The relaxed entry
I'm so relaxed now. Not enough energy to be hyper or to do anything else, but just enough to sit, type, watch tv, sing oldies!! Enough to think about stuff. I'm like actualy dying to talk to someone now. Okay, maybe not talk because i can't really do that. Maybe just hang out.. No one online. Strange.
Okay, i'm just gonna say whatever i want at random. Today did sound for prayer. Haha, ok fine, i was just listening to the walkie and relaying msg/ rebutts/ defensive remarks. Haha.. and I can't relay stories for nuts, so the effect was all lost when i relayed the msges.
-lays head back down, on chair. Lift hands and pray. haha, ok no. Just laying my head back down.-
Just realised after i typed tt sentence, has been like almost 45 min or so before i start typing again. I'm tired man. I dun want to continue. Okay, well, i actually typed one whole paragraph, but i backspaced it. My mind's a total blank man. I'm really too sleepy i think. I'm going.
Nite ppl. Our God is good.
HAHAHA, my dad just said going out to get some supper. I'm awake again. Okay, I'm sorry.. week of prayer and fasting. But I didn't eat breakfast and lunch. And almost forgot dinner. =( "hahaa.. don't justify yourself desmonde." I wonder what I'll get. I'll go nap for about 15 min first.
I love you guys.
Pray, get on thy knees for thy fellow brethren whose earthen vessels are inflicted. Hahaha.. What nonsense!! No wonder!! Look at the time ppl, 11.05! My 11pm syndrom is up again! Haha, I mean to say, Pray for ppl ard who are sick. Among these are, alphabetical order, " Elvin, Eric (He's really poofed out la..), Esthers, Joash, Jonathan and somemore others.. Flu's in the air.. drink lots of water. Who do you guys think you are? Me?? hahaahha..
Yup.. end here, real relaxed right? Just telling you about everything and nothing.. :)
Be Blessed! Thank You God.
-----
11.35pm -- Its mee goreng!! with lots of potato!! hahah.. yup. okay.. gonna go sleep after tt.. pray i dun grow fat. haha.. nite again ppl!
Monday, 29 March 2004
Saturday, 27 March 2004
The childcare centre entry.
I trod along the path; I had just gotten off the bus (service number 334). I was returning from morning prayer and breakfast, and was carrying a big bulky box, when i suddenly wondered. A thought just popped out of no where. Who loves?
I had nearly thought there was none who loved. Just then I passed by the childcare centre at the end of the short pathway.
--- enough of essay style writing. i can't do it well. ---
Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible Tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
Yes. That's what i heard. Sung by children. Sung at such a timely moment, when i happened to be questioning. God is so good. And He uses the funniest things to get His point across. How true that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. AND that, that is so reassuring. He's not going to make a mistake.
Yup. His grace is sufficient for us. His cup overflows!! woohoo!!
Can't wait for edge. Can't wait to see how God does His thing again..
I trod along the path; I had just gotten off the bus (service number 334). I was returning from morning prayer and breakfast, and was carrying a big bulky box, when i suddenly wondered. A thought just popped out of no where. Who loves?
I had nearly thought there was none who loved. Just then I passed by the childcare centre at the end of the short pathway.
--- enough of essay style writing. i can't do it well. ---
Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible Tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
Yes. That's what i heard. Sung by children. Sung at such a timely moment, when i happened to be questioning. God is so good. And He uses the funniest things to get His point across. How true that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. AND that, that is so reassuring. He's not going to make a mistake.
Yup. His grace is sufficient for us. His cup overflows!! woohoo!!
Can't wait for edge. Can't wait to see how God does His thing again..
Monday, 22 March 2004
The messed entry.
Wah dey. I really feel like i messed up man. Sighs, my God is a God of second chances is He not?
I just finished showering. Smell nice, feel nice, am nice! Haha, and i was just thinking of some of the comments i heard bout me. Just heard one today. Haha, a normal one for me, as in, its been said of and to me before. And yep, you're right. I don't understand when its said, even tho I understand why its said of me. Its almost as if, i know why I'm 'described' that way, but i don't expect to be called that.
Hmmm..
Then i thought of some nicer comments. And I smiled to myself;" Yea right.Like why did they say what they did?" I have no idea why that was said. But i rmbed there and then, something someone once told me. "You don't have to understand why God loves you, you just have to know.". Guess its the same thing huh? Cos they see what you CAN be, rather than what you are now. That's how God sees us. This was also mentioned in one of the evening srvcs. I thought. And smiled to myself. How true. He has loved you with an everlasting Love.
God is good. Thank God for God. Haven't said that in a long while man.
Have we forgotten the simple things, like just thanking Him for simple stuff? The air that we breathe, the grace He gives us that we can live for the next moment? Nice to think of His goodness for simple things like these. Cos it makes you realise that He is really God. And He has all right to zap you up right now. But He chooses to let you live another moment, and another moment, and another moment. and another second, and another mili second and it goes on. He makes the decision every moment to let us live for the next; all becos He has a good plan for us. An unmatchable plan.
Boy, He is good.
More than the air I breathe
More than song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back
To my old life
Cos I never want to go back to... my old life.
Thank You Lord.
Wah dey. I really feel like i messed up man. Sighs, my God is a God of second chances is He not?
I just finished showering. Smell nice, feel nice, am nice! Haha, and i was just thinking of some of the comments i heard bout me. Just heard one today. Haha, a normal one for me, as in, its been said of and to me before. And yep, you're right. I don't understand when its said, even tho I understand why its said of me. Its almost as if, i know why I'm 'described' that way, but i don't expect to be called that.
Hmmm..
Then i thought of some nicer comments. And I smiled to myself;" Yea right.Like why did they say what they did?" I have no idea why that was said. But i rmbed there and then, something someone once told me. "You don't have to understand why God loves you, you just have to know.". Guess its the same thing huh? Cos they see what you CAN be, rather than what you are now. That's how God sees us. This was also mentioned in one of the evening srvcs. I thought. And smiled to myself. How true. He has loved you with an everlasting Love.
God is good. Thank God for God. Haven't said that in a long while man.
Have we forgotten the simple things, like just thanking Him for simple stuff? The air that we breathe, the grace He gives us that we can live for the next moment? Nice to think of His goodness for simple things like these. Cos it makes you realise that He is really God. And He has all right to zap you up right now. But He chooses to let you live another moment, and another moment, and another moment. and another second, and another mili second and it goes on. He makes the decision every moment to let us live for the next; all becos He has a good plan for us. An unmatchable plan.
Boy, He is good.
More than the air I breathe
More than song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back
To my old life
Cos I never want to go back to... my old life.
Thank You Lord.
Thursday, 18 March 2004
The Synergized Entry.
Yep, I'm back from conference. Nice, conference was nice. Think the main focus i gathered from the Planet Shakers band was to be free in worship.
This is getting boring huh? Yup, I'll say whatever happened these few days that had deep impacts on me.
My fun-nest moment?? Guess it'll have to be helping to sell the t-shirts. Haha, i was there buying shirts for some of the guys, and i stood beside the table, happened to be, i knew the lady at the counter (for less than 15 min from that time). And i have no idea up till now why ppl started asking me what size was this, any other cuts. I told them,"Huh, erm.. this is.. erm..*compares with another shirt*.. the .. erm.. bigger one!! And erm, i'm not from the stall..*sheepish smile*." Haha, and they're like so taken back, "Ohh.. erm.. sorry.."
Guess maybe God wanted me to help her. The stall really had alot of ppl everywhere. As in asking questions from everywhere of the table, which wasn't very big anyway, like 4 CCK sanctuary chairs. I took one half of the table and she took the other half. And i got her to tell me what size is what size. Then after that, i morphed into Salesman Desmond! "Yes yes, this is the largest we have, haha, im sorry.. but it fits you fine lar!! Dun need so big.." or "Yep, this is the smallest, but if you want, we have a ladies cut (the baby cut) but that has only one size, M. That's pretty small.. so can fit you one lar! What's the difference you say? Oh, the sleeves are cut yea.. " and after all that," Okay, thank you thank you, that'll be 20 bucks. *wide smile* "
And after the exicitement and all, I was just like looking at the lady (Whose name i also dunno!!!!!!!!) and like smiling tiredly, and she's like," Thank You desmond, ohh you wanted shirts right?" And then i went yah.. She starts laughing and says," Yea, haha.. after you asked for the 8 thousand time." Haha.. yea. It was then i realised my intention there was to get elvin, jerome's and sam's shirts. Haha, i knew sam and jerome wanted M, cos at least joel didn't reply me to tell me they had complains when i asked him. But elvin.. yea.. the one i had no idea what to get. Cos S and M didn't seem to have much diff. And angel ruixiong and weiling were like.. M. But i was wondering becos i always wear same size as him, and i got S. So we were wondering, and then the lady, she found this weird shirt that was slightly smaller than M, but bigger than S and i got it for him! God really blessed, hope it fits well elvin!!
The lady was like, "See? becos you wanted to bless others, God blessed you!" I laughed.. haha, when we were buying our own shirts, an hour before i helped sell, the guy selling asked what region of VFC we were from. I said, "Erm.. the best?" and the lady was there, and she asked angel if i was the cutest (as in silly) guy in the region. Haha, i was very happy naturally. Becos, when you try to be crappy and no one laughs its quite demoralising. hahaha.. esp since its from some nice lady, its better! To think i knew her from helping her usher in ppl on mon night as i was waiting for someone.. hahah.
