Desmond and Friends (the TV show).

I dunno if I've ever said it, but i really enjoy Friends.. I used to spend my post A's days, watching episode after episode. Just kept on laughing and laughing, esp at Pheobe.

Ok. Show you my Friends!! Haha, picture-blog!!














Here's Pheobe and Mike at their wedding.. Pheobe and Joey decided to set each other up with their friends and go on a double date. Thing was Joey didn't have a guy friend. So he went into Central Perk and just shouted for a random Mike. BLAH BLAH BLAH, and one season and a few eps later, Mike and Pheobe married.

That's Joey officiating the wedding. He got his license to marry ( as in like the priest marries a couple.) He got his license off the internet, to marry Chandler and Monica, 3 years back. It was still valid so he married Pheobe and Mike, when the real priest was stuck in the heavy snow. Its outside Central Perk, the cafe where they usually hang out in.

Chandler and Monica were married in season 7. Monica is Ross's sister, and Chandler is Ross's best friend. This was in Barbados, at a hotel when Ross was a speaker in a paleontology conference. Monica's hair is so phomb cos of the high humidity.

Here is Ross and Rachel, who were a couple in season 2, and then they broke off. Through the entire series, their relationship is so complicated. On and off, still having feelings for each other.. dunno la. Aiyah... Neeways, Pheobe is behind.. Ross had a date last night, but he has no fashion sense. So Rachel and Pheobe are helping him pick out clothes.

My favourite Friend is Pheobe, cos she's such a free-spirit, and so "wonderfully weird", quoting Mike. She's got so much crazy antics la. Chandler and Monica are next...

I think Chandler is the TV personality that I feel most like. Alot of things la.. I watch him and I think to myself.. "hey, sounds like me." Rachel ignoring his lame jokes... "Hey that's like me!"

Haha, anyways.. Friends. So sad. No more seasons.
Well, another thing I like besides Bruce Wayne and Keating.

Up up and away!

Desmond and the Sidekick.

I was thinking about this yesterday, after 2 draft entries. Faithful readers over the months would know there are 2 things I blog passionately about. Batman and Ronan Keating.

Well, I was looking at a batman site, and I realised, as much as I like Batman, I dun wanna be him. If i could choose, I'd rather be Robin. I'd rather be the sidekick to the big man.

Maybe its cause being the sidekick, you have less responsibility. You have a considerable amount of power and ability, but you have much less responsibility. You have the room to mess up, becos you've got the world's greatest hero as your bestest friend. Superman, Batman...

You can be stronger than most of the city; still be a famed (minor) hero; still save lives. But at the same time, you can also be vulnerable. You can break, becos Batman's the real one the city's counting on. He's the one without the option to break down, and give in.

You can be caught, and bound, and you'll still have Superman flying in, saving you. ( Yes, Superman has no sidekick. Point noted.. haha)

You can still be human, despite being a (minor) superhero.
Cos Big Brother Superhero is there to catch you, and clean up your tracks.

I guess I want to be human sometimes. To feel vulnerable, and let down my guard. To be looked after and watched over.

But I forget sometimes, that I'm already sidekick to the greatest Superhero the world has ever known.

They call Him the Great I Am, Jehovah. El-Shaddai. Adonai. Elohim. Yahweh. Emmanuel. He who was and is and is to come. He the Maker of heaven and earth. He the Lover of my soul. Mighty to deliver. My refuge and my rock. He who lifts my feet, and goes before me. As pillar; of cloud and fire.

The Lord, my God. The Lord Almighty.

I'm a sidekick to Him. I am watched over, looked after. I'm given all power in heaven and on earth, and yet, I can hide in the shadow of His wings. I can be weak, cos He makes me strong.

I could go on and on. Really.

Thank You Father. You're my Superhero.
Thank You, for You watch over me.
What You've reserved for me, none can take away.

Thank You, that You watch over us, and love us enough, to not leave us the way we are. Thank You for saving us.

Praise the Lord, all the earth..

Desmond and the Escalator.

I was on the escalator the other day, riding upwards, and I happened to look to my left. And there I saw something that made my day.

Ronan Keating on the display panel of Semba*ang Music.

Ah, its not a hyped up thing, but Mr Keating's new album is out. Has been for quite awhile... I chanced upon the news a month ago while browsing through the net.

And then I turned my head to the front, and it was just like you see in the movies. The guy goes up the escalator, camera changes to the front, where it catches him coming up the escalator to the upper floor, and TA DUM!!! He sees his favourite superhero on the display panel of Popul*r.

Pure bliss.

What are the odds of Mr Keating and Mr Wayne being so close to each other?! (Actually, quite good odds, considering "they" are cardboard figures.)

Nonetheless, I was pretty happy for those few minutes.

God is so good. Stinking good. Just came back from the Asian Idols thing... Nice to see so many ppl involved. Its probably the first time in a long time where I can see the entire show, as part of the audience. I miss being involved in such productions, and all the rehearsals.

Ok, I have nothing much to really blog about so my thots are all over the place. I finally found a nice simple template, and I happily changed the babyblues picture to this batman storyboard, and swapped all the christmas colours for something dark-er. Haha, all the greys look the same I realised.

Aye nvm.

Up up and away!!

Desmond and the Hiatus, and the World Cup.

Its been such a long time since I wrote! Just trying to spend my time more wisely.

Its the World Cup season and I... correction -- It's the end of the World Cup season, the time where the international language is starting to fade away into oblivion, till 4 years later, where it will rise again.

Admittedly, the World Cup seriously bonds ppl. Frens staying up late, (at declan's house); neighbours drinking kopi and enjoying the late-night GOALLLLLLLLLL, at the 24-hour kopitiam.

I think I've lost out on alot.

Don't get me wrong, I dun watch or play soccer. So I dun mind missing the matches. Its the opportunity to fellowship I miss.

Too many I miss, too much to say.

That's why, sometimes, a Hiatus is better. Sometimes, leaving your phone at home could be better. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes... "You say it best when you say nothing at all.."

Desmond and the Uncertain Pop-up.

In the past few weeks, I've written many many entries, that somehow found themselves worthy enough to only remain as draft, or to be flushed down the sewers of Netspace.

Are you sure you want to navigate from this page?
You have unsaved changes.

No. I'm not sure. I'm never sure.

If I were to be described in a few words, I would have to say I'm an Escapist. An indecisive escapist. Am I sure I'm like that? Na, not sure.

I would love to navigate my way out of situations that overwhelm me, out of conflict, out of misery. So that I can come out fine. To step into that comedy/sitcom life.

To where quarrels are resolved in 30min.
To where there are always 2nd, 3rd, a gazillion alternatives when one door closes.
Alternatives that are found in 30 min.
To where the entire house can collapse, but one week later...

One week later... all is well.
To a place of certainty, certainty that I can smile without a mini-desmond whispering, "but what about that problem, or that, or this? It's not over yet, are you sure you wanna smile?"

Are you sure?
I'm not sure.

Are you sure you want to navigate from this Page?
You have unsaved changes.

I do want to navigate from this Page. But I'm not so sure my changes are unsaved.

Certainty, Certainty. aveh ityp no em. aves em. mi unningr os ryd.
God of certainty.

derit os .

bring me to that special bench in the park.
rugged, washed, battered.
only, take no one else
keep it special.
'else broken means
nothing.

-3.12pm

The One About Forty.

Seeing as how my previous post was about Twentyfour, I thot it would fit in nicely, that this post would be about Forty.

As a side note, is is fourty, or forty?

Well, Fourty is the first name of my good friend, Degree Celsius. Fourty Degree Celsius. Very good friend. In fact, he likes me so much he visited me last night, this morning... Of course, Forty (I'm just gonna rotate between FoUrty, and FoRty, since I dunno which one it is.)

OK, yes, back to what I was saying, Forty is a busy man. He has to go on chores, and he has to make appearances elsewhere, so he couldn't stay with me throughout. (thankGod!)

But being the good friend that he is, he has left his brother thirtyeight to stay with me. his sister thirtynine also occassionally drops by.

I've got to say, of all the Celsius's, I would really love to meet Thirtysix. We had a small falling out, and yea... yea.. Sigh. Let's just say I miss Thirtysix, and I would love to see him again.

As a side side note, I think its Forty, and not Fourty. But Forty looks like, its, like, very Fortified. Haha, Fort-y. ARGH!!!! Spellling bee competitions are so not for me.
--

Oh Jesus Jesus...

The One About twentyfour.

I've just finished my twentyfour km, and my feet have something to say. There there, don't be shy now, just say it loud and so clearly (maria, i've just met a girl named mariaaaa....).

Ouch.

Blisterful year, its a blisterful time. But thank God, and thanks to joash and the miracle-working black tape, the blisters are not as much as compared to my sixteen km.

The youth camp theme two years back was twentyfour seven. I've got to say twentyfour seven God has been with me. Every step of the way I've seen God move in so many different ways.

They say you'll become a real man after you go in... I was talking to Daniel just now, and he sorts of disagrees with them. I too disagree. I don't feel any more of a man, or less for that matter, after going in.

I just feel that I'm a man, ohkayfine, boy, who just appreciates time with his frens, and appreciates his family, and appreciates his God more.

There's so much going on la. I got rejected, (GASP! first time in my life... haha, k rubbish. I admit) Referring to my applications. I'm anxious thinking where I'm gonna be posted. Do I have enough time for ppl I wanna catch up with? When am I gonna watch X3, and with who (altho I've determined if no one goes with me, I'll be going with Jean, Scott, Warren Brown, and Logan.)

Admist all my worry, there's the very special verses, "Do not be anxious about anything..." and the one that jumped out at me that night when I was feeling so swarmped by so many things...

Be still and know that I am God.

