The break through entry?

Breakthrough. It means breaking through. Moving past a barrier that supposedly would stop you. Think a place that can't be infiltrated being infiltrated. That is break through. Think an open bank at the corner of a street, and robbers going in forcefully. That's breakthrough. Think a man pounding on the doors of a building, and finally tearing the doors down. That's breakthrough.

And my point is? Well, it is that every breakthrough requires an action. And this action is carried out by the person who wants the breakthrough. Want breakthrough? Then what are we doing bout it? Agreed; its God who brings us through. But its us that have to choose to press in. It takes time like infiltrating, breaking down the door. It takes persistence and peseverence. No stopping.

Yah, want breakthrough, press in. I mean PRESS IN. Press : force must be applied.

But we wonder, only me and God? Nah.. thank God no. God gives us 'saints' tp breakthrough with us, just like robbers rob in a group and amry platoons infiltrating a place. More people, more effective. The closer the person, more effective. More close people, More good friends, More Godly friends, much much much more effective.

Sometimes its difficult to seek God alone. Sometimes you just want friends to be there and seeking God together with you.

And I'm so proud that some of you had online devotions when we were in east timor. Very blessed by that. Why not continuing anymore?

We've had you, your saints (AKA jonathans and davids) , What is the next chemical to add to create a breakthrough? God.
Naturally right? Faith in Him, Trust in Him, Hoping in Him. Leaving it to Him. It's all about....... HIM. Our duty is to press in, not move anything. That's his job circle, leave your itchy fingers out of His job scope.

I'll be realistic, Its not easy to let go. Not easy to do alot of stuff. Sometimes You wished some stuff would happen. But they never do. Sometimes that little heart aches and you literally feel it becoming 'suan' or sour. Sometimes you sit down, holding back tears as long as you can. But I'll be realistic once more. The truth is that mr Kleenex is up there all the while. The Spirit is a gentleman. You don't open up, He don't force Himself in. You ask Him in, he gladly comes in. That is the truth. Things will come tt we don't know how to control. But that's when we need to come to the One who controls all.

In my weakness Your strength is made complete and perfect.
Thank God! Phew...
Amen.

The "Where were you" entry.

This morning.There was a conference and the whole video crew was be on. So we're all in the video room. And I'm doing gp with Eileen. I did praise, she did worship. Seriously I think I'm losing my gp-phoric skills. heh.. freaky man.

So I went through tt part of sunday morning, and some one asks me, "Where are you?" But I wasn't attentive lah, so i went on to lunch and the afternoon part of sunday.

So some things happened that really made me so 'yuck' and disappointed. we went to eat, then over to colleen's house to study/do work. Still stuff happened that made me so 'argh'. But then things eased up abit. Haha, thank God for declan. Never thot I'm saying this, but sometimes when i look at Him, My heart just melts. I've seen God in him. Glimpses of it. But I still do. And it made me smile. ( Mushy.. yucks!)

Well, then someone asked again," Where are you?".

Yah, then john and i left to go evenin service. I was on gp again. So had to be there early. Well, i went up to video room again, with more or less the same ppl. Haha, this time, we had like 9 songs!!! So many many many!! Bro derek is a man of many songs.

Anyways, cut things short, it was really really bad. really bad. We couldn't find the song through it all anywhere!! I had to use search button (used only in times of utter despair) and then found it. GA12.

Then after tt, nearing the end of the service, bro wilson at the tampines side sang this really weird old song. Can't make out the words.. and we (fabian, brian and me) were searching like nut cases. And the camera man (gabriel) was hurrying us. I almost employed search button, but fabian found it last minute. Bro wilson started the song with an 'OH' which wasn't even part of the song. ARGH!!

Well, service over, and as i switched off my laptop and someone asked me again, "Where are you?". I was too hurried to get down to meet up with the rest of the youths to reply.

yah.. and after much procrastination, the whole lot of us decide to go blue roof for dinner!! COOL! The older youths and the younger youths and the obasans and ojisans all go to the same place for dinner!! Stuff happened on the way to blue roof, at blue roof and after blue roof. And i felt so much like running to foong's place to just stay over. And yah, cry.

And someone asked me, "where are you?".

I came back home, and things picked up abit. I chat online with some ppl and suddenly a person says something that made the difference in my day. We began to chat about God and all.

Finally I took time to listen to that someone who was looking for me all day. Finally I could hear him becos it was only then that i focused on him. On Him. When we spoke of Him. Then I heard Him say once more in His sweet sweet voice, but no longer asking me where i was the whole day.

Rather He said, " I was there with you throughout the day."

He asked where I was. I couldn't say.
I didn't ask where He was. But I knew. And He told me too.

" I was there with you throughout the day."
Amen.

"All I'm asking is that you turn your eyes upon Me.

Upon Me.

Upon Me.

Upon Me.

I don't hate you. Never did. I love You so much.
I don't care how messy your life is.
All I ask is that you return that gaze to Me.

I'm not asking you to solve your problems.
I'm not asking you to try harder.
I'm asking you to turn your eyes back to Me.

And to watch Me.

For the Son does only what He sees His Father doing.

Likewise when you watch Me, you will do what I do.
Likewise when you watch Me, your heat beats in alignment with mine.

Turn your eyes back to Me. Simply turn your eyes back to Me.

Then passion will return. Then the things I have for you will be restored. Restored and given back to you more than before."
-- 12.20 - 12.30 pm, Sat 7 Feb.

The Post-Fever 1oo Conference @ COOS

Jesus I believe in You And I would go
To the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For You alone Are the Son of God
And all the world will see that
You are God That You are God

Stagnant. Stagnant. You've turn your eyes off Me.

God just brought something to my mind in the conference. Everything felt so familiar, as if i was preparing to go east timor. Just like those 4 days last year which were really great days. And something in me leaps again, is set free again, is joyous again, is uncertain again, but is looking towards Him again.

You've turned your eyes off Me.

That something feels all these, not becos I was in the same place where my fire and passion was blown into flames, though it is the same feelings. Rather it was and, still is, becos God is calling that something back. It's a sort of re-ignition of a past passion. Re-focusing I guess.

When the other east timor team was sharing, God reminded me stuff. One thing that immediately I reminded myself was Part of Healing Process--the words said to partly to me. And partly to them.

You've turned your eyes off Me.

But God didn't mean for me to keep looking towards the things that needed to be healed and to the processes. He had meaning for me to look to Him. And as I worshiped and sang, I realised I lost something so unique to me. I lost them. But amen to the truth that our God is a God of restoration. There and then He restored. And slowly I believe He will restore the rest. I'm clinging on to the words spoken.

You've turned your eyes off Me.

It hurts. Badly. But He called the boy higher. To that place of re-focusing. To that place of surrender. To the nations. The boy was left so lost. But the boy knew Him. He knew Him. And want to know Him.

You've turned your eyes off Me.

You've turned your eyes off Me.

God didn't say growing cold hearted. Yah, maybe you've not grown cold. But are you hot? It's not a matter of how cold you are. But of how hot you are. Cold is the absence of heat, not the presence of cold.

God didn't say ignore. But He didn't say bother. He said,"Turn your eyes upon Me."

Thank God He restores. Thank God He speaks. Thank God for the grace to trust in Him. Thank God for being God. Thank God for being there. Thank God for second chances. Thank God He bothers enough to woo you. Thank God for rebuking. Thank God for His love. His love that superceeds all else to emerge strong and unfailing.

This post meeting has seriously challenged me to just look past my problems and unto Him. To re-commit my life to Him first, then His cause, second. To not lose sight. And to seek Him for who He is, not what He can give.

"But I restoreth."
Amen.

The WOAH prayer meeting.

And I breathe in Your breath of life
That fills my heart
You are my all Consuming Fire

I stand here Before You
In wide open wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose In me
As I'm reaching for You

So cool. What could be fun-ner? What could be more exciting than dwelling in God's presence and just enjoying Him.. and worshiping Him?

Today we had one worship meeting man. I'll speak of the before prayer meeting first. I walked from my house to mrt, then took mrt to cck and then 3oo. And i tell you, when you've been having such weird sleeping times like me, and you are travelling on a mrt and public bus alone, your "stay-awake" nerves fail you terribly. Got to admit i was like struggling to keep awake. My eyes were half opened loh, and i was just forcing them open.

Haha.. Anyways, as i was in 3oo, Thank God it was not crowded, unusually. If it was i would have been more sleepy. Anyways, i said to God, "Look, I'm really sorry I'm dozing off. God You've got to help me stay awake during prayer meeting later." And a few minutes later (I'm still struggling to stay awake at this moment lah huh..), the bus stalls at the bukit panjang govt bus stop. And I'm like, "WHAT?!? What nonsense.. Man.. God this has so got to be You loh!! Thank You!!Hahaha..." Haha.. crazy? Nah.. Just tt God is creative. Becos the bus stalled, we had to get down and hop on the next bus. But i decided not to wait and just walked across to cck bldg. And tt little walk made me v much awake. WOAh. The power of my God.

Then at prayer meet, we just break off into this powerful worship session, haha.. the song shirley lim led, I stand here before You, was so right for the mood!!! The song was once a hit song, but it phased out. So when she sang it it didn't feel cliche. Haha.. But then Sis Sandy goes up. And I go ,"No. God No." You know like when you bargain with your hp alarm to give you a few more minutes of sleep? Yah..like tt. And God sort of brought us into another realm of worship. Totally blew my mind. Sis Sandy didn't stop the worship to go ahead with prayer pointers. Just went with the flow and the worship. And we go into worshipping Him and repenting and renweing our lives the whole prayer meeting.

It was just like renewal. I dunno. That word comes to me strong. Another word that came to me was also resistant. Resistant.And yet another word was this.. argh!! Let me try to rmb!! OH!! "In your weakness My strength is made perfect.". That word came so clear and so gently. And God seemed to be saying, " Why do you try so hard in Your own strength? Do you not know you cannot do it unless through Me?". I had forgotten this verse over the past few months. But God reminded me. That sweet Spirit took time to remind me. He didn't have to, but He did. I'm thankful He did.