Yep, said so much. Only one part of the conference. But it really picked me up.. the going crazy selling the shirts, perspiring, (not to mention being beside some good looking lady whose name and church i not know of!!!) and running ard getting this and that for him and her and them. I was pretty much feeling weird thruout the conference and selling the shirts was sort of God's way of saying," Hey, I'm still your Daddy you know, I can still make things happen for you!" He made me glad, without me having to ask. And i was so supremely happy selling the stuff. (becos the lady was nice and warm and pretty? )haha.. More than that, nice to see the smile on ppl's faces when they get the shirts. And being crappy and crazy, knowing that all you did was unto God.
Planet shakers was good, the jumps were good, the claps were good, the dances were fun, NOPE, NOT those by the pink hair and his fren. Thise were silly. The Jesus Cheer was so fun! Yep, and God speaks and shows, like stuff that is what the Evans guy sees and hears. Fun..
Bottom line is God rocks, His children have liberty in Him, have everything.. and more than that, the victory in Him!!
Amen. Thank You God. ( help me find the lady again please God..) *smile*
Yep, I'm back from conference. Nice, conference was nice. Think the main focus i gathered from the Planet Shakers band was to be free in worship.
This is getting boring huh? Yup, I'll say whatever happened these few days that had deep impacts on me.
My fun-nest moment?? Guess it'll have to be helping to sell the t-shirts. Haha, i was there buying shirts for some of the guys, and i stood beside the table, happened to be, i knew the lady at the counter (for less than 15 min from that time). And i have no idea up till now why ppl started asking me what size was this, any other cuts. I told them,"Huh, erm.. this is.. erm..*compares with another shirt*.. the .. erm.. bigger one!! And erm, i'm not from the stall..*sheepish smile*." Haha, and they're like so taken back, "Ohh.. erm.. sorry.."
Guess maybe God wanted me to help her. The stall really had alot of ppl everywhere. As in asking questions from everywhere of the table, which wasn't very big anyway, like 4 CCK sanctuary chairs. I took one half of the table and she took the other half. And i got her to tell me what size is what size. Then after that, i morphed into Salesman Desmond! "Yes yes, this is the largest we have, haha, im sorry.. but it fits you fine lar!! Dun need so big.." or "Yep, this is the smallest, but if you want, we have a ladies cut (the baby cut) but that has only one size, M. That's pretty small.. so can fit you one lar! What's the difference you say? Oh, the sleeves are cut yea.. " and after all that," Okay, thank you thank you, that'll be 20 bucks. *wide smile* "
And after the exicitement and all, I was just like looking at the lady (Whose name i also dunno!!!!!!!!) and like smiling tiredly, and she's like," Thank You desmond, ohh you wanted shirts right?" And then i went yah.. She starts laughing and says," Yea, haha.. after you asked for the 8 thousand time." Haha.. yea. It was then i realised my intention there was to get elvin, jerome's and sam's shirts. Haha, i knew sam and jerome wanted M, cos at least joel didn't reply me to tell me they had complains when i asked him. But elvin.. yea.. the one i had no idea what to get. Cos S and M didn't seem to have much diff. And angel ruixiong and weiling were like.. M. But i was wondering becos i always wear same size as him, and i got S. So we were wondering, and then the lady, she found this weird shirt that was slightly smaller than M, but bigger than S and i got it for him! God really blessed, hope it fits well elvin!!
The lady was like, "See? becos you wanted to bless others, God blessed you!" I laughed.. haha, when we were buying our own shirts, an hour before i helped sell, the guy selling asked what region of VFC we were from. I said, "Erm.. the best?" and the lady was there, and she asked angel if i was the cutest (as in silly) guy in the region. Haha, i was very happy naturally. Becos, when you try to be crappy and no one laughs its quite demoralising. hahaha.. esp since its from some nice lady, its better! To think i knew her from helping her usher in ppl on mon night as i was waiting for someone.. hahah.
Yep, said so much. Only one part of the conference. But it really picked me up.. the going crazy selling the shirts, perspiring, (not to mention being beside some good looking lady whose name and church i not know of!!!) and running ard getting this and that for him and her and them. I was pretty much feeling weird thruout the conference and selling the shirts was sort of God's way of saying," Hey, I'm still your Daddy you know, I can still make things happen for you!" He made me glad, without me having to ask. And i was so supremely happy selling the stuff. (becos the lady was nice and warm and pretty? )haha.. More than that, nice to see the smile on ppl's faces when they get the shirts. And being crappy and crazy, knowing that all you did was unto God.
Planet shakers was good, the jumps were good, the claps were good, the dances were fun, NOPE, NOT those by the pink hair and his fren. Thise were silly. The Jesus Cheer was so fun! Yep, and God speaks and shows, like stuff that is what the Evans guy sees and hears. Fun..
Bottom line is God rocks, His children have liberty in Him, have everything.. and more than that, the victory in Him!!
Amen. Thank You God. ( help me find the lady again please God..) *smile*
Tuesday, 9 March 2004
The Weepy Entry
I just heard a song. And Its a weepy song. Haha, Remember Missin' You? Yup. I found it's cousin song. Hahah.. a song that has the capacity of making me cry that badly.And i mean badly. Thank God no one was home then. Haha.. what is it you ask? I'm not saying. Get those brain juices going!! I'll drop hints. So fun so fun. Haha..
Yesterday was cold weather day. So supremely cold! So i woke up this morning, my fingers numb and cold. Haha, i slept with the fan on last night!! Haha.. What has it got to do with the song you ask? Well, Nothing much, just had to say something about the day being cold, since everyone else is doing it.
Yesterday, they were askin for help encounter this sat. I rmb the last time i helped in encounter, Gp. I rmb when i did it,it was only the 5th or 6th time i did Gp, and it was the best i ever did. Honestly, none of my other Gp-ings could be compared to that time i did it. It was for the single men, Elvin was leading, Bro Mohan shared. Ok.. that was morning. After that at the combined men session (married and single ya??), i wasn't on duty. So i just sat quietly outside. And when i went in to take a peek, immediately i rushed out. Hey, you would too if you saw a whole room of men crying. And mind you, I cry more easily than all of them. So to save myself from crying, natural thing to do is come out lah.
That's the first clue.
I'll give you 2 clues at a time.
Crying men at the encounter. Why? Becos bro andrew was telling of Jesus's walk to the cross. That passage to death. Man, gives me goosebumps.
That measure of love. Nothing would stop Him from dying. Even if it was that scary. Bet you His fingers were numb and cold. Bet you he was trembling. Bet you He never once stopped praying and talking to God. Bet you He felt lonely and cold, yet His face was burning from all the stares and the laughter and the mocking.
Why did He do it then? For the lost? The dying?
For you.
Even if its was only you whom He could save, He would have continued on. No. I'm not speaking to some unsaved person here. Sure He died for them. But I'm speaking to the saved, the ones called Children of the Almighty. The ones who constantly forget His great love becos we are so accustomed to it.
No more game. I'll give you the song.
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my Dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
You said He was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow He knew things would get stormy
Boy was He right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something He had to hide
So after He left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"
"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"
-Why?
Nichole Nordeman.
Hah, cried again. I keep forgetting that great Love. I keep looking towards myself and see the failures and the nonsense and unworthiness in me. Do we forget that great Love has conquered all? Why then are we living in our own worlds as if the whole world owes us? That God owes us? Don't you think it hurts Him? I'm guilty of all that. We owe Him. Not the other way around.
Nice song.. very weepy.. =)
I just heard a song. And Its a weepy song. Haha, Remember Missin' You? Yup. I found it's cousin song. Hahah.. a song that has the capacity of making me cry that badly.And i mean badly. Thank God no one was home then. Haha.. what is it you ask? I'm not saying. Get those brain juices going!! I'll drop hints. So fun so fun. Haha..
Yesterday was cold weather day. So supremely cold! So i woke up this morning, my fingers numb and cold. Haha, i slept with the fan on last night!! Haha.. What has it got to do with the song you ask? Well, Nothing much, just had to say something about the day being cold, since everyone else is doing it.
Yesterday, they were askin for help encounter this sat. I rmb the last time i helped in encounter, Gp. I rmb when i did it,it was only the 5th or 6th time i did Gp, and it was the best i ever did. Honestly, none of my other Gp-ings could be compared to that time i did it. It was for the single men, Elvin was leading, Bro Mohan shared. Ok.. that was morning. After that at the combined men session (married and single ya??), i wasn't on duty. So i just sat quietly outside. And when i went in to take a peek, immediately i rushed out. Hey, you would too if you saw a whole room of men crying. And mind you, I cry more easily than all of them. So to save myself from crying, natural thing to do is come out lah.
That's the first clue.
I'll give you 2 clues at a time.
Crying men at the encounter. Why? Becos bro andrew was telling of Jesus's walk to the cross. That passage to death. Man, gives me goosebumps.
That measure of love. Nothing would stop Him from dying. Even if it was that scary. Bet you His fingers were numb and cold. Bet you he was trembling. Bet you He never once stopped praying and talking to God. Bet you He felt lonely and cold, yet His face was burning from all the stares and the laughter and the mocking.
Why did He do it then? For the lost? The dying?
For you.
Even if its was only you whom He could save, He would have continued on. No. I'm not speaking to some unsaved person here. Sure He died for them. But I'm speaking to the saved, the ones called Children of the Almighty. The ones who constantly forget His great love becos we are so accustomed to it.
No more game. I'll give you the song.
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my Dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
You said He was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow He knew things would get stormy
Boy was He right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something He had to hide
So after He left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"
"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"
-Why?
Nichole Nordeman.
Hah, cried again. I keep forgetting that great Love. I keep looking towards myself and see the failures and the nonsense and unworthiness in me. Do we forget that great Love has conquered all? Why then are we living in our own worlds as if the whole world owes us? That God owes us? Don't you think it hurts Him? I'm guilty of all that. We owe Him. Not the other way around.
