt, and we had no busing back from east coast. BUT despite all these, this year's camp was really fun. Like said, I really enjoyed the (most) of the games, I had nice room mates, had a really fun and hilarious time talking late into the night with all the region guys. K, they were talking, declan and i were falling asleep. But the fellowship was really fun... I guess if I were to describe the camp with one word, it would be meaningful. The fellowship was truly meaningful, like the whole region was so close. I like that feeling. :)

Of cos, the sessions were really good. To be honest, when i heard pastor miguel was preachin, i was abit scared, and sceptical, cos his prayers are all so long... I entered camp with a mix of anticipation and scepticism. I knew I needed something, just couldn't pinpoint what exactly. I was excited about leading a group, but worried I couldn't convince them to be enthu, or actually play. My mind acted out so many possiblities of how the camp would go before i actually went. Good, bad, mediocre, superb, dissapointing for me... SO MANY MY HEAD JUST EXPLODES MAN!!

But beyond that, I knew one thing for sure. I needed to go for the camp. I needed God, still need actually, more than ever.

God did meet me. He heard every single thing I asked Him for. I asked Him for specific things, and He gave me that, AND MORE.

I dunno what to say. I'm speechless at His love. His forgiveness. His Father nature. His Brother nature. His Spirit, and Best Friend nature. I'm amazed by His big hands, and big legs. His big heart. I'm blowned away by His power, His plans for me.

I'm so humbled by His greatness and my weakness. I'm so thankful He loves me, still, and despite all my horrible horrible messes. I'm speechless. How is it, He can still use a wretched soul like me. How He chooses to.

I stand amazed. So amazed. His love is so deep, so wide, so great.
I'm sorry the entry is so long, but, i just am so reluctant to stop typing about His greatness. I mean... I know He is real. I know it. I know it so well. Becos He's too specific to be a coincidence. His love is so deep so deep.

My Daddy of many chances.
My Big Brother of unmeasureable love.
My Best Friend who's always there, always listening.

I'm speechless.
k, not really since i've typed so much, but this is not anywhere near the amazement i wish to express about His love.

His forgiving, second chances, love........

Friday 25 November 2005

The One about the As.

Haha, I'm so ont going to talk much about my As, just that its over. And i really need God. And I'm gonna trust God, that whether or not I do well He's smart enough, and He's a really good SIMS: The Real Deal player.

On the issue, of trusting God, I've just had an epiphany about Faith. Well, its a testimony, sort of. Haha, yes, other than Him bringing me through the DREADED As. Seriously, its the worst exams i've taken in ALL my life. On the topic of exams................... we'll leave that till later.

You see, I lost my TGOST text on thurs, which is my one of my lit text. And that's one day before my paper, which is today. I searched like all possible places like three times over, but couldn't find it. So i thought, ok. ask, Sheena, since i'm going to her party in the evening, and she's my senior. Anyways, long story short, she says she needs to find. Which is YAY thank God.

Then at the party, i realised she didn't know my paper was the next day, so obviously i can't be forcing her to find her book, when she
A.) has paper the next day
and B.) is the birthday girl.

So i told her its ok. No clue what else to do, No Backup Plan. I didn't think too much about it. Went home, and miraculously found it in a place that i previouslyi searched THREE times to no avail, no kidding.

Of cos, i had alot of righteous ppl praying for me, haha, and we know the prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

I've long felt Faith was believing what you cannot see. Now I have a new definition, Faith is having no backup plan, but trusting God still. Its not me. Its the God i have faith in.

THANK YOU GOD. :)
Anyways, exams are really disgusting, for all kids, all students. Esp in a country like ours, where education is almost equivalent to money, and a future, when you do badly (at least in the eyes of the State and its blind followers), its not difficult to find even children being thrown into EXISTENTIAL DOUBT. (SORRY GUYS, AP stills haunts me.)

ie. exams can make or break a person, not just in manner of business, or academic future. While it shouldn't dictate our own self-worth, somehow, it just does.

GROSS.
haha, to infinity and beyond!!!

BTW, batman rocks. BATMANBATMANBATMAN!

Friday 18 November 2005

The About All the Answers.