Another thing was how God impressed on my heart, " I don't want you to be a guest in My courts, where you come and go. I want you to stay in My throne room. Would you stay and dwell in My presence, and not be a guest anymore?"

Bro willie and sister elaine went up to pray. And there i felt like it was a battle. Either you fight for a new deeper relationship or lose it. So many things happened in the short time. Okay..at one point of time I almost wandered off in my mind. Too tired. But well, God pulled me back. Literally. So much to say. Don't know where to continue.

But sighz. I'm still exasperated at the glory and splendor and the awesomeness and the wisdom and the simplicity of my God. Of our God. Of the God of all. Let's be challenged to go deeper into our relationship with Him. Whatever is past, is passed. It's difficult to let go. But hey, It is in our weakness that His strength is made perfect. In Him, all things are perfect.
Amen.

The Sunday Entry.

WOAH. Sunday is my fav day. Whole day in church!! But ends fast. Man....

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Your loves makes me sing
Your love's amazing
Steady and unchanging
Your love's a mountain
Firm beneath my feet

Lah lah.. got quite abit to talk about. Don't know where to start. One thing that really had an impact on me today arh? Guess it was when someone.. spoke to me. Eric. Sighz.. i wanted to tell him like ," Eric, you are right. For like almost everything. Where were you all this time!??!?" Hahah.. but yea.. God was good.

Another part was during worship in the morning. When something in me just said, " This is the ugliness of your heart. When I worship God becos of me and my own glory and agenda OR even becos of the sake of worshiping. And not becos of who He is." I was so taken aback. That is the ugliness of our heart when we do not worship Him in spirit and in truth.

BUT.. God then said thru it all.. if we were repentant and all.. there was a way he could provide for us. Hahah.. sorry, i can't rmb exactly what He said. But during evening service, Bro John Tan....... Peng Chai.. gave a word of God clothing us with His righteousness tt makes us worthy. Hahah... only realised it as im journaling now that it was in line with what God impressed on my heart this morning.

Man.. God can use anyone. Anyone at all. Its the posture of our heart. Man.. I'm so excited at what God's going to do. i want to walk closer with Him. So excited. There are many things i do not understand, like things tt seriously don't seem to be wad theyshld be. But I've learnt also tt my God is big. And for that matter bigger. And for that matter again.. the BIGGEST. that's why i can rest assured in Him. No easy task.. but God will honnor that faith you have in Him. That little faith.

So arise you of little faith and put that which you have into His hands, and He will multiply that for His glory-- shown through your life. [ this is no bible verse.. just something i write cos it sounds nice.. hahah]

In His hands,
Amen.

I did alot of quizzes from derek's blog! Here's one.





What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Strange becos i was supposed to be marlin.. but well.. i'm dory now!


Complete sincerity: You believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. People would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly
serious.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla
Oh gosh. Haha, I'm calm and mostly serious? Hahah.. i appear calm. And I cna remain calm.. but once we've found the way to solve the prob, its then tt i start to over react.. serious? Oh my.. hahha.. wadever man.. thes quizzes don't tell me in reality who i am. God does. Thank you for knowing me. Thank You for being the Lord of all, the personal One who knows us inside out even when we don't.
Amen.

Passion Entry.

We'll give You all the glory
We'll give You all the glory
We'll give You all the glory
Christ the Lord.

Hmm.. today. Went to study at esther's house. Elvin's house lah. real studying okay? Although i admit i was really stinking tired and hungry.

Well we watched american idol. Wah seh,some ppl are just bad. And this housten or something state? Sighz.. hahha.. what was more intruiging was the comments. I mean its ok they sing bad, cos i'm not good myself, but the comments were like hurting man.

Simon actually told this guy, " You're uselesss." okay.. can't blame him also-- the standard was really exasperating. Haha.. but was wondering how the guy would take the comment.

Anyways, american idol is a nice show. Not trying to get you to bycott it. I wouldn't loh. Nice. Haha..

This entry i called passion becos i finally got the cd. Arh.. wadeva. Hmm.. just suddenly, as in suddenly few sec ago, thot bout leemin. And east timor.

She wanted to pass me her burnt passion cd tt day i left for timor. I still rmb it all so vividly. I declined ( declined? Desmonde desmonde, why so formal?!?). I mean i say dun wan.. cos elvin had the cd. I thot he did. I can't rmb tt lah.. Geez. I rmb when i sat the palne and read the letters. I read esther foong's and almost cried. (yea yea what's new? )

Hmm.. i was scared. But not for the trip. But for trips that i would make in the future. It was like, man. I sat in the aisle seat, and just clutched the packet of suan mei that elvin stuffed into my hands becos he saw his siao di's face of worry. (thanks..da ge). But sitting there you just felt God was really with you and you felt Him so strongly and its like He gives you a sneek preview into your future. It was cool.. but very scary. It was exciting. I mean, i felt a huge contrast of emotions. I felt scared bout the future trips. But in the future trips I felt no fear. I was alone and the only Person with me on those trips was God but I did not feel alone.

I was sooooo superbly grateful to elvin. The char bo ( esther tan, lily jie, sis pearl )were like behind us.. far far far behind. And like in all the emotions, haha.. i felt so unnerved and scared. And of cos alone. Its like ,"woah cool it man God, i'm just a boy. A boy who's like so freaked out by Your awesomeness that he just want to grab his da ge's arm and hold. And grab the other hand and bite. A boy who's like freaking out becos he is so overwhelmed by Your greatness."

We'll give You all the glory..

And with that began my awesome trip which i have so much to talk about. The way God was so with us and having fun together with us was like.... SwEet, aWeSoMe.. totally.. Lixin will agree with me.

Amazing how one studying session at elvin's palce can remind me bout the cd and how that cd can remind me about jessie and how that can remind about the checking-in time on the 5 of dec. And of cos how tt reminded me about His plans and wisdom and His glory.

Man. I'm so going to fever 100 this year again. It's all worth it ppl. The serving. The serving. The serving. (as i'm typing this, i reached the take my life bridge part,of passion, so very into the mood) THE SERVING. Looking back, it's about serving God. Its about serving His ppl. Its about serving the lost. Its about serving God's cause. Its about serving Him.

WOW. I've got alot more to write bout timor. Its like writing my journal there while over there. I'll write some other time. Man.. God You're good. You lifted me beyond my troubles once again to let me see Your purpose. And I'm satisfied. And I'm lost for words. And I'm awed.
Amen.

The I'm back Entry.

Well, I am back. after a long break. Hahha.. my comp down lah. SOOOO upset!! But its back up again. Just that my whole drive is gone. So i lost everything.

Man.. i tell you, the most upsetting is the east timor pics!!! Esther (either foong or tan), send me okay? I want nice desktops once again.

( I'm doing gp now.. so pardon me. Later then blog. Heh..)

Okay. Done. After like so long. Disgusting thing. Okay, this few days what's been happening? No idea man. Sighz. Hmmm.. Wadeva it is, my God still reigns. My God is stil good. My God is still God.

So many things happened. I'm seriously lost. In fact.. i really want to just throw in the towel. I don't want to try anymore. I've had it.

But i have no idea what God has for me. And thru it all.. He has good plans.. I hope. What am i saying? I know. My God is good. Please. Please.

Amen.

The Wadeva Entry.

Wadeva. --Inspired by Joash.

Wadeva. Wadeva.
dun bother dun bother.
dun care dun care.
cos no one else bothers
hence the wadeva
hence the cold hard truth
hence the cry of wadeva!!
nothing matters anymore
because i've been dictated by wadeva.
Does it look like i seriously care?
Cos i dun i dun I seriously dun!
Oh wadeva.whenever?whoever?
WADEVA..

arhh.... WADEVER LAH BOY!! (or as joash would put it, CRAP)

-- the wadeva poem. that doesn't ryhme. But hey.. WADEVA.

The " God, I need a hug" entry.

Everyone needs a hug once in awhile. That's what someone told me. Someone..? I need it now. Mr Someone..I need it now. Someone.

God i need a hug from You! Lah lah..I've come to realise that sometimes when you're really really happy, you want a hug too. I want a hug from God.

I'm really abit 'off' becos jessie's going. Heh. Man.. this entry has so got to be dedicated to her abit also. In the past year that I've known her, I just have to admit i feel very at home with her. She's like a friend that I've known for years. Maybe that's because last year felt like years? I don't know. Last year I established great friendships with ppl and i feel like I've known them for years.

She's been such a great friend. But the thing is that, she WILL CONTINUE to be a great one. =) No point in lamenting her going-away. Cos she will come back and tell of the wonderful things God has done in her life and thru her life there. This i speak in faith.

Amen.

The Argh! I don't bother bout anything now entry.

haha.. you know why i can't be bothered? Becos american idol's on tv. Hahhahah... tel you, its so commical. Wah seh.. Okay lah.. I've not a very good voice myself, but sighz.. oh well. Hahah.. since i dun have a good voice.. shall cease my commenting. Hahahha.. arh.. wadeva. If sharon joined.. I tell you.. man..

Anyways, today I visited my grandpa. For the first time i looked him very closely in the eye. I love my grandpa alot. Always wanted to put my arm over his shoulder kind of thing. Tho i can't speak teo chew and he can't speak mandarin ( well.. not that i can speak mandarin much anyways..) somehow i still feel close to him. Sighz.. its a kind of closeness that I long for with some ppl. Its like.. for that one time.. He felt like the closest person after God. I don't know. Now that I'm typing this, i don't know but, man.. i wished i was by his side right now.

All the closeness i've been longing for from other ppl. All the longing to be close with them. To know what they are thinking. To be counted as their good fren. All of it suddenly seemed to be re-focused onto my grand dad. I want my grand dad!!! No. I want my heavenly daddy!! (re-focused again. Fickle yes.. hey.. i still want to be clsoe to my ah gong and all those ppl okay?!)