Nice song.. very weepy.. =)
Thursday, 4 March 2004
The new-template entry
Hmmm.. Got a new template. Hahaha.. i did like major changes to it loh. Hah.. i'm mean. Just can't get rid of the silly {fellowship} stuff. It doesn't flow with my blog. AT ALL. Hahah.. arh.. leave it first. Hahah. Man.. really tough looking at the html codes and stuff. Had to employ my specs lor, to save me from the blurness. Hahaha.. everything is about me. Hahah.. well... read on if you want. If not.. just read on. hahah
Today i watched this korean drama. Now now, I am not a big fan of such stuff, especially soapy cry-yee korean dramas, but this part totally tickled me. Heh, the elder brother was talking to his younger brother [ da zhong] about how he wanted to keep his illness a secret from the rest of the family. So the older brother is saying, " I don't want to tell them becos i dun want a whole family crying. I can't do anything with a family that's crying ridiculously. So you mustn't tell them, you get me?" And the camera zooms back to Da zhong.. who is crying uncontrollably by that time. So much for, don't tell them becos i fear they would cry.
Why was I tickled you ask? Of cos its not only becos of that. I was laughing my head off becos it just reminded me of me. Hah.. its like elvin's talking to me and before he can finish his sentence, I'm crying buckets and swimming pools of water.. WITH extra chemicals.. known in lay-man terms as mucus. I tell you, i was like," Yea Da Zhong.. cry it all out. Hahah.. i know how it feels to keep sniffing though the mucus jsut rebelliously comes down in the end.". Then i turn to the elder brother and say, " Do da ges' fear crying siao dis'?"
Anyways, that was pretty much the funny part of my life today. Hahha.. nah lah.. just that when i saw this scene, i just knew within the depths of my soul and spirit that i need to blog it down. Hahhaha.. yup, nothing spiritual about it. But once again.. tho its utterly cliche in my blog, THANK GOD for da ges who can stand weepy sobby cry-yee siao dis... hahah.. like yours truly.
God stinking rules. The way He meets you in your most desperate moments just blows my mind. How? I don't know. He rules. He does. Man.. He's totally in love with you. NUTS about you. ARGH! hahaha.. so wonderful... yep.. He's there when you cry, when you laugh, when you fall, when you rise, when you push Him away, when you call out to Him... He's always there. Don't ask me how.. I never know. But I'm always awed. My God is an awesome God..
Hmmm.. Got a new template. Hahaha.. i did like major changes to it loh. Hah.. i'm mean. Just can't get rid of the silly {fellowship} stuff. It doesn't flow with my blog. AT ALL. Hahah.. arh.. leave it first. Hahah. Man.. really tough looking at the html codes and stuff. Had to employ my specs lor, to save me from the blurness. Hahaha.. everything is about me. Hahah.. well... read on if you want. If not.. just read on. hahah
Today i watched this korean drama. Now now, I am not a big fan of such stuff, especially soapy cry-yee korean dramas, but this part totally tickled me. Heh, the elder brother was talking to his younger brother [ da zhong] about how he wanted to keep his illness a secret from the rest of the family. So the older brother is saying, " I don't want to tell them becos i dun want a whole family crying. I can't do anything with a family that's crying ridiculously. So you mustn't tell them, you get me?" And the camera zooms back to Da zhong.. who is crying uncontrollably by that time. So much for, don't tell them becos i fear they would cry.
Why was I tickled you ask? Of cos its not only becos of that. I was laughing my head off becos it just reminded me of me. Hah.. its like elvin's talking to me and before he can finish his sentence, I'm crying buckets and swimming pools of water.. WITH extra chemicals.. known in lay-man terms as mucus. I tell you, i was like," Yea Da Zhong.. cry it all out. Hahah.. i know how it feels to keep sniffing though the mucus jsut rebelliously comes down in the end.". Then i turn to the elder brother and say, " Do da ges' fear crying siao dis'?"
Anyways, that was pretty much the funny part of my life today. Hahha.. nah lah.. just that when i saw this scene, i just knew within the depths of my soul and spirit that i need to blog it down. Hahhaha.. yup, nothing spiritual about it. But once again.. tho its utterly cliche in my blog, THANK GOD for da ges who can stand weepy sobby cry-yee siao dis... hahah.. like yours truly.
God stinking rules. The way He meets you in your most desperate moments just blows my mind. How? I don't know. He rules. He does. Man.. He's totally in love with you. NUTS about you. ARGH! hahaha.. so wonderful... yep.. He's there when you cry, when you laugh, when you fall, when you rise, when you push Him away, when you call out to Him... He's always there. Don't ask me how.. I never know. But I'm always awed. My God is an awesome God..
Wednesday, 3 March 2004
The nut entry
Lah Lah Lah!!! What's this blogger world without THE blogger?? Hahaha.. going to watch big fish later!! Hope we catch a BIG fish. Was hoping my net members come and the other nets too.. so we can catch the movie together. Get it? NETS? CATCH the movie together? BIG FISH? Haha, man, I'm good.
Okay. if you didn't get it, either I'm too good OR.. I'm too good. If you did, well done!! Give yourself a pat on your back!!
[Haha, been stuck at this line for like so long now.]
Okay, back. Hmm.. mushroom swiss!! Turkey Bacon!!! Awww... man. Can't wait to eat. BK. Love it like anything man. Just give it to me. Give me some BK VIP card. ARGH!!!! BK!!
I was reminded of the past events that happened. God's words, His visions. Have we forgotten?? Were we too consumed in ourselves that we 'conviniently' leave Him out of the picture? I don't know. I was reminded of one thing also. The 10000000000000000 BK meals that some guy owes me. No exclamtion mark. Hahah.. yea right.. !!!!!!!!!!!
Man.. fun looking back sometimes to just see what God has done. Over the months and years. Its so exciting. Whoever said christians are a boring bunch of ppl. Man.. have they no sense of the CRAZY-NESS of our God? Hahaha.. wacko.. crazy.. OUT OF THIS WORLD!! Yet.. terribly sane. Hmmm..
[ARGH!! I can't see properly!! Going to get my geeky nerdy specs]
It's worst!!! Now its too clear.. man.. giving me headache.
Okay. Took it off.. hahaha.. BK BK BK!!!! hahah.. craving's here again!!! Hahahah.. argh argh argh!! Hahah.. when we give stuff up, there's this certain strength that comes. Think about when we give it up.. but to God, what kind of strength comes. His JOY. His strength. HIS. HIS. PPL? HIS!! Get it? HIS? It's the Almighty's. It's the God of all creation's. It's the Lord's strength, joy, peace, love, warmth, fun that we get in exchange for the things that suposedly stain our life.
Like where do you a better extra value meal? MAN!!! Like.. i'm just disgusted by BK now lor. Why don't they give such good deals like the Master Chef ( God.. like duh?) does? takes your nonsense.. and gives you good stuff for it. The Menu (the bible like duh?) even says He gives us free BK's (Beautfiful King's) very own clothes and oil!! Like garments of praise and oil of joy!! MAN!!! where to get lor!! now i tink burger king stinks. [REF: Isaiah 61:3]
Haha.. okay.. going for Burger King now. Hahah. Nah.. i still love burger king.. In fact. I'm going to link it. Hahaha..
Here goes: Burger King .
God rules. He does!! YEAH!!!!!
Lah Lah Lah!!! What's this blogger world without THE blogger?? Hahaha.. going to watch big fish later!! Hope we catch a BIG fish. Was hoping my net members come and the other nets too.. so we can catch the movie together. Get it? NETS? CATCH the movie together? BIG FISH? Haha, man, I'm good.
Okay. if you didn't get it, either I'm too good OR.. I'm too good. If you did, well done!! Give yourself a pat on your back!!
[Haha, been stuck at this line for like so long now.]
Okay, back. Hmm.. mushroom swiss!! Turkey Bacon!!! Awww... man. Can't wait to eat. BK. Love it like anything man. Just give it to me. Give me some BK VIP card. ARGH!!!! BK!!
I was reminded of the past events that happened. God's words, His visions. Have we forgotten?? Were we too consumed in ourselves that we 'conviniently' leave Him out of the picture? I don't know. I was reminded of one thing also. The 10000000000000000 BK meals that some guy owes me. No exclamtion mark. Hahah.. yea right.. !!!!!!!!!!!
Man.. fun looking back sometimes to just see what God has done. Over the months and years. Its so exciting. Whoever said christians are a boring bunch of ppl. Man.. have they no sense of the CRAZY-NESS of our God? Hahaha.. wacko.. crazy.. OUT OF THIS WORLD!! Yet.. terribly sane. Hmmm..
[ARGH!! I can't see properly!! Going to get my geeky nerdy specs]
It's worst!!! Now its too clear.. man.. giving me headache.
Okay. Took it off.. hahaha.. BK BK BK!!!! hahah.. craving's here again!!! Hahahah.. argh argh argh!! Hahah.. when we give stuff up, there's this certain strength that comes. Think about when we give it up.. but to God, what kind of strength comes. His JOY. His strength. HIS. HIS. PPL? HIS!! Get it? HIS? It's the Almighty's. It's the God of all creation's. It's the Lord's strength, joy, peace, love, warmth, fun that we get in exchange for the things that suposedly stain our life.
Like where do you a better extra value meal? MAN!!! Like.. i'm just disgusted by BK now lor. Why don't they give such good deals like the Master Chef ( God.. like duh?) does? takes your nonsense.. and gives you good stuff for it. The Menu (the bible like duh?) even says He gives us free BK's (Beautfiful King's) very own clothes and oil!! Like garments of praise and oil of joy!! MAN!!! where to get lor!! now i tink burger king stinks. [REF: Isaiah 61:3]
Haha.. okay.. going for Burger King now. Hahah. Nah.. i still love burger king.. In fact. I'm going to link it. Hahaha..