Its been 6 years since i've been in the youth ministry. Since 1998/9 to now. From the old JEC million fishball days to the CCK sunshine place.

I used to look up to the older youths alot; ppl like sharon, joshua, ferri, so on so forth. I practically looked up to every older youth there was in JEC. Not that i don't now. But I used think that once i reached their age, I would have all the answers, cos to me at that time, they had all the ans.

The most of them are 6 years older than me, so since 6 years have passed since then, I'm now the very age they were, when i looked up to them.

Strange to know that, I don't have all the answers. Its funny to realise that 6 years later, i can't solve everything, and i'm not great at much.

Its not true. Being 6 years older does not warrant wisdom and omnipotence.

6 years. Pretty amazing huh?
So much has changed.

Sunday 13 November 2005

The One About Regrets.

On the topic of names, it is pretty amazing how a name supposedly tells more about you than your ability to quickly react upon hearing it. Seen since the Old/New testament days, God gave people names to reflect their destiny too. Abraham, "The Father of many nations", which he was. Jesus literally meant the Messiah, and Joseph meaning "He will add".. and how Desmond means "from South Muster" and so on and so forth.

But I wonder if it is still the case in modern society. I mean, for us, or for parents in the past century and the one we are in now, is it merely just a fad to have a cool sounding name? Like, did our parents really knew what our names meant before they gave it to us? Maybe, maybe not. At least they gaev us, well, human names. Try Kal-el. Nicholas Cage's son.. That's Superman! Or try this, i went online to find out, Gwyneth Paltrow's and Coldplay's Chris Martin's little Apple, Moonunit and Dweezil Zappa. GAWD!! Seriously? Moonunit? What's next, Keypad Fondue Ringring Martin?! Aren't we all thankful our parents gave us normal names.

But would you change your name, if you could, no strings attached? Or for that matter, change anything that happened before in your life?

I used to think I have no regrets. Up to yesterday when i watched Frequency, on channel 5 that is. Seriously, I love the Saturday night movies. Haha, this show's pretty cool. Its about this guy, John Sullivan. He is a cop, who misses his fireman dad who died 30 years ago, in a fire. Everyday he wonders what would it would be like if his dad never died. Then one day, becos of the Aurora Bureolis, and his father's old radio, he manages to connect to this man through the radio. They talk to each other awhile and they realise this is his Dad, Frank Sullivan. John warns him about his death, and saves him. And suddenly reality changes. His father lived to see his graduation day and all. But still dies of lung cancer cos of excessive smoking. Anyways, saving his dad triggers off other things to change like a series of homicides, including the murder of John's mom. They race against time to save her, and blah blah. But anyways, story cut short, they managed to catch the serial killer, and somehow Frank lived on, and reality changed again.. And Frank and his wife managed to continue on healthy and alive in the new reality. ITS SO NICE!

But, compose myself. Haha, the point is, whatever happened in the past makes you who you are today. Would you then have changed anything if give a chance to?

I always believed I'd would not regret anything. I wouldn't call it regret, but i would say I did have things that i wanna change if i could. No, not the name. Haha, altho the idea of 2 names is really cool. Still, i wonder if i should have changed my personality. My likes/dislikes. Should i have went back in time, reach out my hand and say, "Desmond, no. Don't do this. No Desmond, don't touch that. Desmond, you don't want to care for this person so much. Desmond, no. Let that friend go. Desmond, don't say anything. Desmond, hold your tongue, your arms, your legs. Desmond, no. Don't cry."

I dunno. I want to. But I'm all that i am cos of all those blasted things. I'm thankfully, very, for the friends i have now. Still..... there are so many things that almost daily i think about, wondering, if i could have. Sometimes i wonder if my pining for them is what gives me strength to go on.

Yet despite all the desire to change, there are things i would never want to trade away. My family's one. Another is how I knew God since young. That i really fell in love with Him when i was a little boy. Probably even more then than now.

Today during worship, suddenly it just hit me. I was looking for a love-story. Not bgr, kinda thing. But a relationship.. with a dad, or a mom, a sis, or bro, or a fren. Just like John Sullivan and his love for his dad. I'm still looking for that love-story. But just there and then, it was like, God was saying, "I'm your love story. Search no more. I'm your love story."