You know, have you ever missed God? I have. Alot. Like now too. But.. In His word its said He will never leave us nor forsake us. So why then do we miss Him? I guess sometimes its becos we just detach ourselves from Him. He's like there beside us, but.. we're just focused on other things, that we say.. "geeze.. man i miss You.".. It's not wrong.. just that.. Well.. this song is the song that totally got my crying thing started. I geu this is a kind of missing that makes sense.. because its a longing to have God physically close to You. Arh.. wadeva.. i'm not really making sense.

Cos somewhere behind stars
Is Someone who belongs to me
And I know in my deepest heart
There's a place for You
Until I find the place You've made for me
But still I'm missin You..

Amen. God, I miss those ppl more than I miss You, becos their not here with me. Unlike You. You're right here with me. And right now.. i can't be bothered whether they are near me or far from me. It just doesn't matter anymore. I've found You. I'm satisfied. But I want more. I want to hug You. Tight. =)

The written-again-cos-some-problem-with-comp entry.

So close I believe
You're holding me now
In Your hands I belong
You'll never let me go

So close so close.. You'll never let me go.. So close so close.. You'l never let me go..

ARGH!! Silly comp sily comp. don't talk about it anymore.. hehe. Good thing i only typed abit. Okey dokey, well, was saying today was a very slow day. Wanted to go out becos nothing to do at home. The house was disgustingly clean. I'm so proud of my mother!! yah.. and me too. hahaha..

Well, everyone seemed occupied today. So dearie me just watched tv. Played (check this out okay.. you guys have to leave me a note to congratulate me ) metal gear something something. Downloaded it. I played the easiest level. Some demo thing. Fun? Okay lah. I hardly.. erm.. I'll correct myself, thank you.. I almost never play games. And this one is a shooting game leh!! Hahaha... Anyways, watched tv, played metal gear, deleted metal gear, sleep, eat.

Heh.. i had dinner with God today!! Haha.. arh..

Anyways, i watched cheaper by the dozen. Sighs, I watched it and i really was so envious. I mean the younger children in the family had siblings to look up to. One part that stayed in my mind for a long time was when tom welling flipped the cap on his younger brother, and gave him a very approving smile, saying ,"much better..". And i didn't cry at this movie. I couldn't be bothered with crying. I mean.. i wanted to, but I was just too tired.

And another character I remembered well was Hillary Duff. She sort of saw herself as the sane one in the family, and the one that had to solve stuff. She seemed like the one that held the family together, was the mother figure among all her siblings. The heart of the family..one of the most difficult postions in the family. Arh dah.. wadeva.. I'm thinking too much. Heh..

God is good. The movie sort of made me thankful for my family. And not forgetting ppl who have become like my family. The da ge, the er jie.

THANK YOU GOD!
THANK YOU FAMILY!
THANK YOU DA GE!
THANK YOU ER JIE!
THANK YOU MY BLOGGER RING FRIENDS!
Amen.

Majesty King of eternity
The sky the sea the land
Created in Your hand
Majesty King of eternity
Fill in blank please

We will exalt Your name King Jesus
Every knee shall bow
before Your throne
We will exalt Your name King Jesus
There's no one like You
There's no else like You

God, come close. Let me give You a hug. I don't want to let go. Ever.

God is good huh? Haven't had this sentence in my blog for quite awhile. Not that He wasn't in the past few days, but just that I'm trying to return to the simple things. That God is Good.

I just heard something that totally makes me abit disappointed. Its like this. Uncle Boyle says no morn prayer from tmr onwards to sat cos rp going back. And I have no sch from tmr to like sat. Talk about OH MY WORD.

Anyways, God doesn't just dwell in cck sanctuary every morning from 5.30 to 7. He's everywhere huh? You know what? Sometimes i blog all these. And I don't seem to be living my life like i believe them.

This I believe. That my God can show up even at my house whole day round, all week round, all month round, all year round. So yea, no morn prayer, but God still can show up. I've got so much to tell Him i don't know where to begin. Others may never give me a chance to speak. I may never give myself a chance to speak. But my God always gives me a chance to.

Have we given a chance to ourselves? Have we allowed ourselves time to speak to Him? Have we allowed Him the time to speak back? Have we allowed Him the chance to care?

I miss some ppl. Really do. Just want to be close to them once again.

My heart and flesh cry out
To You my living God
Your Spirit's water to my soul
I've tasted and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
I will draw near to You

I cry out for You.. Today as i was sitting upstairs in the balcony with yvonne.. i just looked at bro andrew's notes. I turned the page over, and i saw all the things we had to do. And I jokely said to God, "Wah seh.. all these stufff.. How to do? I cannot do it loh.. if i do one.. i will neglect the other.."

But I felt Him saying back to me, " That's the whole idea. I want to show you that you will not be able to do this on your own. I want to show you that only I can give you the grace to do it all. So that the world may know it was Me that changed you. So that you will know that you've got to let go of EVERYTHING, leave it to ME and you will know that I am in control."

Come once again to me. I love my God. But not as much as He loves me. That's the whole thing. Sometimes i think I love Him so much.. that i'm so wei da, but I neglect the fact that He loves me much much much more. But somehow, think these few days God has been smiling at me.. you know those kind of ," Aiyah.. that silly boy.. sighz.. hahah.. " kind of smile. I've done silly things.. alot esp these few days. Haha.. like an embarrresment to others around me. Haha.. da ge..... but well, God teaches us alot thru it all. I understand why now. Thank God.

Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere.
Amen.

Who art thou SF.. From whence have thou came?
Haha.. Come on, this guessing game not fun loh. Haha.. SF SF. Thank you..

What to speak of today? Its only the half-way mark of today.. but i just want to blog. Will edge be exciting? Will I enjoy later? How bout this.. Will I choose to enjoy? I've got to admit there are things that can/might pull us down. We all have problems. Some of us share it so freely.. or rather.. more freely with certain close ppl. Yet there are the some of us that need to muster alot just to speak of our problems, even with ppl so close to us. But let's trust Him.

I really wonder. When i don't trust someone whom I should.. when i doubt a person, will he feel sad? And if he does.. what more God? When we don't trust Him.. when we claim that we have faith in Him, but we worry excessively bout our problem/s, how much exactly does He hurt?

I always doubt so much. And I hurt. Because i hurt ppl that I love. I take a knife and draw it against His palms each time i proclaim I trust Him, but i don't. Prayer is a proclaimation of our trust in Him..

As the deer panteth for the waters
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

You're my Friend and You are my Brother
Even though You are a King
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything

I hide. Dear Brother.. I hide. You see me inside out. You see it all. I hide.
Amen.
-----------
The Edge -- I'm Here.

Hmm.. today's sermon was strangely good.

It started hitting me hard when sis grace said, "People say you're different, say that you're weird.".
Then as she went on she said," You shove things aside, because you think that as a christian, you cannot be unhappy, because others above you say you shouldn't complain. Must always be happy.".

Then, "You are so tired and broken that you don't want to come to services and see people and be around them."
Immediately after,she said " You blame yourself."

God's there my friend. That's what He's saying.. "I'm here." I don't know what you're going through.. or how much you hurt. I don't know if you'll share with me or anyone. but please do share it with the One who wants to share your burdens. Don't make Him feel left out. He wants to help. I don't know how.. but does it matter? Important thing is that He knows how.
Amen.

The Short Entry.
Short one.. cos I haven't blogged in like.. OH MY WORD.. 2 days. Haha.. Aiyah, i blog alot i know.

Anyways, i was reading this article today in daily bread, and this sentence just jumped out. I was like ,"Woah woah.. okay.. i'm holding the book now, no hands to catch you guys, so if you don't mind, can go back into the page?"

Haha, but before they went back in, they sure made an impression, or in imm-pra-see-on, on me. I don't trust in the power of prayer. But i trust in the power and might (think it was might,or was it wisdom?) of my God, and that's why I pray.

Muahahha.. so cool right? Makes me all the more want to see things thru God's eyes. Yah.. end here. Lah lah.. My God is good. Our God is good.
Amen. =)

Prayer + Worship = His Glory coming upon us.

Another prayer and worship session. And God totally showed up. Every time we've had it, God really turns up. Thank You Lord.

I really don't know how to start or where to start from. Let's start with.. the worship. One of the best worships i ever had. Guess there was this freedom in the place. Only the liberty God can bring.

Then we go to the prayer. We were called on, to pray.. under the leading and prompting of the Holy Spirit. Different ones of us went up. And i heard this from Him.. which was confirmed by alot of things. But i just didn't dare to go touch the mike. Then after that Jidi calls for altar call.. and I'm just worrying about what to do with the word. Worrying if its me or God. Worrying worrying worrying. So after I was prayed for... i ask sis helen for permission. And i say it. While the others are prayed for.

You want change? You've got to drop the past behind; lay it at the altar, before the cross, before His feet.

I went back. Feeling more charged up because of it you may think right? Nah... i felt soooooo stupid. I sat at the front row. Then i walked back. and sat behind the chairs, on the floor. And cried.

Anyways.. God did alot more stuff. This is just one small portion of it. After the whole thing, there were a few testimonies. one was from yvonne. She said that what I said, was an answer to what she had been praying about for a few weeks now. And i was shocked. You see how much i doubted God? You see how much I don't recgonise His voice? You see how much i lacked intimacy with Him? I have had alot more of these words and visions i didn't speak forth. What if I hadn't said what God told me today? Yvonne would still be questioning.

One thing God taught me today, was also that.. Its an honnor that He tells us stuff and chooses to use us. If we don't do what He tells us to do.. He can always call someone else to do it. But we miss out on a privillege that the King has given us.

God, please seal the work.

This just in! :( as in, it just happened secs ago.) Well.. God just showed me again that if we chose to place glorifying Him before our prob, He will honnor.

God thank You. I WILL hope in You.. my shield, my strength, my portion, my deliverer, my sheltar, my strong tower, my very present help in time of need.
Amen.