Here goes: Burger King .
God rules. He does!! YEAH!!!!!
Monday, 1 March 2004
The I'm back entry.
I'm back. As in real entries after 2 weeks. That's short. Missed blogging? Abit, why else am i here? How can one ever shut his mouth and deny it from speaking the greatness of that One without feeling bad? That beautiful, majestic, personal One. I don't know how.
Ever felt as though you've failed God? Failed ppl? Failed everyone and yourself? Ever felt like a big fat failure? Ever felt so insignificant? Ever felt so forgotten? Ever felt like there's so many ppl there but still no one's there?
Ever felt like you have so much to say but can never say it? Ever felt if God forgot you? Ever felt if you disappointed person after person whom you love so much? Ever felt as though you let God down?
Ever felt so lost and frustrated with why things happen and why they don't? Ever felt like you want to draw close but ppl pull away? Ever felt so rejected that you give up? Ever felt like you stink? Ever felt so fake; as though you're not who you seem? Ever felt like you've lost the battle--defeated?
Ever felt so shameful that you screwed up? Ever felt as though you want to just let the tears come freely down without holding it back... if only you weren't so tired or had to be 'strong'?
Ever felt that you stumbled and fell?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling...
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
I hear you whispering my name you say
My love for you will never change never change..
-DC talk
What if I stumbled
That's it. He never said you couldn't cry. He said "Come to Me." The Love still continues. The grace still continues. the walk still continues.
Amen.
I'm back. As in real entries after 2 weeks. That's short. Missed blogging? Abit, why else am i here? How can one ever shut his mouth and deny it from speaking the greatness of that One without feeling bad? That beautiful, majestic, personal One. I don't know how.
Ever felt as though you've failed God? Failed ppl? Failed everyone and yourself? Ever felt like a big fat failure? Ever felt so insignificant? Ever felt so forgotten? Ever felt like there's so many ppl there but still no one's there?
Ever felt like you have so much to say but can never say it? Ever felt if God forgot you? Ever felt if you disappointed person after person whom you love so much? Ever felt as though you let God down?
Ever felt so lost and frustrated with why things happen and why they don't? Ever felt like you want to draw close but ppl pull away? Ever felt so rejected that you give up? Ever felt like you stink? Ever felt so fake; as though you're not who you seem? Ever felt like you've lost the battle--defeated?
Ever felt so shameful that you screwed up? Ever felt as though you want to just let the tears come freely down without holding it back... if only you weren't so tired or had to be 'strong'?
Ever felt that you stumbled and fell?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling...
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
I hear you whispering my name you say
My love for you will never change never change..
-DC talk
What if I stumbled
That's it. He never said you couldn't cry. He said "Come to Me." The Love still continues. The grace still continues. the walk still continues.
Amen.
Saturday, 28 February 2004
Monday, 16 February 2004
The 'hot tears' entry
The Israel team came back today. Heh, the whole thing was elaborate, with banners (which fabian and i held) and flowers. And Joy has long hair now!!
Anyways, I'm glad they're all back, especially uncle david. I still rmb the day he left, i cried, at the expense of my image ( image? haha.. i guess not at the expense, considering my image is that of crying anyways). But at that point i was so sad that someone who played a vital role in my growing up in the cw was going.
Yah, and today when he came back, He was like the first person i wanted to hug. Okay, i know im not close to him, and he's not close to me. But i really just wanted to hug him when he came back. And i was thinking to myself, " Man, if i hold the banner how to hug him?!" So when he came over to me, i reached out my hand to shake his. And he hugged me.. and i was like," Woah.. look at the tears in his eyes man.." The words 'Hot tears' just popped in my head. I was like so happy loh, felt so proud of him.
And after tt, as we were going home, i was thinking about the whole thing again. And i was so challenged by him. The joy on his face.. its like the joy of missions. (not the Joy of the chengs.. haha) And i told myself, i was determined to have these hot tears on my cheeks. To have that gratitude to God, that joy that comes from serving Him, that joy that comes when you've tasted of God's protection, mercy, grace, and faithfulness. So much so that it will just flow out of your life, and that you will not be able to contain that gratitude, and that it will come out as tears, and laughter, and worship and love for Him.
I want to be a person that will always be more grateful for God's mercy and love each day. The friends He gives, the time He gives, the support He gives (realised this list is in-exhaustable?).
AMEN!!
I need You more, More than yesterday
I need You more, More than words can say
I need You more, Than ever before
I need You more, I need You Lord.
More than the air I breathe More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat More than anything
And Lord as time goes by I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back To my old life......
The Israel team came back today. Heh, the whole thing was elaborate, with banners (which fabian and i held) and flowers. And Joy has long hair now!!
Anyways, I'm glad they're all back, especially uncle david. I still rmb the day he left, i cried, at the expense of my image ( image? haha.. i guess not at the expense, considering my image is that of crying anyways). But at that point i was so sad that someone who played a vital role in my growing up in the cw was going.
Yah, and today when he came back, He was like the first person i wanted to hug. Okay, i know im not close to him, and he's not close to me. But i really just wanted to hug him when he came back. And i was thinking to myself, " Man, if i hold the banner how to hug him?!" So when he came over to me, i reached out my hand to shake his. And he hugged me.. and i was like," Woah.. look at the tears in his eyes man.." The words 'Hot tears' just popped in my head. I was like so happy loh, felt so proud of him.
And after tt, as we were going home, i was thinking about the whole thing again. And i was so challenged by him. The joy on his face.. its like the joy of missions. (not the Joy of the chengs.. haha) And i told myself, i was determined to have these hot tears on my cheeks. To have that gratitude to God, that joy that comes from serving Him, that joy that comes when you've tasted of God's protection, mercy, grace, and faithfulness. So much so that it will just flow out of your life, and that you will not be able to contain that gratitude, and that it will come out as tears, and laughter, and worship and love for Him.
I want to be a person that will always be more grateful for God's mercy and love each day. The friends He gives, the time He gives, the support He gives (realised this list is in-exhaustable?).
AMEN!!
I need You more, More than yesterday
I need You more, More than words can say
I need You more, Than ever before
I need You more, I need You Lord.
More than the air I breathe More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat More than anything
And Lord as time goes by I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back To my old life......
Sunday, 15 February 2004
The water Entry
Today at the edge, God just blew me away. And I'm so wow-ed by His goodness and glory. Ever seen a God who never fails to amaze you, and your friends, and practically everyone who's there at the service? Well, I sure have. This God is just stinking awesome!
Well, as we begin the service, we had no seats, so Region F youths were rather scattered. And it wasn't nice for our guest Lily Jie. But nevertheless, we got our seats and sitting partners. (ok, fine. Sitting buddies if you must..) I sat with the young girls from CW and esther tan, colleen in some unknown territory. So i felt abit out of place.
Anyways, whilst we were searching far and wide for our seats, the praise had already started.Anyways, I was just praising and singing (Okay fine!! Trying to sing yah!?! Better for you?), i begin to see stuff that God was saying to me.
I saw a scene of the low-lying hills, like taken on a helicoptor, at night. It was a awesome sight. Simply stunning.But there was one problem. The scene was like movie style? Had 2 black lines above and below the scene, so what i saw was just part of a bigger picture (I didn't know what laid beyond the hills and the black lines). So i continued singing, worshipping. And God seemed to say, " That's your vision, your scope of vision."
Then a few minutes later, i see the same scene, the beautiful, but 'cut' vision of hills tainted blue by the night and moonlight. And as i continued to watch, the black lines moved away from the vision, and as the top black line was moved out, i saw what laid byond the hills -- water. An ocean of sparkling white water. White becos of moonlight. And God said, "This is MY scope of vision. Start seeing through MY eyes. start seeing through Godly vision and see beyond." And as i went on, I slowly understood the water thing. Where there is water, there is life. And God showed me an ocean of water. Not a river, not a pond, but a stinking ocean so big i couldn't see the ends.
Where there is water, there is life.
And I'm like, man.. "You sure its You, God?". Cos will God reveal so much in one worship session? So i asked for confirmation, and totally forgot bout pressing in for my confirmation later during service. I was just listening to Sis Anna, who gave an awesome sermon!! And what stuns me was that after prayer for ppl after sermon, Jeremy Seaward decided to tell everyone what he intended to tell only the net leaders. And guess what it was about?
So clever. =)
About God asking Abraham to lift up His eyes and to see through God's eyes. To see beyond. To see life in a land of barreness.
I was like, "oh.my.word.woah."
Where there is the Living Water, there is life.
Are we seeing through His eyes in our situations? No matter how barren and dry and desolate and beyond-hope the circumstances are, can we choose to see through His eyes? Becos when we do, we see water, Living Water, Life and God Himself in our situation.
I want to see through Your eyes dear God, Help me. Give me grace and vision.
Amen.
Today at the edge, God just blew me away. And I'm so wow-ed by His goodness and glory. Ever seen a God who never fails to amaze you, and your friends, and practically everyone who's there at the service? Well, I sure have. This God is just stinking awesome!
Well, as we begin the service, we had no seats, so Region F youths were rather scattered. And it wasn't nice for our guest Lily Jie. But nevertheless, we got our seats and sitting partners. (ok, fine. Sitting buddies if you must..) I sat with the young girls from CW and esther tan, colleen in some unknown territory. So i felt abit out of place.
Anyways, whilst we were searching far and wide for our seats, the praise had already started.Anyways, I was just praising and singing (Okay fine!! Trying to sing yah!?! Better for you?), i begin to see stuff that God was saying to me.