Do you know worry is a sin? It's putting faith in the circumstance, and your own inability to handle it, instead of putting your faith in God.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will be still and know YOU ARE GOD.

Thank God for being God.

The One With the Psychological Test.

He stands in the city square
Scores of feet passing him

Many feet
Many shoes

In his mind, he wears them on
his own synthetic feet

He feels them tightening, the shoelaces tightening.

He feels them. He knows them.
He feels them? He knows them?

The shoes feel the tightening.
That discriminate pressure.
discriminate.

Discriminate.

-------

Ok so I'm back again. And I don't need to go in tmr night! (Altho, we were all confined today till 5, cos we aren't fit enough to go out.) Thanks to a psychological test or something, I can go in on monday instead. Apparently they think I'm crazy.

Well, I'll take it up a level.

I'm not just crazy. I'm estatic! I feel like James Bond, walking on a tightrope, sipping red wine, across the Grand Canyon.

It means alot to me, this free time. The extra night where your head lies on a familiar (growingly distant) pillow; the fingertips on the keyboard; and the company of family.

Remember my swollen finger? Btw, pardon the crazy jumping from topic to topic. Haha, tired lah tired. And also, I tag at any tagboard, so if I dun reply you, don't call the Anti-Reply Tagboard Hotline. We don't have to resort to that...

Well, I wanted to report sick the night before i came home. Really. It was so swollen and hurting, but I didn't go cos well... let's just say someone's reluctance rubbed off me.

Anyways, the confinement, the swollen finger, and the inability to report sick despite the monsterish swell, made me very very sad. ( I hate to say this but 'sad' makes me feel so primary school. Ah, the joys of childhood.)

But God turned the situation around. Long story short, cos I'm abit tired to type heh, if I had went that night, I'd probably be hospitalised over a small matter, and the repercussions would be a probable recourse.

Thank God He knew all things.

He knows all things. Who else can say that truly?
I dunno what you guys are going through.
But I know my God knows.

And He knows best.

... the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him...

He knows best.

The One With All The Hazelnut Chocolates.

Blessed be Your name
Though I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

I'm back!! For the hol's. Well half-holiday, since I came out only this morning. Its been an eventful week, so much has happened. But all that's fine now, with Cadbury Hazelnut chocs popping into my mouth like hands waving wildly in a music concert. -woosh, (to your left), woosh, (to your right), woosh, (into the mouth), woosh, (chew!)-

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Ooo. The choc are gone. I'm sad. Haha..

If you must know, I had a sort of test, to see if I have leadership qualities and stuff this week. Held in the forbidden forests again. Hate living out there. Anyways, I can safely say I am a born follower. Yes, I follow Jesus.

Haha, I can't lead for (hazel)nuts la. Whatever. Haha, my finger swelled very badly on the last day, which was yesterday, and now its still swollen. Went to a doc just, and he poked it and squeezed out some of the pus. Gross stuff I gotta say. Pain. Very pain.

Btw, I dun really like chocolates that much. Just craving. It's happy food. haha


And if you're wondering why I have this song etched inbetween my entry, well, I'm confined again. Haha, I'm terribly sad, cos I miss alot of you, and I miss my family terribly much. I planned to have sat evening to catch up and all. BUT, all dashed cos of my silly mistake where I listened to the crowd instead. (See! Natural born follower.) I cried at the window last night, as I called home and replied msges and all. Thank God my block is the only block facing the sea, and mainland. -Picture me grinning uncontrollably.-


I have so little time for my parents, and for my group of close frens, and my classmates. (btw, about MI:III, I was waiting to see if I could make it then reply. Apparently I can't. Altho I would have suggested we watch something else. Haha.. )

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name

But in all things, I acknowledge the sovereignty of God. I thank Him. Altho I can't see any good in the confinement, I still thank You God. That You are God, and You are in control. You're God. You don't need a good reason to do anything. But I know You do. Cos You look out for me.

I realised that its not about being positive and finding the good in the bad. Altho we should be positive. But its about thanking God for all things, good or bad. And as sad as I am, I can only stand amazed at His love.

You look out for me.
Blessed be Your glorious name.

The One After Mud, Tekan, and Bugs.

Yes, the Boy is back.

Haha, Its been a really long 2 weeks, but no worries, I'm safe and sound, blistered and bubbled, with scratches and rashes all around.

Its strange how well I could fit in with the forest and its insect-community. I hate insects as many know, and I was thinking I would probably spend the entire camp ARHHhhhhhhhh-ing away like I normally would 'arh'.

But lying in my little hole (which is pretty much like an open grave I've gotta say), I felt more like a tree trunk -- comfortable in its place, with the ants and the worms, and the grasshoppers, and the spiders, frolicking through it.

YUCKS!

Thank God I'm no tree trunk. Haha, but truthfully, I was pretty comfortable with the insects all around. Oh, I even saw a few fireflies. Pretty cool I've gotta say. That was for my last night. Where everyone had to dig their own trench, or as it was to me, their own open graves.

No kidding, I felt like Dracula lying in the pit, hands folded over my chest, keeping the blasted rifle safe. I couldn't turn left nor right. Just sit up to get up. Walking from point to point, you see other Dracs lying dormant beside. Mist rising, shadows long and swaying... arhhhh. Gothic.

I say the Mothers suffer the most during the camps. I brought back an entire duffel bag of dirty muddy clothes man. Every was pulling along their duffel bags, gathered in small clusters as we were heading home.

Sounds familar? Yep, cos Changi's full of such scenes. Group of stewardess walking with poise and grace, pulling their duffel bags along. It seems the Men of the Big N are preeeetee similar to the Ladies of the Big S. (That's SIA btw.)

"We train you to be men," they say.
"We pick only (society's) perfect women," they say.

Men's man and Women's woman have not much difference afterall!!

Nonsense aside, I really thank God for sustaining me. I mean, I'm a Bath Boy.

( Voice over: Bubble blowing, he destroys the scums of society with a wave of his Loofah.!!Governing Bathram City with the help of his sidekick Rahbur Duckie, evil (bacteria) trembles at his might!! He is BATHBOY!!)

Yup, that's me. (Beams with pride.) What can I say, being muddy is so not a nice feeling, but you get used to everything after awhile.

Just glad to be back.

The One With All the Missing.

Its been about 1 and a half months since I've gone in. To be honest, every time I book out, I honestly wish I could have a good hang-out dinner with my frens.

I miss alot of you alot.

I find myself feeling like I'm trying to grab at anything remotely related to my un-camp life everytime I book in. Sometimes I tear in the cab, sigh, and ask God for strength.

To be honest, I'm abit lost as I return to church. So much has changed. For me, time has become so precious. I need time for my family, and time for my friends, and time for God, and church. Its difficult with all the new things.

Please keep me in prayer, that I dun make any mistake that could cause me a confinement. Haha, miss you guys loads. Take care people.

The One With Superhero Trivia.

I've always loved Marvel and DC superhero cartoons. Each character has their own unique story, of how they got their super powers, and the implications of their powers. Kinda like how each of us have our own "back in my days" to tell our grandchildren at future family dinners.

Here are some superheros that I feel for the most.

Batman
Probably one of the most mysterious superhero there is. A man who, to me, is brilliantly powerful, yet equally vulnerable at the same time. This guy is THE MAN. By night, he is the Caped Crusader, the most brilliant man on earth, arguably the most dangerous super hero of all time. Has no powers, but is so intellectual. By day he is Bruce Wayne, rich, seemingly ignorant fool whose mind is all about hedonistic enjoyment.

Yet behind the mask (literally), here is a man who has had no childhood. A man so dedicated to his nightjob, he realises he can truly open up to few. A man who wears a mask not just to hide his identity, but to build up walls to protect himself. A man people misunderstand. Evil fears him; the police think he is a troublemaker. As Batman, he speaks in whispers to ensure his alter-ego is not betrayed.

A part of me actually feels sad for Batman.
Dunno what else to say la.

Rouge
Of X-men fame. Here is another hero who is pretty clammed up. Because of her powers, which work by physical contact with another person, she can't touch others without hurting them. And becos she fears bring harm to people, she draws away, and becomes slightly anti-social. Sorta like batman. Well the X-men: Evolution versioin of Rogue is like that at least.

No physical contact with others. That's really qute a tough thing.

Superman
Ahh Clark Kent. The nice homely superhero. Always going back to his roots, well. Sort of roots in the Kent Farm. I think he is the one superhero who has good family backing. Martha and Jonathan Kent in Smallville at least, are seen to be really guiding him. Which is something I hardly see in most superheros. Little is known about their families and all.

Ok granted, not many have an entire drama series played by real-life people, instead of drawings. But Superman is like the hero with a homely feel, to me. Plus he is good friends with Batman. That's good enough reason to like him.

Wonderwoman
Diana is probably the most famous female superheroine. One of my favourite. Yes yes, partly cos Batman in JL: The animated series has a thing for her. Haha, but I like her style. And the fact that she's so lady-like, yet she fights the dark side at the same time.

Grace, beauty, and power and strength all in the right mix.

Many of these superheros have some sad story behind the power and all. In reality, our lives are also the same. Everyone has some kind of sad story, sad past. Sometimes we laugh it off as we talk about -- it's a stepping stone that brought us where we are now. Other times, we choke as we relate it. Other times we get frustrated. Sometimes, we dun even reach the end, becos we dun wanna talk about it.

Nice to know, throughout all of these life-stories, one Superhero has always been there watching over us. The One who was so misunderstood, and all alone, many many many years ago today. Yet He went through it, to save the victims from certain death.

Anyways, its true you know, what Ben Parker said, "With great power, comes great responsibility."

"To whom much is given, much is required."

The One With the 2 Favs Combined.

If you know me well, you probably know I'm a Ronan fan. If you read my blog, you would be accustomed to reading his name. I dun tink I've said this before on my blog, but I'm an Elliot fan too. I tink i had it on my msn nick once.