What can I say but, "Yes You are. Thank You."

Tuesday 8 November 2005

The One about the Name. (You'll get it later.)

1.What time is it now? Not a good time.

2.What is your full name?Ng Wei Kwang (Shane) Desmond. Inside-joke. sort of. hurhur.

3.Single or taken?Oh God, Take me away.

4.What does your name mean? Apparently it means Man of the World, mond is world.How sad, i'm not a man ofGod, but of the world. My sec 2 teacher told me about this site, which i go to every once in a long while to read. just for fun. they cut the analysis by alot now. but.. it still is online. KABALARIANS click it and find my name k! see whether its right. i tink it sort of is. but all these things are often so vague, it applies to almost everyone.

BTW, check this out.. this is way cooler! BEHIND THE NAME DESMOND Says my name is actually of Irish descent. Now, probably no coincidence i love the Irish!! WOOHOO! Made my day.

5.Who picked out your name? I decided on it when i was 2. DUH. My parents.

6.What is your nickname ? dunno. des? i dun really hear ppl calling me by nicknames recently.

7.How old are you?- 17 +1.

8.What colour are your eyes?- red eyed.

9.shoe size?- 9.5? 10?

10.How tall (or short) are you?- im short. 169.5. How sad. But hey! My name's of Irish Descent!! Not that sad afterall!

11.What do you like about yourself?- How bout I like the Person living in my heart.

12.What do you always get complimented on? I dunno. Seriously.. do me a favour, compliment me and cheer me up! Wait. My name's of Irish Descent! I'm happy!

13.What is your worst quality?- Wad. I'm all good. HAHA, k. I'm a bitter person.

16.What are the last four digits of your phone- Why would you like to know? Btw, i didn't delete qns 14 and 15.

17.Do you think you're cute?- Trust me honey, I'm the cutest boy that ever or will ever roam the planet. HAHA, becos i have a name of Irish Descent!

18.Hair colour?- black. jet black.

19.Do you wear contacts?- No. I rather be uncontactable.

20.Living arrangements?- I want to go NZ, or Ireland! Cos i have a name of Irish Descent.. haha, prob move to South Munster.

FAVOURITES-
21.Favourite Drink?- good teh peng? I dunno.

22.Favourite alcoholic drink?- I dun drink. Wait. Haha, the Irish drink lots of beer! K.. i like beer. HAHA, kidding. Alcohol is God's bane to man.

23.Favourite month?- December cos of the south.. i feel the snow in the West, when dec comes. Serious. HAha.

24.Favourite subject?- CME.

25.Favourite board game?- Hate to say this, but i hate board games/comp games/card games. I suck at ALL games.

26.Favourite website?- My hotmail acct, if there's a nice mail waiting. Unfortunately it never happens anymore. So JUNK MAIL is my fav. I love seeing everything cleared.

27.Clothing brand?- Nothing really. I wear wadever i tink is nice. Man, i even wear things i dun tink is nice.

28.Favourite day of the year? Hmmmm. Christmas prob.

29.Favourite colour? Hmm. You know the bluish grey you see in rain clouds just before it rains? I love it. I love the cool, refreshing rain it brings.. It hides you, the darkness almost protects an aching heart.

30.Favourite animal?-ALot, but i realise it is Favourite. So.. haha, walrus?

31.More girl or boy friends?- i dunno? In sch prob girls, hey, my class only 6 guys la. Church is equal i guess/

32.Who's your best friend?- Best frenSSS can?? Haha, they prob know who they are. Love you guys man! You guys are the best... btw, before this sentence becomes all about you guys, i better save it by saying, I have a name of Irish Descent!!

33.Are your parents together?-duh.

34.How often do you get together with the family?- every evening?

35.Do you tell your parents or your friends more?- Frens.. but i choose who i tell. Some pp know nuts.

36.Anything special about your parents?- they can quarrel and make up and my mom ends up angry with me instead. But i guess they're very giving pp. They give others more than their own kids. Joel! Rmb how you guys use to come over to my house for chocs and sweets?? We weren't allowed to eat them, till you guys came lor!