I saw a scene of the low-lying hills, like taken on a helicoptor, at night. It was a awesome sight. Simply stunning.But there was one problem. The scene was like movie style? Had 2 black lines above and below the scene, so what i saw was just part of a bigger picture (I didn't know what laid beyond the hills and the black lines). So i continued singing, worshipping. And God seemed to say, " That's your vision, your scope of vision."
Then a few minutes later, i see the same scene, the beautiful, but 'cut' vision of hills tainted blue by the night and moonlight. And as i continued to watch, the black lines moved away from the vision, and as the top black line was moved out, i saw what laid byond the hills -- water. An ocean of sparkling white water. White becos of moonlight. And God said, "This is MY scope of vision. Start seeing through MY eyes. start seeing through Godly vision and see beyond." And as i went on, I slowly understood the water thing. Where there is water, there is life. And God showed me an ocean of water. Not a river, not a pond, but a stinking ocean so big i couldn't see the ends.
Where there is water, there is life.
And I'm like, man.. "You sure its You, God?". Cos will God reveal so much in one worship session? So i asked for confirmation, and totally forgot bout pressing in for my confirmation later during service. I was just listening to Sis Anna, who gave an awesome sermon!! And what stuns me was that after prayer for ppl after sermon, Jeremy Seaward decided to tell everyone what he intended to tell only the net leaders. And guess what it was about?
So clever. =)
About God asking Abraham to lift up His eyes and to see through God's eyes. To see beyond. To see life in a land of barreness.
I was like, "oh.my.word.woah."
Where there is the Living Water, there is life.
Are we seeing through His eyes in our situations? No matter how barren and dry and desolate and beyond-hope the circumstances are, can we choose to see through His eyes? Becos when we do, we see water, Living Water, Life and God Himself in our situation.
I want to see through Your eyes dear God, Help me. Give me grace and vision.
Amen.
Thursday, 12 February 2004
The re-written entry
Haha.. I wrote like a few paragraphs and totally did away with it all. Hah..This my frens, is NOT wisdom. Hahahaha.... yah yah.. Okay, so i am re-writing my entry. What oh what shall i blog today? Man.. The awesomeness of my God. I'm blown away by His majesty and cool-ness.
Today i had dinner with *salute*... Chief! She set me thinking. Just stopped me in my tracks and sort of unknowingly caused me to ponder on things i don't want to think about. Haha, things that i don't want to think about although i should. Arh, God is good. He's just pounding and knocking on that carved wooden door of your heart, making certain that you will come out victorious! This is how much He cares. How much He bothers. Let us be reminded He is a King and doesn't need to care bout you. But He does. He does. He does. Thank God He does.
These past few weeks, I really gave up on stuff.. hehe.. even sometimes, some ppl. ( Okay, I'm sorry, It's tiring to just keep trying and nothing changes?) But heh, It's like God send Chief to tell me. (tho she was't exactly telling me not to give up-- she just said stuff that sort of revives me again?). And I'm willing to try again. Not for everything. Some things really have to be left behind and in the past. But some things were meant to be yours, don't just "wadever" it away.
I 'wadeva-ed' alot of my stuff away. My passion for one. I wadev-ed it away. Other stuff close to my heart. I wadeva-ed it away. Persons that I love, wadeva-ing tthem away. Strangely those stuff that should be left in the past, I didn't 'wadeva' it away. Haha.. they just grew out of my life through God's divine working.
But what God gives you, nothing can take away!! 'Cept you and Him of cos.
But my point is, like said last time, God doesn't bother how screwed-up your life is. If that's His plan for you, and you are humble, humbled and repentant, He always has ways to re-direct you to His final plan for you.
I'm thankful I have Him as my Lord, and Father. And I'm willing to go try it all again. I'm willing to trust again. To hope again. Not just in Him, but in some ppl also. God didn't mean for us to be one-man show ppl. Thank God He didn't. God brings hope doesn't He? New, fresh hope.
Amen.
Haha.. I wrote like a few paragraphs and totally did away with it all. Hah..This my frens, is NOT wisdom. Hahahaha.... yah yah.. Okay, so i am re-writing my entry. What oh what shall i blog today? Man.. The awesomeness of my God. I'm blown away by His majesty and cool-ness.
Today i had dinner with *salute*... Chief! She set me thinking. Just stopped me in my tracks and sort of unknowingly caused me to ponder on things i don't want to think about. Haha, things that i don't want to think about although i should. Arh, God is good. He's just pounding and knocking on that carved wooden door of your heart, making certain that you will come out victorious! This is how much He cares. How much He bothers. Let us be reminded He is a King and doesn't need to care bout you. But He does. He does. He does. Thank God He does.
These past few weeks, I really gave up on stuff.. hehe.. even sometimes, some ppl. ( Okay, I'm sorry, It's tiring to just keep trying and nothing changes?) But heh, It's like God send Chief to tell me. (tho she was't exactly telling me not to give up-- she just said stuff that sort of revives me again?). And I'm willing to try again. Not for everything. Some things really have to be left behind and in the past. But some things were meant to be yours, don't just "wadever" it away.
I 'wadeva-ed' alot of my stuff away. My passion for one. I wadev-ed it away. Other stuff close to my heart. I wadeva-ed it away. Persons that I love, wadeva-ing tthem away. Strangely those stuff that should be left in the past, I didn't 'wadeva' it away. Haha.. they just grew out of my life through God's divine working.
But what God gives you, nothing can take away!! 'Cept you and Him of cos.
But my point is, like said last time, God doesn't bother how screwed-up your life is. If that's His plan for you, and you are humble, humbled and repentant, He always has ways to re-direct you to His final plan for you.
I'm thankful I have Him as my Lord, and Father. And I'm willing to go try it all again. I'm willing to trust again. To hope again. Not just in Him, but in some ppl also. God didn't mean for us to be one-man show ppl. Thank God He didn't. God brings hope doesn't He? New, fresh hope.
Amen.
Tuesday, 10 February 2004
The break through entry?
Breakthrough. It means breaking through. Moving past a barrier that supposedly would stop you. Think a place that can't be infiltrated being infiltrated. That is break through. Think an open bank at the corner of a street, and robbers going in forcefully. That's breakthrough. Think a man pounding on the doors of a building, and finally tearing the doors down. That's breakthrough.
And my point is? Well, it is that every breakthrough requires an action. And this action is carried out by the person who wants the breakthrough. Want breakthrough? Then what are we doing bout it? Agreed; its God who brings us through. But its us that have to choose to press in. It takes time like infiltrating, breaking down the door. It takes persistence and peseverence. No stopping.
Yah, want breakthrough, press in. I mean PRESS IN. Press : force must be applied.
But we wonder, only me and God? Nah.. thank God no. God gives us 'saints' tp breakthrough with us, just like robbers rob in a group and amry platoons infiltrating a place. More people, more effective. The closer the person, more effective. More close people, More good friends, More Godly friends, much much much more effective.
Sometimes its difficult to seek God alone. Sometimes you just want friends to be there and seeking God together with you.
And I'm so proud that some of you had online devotions when we were in east timor. Very blessed by that. Why not continuing anymore?
We've had you, your saints (AKA jonathans and davids) , What is the next chemical to add to create a breakthrough? God.
Naturally right? Faith in Him, Trust in Him, Hoping in Him. Leaving it to Him. It's all about....... HIM. Our duty is to press in, not move anything. That's his job circle, leave your itchy fingers out of His job scope.
I'll be realistic, Its not easy to let go. Not easy to do alot of stuff. Sometimes You wished some stuff would happen. But they never do. Sometimes that little heart aches and you literally feel it becoming 'suan' or sour. Sometimes you sit down, holding back tears as long as you can. But I'll be realistic once more. The truth is that mr Kleenex is up there all the while. The Spirit is a gentleman. You don't open up, He don't force Himself in. You ask Him in, he gladly comes in. That is the truth. Things will come tt we don't know how to control. But that's when we need to come to the One who controls all.
In my weakness Your strength is made complete and perfect.
Thank God! Phew...
Amen.
Breakthrough. It means breaking through. Moving past a barrier that supposedly would stop you. Think a place that can't be infiltrated being infiltrated. That is break through. Think an open bank at the corner of a street, and robbers going in forcefully. That's breakthrough. Think a man pounding on the doors of a building, and finally tearing the doors down. That's breakthrough.
And my point is? Well, it is that every breakthrough requires an action. And this action is carried out by the person who wants the breakthrough. Want breakthrough? Then what are we doing bout it? Agreed; its God who brings us through. But its us that have to choose to press in. It takes time like infiltrating, breaking down the door. It takes persistence and peseverence. No stopping.
Yah, want breakthrough, press in. I mean PRESS IN. Press : force must be applied.
But we wonder, only me and God? Nah.. thank God no. God gives us 'saints' tp breakthrough with us, just like robbers rob in a group and amry platoons infiltrating a place. More people, more effective. The closer the person, more effective. More close people, More good friends, More Godly friends, much much much more effective.
Sometimes its difficult to seek God alone. Sometimes you just want friends to be there and seeking God together with you.
And I'm so proud that some of you had online devotions when we were in east timor. Very blessed by that. Why not continuing anymore?
We've had you, your saints (AKA jonathans and davids) , What is the next chemical to add to create a breakthrough? God.
Naturally right? Faith in Him, Trust in Him, Hoping in Him. Leaving it to Him. It's all about....... HIM. Our duty is to press in, not move anything. That's his job circle, leave your itchy fingers out of His job scope.