"Then who or what are you hoping in? The one who hopes does so coz he knows it's beyond his control. You can't hope for something and try to work it out for yourself at the same time coz it just doesn't work that way.Hoping puts everything into the hand of the One he's hoping in and trusts Him to do everything. That way there's no worry about screwing up or failing because its got nothing to do with you anymore, and everything to do with God."
-- Someone.

In Your presence I am content
In Your presence I am content
In Your presence there is life
Expressions of Your love
Revelations of Your power and might
In Your presence I can bring
A love song offering
In the presence of my King

CAUTION: Do not continue if you haven't watched school of rock and would not like to know some parts of the story. Or else, just read on lah.. =)

I watched School of Rock yesterday. Tell you the truth.. i tink it was pretty sad stuff to me also.. other than funny.

Maybe it was the mood i was in when i watched it. But there was this part, where this boy was lectured by his father, and he didn't say anything about it to anyone in class.. so they went on to have fun, totally forgetting that there was a downcast boy in their midst.

There was another part this girl with an awesome voice didn't want to sing no more, because she felt they would laugh at her for being FAT. No one knew she felt embarressed being fat. They made fun of her.

This chinese boy didn't want to join the band because no one talked to hjm. he thougt he wasn't cool. No one knew he felt that way. They made fun of him.

The principal was initially a jovial, and 'hip' lady. But her responsiblities made her renounce that side of her. And no one knew. No one knew. They made fun of her.

I cried at the show. Stupid? I dunno. I cried throughout many parts of the show. I guess i saw the other side of the movie. So many times in real life that's how we operate. We don't see the hurts people go through. We don't care abit for how they feel. We just go on living our lives, thinking everything is okay.

There are some ppl that, i really want to help.I duno. Its like you know they are hurting, but you can do nothing to help. I cried; silly i know. I'm so insensitive to them. I keep looking inward. Time to look out. Look beyond.

God, give me vision to see the hurting. Give me a pair of listening ears. Give me an encouraging mouth that speaks what You would. Give me hands to be able to hold ppl-- literally and also to be able to lift them up in prayer to You. Give me a heart that feels for the ppl, like You do. Give me a mind that can discern and is wise enough to always lead them back to You. Give me a broad shoulders (naturally if You want, but spiritually and in a manner of speech) , that I may be able to lend others to cry on.

I want to help them God. Help me help. Help me help the way they can accept it and the way You would want me to.
Amen.

Just one glimpse of Your glory
Just one touch of Your hand
And I will never be the same
Cause' God's Spirit is flowing through my veins.

We sing glory to the Father
Glory to the Son
Holy Spirit Fill us up until we are one
Like a fire Burn inside of us
Consuming every pain
As we lift our voice in woship
We will never be the same

This my friends.. is one awesome song. I fell in love with this song when Sharon led it at service. I couldn't rmb hearing this song then.. but at tt point of time i could catch it. Its such a simple song. Melody's simple. Words are simple. I think i can rmb wad Sharon wore tt day. Orange i think. It just stayed in my mind. Not Sharon. DUH. The song.

They sang it last night at power night...... wah..... but i needed to go bathroom... okay okay.. washroom.. not bathroom.. same anyway.....when i came back they were only sang for awhile more before changing.

Just one glimpse.. and Just one touch.. I always thot this was the flaw in the song. I mean.. hello?! One touch will never be enough. One glimpse will never be enough. But then as i sang it in the shower and at home and before net., as i'm trying to fit this song in to worship..(but never able too, that's pretty much besides the point though.), i realised the composer wasn't satisfied. But he was desperate. He was hungering and he was craving and he was longing and he was desiring and he was wanting.... wanting wanting wanting to draw close to the Almighty. So much so that he didn't mind if it was just one time. Because all that matter was at tt point of time-- at that instant, before God.. it would just be ALL about him and God. Nothing and no one else.

Never be the same. It spoke of choice to me.

Often I realised i've met with God, but haven't taken the encounter and using it as a stepping stone to meet again with Him and to do His work. That's why I'm not satisfied. I don't even take the meeting with God-- the glimpse and touch and use it to spur me on. I should be taking the meeting and keep it and use it to say, " God, this is what You have done.I'm thankful.. I'm keeping it.. and I'm going to use it to help me grow. But this encounter shows that You can do much more than just this.. and that's the reason why i want more."

And i will never be the same... I want to catch a glimpse, feel His touch.. and CHOOSE to let it change me. I don't want to be resistant no more. Let us be humble and humbled people before Him, that He can mould us to be ppl that reflect His wisedom and creativity and briliance; just like a master peice reflects how well the artist is at His work.
Amen.

There is a longing only You can fill
A raging tempest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I'm known
Drink from the river
That flows before Your throne

There is a longing only You can fill. A raging tempest only You can still.
Nothing else can satisfy me the way He does. Yea.. sure.. other stuff satisfy too, but they don't bring the kind of satisfaction He brings. I've been like a storm this whole day. So many feelings and thoughts. But its time to be still before the King.

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love.

Deeper than I've ever been before. I just want to love You more and more. Man.. this day wasn't easy, and even at times I just felt I didn't love God enough. Wasn't close enough. But I think God's singing this lines back to me. He's saying, "My love is sufficient." People.. His grace is sufficient, His love is sufficient. We have that strength to move on.. when ppl don't understand, when people seem to bluntly say things, His love is sufficient.

Sunrise to Sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied

My heart has found in You, a hope that will abide. Here in Your presence, forever satisfied. The hope in Christ. Have we lost it? Have we grown weary to the point we cannot believe that He is able anymore? The hope He brings... It abides. has abided, is abiding, will continue to abide. Bro stanley preached on being in the house of God. Have we been taking a yea-been-there-done-that, nothing-can-surprise-me attitude? I don't know.

I think i have. Today at morning prayer, lukewarmness popped in my head.God reminded me about lukewarm-ness. The kind of lukewarm-ness that comes out of being in the church all the time till the extent it becomes routine. Not saying we shld spend time NOT being in church. NO. But its really our attitude and heart. God is an exciting God. I don't want to place Him in a box and every service open the lid and say," ALLO ALLO! Yah.. so at the 7th song, and the 3rd line.. You can come out and touch us all.. Yah.. I knew You were planning to do that."..

Heal God heal. Fix God fix. Mend God mend. Speak God speak. God..be God.
Amen.

Not by might Nor by power
But by My Spirit
Says the Lord of hosts

This mountain shall be moved
This mountain shall be moved
This mountain shall be moved
By My Spirit
Says the Lord

Just thought of an oldie. Hmmm.. super headache right now. Pain.
Anyways, last night was a freaky one man. Hahaha.. i had to like msg someone like so late to ask for prayer. And not enough. I woke my mom up to pray with me.

I had a bad dream. It was not really scary.. i mean, I'm the king of dreams-- usually always have dreams when i sleep. So i brushed this dream off. But suddenly fear just gripped me. Goosebumps? Repeated goosebumps.. wah.. Whether or not the dream was a spiritual thing or just tiredness, it was still freaky. Anyways, my mom prayed for me.. I prayed myself. And rebuked and rebuked and just reminded myself of my authority and position in Christ. Then immediately after the prayer, things became alot better.

Hehehe... ok. Well.. God help me.

Why,we ask. Why,we wonder. Why,I ask. Why,I wonder. I know I'm not. But God Knows who and what.
Amen.

There is no glory in my own wisdom
There is no power in my own strength
There is no might in my own riches
But I will boast in knowing You

For You are high and lifted up
The glory of all nations
You are high and lifted up
The Lord of all the earth
You are high and lifted up
Creator Redeemer
And I will boast in knowing You.

Another oldie.. but pretty nice song. I love it when shirley leads.. but abit don't know how to sing the old songs sometimes. Hahah.. nonetheless, her leading is so fun!!

Stinking blogskin. HAve this funny A letters ard, do you guys see it? Aiyah, change another time, can't fix it lei. Hmm... K ANYWAYS..

Today, hmmm.. tired.Tired.Tired. Hahah.. yah, but i went to evening prayer. Hahah, i wasn't exactly tired during prayer. Thought it was very fun. Okay, haha.. why its fun? It just is loh..

Well.. we went to sunshine place after that.. hahaha.. actually, really nothign to write today. Just, Thank You God for giving me today! Help sch to pass fast tmr. then drag my weekend for long long long!!!

Hehehe.. I'm abit bored. There's no one online to talk to. Hmmm.. I love my God. And my bed. Hahha.. NO MAN CAN SERVE 2 MASTERS.
Well.. today's entry is not a very spiritual entry..but well, God is Good. ALWAYS.
Amen. (see? i still can end with amen..hahah)

I re-did my blog! What.. erm.. eeeky colours. Hehe..

Anyways, not that i really care.. may revert to my old one though, used to that.

I was made to praise You
I was made to glorify Your name
In every circumstance
To find a chance to thank You

I was made to love You
I was made to worship at Your feet
And to obey You Lord
I was made for You.

Nice song huh? We were made for Him. Everypart of our life. Its no longer ours. It's His. So that He may lift us up to be with Him. So we may resonate His glory.

Today as i was coming out of the MRT station, tapping my card, there was an error msg. And that caused a few sec delay to the whole queue of ppl behind me. It was solved very quickly.. But as i was leaving, a thought came to mind.

What if because of my delay, a short few seconds one, the lady behind me missed her bus. Would she blame me for missing her bus? I thot.. and figured, most prob no. She would just think she should have been faster, but wouldn't blame me. But technically speaking, because of me and my card's error, i delayed her and caused her to miss her bus.

She didn't miss her bus.. not that i bothered to check it out. But i was thinking WHAT IF?

That moment, Pam Seaward's sermon made sense. Its the smallest things that hinder. The things that are so small and seemingly insignificant that hinder us. IF tt woman had missed her bus, it would have been because of me. But she wouldn't have thot of that.