Well I watched the re-runs of AMI today, and I missed Elliot's performance, but HEYHEYHEY!!! I saw the short clip at the end of all the performances, and realised he sang If Tomorrow Never Comes, a Ronan song!!

!!!!

Exciting!! What are the odds man. Very happy to see that. Haha

That aside, I need to rush off to go back in. Hey you guys, I really miss hanging out with you all. Really. Just talking and hanging out. Can we please do so on fri after service or something. Haha, I need the company of the Saints.

Serious.

Thank you guys for praying for me. Thank you. God is so good. SO SO SO SO SO good. Ok I gotta rush. can't wait for good friday. haha..

I wanna make You smile, Jesus.
Be with me.

Cya soon you guys, take care, be blessed!

The One With The Heatwave..

YEE-HAH!!!

Riding the waves, the Heatwaves! Up and down, up and down -- usually staying up for longer.

To the some of you who know, or who have caught me online.. I was sent home from that place on mon. I want to say 'God-forbidden' to show how wretched that place is.. but God's definitely been in that place with me. The only friend and family that could stay with me through it all.

Anyways, I have 2 more days mc from the polyclinic, which means this week I dun need to go back. Of cos I can't leave my house, but 'get-well soon' visits are welcomed. If you are unable to come, its ok. Cash would be the alternative option; just mail it to me.

haha.. i swear i'm not usually like this.

-in mock hysteria- ITS THE HEATtttttttttttttt. THE FEVErr i tell you. The FEVEEER!!!!!!! get away from it!!!! it will kill you!! it will kill youuuuuu!!!!!!

Anyways, its a thunderstorm out there now. I like rain, but not lightning and thunder man.

The One About Victory.

His victory that is.

Before I went in, I was not as nervous and scared as i expected to be. I knew it was definitely God, because come on... Like shared in the previous entry, ( The One About Defeat), I'm afraid of even cockroaches. And all those other things. And going in is a much bigger issue than most of them.

But really, God really sustained me. He knew beforehand what was going to happen. He knew everything in and out. Prior to going in, I was starting on Psalms for my QT. I'm very irregular la btw. I confess. But anyways, I decided to start on Psalms, and one day before i went in, I reached Ps 20.

That was the Psalm that sustained me. When I read it the night before, everything just felt so right. So throughout those 2 weeks, i just kept reading that Psalm over and over again, assured that God saves. And He did. I'm not saying it was a breeze. For the others, they came out after one week, or after 4 days for CNY. For me there was no public holiday, and i went through the entire 2 weeks, feeling really defeated some days. God sustained me, and calls home everynight (cept' one night) kept me going.

Thanks to all who msged me and all. You guys kept me going. I really missed you guys alot alot alot. Thanks for praying to a God who hears, and held me each day. ARGH! I'm almost in tears when I think about His goodness; sending me help, being who He is, and giving me ppl to bothered to pray.

May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.

Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.

Oh LORD, save the king! Answer us when we call.

Ok, the last part doesn't really speak that much, but the essence of the Psalm spoke so much to me. Haha.. I'm really tired and black (really really really black) so I'll stop here.

But not before saying this -- God is faithful. Really. If there's anything about the big N which I've gotten out of, and i really really love, is that it brought me closer to God, and made me love my parents and family more. Everything else.. haha, really doesn't excite me that much...

JESUS!!!!! I stand amazed amazed amazed. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, for loving me. Please help me.

Amen.

The One about the Defeat.

If you know me, you'll know I'm a boy (soon to be man.) who is afraid of alot of stuff. Crazy hyperactive dogs, like er hem, you know who. Speaking in public... and cockroaches. To name a few...

In my defense, i'm not afraid of big, quiet, stoic dogs. Yizai, on the other hand, is a big, stoic-looking dog, who is alittle mad, i've gotta say. I'm sorry John... since that day he wanted to eat us up, he has join the dog brigade of hypercanine i wish to never go near in my life.

Haha, you get the point.

I've always tried to confront my fears. In genting camp a few years back, we went to the theme park. I sat only 3 rides, and i was out. Altho, out of those 3, my favourite was the spaceshot, where you sit in these seats, and they plunge you upwards into the air.

I do try and confront my fears. Even public speaking. The classic story of me, wanting to confront it, in a school assembly. I ended up stammering away. I will always remember how i started.

"GOOd......... AFTernoon....... Sir. I am........... Desmond........ from 04A**."

That's not a swear word btw, its to hide my true identity. Haha.. Mygoodness, I made a fool out of myself. But i try to face my fears.

Out of the many fears I have, the one i can never face is the (K)ockroack. I tried once last year; i sprayed and sprayed and sprayed like there was no tmr for me, if the cockroach lived. Fortunately for me, tho the cockroach survived after the psycho-spraying, i still had a tmr.

Last night, I saw a cockroach in my kitchen. You see, normally, I would leave it, and go to sleep, or wake my mom up. But I thought, what better way to face my fears than to kill it? I folded newspapers, and I threw it at the roach. But as it is, I'm not good at daytona, tank-destroying games, and I'm a bad shot. I missed TERRIBLY.

The next 30 minutes, was spent, walking around the house looking for bygone or mortein(?), NEITHER OF WHICH I FOUND. Judging from the way I used it the last time, and still was not successful, my mom probably thot, why bother. So i walked up and down the house, perspiring at 2 plus, saying to myself, DESMOND YOU CAN DO THIS.

I finally got the mop, and i started to whack the fella. It was running around, as i kept nudging it, and i finally turned it over, but i couldn't bring myself to step on it. Not out compassion mind you. Fear. Haha.. Anyways, i kept going. Cos it flipped itself over.

"Come on Desmond, You've been perspiring, and walking around for almost 30 min. You're not gonna waste all of that by backing out now."

So i kept nudging it. Until it ran behind the dustbin, and i nudged it. AND TWO. Yes, that's ONE, TWO, cockroaches came scurrying out. Needless to say, I went scurrying out of the kitchen, defeated.

Arh.... the grossest thing about cockroaches is that apparently, they can survive an atomic bomb. Now that's scary.

Ok, sorry this was such a long entry. It will probably a really long time till I next blog tho.. till then, Batman, and Keating Rocks.

Batman and Keating!
Up up and away!

The One About the Cheese.

Ok, this entry is gonna be disgusting, so if you dun wanna know about blood, cheese, and rash just dun read, and check back a few weeks later. I mean it.

Seriously.

I'm too irritated to be joking.

Ok, so you're really gonna do this? Ok. Then don't judge me. I'm only human, and I have rashes, blood, and the occasional bite of cheese everynow and then.

Haha, who am i kidding, i love cheese!!!

Not anymore tho.

You see, I've always loved cheese, since i was a little boy. I ate sliced ones just plain, and i ate cream ones like sweets. But i had a problem. (apparently, i still have.) i was allergic to cheese. If i ate too much i would get rashes.

Over the years, somehow, its stopped, and i've enjoyed cheesecake, pasta, pizza and the whole shebang like america loves to hate simon.

Well, I'm taking a shot here, cos I dunno if it really is the cheese, but I've been having rashes SO BAD these few days. I scratched myself in my sleep till my skin tore. IN MY SLEEP!! My goodness, I wore gloves last night to sleep, so i wouldn't do it again.

Anyways, being in church the whole day made my skin really dry, i supposed it tighted and well, its really bad, cos i've got a whole line on my skin that looks like the guy from Wolf Creek hacked my hand. And it hurts.

Well, suspicions arose yesterday, when i realised i started getting a bad rash again aruond THUR. You see, i've got really sensitive skin. Dust gives it a few hours rash, cheese used to give a day rash when i was young. My face is bad -- you would think puberty would have ran its course already. And everything gets worst if i have not enough sleep.

But i rmbed, on wed, after results, i got a bag of Ruffles Cheddar Cheese, to treat myself... Usually its sour cream, or bbq, but i thot, why not. I ate the whole bag on thursday. yes by myself. i've never done that i swear!!

Anyways, my rash starting coming around then, and i didn't realise till sunday. I ate cheese with bread a few days later, and JUST NOW, like 30 MIN ago, i FORGOT, and ate cheesecake. I'm paying for it, cos i just got a new rash area.

AND ITS SO BAD, my skin is tearing, and i'm bleeding, and its not as bad as it sounds, but its not that pretty too.

Oh, last night at power night, when pastor rajan was preaching, i joked, saying to God, "Hey, how bout the rash?" and immediately Ps Rajan said, "God wants to heal those with skin conditions."

Don't ask me why i didn't go out for prayer. I just didn't tink it was that bad!!

Woe to cheese! ARGH! Bring me the calamine........

The One With Ronan's Birthday.

Oh yay! Finally something that brightens up my week. Its Ronan Keating's Birthday!! Ok, before you get all judgemental, saying he's not the best voice, and he's not gonna read my blog (a sad sad fact.) and blahblahblah... I would like to say I deserve to have something to blog about, after hitting a new 'dry'.

So here's to my favourite singer... Happy Birthday, and you're growing old. Like seriously. I see wrinkles man. Just don't stop singing... :) and how bout a backstage pass the next time you come over man.

Ok, so the collage is quite bad. haha, it just doesn't look like what i see in my mind. too bad then. angel is the Queen of this man. anyways, i actually agree he isn't the best voice around. haha i always thought so to those who dunno. Elliot!! The best male voice around!! haha... Katherine is the best female... not her voice tho.

Yea, anyways, haha, its just that mr keating is a family man... and that's rather rare in the entertainment world. Its the same way i like Lisa Kudrow alot. I wanna be a family man too. Man, I even planned the number of children i'm gonna have, and their names already. I also have my impression of what their personalities are like.