I'll be realistic, Its not easy to let go. Not easy to do alot of stuff. Sometimes You wished some stuff would happen. But they never do. Sometimes that little heart aches and you literally feel it becoming 'suan' or sour. Sometimes you sit down, holding back tears as long as you can. But I'll be realistic once more. The truth is that mr Kleenex is up there all the while. The Spirit is a gentleman. You don't open up, He don't force Himself in. You ask Him in, he gladly comes in. That is the truth. Things will come tt we don't know how to control. But that's when we need to come to the One who controls all.
In my weakness Your strength is made complete and perfect.
Thank God! Phew...
Amen.
Sunday, 8 February 2004
The "Where were you" entry.
This morning.There was a conference and the whole video crew was be on. So we're all in the video room. And I'm doing gp with Eileen. I did praise, she did worship. Seriously I think I'm losing my gp-phoric skills. heh.. freaky man.
So I went through tt part of sunday morning, and some one asks me, "Where are you?" But I wasn't attentive lah, so i went on to lunch and the afternoon part of sunday.
So some things happened that really made me so 'yuck' and disappointed. we went to eat, then over to colleen's house to study/do work. Still stuff happened that made me so 'argh'. But then things eased up abit. Haha, thank God for declan. Never thot I'm saying this, but sometimes when i look at Him, My heart just melts. I've seen God in him. Glimpses of it. But I still do. And it made me smile. ( Mushy.. yucks!)
Well, then someone asked again," Where are you?".
Yah, then john and i left to go evenin service. I was on gp again. So had to be there early. Well, i went up to video room again, with more or less the same ppl. Haha, this time, we had like 9 songs!!! So many many many!! Bro derek is a man of many songs.
Anyways, cut things short, it was really really bad. really bad. We couldn't find the song through it all anywhere!! I had to use search button (used only in times of utter despair) and then found it. GA12.
Then after tt, nearing the end of the service, bro wilson at the tampines side sang this really weird old song. Can't make out the words.. and we (fabian, brian and me) were searching like nut cases. And the camera man (gabriel) was hurrying us. I almost employed search button, but fabian found it last minute. Bro wilson started the song with an 'OH' which wasn't even part of the song. ARGH!!
Well, service over, and as i switched off my laptop and someone asked me again, "Where are you?". I was too hurried to get down to meet up with the rest of the youths to reply.
yah.. and after much procrastination, the whole lot of us decide to go blue roof for dinner!! COOL! The older youths and the younger youths and the obasans and ojisans all go to the same place for dinner!! Stuff happened on the way to blue roof, at blue roof and after blue roof. And i felt so much like running to foong's place to just stay over. And yah, cry.
And someone asked me, "where are you?".
I came back home, and things picked up abit. I chat online with some ppl and suddenly a person says something that made the difference in my day. We began to chat about God and all.
Finally I took time to listen to that someone who was looking for me all day. Finally I could hear him becos it was only then that i focused on him. On Him. When we spoke of Him. Then I heard Him say once more in His sweet sweet voice, but no longer asking me where i was the whole day.
Rather He said, " I was there with you throughout the day."
He asked where I was. I couldn't say.
I didn't ask where He was. But I knew. And He told me too.
" I was there with you throughout the day."
Amen.
This morning.There was a conference and the whole video crew was be on. So we're all in the video room. And I'm doing gp with Eileen. I did praise, she did worship. Seriously I think I'm losing my gp-phoric skills. heh.. freaky man.
So I went through tt part of sunday morning, and some one asks me, "Where are you?" But I wasn't attentive lah, so i went on to lunch and the afternoon part of sunday.
So some things happened that really made me so 'yuck' and disappointed. we went to eat, then over to colleen's house to study/do work. Still stuff happened that made me so 'argh'. But then things eased up abit. Haha, thank God for declan. Never thot I'm saying this, but sometimes when i look at Him, My heart just melts. I've seen God in him. Glimpses of it. But I still do. And it made me smile. ( Mushy.. yucks!)
Well, then someone asked again," Where are you?".
Yah, then john and i left to go evenin service. I was on gp again. So had to be there early. Well, i went up to video room again, with more or less the same ppl. Haha, this time, we had like 9 songs!!! So many many many!! Bro derek is a man of many songs.
Anyways, cut things short, it was really really bad. really bad. We couldn't find the song through it all anywhere!! I had to use search button (used only in times of utter despair) and then found it. GA12.
Then after tt, nearing the end of the service, bro wilson at the tampines side sang this really weird old song. Can't make out the words.. and we (fabian, brian and me) were searching like nut cases. And the camera man (gabriel) was hurrying us. I almost employed search button, but fabian found it last minute. Bro wilson started the song with an 'OH' which wasn't even part of the song. ARGH!!
Well, service over, and as i switched off my laptop and someone asked me again, "Where are you?". I was too hurried to get down to meet up with the rest of the youths to reply.
yah.. and after much procrastination, the whole lot of us decide to go blue roof for dinner!! COOL! The older youths and the younger youths and the obasans and ojisans all go to the same place for dinner!! Stuff happened on the way to blue roof, at blue roof and after blue roof. And i felt so much like running to foong's place to just stay over. And yah, cry.
And someone asked me, "where are you?".
I came back home, and things picked up abit. I chat online with some ppl and suddenly a person says something that made the difference in my day. We began to chat about God and all.
Finally I took time to listen to that someone who was looking for me all day. Finally I could hear him becos it was only then that i focused on him. On Him. When we spoke of Him. Then I heard Him say once more in His sweet sweet voice, but no longer asking me where i was the whole day.
Rather He said, " I was there with you throughout the day."
He asked where I was. I couldn't say.
I didn't ask where He was. But I knew. And He told me too.
" I was there with you throughout the day."
Amen.
Saturday, 7 February 2004
"All I'm asking is that you turn your eyes upon Me.
Upon Me.
Upon Me.
Upon Me.
I don't hate you. Never did. I love You so much.
I don't care how messy your life is.
All I ask is that you return that gaze to Me.
I'm not asking you to solve your problems.
I'm not asking you to try harder.
I'm asking you to turn your eyes back to Me.
And to watch Me.
For the Son does only what He sees His Father doing.
Likewise when you watch Me, you will do what I do.
Likewise when you watch Me, your heat beats in alignment with mine.
Turn your eyes back to Me. Simply turn your eyes back to Me.
Then passion will return. Then the things I have for you will be restored. Restored and given back to you more than before."
-- 12.20 - 12.30 pm, Sat 7 Feb.
Upon Me.
Upon Me.
Upon Me.
I don't hate you. Never did. I love You so much.
I don't care how messy your life is.
All I ask is that you return that gaze to Me.
I'm not asking you to solve your problems.
I'm not asking you to try harder.
I'm asking you to turn your eyes back to Me.
And to watch Me.
For the Son does only what He sees His Father doing.
Likewise when you watch Me, you will do what I do.
Likewise when you watch Me, your heat beats in alignment with mine.
Turn your eyes back to Me. Simply turn your eyes back to Me.
Then passion will return. Then the things I have for you will be restored. Restored and given back to you more than before."
-- 12.20 - 12.30 pm, Sat 7 Feb.
Friday, 6 February 2004
The Post-Fever 1oo Conference @ COOS
Jesus I believe in You And I would go
To the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For You alone Are the Son of God
And all the world will see that
You are God That You are God
Stagnant. Stagnant. You've turn your eyes off Me.
God just brought something to my mind in the conference. Everything felt so familiar, as if i was preparing to go east timor. Just like those 4 days last year which were really great days. And something in me leaps again, is set free again, is joyous again, is uncertain again, but is looking towards Him again.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
That something feels all these, not becos I was in the same place where my fire and passion was blown into flames, though it is the same feelings. Rather it was and, still is, becos God is calling that something back. It's a sort of re-ignition of a past passion. Re-focusing I guess.
When the other east timor team was sharing, God reminded me stuff. One thing that immediately I reminded myself was Part of Healing Process--the words said to partly to me. And partly to them.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
But God didn't mean for me to keep looking towards the things that needed to be healed and to the processes. He had meaning for me to look to Him. And as I worshiped and sang, I realised I lost something so unique to me. I lost them. But amen to the truth that our God is a God of restoration. There and then He restored. And slowly I believe He will restore the rest. I'm clinging on to the words spoken.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
It hurts. Badly. But He called the boy higher. To that place of re-focusing. To that place of surrender. To the nations. The boy was left so lost. But the boy knew Him. He knew Him. And want to know Him.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
God didn't say growing cold hearted. Yah, maybe you've not grown cold. But are you hot? It's not a matter of how cold you are. But of how hot you are. Cold is the absence of heat, not the presence of cold.
God didn't say ignore. But He didn't say bother. He said,"Turn your eyes upon Me."
Thank God He restores. Thank God He speaks. Thank God for the grace to trust in Him. Thank God for being God. Thank God for being there. Thank God for second chances. Thank God He bothers enough to woo you. Thank God for rebuking. Thank God for His love. His love that superceeds all else to emerge strong and unfailing.
This post meeting has seriously challenged me to just look past my problems and unto Him. To re-commit my life to Him first, then His cause, second. To not lose sight. And to seek Him for who He is, not what He can give.
"But I restoreth."
Amen.
Jesus I believe in You And I would go
To the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For You alone Are the Son of God
And all the world will see that
You are God That You are God
Stagnant. Stagnant. You've turn your eyes off Me.
God just brought something to my mind in the conference. Everything felt so familiar, as if i was preparing to go east timor. Just like those 4 days last year which were really great days. And something in me leaps again, is set free again, is joyous again, is uncertain again, but is looking towards Him again.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
That something feels all these, not becos I was in the same place where my fire and passion was blown into flames, though it is the same feelings. Rather it was and, still is, becos God is calling that something back. It's a sort of re-ignition of a past passion. Re-focusing I guess.