Same here.. Are we over-looking small things that we think, "Aiyah, small matter, not a big deal...". One very good eg is the thots that we have.. some negative thots.. we need to rebuke. But are we just letting them, "pass by"? It's not easy to rebuke. Its discipline. I can't do it also.. very very often. But always rmb, don't overlook the small things.

Small things, simple things.. its all about the attitude of our heart. Is it right before the Almighty??

I don't know how direct this entry may sound.. but.. hahaha, seriously, its a menace. The small thorns and weeds that ppl over look. God give us grace and vision. Your vision. Be blessed ppl!!
Amen.

This I'll testify
Till I see it with my eyes
Your word is true my God
You cannot lie.....

......My faithful God
My faithful God
My faithful God......

Today i did corporate slides!! I'm a corporate loser.. hahah..nah. Anyways,learnt quite abit-- the power of the freeze button! Heheh.. quite badly done lah, i really admit, not trying to gain sympathy. Haha.. but it was fun. My first duty of the year and as a big Gp!!

Anyways, da ge, esther tan and i had to go samuel's bday party. We decided to eat Bk. But something happened on the train. Sighz.. hahha.. must have been such a disappointment to my da ge and er jie. Hahahahahha.. so silly..

Nee-ways.. we went his house, nice. Came back to bb mac's. We were talking about stuff, and we reached the topic of childhood. Somehow, i felt such a tinge of them wanting to go back to old times. I looked back. And i saw God's grace in my life. Some areas where i don't know how i managed to live through.. i did. (that's why i'm here typing now, duh.)

I sort of understand why ppl want to go back to old times. Cause those were times where we like lived so simply. Everything just depend on parents. Everything laid out. But now we can STILL have a more matur-itised version of that. Dependance on God. God said it is easier for a camel to pass thru the eye of a needle than ppl without childlike faith trying to get into heaven.. something like that.

Childlike faith in God.
We had carefree lives then because of tt kind of faith in tmr. That tmr would be a better day and that our parents would be able to solve any problem for us.Naive? That was us.

Now.. we shld have the same kind of faith.. not in 'tmr's.. but in Him. Not SO MUCH in our parents (we trust them still.. but realise they can't repent for us.) But in our HEAVENLY Father. I'm not saying a smooth and trouble-less life will follow.. But.. My hope is in the name of the Lord, where my help comes from, when my strength comes from..

Childlike faith. I want to bless some specific ppl with this entry. God loves you. I love you. Be bold and strong. Be faithful.
Amen.

This is everything I want
This is everything I need
I want You to be my One consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord I want it all to be for You
I want it all to be for You

I want it all to be for Him....... This is my cry, my one desire, just to be with Him.. hahah.. 2 songs in one entry.. wait till i find that song then i use..

Hmmmm.. how should i put it? My God IS good. Joel got a word.. Jessie wanting to come to morn prayer also.. its how amazing God can use a few ppl who were willing to pray for their friends and change the spiritual atmosphere..and their friends come.. and pray for other friends who come also. Think about how it can affect the unsaved waiting for us..

I got my wallet back.. by the grace of God. Thank You Daddy!! Okay.. lookingback yesterday during net koinonia.. God has really fulfilled some of my 2oo3 resolutions.
I'm glad. I am. I'm amazed. I am. I'm blown away. I am.

Wow.. 2oo3 has been good. But if there's anything I learnt from morn prayer today.. its not to rely on past experiences.. That's the reason we don't move on. Always thinking for God, always expecting Him to move in ways we're familiar with. Move on.. yeah.. those experiences are mind-boggling sure. But he never called us to a monotonous life. He called us to an exciting life.. He is a creative God. Don't limit His creativity.

I'm thankful. Especially for the ppl and wisodm he brought into my life in 2oo3.. So many. Elvin the da ge, esther tan and foong, my chief, onnointed oon...much much more.Some played really really big parts. Some minor parts. but I'm thankful for all. But Now our youth ministry seems to be one. That's His plan for us. To be one effective people.
Amen.

I can't think of a song.

I will not pretend to feel the pain you're going through
I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you've known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood
But now I just don't know

But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees

And if you need to cry go on and I, I will cry along with you, yeah
I've given you what I have but still I know the best thing I can do
Is just pray for you

I want to carry people to You. Give me big hands Lord.
I want to feel their hurting and carry them to You. Give me a big heart Lord.
I want to forgive. Give me Your heart Lord.
I want to see beyond the worthlessness of this world and to look to you. Give me eyes for only you.
I want to be able to listen to them. Give me big ears and a willing spirit.

I want to be carried by You. I want to be held in Your arms. I want to listen to You. I want to see the things You see. Amen.

Jealousy? Vainity? Pride? These tear down the body of Christ. When you see it.. sometimes it hurts sooooo much.. and sometimes you do it too.. and it hurts more. That's how much God hurts when He sees it. Forgive me Lord and give me the grace.
Amen.

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a wittness in the silences
Where words are not enough

With every breath I take
I'll give thanks to God above
For as i long i shall
I will testify to love

Nice. Went for morning prayer again today. i think the dynamics of morning prayer is expanding.. with the many ppl coming. For me, its esp the youth that touches my heart. Truely the whole atmosphere changes when a group of passionate youths come before God.

Really think I'm getting blur-er. Like how arh? ARGHHHHHH..

Thinking back on this morning.. its pretty cool how God shows up. How? How? How?
Because He is. Because He is. Because He is the great I AM.

Raging. Sweeping. Tempest. Rushing. Towering. Overpowering. Mist. Clouded. Twirling. Kneeling. Crying. Looking.

He is the great I AM. I don't know how. I don't know why. But He IS the great I AM.
Amen.
---
Was reading some of my guestbook entries just. Who is the FRIEND.. I want to know who you are. I do want to. =)
who is me? Unless you tell me i wouldn't know who you are.

His name is exalted, far above the earth
His name is high above the heavens
His name is exalted, far above the earth
Give glory and honor and praise
Unto His name

No other name but the name of Jesus
No other name but the name of the Lord
No other name but the name of Jesus
Is worthy of glory and worthy of honor
And worthy of power and all praise

Went morning prayer today. Woke up pretty early.. by the grace of God. Haha.. today my prayer focus like totally changed. Actually, going to morning prayer.. i don't really know what to pray for. But i love to go. And God always bring stuff back to me to pray for.

Today.. i prayed for people. As in just pray for them loh.. never go to them. And i totally like just lie on the floor with my hands behind my hand kinda thing.. and talked to God. Feels good.

God is good amen? We went for breakfast at Bukit Timah.. beside my old school!! The food there is just excellent. Uncle Boyle just kept stuffing food down our throats. Hahah.. the adults all think we should eat more then what we are eating now. I eat until my stomach expanded. Hopefully will revert.

Been seeing God's providence.. Thank You God.. Truly no other name. No other name.

Okay... so all the old songs are coming back to me. Though that da ge was commenting about how uncle george always plays old songs like," Jesus You're my firm foundation..".. I still think some old songs are really nice and if done properly.. can be really really nice.. or nicer in some cases..

A very very good example is my ultimate ou xiang---- Not elvin though.. SHIRLEY SIM!!! She is soooooooooooooo good!!

The way she did "To Him who sits on the throne, and unto the Lamb..." and "You are God, and we praise You..." was like........ HEAVENLY!!!!!

God gives us all a different talent.. And all of it helps grow his kingdom. This was what i saw this morning. I saw individuality in the sanctuary.. but it was merged as one. The sight was really nice. Individuality merged as one.. weaved as one.. forged as one. One for God. One for the kingdom. One for His glory.

Let us be one for Him..And one with Him..
Amen.

You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Oh blessed be the name...
And i dunno the lyrics already. Today. WOW. God blows my mind.

Okay.. I don't know where to start. Guess i should say what was the most impacting thing for me today.

It was when we had to look back at this year, during worship ministry party, and think bout wad God has done.I looked back on this year.. and i saw a real big change. It wasn't easy.. the change didn't come by easy. The tears.. the e-mails.. the painful decisions.. the embarressing choices.. the prayers.. the promises.

So much i went through. So much ppl around me went thru. One very obvious and good example is my da ge. He went thru alot of me.. before the breakthru came. my chief is another good example. She went thru alot of icq msges. Both spent alot alot alot alot of time on me.. many of these times they actually wasted their energy..

But it all paid off. I look at my life now.. and i get freaked out.. WOW. I dun even believe sometimes its me. GOD did all the planning. The 'pot' had to go thru fire to be hardened and able to use. GOD used them to change me.. Seriously.. i don't dare to believe wad i am now is me.

GOD has done so much for me.. and this year has been such a testing and exciting year.. I'm thankful. ALL GLORY TO GOD. Though there's stil alot more to go.. GOD HAS BEEN, AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE, GOOD AND GOD.
Amen.

Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste, Of Glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior
All the day long

This song has been in my head for like few days now.Suddenly all the old songs coming back to me.

Went for morning prayer today.. wow.. after so long.. it sure feels weird abit. More or less the ppl coming are the same.. with a few additions and a few subtractions.

Today.. I prayed for et. Nope.. not esther tan.. but east timor. Was reading her blog just and i understand what she means abit.

As i was praying.. i thought i would be praying like.. a singaporean kind of prayer.. as in.. since-i'm-not-there-anymore..I-wouldn't-be-as-moved-as-i-was-in-east-timor kind of thing. BUT i was so over taken by the feelings i got as i prayed.

Literally its like being there and praying and feeling the burden so real and its like east timor ground is under your feet and the east timor air is blowing in your face and the locals are just in front of you. The prayer was as emotional as when i was in east timor.. if not more emotional.

Definately not something i expected.

Not trying to lament again that i miss east timor.. But I'm shocked at how i could still pray so emotionally for that place despite being back for like 1 over week now. And i know its not me. Its God. Oh kay.. I also have to admit that I'm shocked at how NOT-shocked i was still being so emotional. I really have no words to describe.. don't know how to put into words.