Its just nice to be in control of your life for once, even if in some future you know probably won't happen, becos you can control nothing in real life.

Anyways, that's a really far off sidetrack. Haha, talking about keating. Well he doesn't have the most powerful voice around (VOTE ELLIOT!), but his tone is really nice and soothing. its like woodpeppermint's cure on a really sad day. Its abit rough too.. haha, i love rough voices actually. its like you wanna reach down their throat and scratch the voice.

Melissa McGhee and Bucky both have rough voices which I really like.. just that they have so little screen time prior to top 24 round.

Ok, anyways this entry is supposed to be about Keating!! Happy Birthday Ronan Patrick John Keating (that's alot of names. if i only have 2 kids, they are gonna take the names of their other siblings that i had in mind but never actually had.) Not the greatest voice, but definitely my favourite singer..

The A One.

Thank You God. =)

The One with the Quizes

My pirate name is:

Calico Davy Rackham

Often indecisive, you can't even choose a favorite color. You're apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

I was just surfing the net that day, and I chanced upon this quiz. I can't rmb how exactly I did.. Anyways, i was laughing out loud, when it deducted i was indecisive cos i couldn't even choose a fav colour. Quite true. Anyways, this was prob bout 1 - 2 weeks ago that I did it. I did it again (oh spare me the britney nonsense.. haha..) anddddddd this are the results.

My pirate name is:

Iron Davy Read

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

I've come to believe Davy is the common denominator. And my pirate name shall henceforth be Calico Iron Davy (II) Rackham. I'll drop the Read, cos I'm not a big fan. And the II does not mean The Second. It just means Davy X 2.

One more quiz. Or not really a quiz. Its a Johari Window. Hannah intro-ed me to it. So I got one too.. Anyways I'll prob get a Nohari Window too.. That's the negative characteristics version.

Ok, click here! So I can broadcast, or blogcast it from my blog, and instead of using it as my msn nick. It's not a nice nick. See, that's why you get blogs! So you can save your msn nicks for nicer things.

Ok. Nights World.Up, Up, and Away......to bed!!

The One With the Angsty Playlist.

That day, I was telling God what my wishlist was, if He ever asked me what are the top 3 things i wanted. Of cos, being the greedy person I am, I told Him, "top 4 please!"

The past few days I've been sitting in front of the comp, typing paragraph after paragraph, and yet nothing decent has come up all these times. And when I say nothing decent, i do mean nothing decent -- in the sense that everything i write seems abit too angsty for me. I'm way past the age for teenage angst. Yes, granted, I'm still eighTEEN, or A(eigh) Teen. But somehow, i feel abit too old for anvril lavagne and other teen angst singers.

Talking about that, I've actually been clearing up my music library. No worries, my fav singer is still in the library. In fact very once in a long while, he has his own airtime, that's undisturbed by any other artiste. Ok, except maybe Bethany Joy Lenz, or Oliver James. That's not the Naked Chef btw. That guy is Jamie Oliver. And to be honest, his show's quite good. Maybe its the name. Hmm. Ok, from now on, my middle name is no longer Shane. Its Oliver.

Anyways, i've been clearing all the rock songs from my playlist. The Julianna Theory is gone, some of my One Tree Hill songs are gone... all to make way for songs to suit a calmer me. Well, i do admit I'm not exactly calmer. But at this point in my life, rock songs are so not for me.

Its been said that a person's playlist reveals his/her personality. I dunno what genre means what; I dun even know what my playlist says about me.

But, changing its contents probably means something.

That day, I was telling God what my wishlist was, if He ever asked me what are the top 3 things i wanted. Of cos, being the greedy person I am, I told Him, "top 4 please!"

This was my last attempted entry. Part of it. I thot about my top 4, and I wondered what happened in my life, that caused me to place those things as my Wishlist.

I can guess abit for all 4, and i think i know why I've cut the rock songs from my playlist. But what else is gonna happen in the near future, that will affect my far future? I don't know.

Thank God, He knows the future.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know, I know,
He holds the future.
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives.

He holds the future. And life is worth the living.
Thankyou Daddy.

The One With The Quiz.

My pirate name is:

Calico Davy Rackham

Often indecisive, you can't even choose a favorite color. You're apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

I was just surfing the net that day, and I chanced upon this quiz. I can't rmb how exactly I did.. Anyways, i was laughing out loud, when it deducted i was indecisive cos i couldn't even choose a fav colour. Quite true. Anyways, this was prob bout 1 - 2 weeks ago that I did it. I did it again (oh spare me the britney nonsense.. haha..) anddddddd this are the results.

My pirate name is:

Iron Davy Read

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even through many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

I've come to believe Davy is the common denominator. And my pirate name shall henceforth be Calico Iron Davy (II) Rackham. I'll drop the Read, cos I'm not a big fan. And the II does not mean The Second. It just means Davy X 2.

One more quiz. Or not really a quiz. Its a Johari Window. Hannah intro-ed me to it. So I got one too.. Anyways I'll prob get a Nohari Window too.. That's the negative characteristics version.

Ok, click here! So I can broadcast, or blogcast it from my blog, and instead of using it as my msn nick. It's not a nice nick. See, that's why you get blogs! So you can save your msn nicks for nicer things.

Ok. Nights World.
Up, Up, and Away...
...to bed!!

The One About the Tube q.u.o.t.e.s.

"But every day that you stonewall makes you look more and more like a cold, calculating killer.."

-D.B, DH.

"Everyone in the world needs someone they can depend on.
Be they faithful friends...
determined advocates...
or a loving family.
But occasionally in life, the people we thought
would always be there for us...
...leave."

-M.A.Y, DH.

The One With the Words of Wisdom.

The time has come for Uncle Desmond to share some pearls of wisdom. Bear in mind Uncle Desmond has walked the earth for 18 years. And well. Its not very long. But it is his blog. So he does get to write whatever he wants.

Don't you just hate it when people start talking in third person?? Haha, i know i do. haha..

Ok, let's get along now. Here are some things I learnt in the past few days.. Wise things that should be passed from generation to generation.

1.) Don't blow into a cup of tea leaves, with the fan blowing in your direction.
2.) If you bit yourself and got an ulcer, be careful not to do it again. Especially at the same spot.
3.) When travelling on public transport alone, do not think of things that make you laugh hysterically.
4.) When you are walking home, and you are singing out loud, always check to see if there are people around you. If caught, be cool and pretend you knew the person was there all along. Smile to the person, while singing, if possible.

Ok. That's it for now.!!
Till next time, I'm Uncle Desmond!!!

The One Where All Fades + Decoded.

"Hopes were fading on Sunday of finding survivors after the roof of a packed exhibition hall collapsed in Poland and rescue workers pulled 65 bodies from the rubble." - of a disaster which occurred apparently due to the weight of snow on the roof, in Poland.

I was on my way back from my grandfather's, thinking of what to blog. I realised everything in this world fades. And lo, and behold, the first news i saw on my yahoo(Ireland; YAY!) homepage was this.. and it started off with this sentece. "Hopes were fading..."

For the first 15 mins in Ah Gong's (Mom's side) house, I was greeted, given the "dun worry bout NS talk".. then i became wallpaper for the next 5 hours. The unofficial Guardian of the TV Screen. Cos i dun go back everyweek like my parents and bro do.. Sat is the common day for the family to go back to fellowship. Only some come back la. So cos i dun go, i really dunno them well.

I used to go back but i stopped, cos of services. And so the familial ties became like pencil shavings.. They simply faded away. The only ones in my extended families, on both sides, that I would consider close is my mom's 2nd Sis's family.. They are the one of the nicest, the truest, loyal, people i know.

I'm not blaming the service for the widdening in gap. But i realised something, everything in this world has to be maintained. Just that, you can't maintain everything at any point of time. Some things have to go.. Only way is to reach a certain compromise.

Ties fade, Colours in books fade, Childhood fades, Frenship fades, Passion fades, Faith fades. Fade, fade, fade, unless you take an active step to refresh these things. Its true what the bible says, rather be cold, or hot, but not lukewarm. (VERY VERY VERY ROUGHLY QUOTED. haha..) Cos just being complacent, and just, being passive, well.. you'll just slide backwards after awhile.

Sometimes its good not to expect too much, cos expections are often failed, seeeing as how so little in this world remains. Many things (and not just people) come back and bite you in the as*. Stab you in the back. Our own judgement is highly flawed.. I admit mine is.

I'm like a Boy with a strucked compass, in the midst of competitors in alliances that i dun even know if i can trust. Who's the real murderer? Which room is a real threat? I'm in the eye of the hurricane, its seemingly calm, but everything else around me is spinning. I can't tell what is what, and how long more before everything comes crashin down.

Our own judgement is highly flawed. Cos everything in this world fades.. 'cept Him.
'Cept Him.

So depressing, haha, yea. But well.. i guess, while things fade, that's not gonna stop me from still hoping, trusting, and believing. I've stopped doing that for certain things and people. But there are other things and people who deserve my hopes for them, my trust and belief in them. So hope goes on. Perhaps even the reality of all fading away, would itself,fade away someday.

Someday.
That Day.

The One Where Everyone Says.

He says She says We say They say You say I say

he's like a
sailor in the
unforgiving seas
with a
strucked compass

she's like a contestant on prime-time reality television
thrown in the middle of 12 questionable-Others

we're like the Chased in a thriller
with a masked killer

they're
like the Hostages in
hostile
terrain
held captive
in unmarked
prisons

You and I are...
surrounded by the fragments and spoils of the Wind,
untouched, unharmed, but nonetheless present.

He says She says We say They say You say I say
there's much black and white

Who's to say there
isn't more grey?

The One With the New Template.

I've got a new template!!!! The other one, apparently, was too uncle.