37.Siblings and their ages?- sister brother. Age secret.

YES OR NO-
38.You're a flirt?- I dun need to. I'm charming. I have an Irish descended name.

40.You're mean?-Of cos. Being mean is like my bread and butter. Peanut butter. I like it better.

41.You like someone?- kay poh. if you must know, i like my frens.

42.You can keep secrets?- yea. I can. i dun talk much anyways.. i mean i talk nonsense alot.. haha, but real stuff not very often. I dun like talking, tho it doesn't seem that way but seriously!! haha

43.You dance in front of the mirror?-HAHA, funny you shld ask, since i just did the fat dance yest and ended up laughing at myself.

45.You sing in the shower?-been a long while buster. a long while.

46.You've liked Britney Spears?- NO!! Robot.

47.You've liked a cousin?-Nope.

48.You've been in the opposite sex's bathroom?- Isn't the bathroom unisex. Washroom yea.. by accident and intentionally when my frens invited the guys in to look at blood. It was pri 6!! None of us knew about.... er hem. NEXT!

49.You've seriously hurt someone?-i dunno. with my tongue prob? But maybe not also. You've gotta love someone to be hurt.

50.You've been hurt seriously?- who hasn't? Of cos, somepp nv hurt me. they merely disgust me, and disgust requires no love. o

51.You get your way?-i try to? Heh.

53.You're willing to try new things?- No. I love safe things.

54.You've cheated on a test?- many times in the past. Now no more le. No point.

55.Smoked?- nope. I love my lungs. Probably Irish you know.

57.What colour are your pants?- HUH. I have so many. k now its khaki brown.

58.What are you listening to?-the melody of silence.

59. How are you feeling?- sick. i can feel it coming. and i dun get sick easily. Must be cos i came out of the covering.

60.What are you doing?- Nothing. This.

61.What are you eating?- Woodspeppermint.

62.How many people are online?-does it matter? I'm offline.

63..How's the weather?- i dunno, but its not bothering me so its nice.

64.What's on your mouse pad?- no mouse pad.

65.What books are you reading?-nothing. notes i guess.

66.Whats your favourite hangout place ?- church, at times.

67.What perfume do you use?- nah, dun have. I'm nice smelling enough.

68.What's in your purse/pocket?- You say leh? Money cards.

69.Tall or short boys/girls?- i dunno. long legs are nice. But not taller than me can already. Altho i'm not gonna get married. Too much commitment/responsiblity.

70.Blonde or brunette guys/girls?- Brunette definitely. Loved brunette actresses since young. Yea stereotype i know.

71.Good or bad boy/girl?- I'm good sometimes when i tink i shld, bad when i want to irritate you cos i dun like you? Haha, k everyone is both wad!

72.Boxers showing?-nope.. my pants fit me now, so nothing to drop.

73.Long hair or short hair on girls.?- whatever suits her.

74.What do you find annoying in a guy/girl?- hyprocrisy and backstabbing.

Friday 4 November 2005

The One about Mr Spaceman.

I've always had this lego man, with an orange visor(?) thing.. and its been with me since young. Its sitting on my table together with another 2 lego men. Anyways, I've decided to make him (them) a part of my bloglife. haha, i.e. I was very bored and refused to study.

ARGH! A's are really soon and i haven't written a gp essay/lit essay since prelims. SIGHSIGHSIGH.

Mr Spaceman doesn't want to go to sch. Look at the PE shirt in the background.








Mr Spaceman doesn't want to study or do work.






Mr Spaceman wants to sleep.









Haha, k, pardon the photos.. i'm not very good at taking photos. I used to say i take pictures no heads one. I took super long to take those few shots, just trying to get Mr Spaceman's face in focus. Of cos, you can see Mr Spaceman has really been a long friend of mine. Hasn't grown much older cos of the lightyears thing.. but he is "creaking bone(d).. battle-weary knight.. (with) rusty armour". His knees have gone soft.. His smile is chipped. But he is still my Mr Spaceman. (I'll get him a name someday, dun worry.)

Till next time Mr Spaceman..
To infinity and beyond!