As i prayed for timor.. once again my problems seemed so distant and small and i felt so close to timor. Like said.. i felt as though i was in east timor itself. And i understand abit bout the outward looking part. As i closed my eyes and saw east timor before me.. all my problems were......." Where art thou?? where art thou problems of the one called desmonde..?

God uses east timor to show me that my problems don't matter as much as God's work, as God's glory, as GOD does. Not our petty problems.I'm not saying they are not real.. but He's God. He solves stuff. Let God be God.

It's ALL about Him.
Amen.

If there's anything that 'wow's me today.. it has to be this..
anyways..Blessed Christmas!! to my dear readers.

Okay.. this is it.. Our drama.. Sharon all along was alittle stiff for her role-- the crying role. If i should even put it like that.. she was restrained.. All along. In the rehearsals and practices, she was very stiff. And you could see she was trying very very hard, but she just couldn't get it.

But today, she gave a superb performance. So much emotion that we in the props (nursery) room were so shocked. When she came in she cried, " Do you know God was with me?!?!" Crying crying crying.. And i was totally caught off guard.

"Do you know God was with me?"

WOW.To me, it was like God just took control and taught her on the spot. And i believe she must have prayed so much and she must have been so broken before Him that He took over and said, "Daughter.. I'll be in control." And at that moment, I felt that today is one day where she touched the hands of the Almighty.. and this day will be a day she will not forget.I feel she cried because she was so shocked that God could use her. The first words she said when she came in still gives me goosebumps. It was NOT " Thank God I did it well!!!!!"... BUT "Do you know God is with me!?!!?!"

"Do you know God is with me?"

I saw how sad she looked when she couldn't get it and i know she must have cried to Him, She must have cried to Him saying, " I don't know what to do, but i choose to do still because I love you. Because you loved me."

For me personally,I want to be broken before Him. I want to place my all on the altar. I want to say,"God i have not much, but what i have whether or not i know what it is, i want to give You so You can use and You will magnify it..... ALL.. for Your glory."

For all those lost, unsure, uncertain, hurting, questioning and crying ppl...
"Do you know God is with you?"
Amen.

I'm really starting not to understand already..

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning
New every morning
Great is Thy faithfulness oh Lord
Great is Thy faithfulness

I'm back. Since like one week ago.

Very very lazy to update.. think most of us are really burnt out from blogging.. no new entries whatsoever.. Frankly speaking.. I'm alittle too tired sometimes to go read.

Anyways, east timor was more than good. It was more than very good. It was more than that too..

I miss east timor. Dreadfully. But of coz the times here in sg were exciting for some of our friends as well. Really glad that the youths are so excited... man.. never seen them like this before.

Can a nation be moved?
Can a nation be saved?
Can a nation be turned back to You?

Can it be turned, back to You?

Haha.. Im sorry. I'm just like.. trying to relive the times in east timor. The prayers at the Jesus Statue.. so many other times.. the times we were having fun..(beach), the times we slogged (fun fair).. the times we just lazed around. Our debrief times.. Our lazing around times, Our journaling times, our washing up times. The times we were just playing around. Our times.

Think God gave out his instructions out there.. all anew and afresh. I'm still expecting. Expecting Him move however He did there, here... and better..

I'm expecting, excited.. and expecting here does NOT mean pregnant!! Unless you mean with a whole new passion and expectancy of God..

East Timor......... Be blessed, Be loved.
Team mates...... I love you guys.. alot alot alot.
God................... Don't ever think I'm done with You or vice versa. I need You soooo much..breath on me.

WOAH. God is Good.

Youth camp. Evryone is updating.. it'll be malu-ing if the blogger freak doesn't update too.

It was awesome.. I know God moved. Throughout everynite-everyday-every session.I don't know where to begin.

I went camp with a really really despo enthu heart. Its one of the first youth camps that i looked forward to. I expected so much.. i prayed for everyone and myself.. Just kept praying for God to move. No credit to me.. but God did move. So many of us can testify.

For me.. camp was okay. I had great team members-- not too wild, but enthu enough. I had duties.. 3. None of which were carried out completely. Although all of which i worried for.

This camp..if i dare to say.. was one of the most testing and breaking camp i've had.
And also the best.I didn't get a break thru as i expected in camp. No big revelation.. heard a voice which i don't even know if its God. Funnily the Bible says, "His sheep know His voice...."

But i knew God moved. I saw it. Thru others.. thru how every session took place... especially the last night. And thru Joel.. like my dai kor says.

This camp.. again God made me feel stuff bout others.. I duno if its God lah.. maybe its just me.. but.. there was one sessin i prayed for someone.. and i just felt his pain and hurting.. and i was crying.. I dunno if its him or me.. but i really didn't have a need to cry lah.. not at tt point at least. Just like the previous camp where i only heard for others.. not for me.

But i was sooo bitter when i went to the previous camp.. and i got my break thru at the last day. This year's camp.. i went with such an expectant heart.. But up till the last session.. I didn't.I felt so lost. Somehow i would miss part of the sessions or miss out on this or that.. till the point i was so fustrated. I just forced myself to try to focus.. to try not to say negative things.. to work myself like mad so i wouldn't have to think of why God seemed to skip me again.

I wanted to ask ppl to pray for me.. but.. then i realised if i did.. then i would be looking to man. Not God. I didn't go with baggages.. but i took up some as camp went on. ARGHHHHH!!!! But God still has everything in His hands. I thank God for making elvin so busy. Not tt I want him to be so busy.. but rather.. Becoz he was sooo busy.. He didn't have time to talk with me.. and i had no choice but to run directly to God. God is good isn't it?

I did so many stooopid things.

I did get part of my confirmation though. I really don't know how to say... there's just sooooo much. I guess i should say.. I saw God move in others.. maybe at times He used me to facilitate His moving in others.. But somehow.. PERSONAlly..for me personally..like not much.

Thruout the camp.. i didn't knwo to laugh or cry.. I mean.. it was like i was stille xpectant tt God would do the same thing as He did for me the prev camp.. make me kan chiong until the last session till He blows my mind away. But this camp He didn't.

I got part of my confirmatn as i said-- its something tt i didn't really expect.
I was crazy for God-- Coz i know He rules.

Okay.. i know Im being v negative here.. but seriously.. camp was good.. in every aspect.. games.sessions.

But it was really difficult for me.The last session i took out my name tag card (with the words camp committee printed in red on it, strangely) and just slotted in my bible-- randomly.. It was already the last session, prize giving.

Then we went back... i felt partly filled.And i was contemplating going to esther house.. which in the end i did.

Cut the story short... When esther and esther were not jacuzzing.. and joel was reading his prize for the best dressed. SUDDENLY.. as in literally SUDDENLY I rmbed my namecard and the slot.. so I decided I would read.. half hoping it would speak to me. And it was about Daniel and the messenger and the prince of persia that one.. (Dan Chap 1o.)

That immediately spoke to me about persisting. And at tt pt of time i was also brought back to during the camp when God reminded me about the persisting woman with the issue of blood. And somehow.. i still don't know.. but i guess.. God's training me to be patient.. to be silent.. and also somehow confirms wad i asked.

Abit confusing i know.. hahaha.. sorry.. But.. ask me in person pls. Easier to explain the goodness of God in this camp.. though in a way that is so different from the others. Anyone.. have anythign to say please leave notes.. coz Im still open and expecting that thru persisting.. Thru the grace of God.. Thru His love.. I will get wad i wanted--- Direction and confirmation.

AMEN.

Heya PPl!! Camp after tmr.. so fast huh?

Okay.. well.On fri we went Msia. A p3 outing with the er jie.. hahaha... so funny so funny.. estehr brought joel and me (as we waited for john) to padini.. SOOO BIG... we walked so many rounds couldn't find anything.. then esther passed us a few shirts to try.. and from that moment on we began to find alot of stuff and we just kept trying. hahah..we just took the last 2 dressing rooms for our own trying pleasure.. ahhaha..

then john arrived and we continue in padini awhile more.. ahahh.. then we went lunch, then went to john's mom childcare.. then back to shop!! this time we went OP.

At first we were like bored bored one.. everyone tired already..but we realise 20% discount. Hahaha.. we went in also abit cautious. However, when we tried our first shirt, this salesgirl was really good man.. She doesn't look like lah.. but she was so friednly.. she totally hyped us up. That was the climax of the trip man.. we were NUTS..

Just trying shirt after shirt after shirt.. and she's commenting about us.. ahhah.. there were 3 dressing rooms.. the 4 of us just hogged it. And we kept swapping shirts to try.. the P3 lah.. and the different sizez and all.. We even took a photo in front of everyone and when we hadn't paid for our shirt.. hahah... good thing we bought it in the end.

Well... the salegirl left for lunch.. the other ppl not as nice.. anyways.. we have similar shirts! hahah.. okay that was fri.. we rushed back to my home for divisional meeting.. then i rushed out after to stay over.. So cool!! Can i stay over again?!?!

Well... today sunday.. i was small gp. hahah.. so cool.. su linn Gp. Hahah.. pretty fun. Wah.. busy day. Climax was at afternoon.. like 4 ppl talking to me at the same time. I was pretty mean lah.. every time i get irritated my mouth becomes motormouth.. start with my sacarstic remarks. Very bad.. still can't control tt well.

Anywas.. we went estehr foong's house after tt to watch vcd.. so cool. I love it.. the passion. Man.. God.. blow us away in camp!!! Anyways.. after tt we all napped--girls in esther foong's room and john and i in living room. Though i didn't get much sleep. Terrible headache.. hahah..

Anyways.. i was in pretty terrible state. I was highly irritatable.. with myself.. Dinner was okay.. hahaha.. alot more lah.. but then too much to type.. summary? God is GOOD. You better believe it.. you better expect. Camp's going to be awesome.

Operation Destructo Oso Has fulfilled its purpose. Oso is gone-so. Just like that.
GOD IS STINKING GOOD!! WHo rocks? He does.. Who rocks? He does!! Hey God whoo hah hah! Woo hah hah!!