When the other east timor team was sharing, God reminded me stuff. One thing that immediately I reminded myself was Part of Healing Process--the words said to partly to me. And partly to them.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
But God didn't mean for me to keep looking towards the things that needed to be healed and to the processes. He had meaning for me to look to Him. And as I worshiped and sang, I realised I lost something so unique to me. I lost them. But amen to the truth that our God is a God of restoration. There and then He restored. And slowly I believe He will restore the rest. I'm clinging on to the words spoken.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
It hurts. Badly. But He called the boy higher. To that place of re-focusing. To that place of surrender. To the nations. The boy was left so lost. But the boy knew Him. He knew Him. And want to know Him.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
You've turned your eyes off Me.
God didn't say growing cold hearted. Yah, maybe you've not grown cold. But are you hot? It's not a matter of how cold you are. But of how hot you are. Cold is the absence of heat, not the presence of cold.
God didn't say ignore. But He didn't say bother. He said,"Turn your eyes upon Me."
Thank God He restores. Thank God He speaks. Thank God for the grace to trust in Him. Thank God for being God. Thank God for being there. Thank God for second chances. Thank God He bothers enough to woo you. Thank God for rebuking. Thank God for His love. His love that superceeds all else to emerge strong and unfailing.
This post meeting has seriously challenged me to just look past my problems and unto Him. To re-commit my life to Him first, then His cause, second. To not lose sight. And to seek Him for who He is, not what He can give.
"But I restoreth."
Amen.
Tuesday, 3 February 2004
The WOAH prayer meeting.
And I breathe in Your breath of life
That fills my heart
You are my all Consuming Fire
I stand here Before You
In wide open wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose In me
As I'm reaching for You
So cool. What could be fun-ner? What could be more exciting than dwelling in God's presence and just enjoying Him.. and worshiping Him?
Today we had one worship meeting man. I'll speak of the before prayer meeting first. I walked from my house to mrt, then took mrt to cck and then 3oo. And i tell you, when you've been having such weird sleeping times like me, and you are travelling on a mrt and public bus alone, your "stay-awake" nerves fail you terribly. Got to admit i was like struggling to keep awake. My eyes were half opened loh, and i was just forcing them open.
Haha.. Anyways, as i was in 3oo, Thank God it was not crowded, unusually. If it was i would have been more sleepy. Anyways, i said to God, "Look, I'm really sorry I'm dozing off. God You've got to help me stay awake during prayer meeting later." And a few minutes later (I'm still struggling to stay awake at this moment lah huh..), the bus stalls at the bukit panjang govt bus stop. And I'm like, "WHAT?!? What nonsense.. Man.. God this has so got to be You loh!! Thank You!!Hahaha..." Haha.. crazy? Nah.. Just tt God is creative. Becos the bus stalled, we had to get down and hop on the next bus. But i decided not to wait and just walked across to cck bldg. And tt little walk made me v much awake. WOAh. The power of my God.
Then at prayer meet, we just break off into this powerful worship session, haha.. the song shirley lim led, I stand here before You, was so right for the mood!!! The song was once a hit song, but it phased out. So when she sang it it didn't feel cliche. Haha.. But then Sis Sandy goes up. And I go ,"No. God No." You know like when you bargain with your hp alarm to give you a few more minutes of sleep? Yah..like tt. And God sort of brought us into another realm of worship. Totally blew my mind. Sis Sandy didn't stop the worship to go ahead with prayer pointers. Just went with the flow and the worship. And we go into worshipping Him and repenting and renweing our lives the whole prayer meeting.
It was just like renewal. I dunno. That word comes to me strong. Another word that came to me was also resistant. Resistant.And yet another word was this.. argh!! Let me try to rmb!! OH!! "In your weakness My strength is made perfect.". That word came so clear and so gently. And God seemed to be saying, " Why do you try so hard in Your own strength? Do you not know you cannot do it unless through Me?". I had forgotten this verse over the past few months. But God reminded me. That sweet Spirit took time to remind me. He didn't have to, but He did. I'm thankful He did.
Another thing was how God impressed on my heart, " I don't want you to be a guest in My courts, where you come and go. I want you to stay in My throne room. Would you stay and dwell in My presence, and not be a guest anymore?"
Bro willie and sister elaine went up to pray. And there i felt like it was a battle. Either you fight for a new deeper relationship or lose it. So many things happened in the short time. Okay..at one point of time I almost wandered off in my mind. Too tired. But well, God pulled me back. Literally. So much to say. Don't know where to continue.
But sighz. I'm still exasperated at the glory and splendor and the awesomeness and the wisdom and the simplicity of my God. Of our God. Of the God of all. Let's be challenged to go deeper into our relationship with Him. Whatever is past, is passed. It's difficult to let go. But hey, It is in our weakness that His strength is made perfect. In Him, all things are perfect.
Amen.
And I breathe in Your breath of life
That fills my heart
You are my all Consuming Fire
I stand here Before You
In wide open wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose In me
As I'm reaching for You
So cool. What could be fun-ner? What could be more exciting than dwelling in God's presence and just enjoying Him.. and worshiping Him?
Today we had one worship meeting man. I'll speak of the before prayer meeting first. I walked from my house to mrt, then took mrt to cck and then 3oo. And i tell you, when you've been having such weird sleeping times like me, and you are travelling on a mrt and public bus alone, your "stay-awake" nerves fail you terribly. Got to admit i was like struggling to keep awake. My eyes were half opened loh, and i was just forcing them open.
Haha.. Anyways, as i was in 3oo, Thank God it was not crowded, unusually. If it was i would have been more sleepy. Anyways, i said to God, "Look, I'm really sorry I'm dozing off. God You've got to help me stay awake during prayer meeting later." And a few minutes later (I'm still struggling to stay awake at this moment lah huh..), the bus stalls at the bukit panjang govt bus stop. And I'm like, "WHAT?!? What nonsense.. Man.. God this has so got to be You loh!! Thank You!!Hahaha..." Haha.. crazy? Nah.. Just tt God is creative. Becos the bus stalled, we had to get down and hop on the next bus. But i decided not to wait and just walked across to cck bldg. And tt little walk made me v much awake. WOAh. The power of my God.
Then at prayer meet, we just break off into this powerful worship session, haha.. the song shirley lim led, I stand here before You, was so right for the mood!!! The song was once a hit song, but it phased out. So when she sang it it didn't feel cliche. Haha.. But then Sis Sandy goes up. And I go ,"No. God No." You know like when you bargain with your hp alarm to give you a few more minutes of sleep? Yah..like tt. And God sort of brought us into another realm of worship. Totally blew my mind. Sis Sandy didn't stop the worship to go ahead with prayer pointers. Just went with the flow and the worship. And we go into worshipping Him and repenting and renweing our lives the whole prayer meeting.
It was just like renewal. I dunno. That word comes to me strong. Another word that came to me was also resistant. Resistant.And yet another word was this.. argh!! Let me try to rmb!! OH!! "In your weakness My strength is made perfect.". That word came so clear and so gently. And God seemed to be saying, " Why do you try so hard in Your own strength? Do you not know you cannot do it unless through Me?". I had forgotten this verse over the past few months. But God reminded me. That sweet Spirit took time to remind me. He didn't have to, but He did. I'm thankful He did.
Another thing was how God impressed on my heart, " I don't want you to be a guest in My courts, where you come and go. I want you to stay in My throne room. Would you stay and dwell in My presence, and not be a guest anymore?"
Bro willie and sister elaine went up to pray. And there i felt like it was a battle. Either you fight for a new deeper relationship or lose it. So many things happened in the short time. Okay..at one point of time I almost wandered off in my mind. Too tired. But well, God pulled me back. Literally. So much to say. Don't know where to continue.
But sighz. I'm still exasperated at the glory and splendor and the awesomeness and the wisdom and the simplicity of my God. Of our God. Of the God of all. Let's be challenged to go deeper into our relationship with Him. Whatever is past, is passed. It's difficult to let go. But hey, It is in our weakness that His strength is made perfect. In Him, all things are perfect.
Amen.
Monday, 2 February 2004
The Sunday Entry.
WOAH. Sunday is my fav day. Whole day in church!! But ends fast. Man....
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Your loves makes me sing
Your love's amazing
Steady and unchanging
Your love's a mountain
Firm beneath my feet
Lah lah.. got quite abit to talk about. Don't know where to start. One thing that really had an impact on me today arh? Guess it was when someone.. spoke to me. Eric. Sighz.. i wanted to tell him like ," Eric, you are right. For like almost everything. Where were you all this time!??!?" Hahah.. but yea.. God was good.
Another part was during worship in the morning. When something in me just said, " This is the ugliness of your heart. When I worship God becos of me and my own glory and agenda OR even becos of the sake of worshiping. And not becos of who He is." I was so taken aback. That is the ugliness of our heart when we do not worship Him in spirit and in truth.
BUT.. God then said thru it all.. if we were repentant and all.. there was a way he could provide for us. Hahah.. sorry, i can't rmb exactly what He said. But during evening service, Bro John Tan....... Peng Chai.. gave a word of God clothing us with His righteousness tt makes us worthy. Hahah... only realised it as im journaling now that it was in line with what God impressed on my heart this morning.
Man.. God can use anyone. Anyone at all. Its the posture of our heart. Man.. I'm so excited at what God's going to do. i want to walk closer with Him. So excited. There are many things i do not understand, like things tt seriously don't seem to be wad theyshld be. But I've learnt also tt my God is big. And for that matter bigger. And for that matter again.. the BIGGEST. that's why i can rest assured in Him. No easy task.. but God will honnor that faith you have in Him. That little faith.