This uncle however, managed to get a new template tho!! Haha, I got the template off blogskins.com. The searching part is a nightmare man. You're aimlessly looking at blogskins, one after another, and some are really bad, and some are ok, and some are nice, but not you.

Anyways, this present one is not totally done by the blogskin person. (and i'm very proud of myself!!! muhahah!) The initial picture was of this anime guy smoking. Anyways i got the present pic of webshots, thankyouwebshots, and did abit of editting here and there, and voila! New template. :))))))))

Can't stop grinning. Hahah.. cos i spent half the morning doing it, then i pressed the BACK button by accident and had to redo everything. But at least it was something to do. haha.. and i never understood how the new image templates are made, where you click on diff words and it brings you to a diff page of the blog, but the same blogwebpage. As in those new templates la.. I never knew how they worked. But now. MUHAHA, i've realised it.. so yes. i feel rather victorious!! :))))))))

:)))))) haha.. i can't wait for the day when i get my own farm. :))))))))))))))))))))

haha..

The One About Awareness.

CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE!

Our entire life is generously splattered with specks of Change. I was talking to a fren (X) that day, and somehow the conversation went in the direction of X teasing me about something. So i gave X a quick sacarstic retort, and X was pretty surprised at how I shot back. X was laughing when X gave me the I-can't-believe-DESMOND-did-that look.

And of cos I was abit stunned that X shot me that look. Cos I didn't think that I would have reacted differently when X last saw me. of cos X thought otherwise.

It's just goes to show that well, sometimes we aren't aware of changes we go through. And I realised how important it is to know yourself, and how you've changed. I tink people who are calm and composed when faced with difficulty, and are greatly respected by others are the people who not only know their audience, know their surroundings, but also know themselves.

I mean its like knowing your strength and weaknesses. I heard a comment once that made alot of sense.. that in business you've gotta use your weaknesses (not just your strengths) to your advantage.

MAN! Now i'm trying hard to rmb which show it was.......... i tink it was a reality show. BTW, as a really really offpoint side note, I tink nicole (from america's next top model) is so pretty.. Ok. she's not that pretty but i like that english beauty look. OH LIV TYLER..... somebody hold me... haha..

Ok. back. Yah and that boils down to self awareness. if you can understand how you work, you'll know what works best for you. I wrote once about knowing who you are in Christ. I guess its also self awareness, knowing your authority as children of God.

Self awareness. Self awarness. Self awareness.

Ok, one thing about myself that I'm aware of? I'm getting fatTER and fatTER each day. And my plans to go jogging, always starts tomorrow. Maybe i should just go now.




Or maybe tmr.
Haha..

The One With Ben, Jerry, and Dino.

Last Sunday we had lunch at erm, somewhere in Marina i tink. Anyways, its not really important where it is, (haha, actually its cos I really dunno where we were. Yes yes, I'm a neighbourhood boy, not a citykid.) Yea, so after lunch we went around looking for a Ben&Jerry's store. I had no idea they had such a stall honestly.. I mean, I've seen Haagen Daz's ones around, but BandJ's.. nope.

Anyways I didn't eat.. What I wanted to say is, Angel's blog (Go on, Right Click It! and open in new window cos you have to continue reading my blog finish first my friend.. ).. Angel's blog had pictures of the different Ben&Jerry's Icecream Flavours.. So Angel and I were talking, and we talked about the Fossil Fuel One, and I was telling her that there are real dino-shaped erm.... dinos. Made of chocolate fudge. So I was eating it that day and here's a picture of one dino that I found at my mini excavation site..

My Mini Excavation Site in my living room. Now that's a sentence I never thot I'd say.

But that's not the point. Yea, here it is. Its so small and its everywhere in the icecream. But its hard to take a picture of it without the sand, i mean, icecream all over it. I had to employ the dusting brush (i.e my tongue) to dust off the sand (really the icecream)

Anyways, apparently, fudge melts when you put it in your mouth for awhile. (DUH.) So I tried to take a picture of the other 2 dinosaurs, a Bird Dino, which kept melting so I couldn't take a picture. And a dino with many triangular scales, pointing upwards, lining its back all the way to its tail. That Dino, I couldn't find in my Mini Excavation Site.

So yea. We'll make do with this T-rex looking one.

Btw, the Fossil Fuel(clickit!) is pretty nice. Its lame, but the tagline for the icecream is Don't Burn It, Eat It!

So, Don't Burn it, Eat it!!
I'll tell you what you have to burn tho.. the fats you get from eating Ben&Jerry's. Haha, but its nice..

The One About The Rain.

Its been pouring for the past few days. I gotta admit, KNOWING FULL WELL the immediate protests i would receive from many, but I simply enjoy rainy days.

Yes, I know too that rainy days has its flaws. For one, travelling becomes a major bummer. What with carrying an umbrella just to cross one road for the whole time you are going out - the road between your side of the road, to the opposite road to get to the busstop. The clothes are taking awfully long to dry also. Clothes are being hung up everywhere in my house, its like living in a laundromat, save the washing machines and the coins.

But here are some reasons why i love the rain..

1.) The cool weather is amazing. You hardly get cool weather in the Sunny Island (or the Not-So-Sunny-Anymore Island, at which i cannot help but smile.) I've perspired so much lesser, almost nearly never, these few days. Cept my hands and feet. Which sweat rain or shine.

2.) The colour of the sky is amazing. One of the colours I love the most, is the colour of the sky/clouds before it rains. Its dark, strong, thick.. Absolutely astounding. The sky grows darker at the times of day when it should be the brightest. The irony is that, the sky grows lighter at the times of night when it should be the dark. I've just realised that! Amazing. The darkening sky makes it especially cosy, to nap, or to even read. Yes, I actually want to read in such weather. What would top of such cosy and inviting, (while at the same time, seemingly threatening) weather, is a good cup of hot cocoa. or chocolate as they say.

C.) The pittar-pattar is amazing. While it pitta-patts at such a fast rate, somehow or rather time seems to pass slower, inside the house. We could stand having it taken down a notch, in this formula-rat-racing country.

4.) You save the money on travelling, cos its raining and you can't get out. Nuff' said.

E.) I think that walking/playing/dancing/singing in the rain is something everyone should do at least once in their life. That is really choose to be in the rain, out of your own will. Not getting caught in it and rushing OUT of it. Its something I've done once or twice, but not free and unrestrained. Always at the back of my mind is, "my mother's gonna kill me." So yes, I would love to go walking in the rain one of these days. Of cos there's the prob of how the clothes are gonna dry since there's no sun for drying.

17.) Everything combines to set the backdrop for quiet musings and contemplating. I love that. Not that I think alot, just that, well, you keep more quiet than usual. You wonder more, and you are more grateful for the sheltar you have.

I love rainy days.. tho many don't. Haha, but MYWORD i love the rain.

The One with the Mystery.

u sib'r fwr ook. rgwt n'jw ai kurrke awbaw.

dewba qgi fwr yoawr 'r rgw niar eusuxykiya rgubfa. ai aoiukr! 'efg!

o fim nr;orbr om ;pbr. pt gtrmdo[. sy ;rsdy oyad ypp tstr yp nr gpimf.


:ptf, htsmy yjsy o djs;; mrbrt drrl yp nr vpmdp;rf, sd yp vpmdp;r' yp nr imfrtdyppf sd yp imfrdysmf' pt yp nr ;pbrf, sd yp ;pbr, eoyj s;; ,u jrsty, eoyj s;; ,u jrsty.

jr;[ ,r D'rgwe!!!

The One About (Gross) Public Transport.

Ok. Today was the first time this year, that I took public transport to CCK. On sunday, we had john, who is my lifesaver i've gotta say.. transport-wise. haha

BUT TODAY.

WO-HOHO. TODAY.

Today I got on the bus, as innocently as I can. And like always, I lifted my wallet to the great money-eater. The one which doesn't eat if you have the VIP pass - the revered Concession. Well, since the A's, I've not had my bus-amulet renewed. But that was fine.

Today.

Today, I lifted my poor amulet-less wallet to the great money-eater (or the GME), and I did not hear the usual, comforting chime I've heard for the past few years. No BEEP BEEP. In its place was the siren song, BEEP(S). ( S here stands for BEEP(singular), not BEEP(many times)).

The reality of Adult-Fare hit me hard. It is expensive to travel now. My heart goes out to all who travel with Adult-Fare. He's the worst friend you can make on a bus trip.

I've got an unwanted frieeeend. I guess that's a good reason to stay home, and cab more.

The One about..........

I dun really have anyting to blog about today. Its jus that its 12 on the last day of the year, Its a lazy afternoon feeling, and I really want to blog.

Well, the previous post was super emo la, when i wrote it. Haha, just had accusations thrown at me by some pp when i was writing it. And you should know I hate to be accused. I cry when i get accused. Yes. I realised the other day that crying is not just when you are sad, or happy. I know this girl who cries only when she's angry. I'm similar (sort of remotely la) -- i cry when i'm frustrated, angry (with myself, or others, or situations), and when I'm accused. Of cos I cry too when i watch sad movies, like I am Sam (haha, inside jk)..

Actually I just cry whenever and where ever la.

The act of my crying aside, I'm an escapist. Someone once said that of me. When conflict comes my way, I run away from it. I'd rather run, than have conflict. I'm a Conflict-avoiding, Escapist. Capital E.

That's prob why I throw myself into tv, sometimes books(the sheer irony considering i hate reading), packing my room and doodling. Into my escapist desires to break free and soar far far far away. Simply just to be separated from reality. Falsely believing that perhaps a while spent away from Desmond's Reality, and in Desmond's Fantasy, that some unknown force might resolve a misunderstanding, or mend a broken heart.

Temporal Respite. But in the end, there's still a deep longing, and desire that can't be filled.