Okay.. this is a gratitude list. Here goes.. and the emmy goes to..(Alphabatical order or at least i try)

GOD. -- He has given me so much peace. So much help.He is THE man.. He rocks. He's awesome. He really made things work out. He honors you. He never gives up on you.And He just keeps speaking to you. WOW!

Angel -- She and her gut feeling of my papers.. Arh.. thank you for noticing my papers.. really encouraging to know ppl DO use the timetables i send out.

Blogger family -- Thanks for putting up with my long entries as i de-stress during my study breaks. Hhaha.. which are like.. forever?You've guys been awesome.. thanks for praying. Which i am giving the benefit of the doubt.

Da Ge -- The one who i think suffered the most during this period with me and BECAUSE of me. Hahah.. sorry.. for the late night ," Da ge, pray for me yah.. i'm scared.." msges amongst other types of msg.. Thank you for your daily prayers..Thank you for trusting I studied when no one did. Thank you for putting up with an over reacting Siao di! You are the most awesome da ge!!Love you soo much..(eeeee.. Yes.. I'm mushy.. I realised too). He also having his papers.. pray yah? * Bows and say, "Thank you dai kor. I'm so grateful I could cry." Bows again.*

Esther tan aka Er jie -- She has been such a support, always making sure i study, and msg me at times to cheer me on. Think she has been faithfully praying for all the os students.. not only me.She rocks..

Esther Wong -- She's another one who prayed alot too. I think lah! thank you!! She's having papers.. rmb her in prayers.

Esther Foong -- "Study when you have the chance to brother.." Hahah.. thank you esther.. she has been jia you-ing me alot.. really appreciate it.So sweet right? Stay happy yah?

Eric Loh -- This guy.. really at times i really wanted to cry because of him. So strict.. to the extent there was one time i felt so terrible.Didn't tell anyone..save God.But it was then i realised eric's concern. He opens his house, teaches us, worrys for us.Thank God for eric. Okay.. its abit emotional coz i'm missing him already!

Fellow O students -- Thank them for being worried!! Hahah.. They have been a blessing.. saw how we supported each other and studied. So blessed by them. Especially Joel.. was so blessed that day by his action.. not to me.. but the decision he made.Thank you.Pray for them, some still have papers.

Jason Oon -- My ultimate "You should be at home studying" machine. He just reminds me to study, but in a nice light hearted way. And he keeps counting down for me. Really perks you up. Superblous guy. =)

Qiu Yi aka Chief -- Another emotional thank you coz i miss her. She has been wonderful. She also knows what paper i take and i know she prays for me.She just spurs me on with sms every time she arranges net meeting.Thank you man..I miss you Chief! *Salutes*

Whoever else who has been praying.Thank you If i missed you out.No ill intention.

....As they sailed he fell asleep.A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.....He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm....

...A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped..... He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!".Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.....

.....Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat....He replied," You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves and it was completely calm....

Be still. Be still. Be still.

For those of you worrying out there. Be still.

For those of you questioning out there. Be still.

For those of you that are all drained out. Be still.

For those of you weeping, crying, tearing out there. Be still.

For those of you busy in your work. Be still.

Be still and know that I am God.

Amen.
---
Yes.. yes.. i realised that somehow alot of these words can be seen in my da ge's blog.Arghh.. I'm really not trying to copyright. But.. i was.. asking God just now. What do i do? And He brought me to this passage. I didn't realise that it was so similar to the da ge's blog until i went over to read. I'm not trying to poach customers. But..its Godly timing is it? Hahah. more like conincidence.But nevertheless... its time i be still.

Tah DAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Another entry..

I'm writing this in the midst of my study break. Woke up today ready to go to sch, and i checked my entryproof before leaving the house. Not something that i always do.. but thank God!!! Because i realised my paper in the afternoon.. God is SOOOOO good... so i could sleep to 8.3o, then study till 10. (Now's 10.25am). And i finished highlighting my whole chap. BIG chap!! hahahah..

Well.. I shall resume my studying in awhile; tighten up my chaps abit!!

Okay.. this 4 days? God has simply blown my mind away. I'm telling you.. He is so good i can't stand it!!! ahahah...NO.. i mean...ARGHHHHHH.. GOD YOU ARE AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!!!!!

hahah... well on fri we had combined net with eric. I was supposed to do praise and esther tan worship.. but eric started with this really 'worship' tune. I didn't know how to start my praise.. so i went.."erm..we'll pray before we start!! Daniel pray!!".

Hahah.. so daniel prays this really 'worship' kind of prayer.. and wow!! after the prayer we decide that we should just go into worship. Saves me the trouble. Well.. God kept speaking and impressing stuff on our hearts.. and daniel and esther both just prayed and spoke what they felt God was saying. And it was awesome!!!!!

God showed up.And the gist of it was.. he's re-focusing us. He's bringing us back to the basics.. that was what he kept nudging me about the whole week. Even at the edge.. "REFOCUS REFOCUS. GOD SHOULD BE FIRST GOD SHOULD BE FIRST".

Not strange we have all the ppl speaking of true worship. Joy, Elvin, Jason,other different ones.. True worship!! God's wanting to bring us back. He's calling us back. Its as if He's saying," I have need for vessels who would be set apart to be holy. For i deserve all worship."

For if we DON't give Him our worship, the rocks would cry out!!! Because He deserves it. Because He deserves it. Because its what we have to do.Because its what we need to do.

AMEN.

Okay.. going back to my geog.. continue praying for me ppl.. I have papers till wed. The other O students have until fri. Pray for them too. Jen and Dage also have exams pray for them too!! Esther wong too.

AMEN!

FINALLY!!!!!!! I can blog. Have been waiting all day!! Hahaha.. crazy right me? Oh well.. let's just move on..shhh.. don't tell ppl okay? Its OUR secret.. you tell ppl i don't friend you.. and i call my friends not to friend you and i call my friends' friends not to friend you.

hahaha.. get what i mean when i say i'm crazy? Okay.. come.. let's seriously go on.

Yah...OH!! YAH!! my dreams.. okay. you have to understand my dreams to me are very very real.. when i wake up.. i will remain in them for awhile.. like the last time i dreamt someone scolded me.. i woke up feeling so sad.. and i was trying to rmb why, and i realised because it happened in my dream. Something like that lah..don't know whether its normal..do you guys feel the same way? then maybe its not only me. hahaha..

Also, my dreams come in episodes.Like on mon i will dream of this. And on tue i will dream of the same thing, but in the dream, its another day in the same place.And i almost always have dreams. Very tiring.

Then my dreams are mostly bout about shopping centres, big buildings and me walking about in them. But my places will look more big and magnificient. For example, cck will look different and bigger and niccer, but i will KNOW it is cck building.

Haha.. and they are normally the same ppl in my dream.. my dinner kah kia. Always see them.Hahah.. opps. SIDETRACK. Okay, wanted to say my dream on wed was like.. ahhah. commical. I had a horse!!! And esther tan.. you have one too!! Hahah.. yours belongs to someone esle.. he lent you. Can't rmb who. think da ge.

Anyways.. we were eating in JE, then we had to leave for interchange. So i get my horse( Which btw was a present from the producers of LOTR, after their filming.) and i ride to interchange before the rest of the ppl-- dage, esther, joel, a few more..

And i CAN"T steer the poor horse!!!So i keep bumping his head into walls, signboards, the MRT column pillar!!!So poor thing.. ( because i don't play daytona!!!).

So as im riding, i meet joash who shouts to Jonathan that his bday party is still on. And i rmb (from the prev dream episode) that there's this murderer killing us. and he only appears in places with alot of ppl, so jonathan don't want a party. A few ppl already died liao.. sad right?? ahhaha.. from our youth.Hahaha.. oh well.

Anyways.. i ride to the interchange and when i'm there, esther tan SAYS.. hey.. the murdererer is here!!So calmly.. and me? I ride off quickly.. thankful that the masked man cannot chase me as i'm on shadowfax, the fastest horse there is in middle earth. I hide for awhile.. before i wake up.. HAhaha... so silly.

There you have it.. my dream.. sorry so long.. next time i practise 160 words summary okay?Hahah.. sorry. And, esther.. you have a nice horse!!! but not as fast as mine lah.. hehehehhe..

God is good. So good. So very very good.

We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy
Is the lamb.

Went morn prayer!! Yay yay yay!! Want to go tmr again.. though pls don't scold me.. i know i need to study-- Eric Loh's good at the reminding part. Sighz.. sometimes i don't know if i'm being silly...

Okay.. Anyways.. God is good. God IS good. Morning prayer blew my mind away.. the things he reveals.. hmmm.. man.Somehow.. i wonder if we have defiled God's idea of worship. I wonder if we have perverted His holiness. I wonder if we have destroyed his courts when we enter so blatantly. Its by grace that we enter.. have we forgotten? We pollute it with our self righteousness and pride.. we neglect the fact that we are NOTHING before the Most High.. and it was because He first chose us that we are given this special privilege.We come in so casually we forget we are meeting a King... OUR King. I'm guilty of that God.

Argh.. God!! Okay okay.. i have 4 more days.. 4 more days of exams.. which means.. 1 more week counting the breaks!! Praise God!! He has sustained me.. so long and will continue to do so. Sighz.. man God.. You are so awesome.. what to say?

Chem's on fri.I have today and tmr to study. Please pray ppl!! My chem's not very good!! But my God IS!!

Hahah.. yah.. SO (sorry sidetrack).. we went Mac's to eat after prayer!! Not really filling lei.. wanted to eat somemore.. but they all want to go home. Hahaha.. but i no money also.. have lah.. but.. must save for tmr!! hahah.. I dunno where all the cash fly to leh!! I'm hardly ever broke one.. that's why jason and da ge always say i rich!!! Arh arh arh.. whatever.......i wish i was too!! arh.. the spoils of being rich and wealthy..imagine the amount of burgers i could buy!! Then i can cab to morning prayer!! And i can .. wad can i do?? I can.. opps.. haha.. pay tithes!!