So arise you of little faith and put that which you have into His hands, and He will multiply that for His glory-- shown through your life. [ this is no bible verse.. just something i write cos it sounds nice.. hahah]
In His hands,
Amen.
WOAH. Sunday is my fav day. Whole day in church!! But ends fast. Man....
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Your loves makes me sing
Your love's amazing
Steady and unchanging
Your love's a mountain
Firm beneath my feet
Lah lah.. got quite abit to talk about. Don't know where to start. One thing that really had an impact on me today arh? Guess it was when someone.. spoke to me. Eric. Sighz.. i wanted to tell him like ," Eric, you are right. For like almost everything. Where were you all this time!??!?" Hahah.. but yea.. God was good.
Another part was during worship in the morning. When something in me just said, " This is the ugliness of your heart. When I worship God becos of me and my own glory and agenda OR even becos of the sake of worshiping. And not becos of who He is." I was so taken aback. That is the ugliness of our heart when we do not worship Him in spirit and in truth.
BUT.. God then said thru it all.. if we were repentant and all.. there was a way he could provide for us. Hahah.. sorry, i can't rmb exactly what He said. But during evening service, Bro John Tan....... Peng Chai.. gave a word of God clothing us with His righteousness tt makes us worthy. Hahah... only realised it as im journaling now that it was in line with what God impressed on my heart this morning.
Man.. God can use anyone. Anyone at all. Its the posture of our heart. Man.. I'm so excited at what God's going to do. i want to walk closer with Him. So excited. There are many things i do not understand, like things tt seriously don't seem to be wad theyshld be. But I've learnt also tt my God is big. And for that matter bigger. And for that matter again.. the BIGGEST. that's why i can rest assured in Him. No easy task.. but God will honnor that faith you have in Him. That little faith.
So arise you of little faith and put that which you have into His hands, and He will multiply that for His glory-- shown through your life. [ this is no bible verse.. just something i write cos it sounds nice.. hahah]
In His hands,
Amen.
Friday, 30 January 2004
I did alot of quizzes from derek's blog! Here's one.
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Strange becos i was supposed to be marlin.. but well.. i'm dory now!
Complete sincerity: You believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. People would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly
serious.
Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla
Oh gosh. Haha, I'm calm and mostly serious? Hahah.. i appear calm. And I cna remain calm.. but once we've found the way to solve the prob, its then tt i start to over react.. serious? Oh my.. hahha.. wadever man.. thes quizzes don't tell me in reality who i am. God does. Thank you for knowing me. Thank You for being the Lord of all, the personal One who knows us inside out even when we don't.
Amen.
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Strange becos i was supposed to be marlin.. but well.. i'm dory now!
Complete sincerity: You believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. People would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly
serious.
Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla
Oh gosh. Haha, I'm calm and mostly serious? Hahah.. i appear calm. And I cna remain calm.. but once we've found the way to solve the prob, its then tt i start to over react.. serious? Oh my.. hahha.. wadever man.. thes quizzes don't tell me in reality who i am. God does. Thank you for knowing me. Thank You for being the Lord of all, the personal One who knows us inside out even when we don't.
Amen.
Thursday, 29 January 2004
Passion Entry.
We'll give You all the glory
We'll give You all the glory
We'll give You all the glory
Christ the Lord.
Hmm.. today. Went to study at esther's house. Elvin's house lah. real studying okay? Although i admit i was really stinking tired and hungry.
Well we watched american idol. Wah seh,some ppl are just bad. And this housten or something state? Sighz.. hahha.. what was more intruiging was the comments. I mean its ok they sing bad, cos i'm not good myself, but the comments were like hurting man.
Simon actually told this guy, " You're uselesss." okay.. can't blame him also-- the standard was really exasperating. Haha.. but was wondering how the guy would take the comment.
Anyways, american idol is a nice show. Not trying to get you to bycott it. I wouldn't loh. Nice. Haha..
This entry i called passion becos i finally got the cd. Arh.. wadeva. Hmm.. just suddenly, as in suddenly few sec ago, thot bout leemin. And east timor.
She wanted to pass me her burnt passion cd tt day i left for timor. I still rmb it all so vividly. I declined ( declined? Desmonde desmonde, why so formal?!?). I mean i say dun wan.. cos elvin had the cd. I thot he did. I can't rmb tt lah.. Geez. I rmb when i sat the palne and read the letters. I read esther foong's and almost cried. (yea yea what's new? )
Hmm.. i was scared. But not for the trip. But for trips that i would make in the future. It was like, man. I sat in the aisle seat, and just clutched the packet of suan mei that elvin stuffed into my hands becos he saw his siao di's face of worry. (thanks..da ge). But sitting there you just felt God was really with you and you felt Him so strongly and its like He gives you a sneek preview into your future. It was cool.. but very scary. It was exciting. I mean, i felt a huge contrast of emotions. I felt scared bout the future trips. But in the future trips I felt no fear. I was alone and the only Person with me on those trips was God but I did not feel alone.
I was sooooo superbly grateful to elvin. The char bo ( esther tan, lily jie, sis pearl )were like behind us.. far far far behind. And like in all the emotions, haha.. i felt so unnerved and scared. And of cos alone. Its like ,"woah cool it man God, i'm just a boy. A boy who's like so freaked out by Your awesomeness that he just want to grab his da ge's arm and hold. And grab the other hand and bite. A boy who's like freaking out becos he is so overwhelmed by Your greatness."
We'll give You all the glory..
And with that began my awesome trip which i have so much to talk about. The way God was so with us and having fun together with us was like.... SwEet, aWeSoMe.. totally.. Lixin will agree with me.
Amazing how one studying session at elvin's palce can remind me bout the cd and how that cd can remind me about jessie and how that can remind about the checking-in time on the 5 of dec. And of cos how tt reminded me about His plans and wisdom and His glory.
Man. I'm so going to fever 100 this year again. It's all worth it ppl. The serving. The serving. The serving. (as i'm typing this, i reached the take my life bridge part,of passion, so very into the mood) THE SERVING. Looking back, it's about serving God. Its about serving His ppl. Its about serving the lost. Its about serving God's cause. Its about serving Him.
WOW. I've got alot more to write bout timor. Its like writing my journal there while over there. I'll write some other time. Man.. God You're good. You lifted me beyond my troubles once again to let me see Your purpose. And I'm satisfied. And I'm lost for words. And I'm awed.
Amen.
We'll give You all the glory
We'll give You all the glory
We'll give You all the glory
Christ the Lord.
Hmm.. today. Went to study at esther's house. Elvin's house lah. real studying okay? Although i admit i was really stinking tired and hungry.
Well we watched american idol. Wah seh,some ppl are just bad. And this housten or something state? Sighz.. hahha.. what was more intruiging was the comments. I mean its ok they sing bad, cos i'm not good myself, but the comments were like hurting man.
Simon actually told this guy, " You're uselesss." okay.. can't blame him also-- the standard was really exasperating. Haha.. but was wondering how the guy would take the comment.
Anyways, american idol is a nice show. Not trying to get you to bycott it. I wouldn't loh. Nice. Haha..
This entry i called passion becos i finally got the cd. Arh.. wadeva. Hmm.. just suddenly, as in suddenly few sec ago, thot bout leemin. And east timor.
She wanted to pass me her burnt passion cd tt day i left for timor. I still rmb it all so vividly. I declined ( declined? Desmonde desmonde, why so formal?!?). I mean i say dun wan.. cos elvin had the cd. I thot he did. I can't rmb tt lah.. Geez. I rmb when i sat the palne and read the letters. I read esther foong's and almost cried. (yea yea what's new? )
Hmm.. i was scared. But not for the trip. But for trips that i would make in the future. It was like, man. I sat in the aisle seat, and just clutched the packet of suan mei that elvin stuffed into my hands becos he saw his siao di's face of worry. (thanks..da ge). But sitting there you just felt God was really with you and you felt Him so strongly and its like He gives you a sneek preview into your future. It was cool.. but very scary. It was exciting. I mean, i felt a huge contrast of emotions. I felt scared bout the future trips. But in the future trips I felt no fear. I was alone and the only Person with me on those trips was God but I did not feel alone.
I was sooooo superbly grateful to elvin. The char bo ( esther tan, lily jie, sis pearl )were like behind us.. far far far behind. And like in all the emotions, haha.. i felt so unnerved and scared. And of cos alone. Its like ,"woah cool it man God, i'm just a boy. A boy who's like so freaked out by Your awesomeness that he just want to grab his da ge's arm and hold. And grab the other hand and bite. A boy who's like freaking out becos he is so overwhelmed by Your greatness."
We'll give You all the glory..
And with that began my awesome trip which i have so much to talk about. The way God was so with us and having fun together with us was like.... SwEet, aWeSoMe.. totally.. Lixin will agree with me.
Amazing how one studying session at elvin's palce can remind me bout the cd and how that cd can remind me about jessie and how that can remind about the checking-in time on the 5 of dec. And of cos how tt reminded me about His plans and wisdom and His glory.
Man. I'm so going to fever 100 this year again. It's all worth it ppl. The serving. The serving. The serving. (as i'm typing this, i reached the take my life bridge part,of passion, so very into the mood) THE SERVING. Looking back, it's about serving God. Its about serving His ppl. Its about serving the lost. Its about serving God's cause. Its about serving Him.
WOW. I've got alot more to write bout timor. Its like writing my journal there while over there. I'll write some other time. Man.. God You're good. You lifted me beyond my troubles once again to let me see Your purpose. And I'm satisfied. And I'm lost for words. And I'm awed.
Amen.
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