The only 'fantasy' that feeds the longing, is the fantasy-reality of Heaven. Of being back with Him. One day. Never being apart.

'Cause somewhere behind those stars
Is Someone who belongs to me
And I know in my deepest heart
There's a place for You until I find the place You made for me
-chris rice

People are drawn to love, and promises of love, and displays of love. Cos true love comes from God. And ppl are drawn to anything that puts a face, however remotely, to the Master of Love.

I wish You could stay
But I'll wait for the day
And though You've gone away
You come back and I'll....
Be Remembering You
-steven curtis chapman

The One For 2005, for Narnia, and Batman Toys.

Its that time of year again. The time where time seems to stand still-er. Time passes slower. Keating's back up on WMP, to add to that sense of retrospect.

I've just watched The Chronicles of Naria, which I've gotta say, I really love. I've read the books since young, and this particular book is the one I've read countless times over, cos I love it so much more compared to the others in the series.

Reading it since young, dreaming about it, and just getting lost in the fantasy and the magic and the warmth feeling of security, of bravery, of triumph over evil -- to have it all made into a movie, where descriptions in the book actually come to live... ITS JUST AN AWESOME FEELING.

I mean, compared to LOTR, which i really loved too, I tink Narnia LOSES. I wished it was longer, the battle scenes weren't much to compare with those in LOTR. But I love it still, prob more, cos its closer to my life, to my heart, to the deep childhood recesses of my mind.

Its like, this book , The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, is prob one of the things my childhood revolved around man. Other things include my batman toys... Can't really rmb really anything else from my childhood, as distinctively as these two things.

As I watched the show, one thought came to mind. I'm growing old. Soon I'm gonna be over 20 already.

In this year alone, 2 things that were a very big part of my childhood were brought to life, so to speak. Yes Narnia is one. Another is just something on my heart since young, and now there's an open door. Semi-open.

When something that you've been wishing for, for years LITERALLY, comes and meets you in the present, or near future, that sense of growth hits you really hard.

What has impacted me about this year? I've realised that my wings are spreading abit farther. My heart is rushing beyond the thresholds of what I've been taught since young is safe. I'm doubting alot alot what I've been taught is safe now. I realised I'm growing older. And I realised that God is the only who can truly say, I LOVE YOU.

I wish i had a place like Narnia, to run to. An elder brother like Peter, who wld protect me. A little sister like Lucy, to protect.

I wish to be with Him right now. I miss You SO STINKING MUCH. I MISS YOU I MISS YOU. DAD. BROTHER. FRIEND.

I MISS YOU.

The One About Chinese, Stage, and Christmas.

Well, before i go any further, i just wanna give GOD ALL THE GLORY, for what He has done in the production. I wanna say its thanks to HIM, and HIM ALONE, i could have gone up there and sang.

Haha, when i first heard they wanted me to sing in mandarin, i was totally GONE. Like seriously? Asking Desmond to sing in mandarin is like, asking a dog to purr. Plus add that to my stage fright, which many ppl know i have. True, I was sooo excited, cos i did made passing comments to God that I would really love to sing. But i didn't think i would actually have the chance to, let alone in mandarin.

So i was so panicky. And I'm so thankful to God, for Sis Rina Tan, the sister who gave me practical pointers and revealed so much beyond the technicalities, for Pam, who really calmed me and tried everything to help me, to Judith and Eric Cheng who were like, so patiently playing the piano and teaching me my part, and of cos Xiao Yan Zi, the chinese PLP student who sang with me. And of cos ppl like sharon, jason oon, col, esther f, hayley who really encouraged me. THANK YOU.

And TO GOD. I just kept praying before the show ALL FOR YOU. ALL FOR YOU. And when i went up on stage, my hands were terribling.YET I had a calm around me i know i could never have gotten just like that, considering my stage fright. And i just felt God's presence on that stage. SO strong, it took over. So here, while i gotta admit sometimes i wld love to take some of the glory, i've gotta say, IT WAS ALL FOR HIM. and it was all, HIM.

I tink the production was a sucess.. God really showed the reality of His Love today, through the simple cruxicifiction video. To tink i was criticising that the song played with it was too rock-ish and unfit for the images. But His ways? Higher than ours.

Anyways, everyone did a really good job. I'm proud of everyone, the Video Crew, the Sound, Lighting and Props, the make-up, the worship team, the actors. KUDOS.

This year's christmas turned out to be a great one. Thank God for frens like John, Joel, Col, Esther, Angel, Joy, Gabriel, RINA!, Qiuxia and many many many many others who spent the day with me.. thank you.

And once more, thankyou God. Happy Birthday. =) You're really old, in human years, now. haha..

BLESSED CHRISTMAS!!!!

The One about Christmas Cheer.

CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY OF ALLL!!!!!

And, its not just the presents, which are getting lesser as I grow up. I've blogged before about my christmas presents from my aunt. So this year no more. haha..

But its also the mood of Christmas altogether. The Christmas productions every year at church. The cartoons on TV. They showed Justice League on TV today, about Christmas, and it was so nice. No real threat or fighting. Villian helping Hero to give the children in the orphanage a nice Christmas.

Love. Joy. Wars (don't) ever start.

Of cos I know the real world is not like that. It can't be. That's just one big lie. (heh.) Even now, somehow, there's so much spoiling my Christmas Cheer. But there's something about Christmas that makes it seem almost Fantastical.

That makes me wonder if I wished, prayed, hard enough, something will happen. Something I want.

Maybe its the Love of the season that I'm searching for. Maybe that's why so many ppl love Christ-mas.

There's this song, on Col's blog.. its just so nice.. Its gonna be in the christmas production sung by 2 singers who i have deep respect for. And not just for their singing talent. Its called Grown-up Christmas List.

I tink it is in essence, A Grown-up, so desperate, that He/She falls back on childhood fantasies and stories, to try and deal with the Adult Things in Adult Life.

Adult-things, in Adult-Life. Maybe love (small 'l') doesn't apply to non-children. Thankfully, Love (Big 'L') does.

Blessed Christmas everyone!
Btw, batman and wonderwoman weren't in the episode. GL and Hawkgirl sent the day together. Clark Kent brought Jon Jonzz home, since he has no family left. Flash went to the orphanage. Batman just volunteered to stay at the watch tower i tink. Didn't even see him or Wonderwoman. :( haha..

maybe.

maybe there was a mistake.
the wrong one stayed.
the right one went up.

maybe there was a mistake.
You made a defect.
A toy robot with a hole.

in his heart.

maybe there was a mistake.
maybe this is one whole big mistake.

cos its thinning.
receding. desperate. and tired.
so tired.

maybe, You could fix the mistake.

The One About (Bad) Public Transport.

OH. How i hate travelling. I hate packing my bag for camps and stuff.
But its just not international travelling.

Travelling in the SUNNY ISLAND OF SINGAPORE, where everyone is nice and friendly. Polite. Where everyone says please, shows courtesy (thanks to Courtesy Campaigns). Where everywhere is clean and green. When the streets are plastered with smiles...

... my foot.

Ok, i know i've ranted about bad public transport rides before. But today was the ultimum man. SERIOUSLY. Today i woke up late, so i wanted to catch a cab. K. I went out of the house at 10.25. Cos i was dilly-dallying la. Then I got to the place where i usually wait. I was the first in the queue of ppl waiting along the roadside. But i waited for almost an hour but no cab. Well, throughout that one hour, 2 parties tried to cut my queue. Just like less than 10 steps away from me.

First it was this girl, i didn't say anything. Then as i waited longer, and longer, i started to get abit upset la. Cos i'm waiting so long and you just cut. So i prayed and ask God not to give her a cab. BAD. I know. haha.. but she crossed over la. then i actually said out loud. HA HA. Then the moment i said that, this family came in front of me. I was like. Ok God. I get it. No more being mean.

Anyways, i got on a cab after.. had to go somewhere else.

Then coming back from church, i got of the train. Before anyone could get off the train, this, can't rmb woman or man, grabbed my arm, and pushed me out, and pushed herself in. I was likeeeee.. OH KAY. I've met bad passengers who don't wait till we alight to get in, but grabbing my arm is a first man.

The bus ride home was bad too la. You know how sometimes at the interchange, some ppl dun line up but wait at the side, and get on when all the commuters in the real queue get up? Well, apparently, the ppl at this interchange don't wait till you all get up the bus. The just push up after awhile. yes. push. literally.

I hate travelling.
Haha, plus the money involved. haha

The One Where They are Gone.

Ok.. the most of the region is gone. I'm sure they are having a time of their lives.. So here i am, eating mee goreng, for the second day in a row.

Its kinda funny to realise they aren't ard. Joel and I went to eat prata, last night at bout like 1 at my house. And he was telling me about some plans on sunday. So i thot, ok, and i wanted to ask him if some of the others knew. Then i realised. "Some of the others" are ALL in timor. Haha..

But thankfully, there are some Survivors of the Timor Snatch, in that sense. Jonathan, matthew and gang are still ard.. Thank God qiuxia was there at prayer.. yeap. Can't wait for sat and sun. Time is just passing by so fast!

Oh well. short entry today. I have nothing much to say.. :]

The One Where D. Looks Back at His Draft Entries.

I have a few entries that i've typed previously.. that i've saved as draft. Simply becos i dunno how to complete them and cos i dun wanna turn this blog into some pity party, where i hang banners and streamers laced with self-pity.

I just read them awhile ago.. and i decided i'd let in abit on what i wrote.. haha, cos i thot long about them!!

Here's one.
a.)I realised something, God using you doesn't mean you're awesome, better. God speaking to you doesn't mean you're good. God sees beyond good, and bad. He just sees your, could be-s.

I was just thinking yesterday as i was having my hair cut, that barbers and hairdressers are ppl who see you for who you are now, and yet they also see your potential, your could be-s as I've more appopriately called it above.