Hehehe.. okk okk.. study study study!! Which means Jennifer and Elvin!! Stop reading now and go study!! Hahaha.. opps.. i really no big no small.. cannot talk to dai kor like that!

Sorry dai kor. Anything you say dai kor.

STUDY! YAY! Sleep first. Chief says i sleep very little for my age.... oh well.. to infinity and beyond!

Hehehe!! Sorry dear bloggers, i realised i didn't blog yesterday.. though by my one-entry-every-2-days habit, i should have. Hahaha.. arh.. who cares..

Anyways.. hahah.. yesterday was such a funny day. I was on gp.. not Gp. You'll figure the diff after awhile..haha.. so.. wah.. my Gp not around, and i wasn't expecting to do alone.. so abit the messy.. Sorry Worship Leader.. who was it? Shirley? No no.. hahah.. its the one and only.....Bro FOOng!! Holy and annointed one... hahah.. arh.. blasphemy..

Okay.. then worship prac.. eric was so scientific.. bu kui is scholar.. all the bio terms.Supposed to practise voice projection..(nah.. not astral projection..prue's dead.WAH!!... no wait.. YAY!!)

Yah... fun lah.. but I'm the only guy.. so elvin was saying can he hear me distinctively. Well.. just to tell you hor da ge.. I can hear me too.. this super bass voice.WAHHHHH... hahah.. oh well..NEXT!!

Next was service.. hahah. was so tired.. and sleepy.. studied to 2 something the day before.. together with *ATTENTION!!* Chief!!Hahaha..

Okay.. so we went BK to eat after that!! Thanks to me!!! hahah..i was so insistent, "but there wouldn't be any seats in the food court!!"... ahha.. so chief relented. Da ge!!! You have this siao di to thank okay.. if not you'll be eating food court food again.

Hahah..and during dinner, someone asks me," How come you don't have to study?".. and he asked so innocently.. i was so speechless.. haha.. but yah man.. hahah..

Heheh.. actually, i'm really wating to write bout my amaths paper today.. but i sidetrack so much. ahhah.. okay.. next time lah.Summary-- God is gOOd!!!

Another entry.. wah.. thoughts are running wild!! So many things i'm thinking of but not one I'm focused on. Flying everywhere!! Okay Okay.. attention!! Back in position!!

Okay.. update abit. RMB Operation Destructo OsO? Well.. half the battle is won. 2 more weeks, continue praying ppl! God is really good.. i mean.. He really helped in my exams.A very brief summary is that, the very few chaps i studied, came out. Thank God. Praise God!! You stinking RULE!! 1o points 1o points!! (When i get it,its really God loh.. 1o points is pretty much imposible for me.. but..i still like 1o points for Os. Sounds so cool.. hahah.Faith faith.)

Okay.. anyways.. MANHATTAN IS MINE!! Seen that ad anyone? So funny.. haha..
You know what? It serves as a reminder.. that SINGAPORE IS MINE.. IS OURS.. IS CHRIST'S.. just to re-focus some of you and myself (definately)..=)

Next on list.. let me think.Okay... Chief's lesson was superb man.. I tink it was great..(Appluase.. and i mean it.Ok... why aren't you clapping?). Love. WOW! His love.. so wide. Such simple love for us. No strings attached.. if i shld say.. such Childlike Love.. as it is with faith. WOW. Thanks God. What measure of love You have given us.

Ok. I'll expand next time. Really cannot rmb wad i wanted to write? Was it the above? Oh well.. my memory is failing... wait.. is this blogger? Or blooger? Oh yah.. Bloggur.. I mean.. blogger.

The I-love-morning-prayers Entry.

Hahah..tired.. when i'm tired my entries become longer.Okee okee.. Thank you thank you for the lift!

Oh OH! Who is my annomynous (Is tt how you spell it?) note leaver? I can make a wild guess but you cannot like that to me ok?Hahaha.. do tell who you are.. Can sense in the force you have lots more to say.Oh kay.. thank you.. really appreciate it. You saw stuff i didn't realise...

Okay.. Really already now. I went morn prayer today!!!! SO happy happy happy!! Hahah. thank you for the lift, (please pass on msg dai kor sir).. sorry sorry for the trouble (please relay msg da ge sir!).

I promised Someone i will go one.. so i went.. and I'm glad i did. This time i was reminded of Birth Pains*. (*Is it? I can't rmb wad i was reminded of already. BAD BAD BAD memory)

I was also reminded of the postion we hold in Christ. Of coz not much reminding for tt one. *smiles cheekily, He can attest to the noise I've been making.*

Okay.. Hahahah.. so sis helen was talking bout praying for the Spirit to work extra hard for her daughter's Mother Tongue exam i think. And Uncle George went " The Spirit can only speak Father Tongue.. not Mother Tongue.. "

hahahhahahaha.... so funny.. I'm telling you.. this ppl are like.. so hilarious.. not to mention the amount of Godly wisdom they can offer.. I was pretty blessed by the breakfast after morn prayer. Hahaha.. i didn't eat though! (See Chief? I'm not binge-ing). hahah.. actually.. coz i didn't have money already.. only $1.20 left for the next few days. *Hint Hint, esp my dage.. My allowance please!=)*

But it was a suplendous time. The things God can do.WOW.Okay.. back to studying! Or rather snoozing. Good Morning everyone!! Hahahah..

" It's an addiction!!!", cried the child, as he say crossed-legged in the forts of his maroon-coloured chair. The persistant cryings of the television barked into his ears, but he was oblivious to it.

His insistent manner was evident. It was visible and obvious. Then he paused, quietened down, and leaned back, finding respite in the noises that rose around him. How? one might ask. It was because they had simmered down to but repeated nudges to his imagination-- he was ignorant to their assending bellowing and instead took them as part and parcel of his little neighbourhood.

He rode upon the noises, letting loose his wild thoughts; It was an addiction..He finally decided. Desmond finally decided.

Its an addiction to blogging every 2 days, very naturally, not on purpose one!!!!!!!! Hahahahhahah... heheh.. sorry.. i don't think its an addiction actually lah... today's post is practising for english paper tmr. I'm worried abit loh.. cause esther says my compo is like...wah.. hahaha..horizontal straight line graph with decreasing gradient. In english.. it means.. boring.. And she's not the first. Hahah.. I agree lah.. its quite bad. Even my teacher says my stories are too neat and predictable.

Help ME!!! God!!!! Hahahha.. okay.. sister tan also says my entries too long. Okay loh.. i try to cut short. But i can't restrain myself.

Seriously.. anyone has tips? Da ge? Please call me or leave notes. Or do something.. panic panic panic.. hahah.. not really lah.Just want to add spice into my compo. Clover, pepper. Whatever! (Rhymed right? Man..i'm good. OKAY maybe not..hahaha)

Back to studying the educatations of socialitities. Hahha.. have such word?? Aiyah.. it simply means Social Studies.
PRAY PPL PRAY..

THE JOY OF THE LORD

You gave me Joy that's unspeakable
And I like it...

Hahaha. newsboys.. very cartoon song.. but.. God's joy is unspeakable.. It is something that is reflected off our lives, our actions, our entire being.

Okay lah.. tell you the truth.. didn't prepare anything to say.Hehe.. so hor.. those who waited in anticipation for this short simple message..(I am trying to have faith to believe ppl are anxiously awaiting it).. going to be disapointed loh.sorry..

I just came back from wedding, didn't intend to blog at all.. because.. yes.. to that extent jennifer was right.. lazy.. OEI.. but at least i update pretty frequetly leh.. amuse you ppl with my silly antics.But then i rmbed its the end of the week already.. must bring my offering of JOY to you guys.

Hahahah.. cham lah.. nothing to say bout joy of the Lord.No bible references.
But the bible says The Joy of the Lord is our strength. Why so? To me lah.. i tink its because.. We know that.. yah lah.. trials, battles, failures, dissappointments, discouragements, hurts and the like..though they may be real,But we have Someone who is in control. That's how we remain joyful.. and creates a chain effect.

We feel down----> But we know He is in control---->We are joyful not in our problems, but in DADDY up there---> We go on because we know all things work for good for those who love Him. ALL things.

I'm a very unstable person.. as in i can have alot of emotions at one go..this week is good example. But one thing that BOSS reminded me is that.. Joy IN the Lord is where my strength's gonna come from.

Like I said before.. we don't deny our problems.We admit them. Faith is NOT positive thinking hello? Nope.. arh arh.. NAh.. NOT.. It is admiting the problem, but in spite of that believing that God's going to work it out for the best.

One thing we also have to realise is that.. What are we fighting for? Be reminded that our goal on this earth is for SOULS.. Once we lose focus.. when things go wrong.. very likely we can't remain joyful.. because somehow, they are not even stuff that God wants us to mainly battle for.

ARH.. sudden stroke of genius again.Opps.. lost it. Wait.. wait..
Oh... when our PRIMARY aim in doing stuff is not for God's glory, when we fail.. we become dissappointed in ourselves.And we lose joy because we are human.. its difficult for us to give ourselves another chance.

But when we do stuff PRIMARYLY for Him, when we fail.. we don't lose that joy.. because He is a God of UNENDING CHANCES. Not saying that we abuse this unceasing supply of 2nd chances.. but.. when we've done our best, and we fail still.. we know we haven't failed God.

Actually. i don't know what I'm saying. coz abit the sleepy..Think what I'm driving at is..Joy IN the Lord gives us strength to go wrong.Its a JOY that remains strong and steady even in times of difficulty.So be happy ppl!! God is GOOD.. God is AWESOMELY GOOD!!

Okay.. my time of difficulty arises.. Os..new mission..DESTRUCTO O'sO..Please pray for me.I need lots of prayer.. thank you guys!!

The joy of the Lord is my strength x4.
AMEN.