Seriously, plastic surgeons, hairdressers, have it in their scope to daily see their customers potential. Construction workers, engineers, and many other professions built on What Is Not, to create What Is, from what they Envision.

In the bible it says, "Without vision, His people die."

How true. If we cannot envision, and cannot see the potential in ppl, or in ourselves for that matter.. we cannot live life. We can live... but not live life. Cos we'll always be focussed on incidents that hurt us, or something, from the past, or the present.

I guess that's how God gives us second chances, or 287437981738848th chances(for me). Cos He sees what i Could Be. I'd be dead over a gazeellion gazeellions times if He saw ONLY my present, or past. And I say Only Cos, He recognises our mistakes, as should we.

But we've gotta realise too, it goes beyond our mistakes. It reaches God's Blueprint of our lives. His building us from What Is Not, to become What Could Be. It reaches our Potential.

I'm thankful that My Superhero of Gazeellion Chances sees me, and the potential I could be. Really. I'd be no where if He didn't. He's amazing.

The One With All The Minor Injuries.

this. is. disgusting.

A week before camp, i told colleen when she had a blister, that i hadn't had a blister for a really long time. 2 weeks later, my feet's covered with blisters everywhere. and i got a cut on my hand, from crawling under the pool table, and pulling out some hot pink ribbon.

Not to mention the peice of glass i stepped onto, and took out 2 days later.

My eye was swollen real bad the 2 days following the camp, and its still abit swollen now.

Just this morning, as i was brushing my teeth, i dunno why, but i started brushing so quickly and hard as if it was the cure for cancer. And conveniently hit my gum with my toothbrush, giving me an ulcer that is starting to develop already.

And my thumb decided this morning, it was gonna smooch my room door. LEAVING ME WITH A thumb that's bleeding from inside the nail.

And my poor heart, head, and mind is suffering a severe beating from themselves. Wait. the heart beats always anyways. Haha. but i just realised i'm so disgusted with the way I, and i say MYSELF FIRST, and all other humans are so quick to judge.

We're so quick to judge pp's intentions, good or bad. So quick to judge pp based on CRAP, or rumours, or our own myopic brushes with them. Its like, one hole spoils the entire canvas. And i'm speakin for myself too! I'm so bitter, i'm like a bittergod. haha, bittergourd. But, i let one incident alone map out my perception of ppl. I wanna change man.

In camp, there was this session about making the right decisions. One simple but important that was brought up, and i will leave with you...

What would Jesus have done?

The One About the Camp.

Yep, I'm joining the (probable) scores of people blogging about the camp. This year's budget camp has been definitely fun. It's been a pretty amazing time, and definitely refreshing.

One of the most amazing things about this camp, is that I actually really ran around, and threw my heart, soul, AND sole, into the treasure hunt and the other games (cept' for B.O.S -- its the only time i can slack.) I say sole, becos i came back home to pluck out a small peice of glass from the sole of my feet. (OUCH.)

Of cos, you may think i played only cos I had to, since i was the assistant leader. Haha, which is not really true. I got quite a pleasant shock when i heard i was gonna be assistant leader, since every year, i join the ranks of SLACKERS in games. To be all excited and 'on' for games is just so not me. But this yearI was really quite pleased with the games altho there were many flaws and debatable winners. But, its just a game.

Food was bad tho.. Really bad. Its one of the worst in the many camps we've been in. Of cos, the worst still in kukup, nothing beats the vomit scrabbled eggs.

And we had to pay for our shirt, and we had no busing back from east coast. BUT despite all these, this year's camp was really fun. Like said, I really enjoyed the (most) of the games, I had nice room mates, had a really fun and hilarious time talking late into the night with all the region guys. K, they were talking, declan and i were falling asleep. But the fellowship was really fun... I guess if I were to describe the camp with one word, it would be meaningful. The fellowship was truly meaningful, like the whole region was so close. I like that feeling. :)

Of cos, the sessions were really good. To be honest, when i heard pastor miguel was preachin, i was abit scared, and sceptical, cos his prayers are all so long... I entered camp with a mix of anticipation and scepticism. I knew I needed something, just couldn't pinpoint what exactly. I was excited about leading a group, but worried I couldn't convince them to be enthu, or actually play. My mind acted out so many possiblities of how the camp would go before i actually went. Good, bad, mediocre, superb, dissapointing for me... SO MANY MY HEAD JUST EXPLODES MAN!!

But beyond that, I knew one thing for sure. I needed to go for the camp. I needed God, still need actually, more than ever.

God did meet me. He heard every single thing I asked Him for. I asked Him for specific things, and He gave me that, AND MORE.

I dunno what to say. I'm speechless at His love. His forgiveness. His Father nature. His Brother nature. His Spirit, and Best Friend nature. I'm amazed by His big hands, and big legs. His big heart. I'm blowned away by His power, His plans for me.

I'm so humbled by His greatness and my weakness. I'm so thankful He loves me, still, and despite all my horrible horrible messes. I'm speechless. How is it, He can still use a wretched soul like me. How He chooses to.

I stand amazed. So amazed. His love is so deep, so wide, so great.
I'm sorry the entry is so long, but, i just am so reluctant to stop typing about His greatness. I mean... I know He is real. I know it. I know it so well. Becos He's too specific to be a coincidence. His love is so deep so deep.

My Daddy of many chances.
My Big Brother of unmeasureable love.
My Best Friend who's always there, always listening.

I'm speechless.
k, not really since i've typed so much, but this is not anywhere near the amazement i wish to express about His love.

His forgiving, second chances, love........

The One about the As.

Haha, I'm so ont going to talk much about my As, just that its over. And i really need God. And I'm gonna trust God, that whether or not I do well He's smart enough, and He's a really good SIMS: The Real Deal player.

On the issue, of trusting God, I've just had an epiphany about Faith. Well, its a testimony, sort of. Haha, yes, other than Him bringing me through the DREADED As. Seriously, its the worst exams i've taken in ALL my life. On the topic of exams................... we'll leave that till later.

You see, I lost my TGOST text on thurs, which is my one of my lit text. And that's one day before my paper, which is today. I searched like all possible places like three times over, but couldn't find it. So i thought, ok. ask, Sheena, since i'm going to her party in the evening, and she's my senior. Anyways, long story short, she says she needs to find. Which is YAY thank God.

Then at the party, i realised she didn't know my paper was the next day, so obviously i can't be forcing her to find her book, when she
A.) has paper the next day
and B.) is the birthday girl.

So i told her its ok. No clue what else to do, No Backup Plan. I didn't think too much about it. Went home, and miraculously found it in a place that i previouslyi searched THREE times to no avail, no kidding.

Of cos, i had alot of righteous ppl praying for me, haha, and we know the prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

I've long felt Faith was believing what you cannot see. Now I have a new definition, Faith is having no backup plan, but trusting God still. Its not me. Its the God i have faith in.

THANK YOU GOD. :)
Anyways, exams are really disgusting, for all kids, all students. Esp in a country like ours, where education is almost equivalent to money, and a future, when you do badly (at least in the eyes of the State and its blind followers), its not difficult to find even children being thrown into EXISTENTIAL DOUBT. (SORRY GUYS, AP stills haunts me.)

ie. exams can make or break a person, not just in manner of business, or academic future. While it shouldn't dictate our own self-worth, somehow, it just does.

GROSS.
haha, to infinity and beyond!!!

BTW, batman rocks. BATMANBATMANBATMAN!

The About All the Answers.

Its been 6 years since i've been in the youth ministry. Since 1998/9 to now. From the old JEC million fishball days to the CCK sunshine place.

I used to look up to the older youths alot; ppl like sharon, joshua, ferri, so on so forth. I practically looked up to every older youth there was in JEC. Not that i don't now. But I used think that once i reached their age, I would have all the answers, cos to me at that time, they had all the ans.

The most of them are 6 years older than me, so since 6 years have passed since then, I'm now the very age they were, when i looked up to them.

Strange to know that, I don't have all the answers. Its funny to realise that 6 years later, i can't solve everything, and i'm not great at much.

Its not true. Being 6 years older does not warrant wisdom and omnipotence.

6 years. Pretty amazing huh?
So much has changed.

The One About Regrets.

On the topic of names, it is pretty amazing how a name supposedly tells more about you than your ability to quickly react upon hearing it. Seen since the Old/New testament days, God gave people names to reflect their destiny too. Abraham, "The Father of many nations", which he was. Jesus literally meant the Messiah, and Joseph meaning "He will add".. and how Desmond means "from South Muster" and so on and so forth.

But I wonder if it is still the case in modern society. I mean, for us, or for parents in the past century and the one we are in now, is it merely just a fad to have a cool sounding name? Like, did our parents really knew what our names meant before they gave it to us? Maybe, maybe not. At least they gaev us, well, human names. Try Kal-el. Nicholas Cage's son.. That's Superman! Or try this, i went online to find out, Gwyneth Paltrow's and Coldplay's Chris Martin's little Apple, Moonunit and Dweezil Zappa. GAWD!! Seriously? Moonunit? What's next, Keypad Fondue Ringring Martin?! Aren't we all thankful our parents gave us normal names.

But would you change your name, if you could, no strings attached? Or for that matter, change anything that happened before in your life?

I used to think I have no regrets. Up to yesterday when i watched Frequency, on channel 5 that is. Seriously, I love the Saturday night movies. Haha, this show's pretty cool. Its about this guy, John Sullivan. He is a cop, who misses his fireman dad who died 30 years ago, in a fire. Everyday he wonders what would it would be like if his dad never died. Then one day, becos of the Aurora Bureolis, and his father's old radio, he manages to connect to this man through the radio. They talk to each other awhile and they realise this is his Dad, Frank Sullivan. John warns him about his death, and saves him. And suddenly reality changes. His father lived to see his graduation day and all. But still dies of lung cancer cos of excessive smoking. Anyways, saving his dad triggers off other things to change like a series of homicides, including the murder of John's mom. They race against time to save her, and blah blah. But anyways, story cut short, they managed to catch the serial killer, and somehow Frank lived on, and reality changed again.. And Frank and his wife managed to continue on healthy and alive in the new reality. ITS SO NICE!

But, compose myself. Haha, the point is, whatever happened in the past makes you who you are today. Would you then have changed anything if give a chance to?

I always believed I'd would not regret anything. I wouldn't call it regret, but i would say I did have things that i wanna change if i could. No, not the name. Haha, altho the idea of 2 names is really cool. Still, i wonder if i should have changed my personality. My likes/dislikes. Should i have went back in time, reach out my hand and say, "Desmond, no. Don't do this. No Desmond, don't touch that. Desmond, you don't want to care for this person so much. Desmond, no. Let that friend go. Desmond, don't say anything. Desmond, hold your tongue, your arms, your legs. Desmond, no. Don't cry."

I dunno. I want to. But I'm all that i am cos of all those blasted things. I'm thankfully, very, for the friends i have now. Still..... there are so many things that almost daily i think about, wondering, if i could have. Sometimes i wonder if my pining for them is what gives me strength to go on.

Yet despite all the desire to change, there are things i would never want to trade away. My family's one. Another is how I knew God since young. That i really fell in love with Him when i was a little boy. Probably even more then than now.

Today during worship, suddenly it just hit me. I was looking for a love-story. Not bgr, kinda thing. But a relationship.. with a dad, or a mom, a sis, or bro, or a fren. Just like John Sullivan and his love for his dad. I'm still looking for that love-story. But just there and then, it was like, God was saying, "I'm your love story. Search no more. I'm your love story."

What can I say but, "Yes You are. Thank You."

The One about the Name. (You'll get it later.)

1.What time is it now? Not a good time.

2.What is your full name?Ng Wei Kwang (Shane) Desmond. Inside-joke. sort of. hurhur.

3.Single or taken?Oh God, Take me away.

4.What does your name mean? Apparently it means Man of the World, mond is world.How sad, i'm not a man ofGod, but of the world. My sec 2 teacher told me about this site, which i go to every once in a long while to read. just for fun. they cut the analysis by alot now. but.. it still is online. KABALARIANS click it and find my name k! see whether its right. i tink it sort of is. but all these things are often so vague, it applies to almost everyone.

BTW, check this out.. this is way cooler! BEHIND THE NAME DESMOND Says my name is actually of Irish descent. Now, probably no coincidence i love the Irish!! WOOHOO! Made my day.

5.Who picked out your name? I decided on it when i was 2. DUH. My parents.

6.What is your nickname ? dunno. des? i dun really hear ppl calling me by nicknames recently.

7.How old are you?- 17 +1.

8.What colour are your eyes?- red eyed.

9.shoe size?- 9.5? 10?

10.How tall (or short) are you?- im short. 169.5. How sad. But hey! My name's of Irish Descent!! Not that sad afterall!

11.What do you like about yourself?- How bout I like the Person living in my heart.

12.What do you always get complimented on? I dunno. Seriously.. do me a favour, compliment me and cheer me up! Wait. My name's of Irish Descent! I'm happy!

13.What is your worst quality?- Wad. I'm all good. HAHA, k. I'm a bitter person.

16.What are the last four digits of your phone- Why would you like to know? Btw, i didn't delete qns 14 and 15.

17.Do you think you're cute?- Trust me honey, I'm the cutest boy that ever or will ever roam the planet. HAHA, becos i have a name of Irish Descent!

18.Hair colour?- black. jet black.

19.Do you wear contacts?- No. I rather be uncontactable.

20.Living arrangements?- I want to go NZ, or Ireland! Cos i have a name of Irish Descent.. haha, prob move to South Munster.

FAVOURITES-
21.Favourite Drink?- good teh peng? I dunno.

22.Favourite alcoholic drink?- I dun drink. Wait. Haha, the Irish drink lots of beer! K.. i like beer. HAHA, kidding. Alcohol is God's bane to man.

23.Favourite month?- December cos of the south.. i feel the snow in the West, when dec comes. Serious. HAha.

24.Favourite subject?- CME.

25.Favourite board game?- Hate to say this, but i hate board games/comp games/card games. I suck at ALL games.

26.Favourite website?- My hotmail acct, if there's a nice mail waiting. Unfortunately it never happens anymore. So JUNK MAIL is my fav. I love seeing everything cleared.

27.Clothing brand?- Nothing really. I wear wadever i tink is nice. Man, i even wear things i dun tink is nice.

28.Favourite day of the year? Hmmmm. Christmas prob.

29.Favourite colour? Hmm. You know the bluish grey you see in rain clouds just before it rains? I love it. I love the cool, refreshing rain it brings.. It hides you, the darkness almost protects an aching heart.

30.Favourite animal?-ALot, but i realise it is Favourite. So.. haha, walrus?

31.More girl or boy friends?- i dunno? In sch prob girls, hey, my class only 6 guys la. Church is equal i guess/

32.Who's your best friend?- Best frenSSS can?? Haha, they prob know who they are. Love you guys man! You guys are the best... btw, before this sentence becomes all about you guys, i better save it by saying, I have a name of Irish Descent!!

33.Are your parents together?-duh.

34.How often do you get together with the family?- every evening?

35.Do you tell your parents or your friends more?- Frens.. but i choose who i tell. Some pp know nuts.

36.Anything special about your parents?- they can quarrel and make up and my mom ends up angry with me instead. But i guess they're very giving pp. They give others more than their own kids. Joel! Rmb how you guys use to come over to my house for chocs and sweets?? We weren't allowed to eat them, till you guys came lor!

37.Siblings and their ages?- sister brother. Age secret.

YES OR NO-
38.You're a flirt?- I dun need to. I'm charming. I have an Irish descended name.

40.You're mean?-Of cos. Being mean is like my bread and butter. Peanut butter. I like it better.

41.You like someone?- kay poh. if you must know, i like my frens.

42.You can keep secrets?- yea. I can. i dun talk much anyways.. i mean i talk nonsense alot.. haha, but real stuff not very often. I dun like talking, tho it doesn't seem that way but seriously!! haha

43.You dance in front of the mirror?-HAHA, funny you shld ask, since i just did the fat dance yest and ended up laughing at myself.

45.You sing in the shower?-been a long while buster. a long while.

46.You've liked Britney Spears?- NO!! Robot.

47.You've liked a cousin?-Nope.

48.You've been in the opposite sex's bathroom?- Isn't the bathroom unisex. Washroom yea.. by accident and intentionally when my frens invited the guys in to look at blood. It was pri 6!! None of us knew about.... er hem. NEXT!

49.You've seriously hurt someone?-i dunno. with my tongue prob? But maybe not also. You've gotta love someone to be hurt.

50.You've been hurt seriously?- who hasn't? Of cos, somepp nv hurt me. they merely disgust me, and disgust requires no love. o

51.You get your way?-i try to? Heh.

53.You're willing to try new things?- No. I love safe things.

54.You've cheated on a test?- many times in the past. Now no more le. No point.

55.Smoked?- nope. I love my lungs. Probably Irish you know.

57.What colour are your pants?- HUH. I have so many. k now its khaki brown.

58.What are you listening to?-the melody of silence.

59. How are you feeling?- sick. i can feel it coming. and i dun get sick easily. Must be cos i came out of the covering.

60.What are you doing?- Nothing. This.

61.What are you eating?- Woodspeppermint.

62.How many people are online?-does it matter? I'm offline.

63..How's the weather?- i dunno, but its not bothering me so its nice.

64.What's on your mouse pad?- no mouse pad.

65.What books are you reading?-nothing. notes i guess.

66.Whats your favourite hangout place ?- church, at times.

67.What perfume do you use?- nah, dun have. I'm nice smelling enough.

68.What's in your purse/pocket?- You say leh? Money cards.

69.Tall or short boys/girls?- i dunno. long legs are nice. But not taller than me can already. Altho i'm not gonna get married. Too much commitment/responsiblity.

70.Blonde or brunette guys/girls?- Brunette definitely. Loved brunette actresses since young. Yea stereotype i know.

71.Good or bad boy/girl?- I'm good sometimes when i tink i shld, bad when i want to irritate you cos i dun like you? Haha, k everyone is both wad!

72.Boxers showing?-nope.. my pants fit me now, so nothing to drop.

73.Long hair or short hair on girls.?- whatever suits her.

74.What do you find annoying in a guy/girl?- hyprocrisy and backstabbing.

The One about Mr Spaceman.

I've always had this lego man, with an orange visor(?) thing.. and its been with me since young. Its sitting on my table together with another 2 lego men. Anyways, I've decided to make him (them) a part of my bloglife. haha, i.e. I was very bored and refused to study.

ARGH! A's are really soon and i haven't written a gp essay/lit essay since prelims. SIGHSIGHSIGH.

Mr Spaceman doesn't want to go to sch. Look at the PE shirt in the background.








Mr Spaceman doesn't want to study or do work.






Mr Spaceman wants to sleep.









Haha, k, pardon the photos.. i'm not very good at taking photos. I used to say i take pictures no heads one. I took super long to take those few shots, just trying to get Mr Spaceman's face in focus. Of cos, you can see Mr Spaceman has really been a long friend of mine. Hasn't grown much older cos of the lightyears thing.. but he is "creaking bone(d).. battle-weary knight.. (with) rusty armour". His knees have gone soft.. His smile is chipped. But he is still my Mr Spaceman. (I'll get him a name someday, dun worry.)

Till next time Mr Spaceman..
To infinity and beyond!