The When entry.
When strength wears thin
And hope wears out
When warmth is lie
And love is fib
Are You there?
When tears run down
And joy runs far
When real turns pretence
And friend turns cold
Are You there?
When touch brings hurt
And promises bring nought;
When cries are unheard
And knees are bruised
Are You there?
My joy is strength
My peace, your hope
My love is full;
Its all for you
I am here.
I keep your tears;
Restoreth joy
I wear no mask;
All love am I
I am here.
I gently touch
With faithfulness
I listen always;
Making whole
I am here.
And I am God.
Sunday, 30 May 2004
Friday, 21 May 2004
The What For? Entry
What for? Tell him my problems? What makes you tink he's gonna be bothered? He's too busy. Too high up there for my problems. No one cares how i feel anyway. I dun see the no reason why i have to share my hurting with him, my pain with him. I'll just don't bother bout these hurts and pains. If i dun bother it won't hurt me what. After all, I know myself better than he does. Is he trying to mock my 'small-ness' by bothering with me even tho he's so much better than me? Who does he tink he is?
He is only God.
Sounds familiar? You know, everyone has their down periods. But what makes the difference between us Christians and the world is that we have God. And shld we become indignant and just take up a heck care attitude.. that in someway hints that, well, tho this might be painful to say, we've taken God from His rightful first place. Somehow, we let our own strength, or maybe our own hurts take the throne.
I gotta admit tho, its really easy to just say, "Hey, know what? I dun care. Do you? Cos i dun." And i know its easy for me to say that well, God's gonna be there. But that is the simple truth. God IS gonna be there. And if we honnour Him with the simple act of just trusting Him and casting our cares on Him.. He's gonna honnour us back.
I'm guilty of hecking too. But i've come to realise that God's there for a reason. And He's more than willing. He's up there for a reason. So He can be with us and together we can come down, literally, on the prob.
Be blessed. =)
In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of His blood
In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength My source of hope
Is Christ alone
My source of strength My source of hope
Is Christ alone
What for? Tell him my problems? What makes you tink he's gonna be bothered? He's too busy. Too high up there for my problems. No one cares how i feel anyway. I dun see the no reason why i have to share my hurting with him, my pain with him. I'll just don't bother bout these hurts and pains. If i dun bother it won't hurt me what. After all, I know myself better than he does. Is he trying to mock my 'small-ness' by bothering with me even tho he's so much better than me? Who does he tink he is?
He is only God.
Sounds familiar? You know, everyone has their down periods. But what makes the difference between us Christians and the world is that we have God. And shld we become indignant and just take up a heck care attitude.. that in someway hints that, well, tho this might be painful to say, we've taken God from His rightful first place. Somehow, we let our own strength, or maybe our own hurts take the throne.
I gotta admit tho, its really easy to just say, "Hey, know what? I dun care. Do you? Cos i dun." And i know its easy for me to say that well, God's gonna be there. But that is the simple truth. God IS gonna be there. And if we honnour Him with the simple act of just trusting Him and casting our cares on Him.. He's gonna honnour us back.
I'm guilty of hecking too. But i've come to realise that God's there for a reason. And He's more than willing. He's up there for a reason. So He can be with us and together we can come down, literally, on the prob.
Be blessed. =)
In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of His blood
In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength My source of hope
Is Christ alone
My source of strength My source of hope
Is Christ alone
Sunday, 16 May 2004
A treasure chest. Without treasure.
A clay vessel. Without water.
An apple. Without meat.
An apple without meat. Becoming more and more dehydrated.
A perfume bottle. Without fragrance.
A life. Without Christ.
Empty. Empty. Empty.
So much for promises. So much for anything at all. So much for professed love. So much for ideal worship.
All emptiness. Empitiness.
Forgotten.
Forgot the look.
Forgot the voice.
Forgot the touch.
Forgot the tiles.
Forgot my way.
Forgot.
Please don't forget me. I have nothing left. Dun forget me please.
A clay vessel. Without water.
An apple. Without meat.
An apple without meat. Becoming more and more dehydrated.
A perfume bottle. Without fragrance.
A life. Without Christ.
Empty. Empty. Empty.
So much for promises. So much for anything at all. So much for professed love. So much for ideal worship.
All emptiness. Empitiness.
Forgotten.
Forgot the look.
Forgot the voice.
Forgot the touch.
Forgot the tiles.
Forgot my way.
Forgot.
Please don't forget me. I have nothing left. Dun forget me please.
Tuesday, 4 May 2004
The He's good always Entry. [ I actually wrote this on sat night. But too afraid to show it.]
I just read some of my old entries. I try to be as detailed as possible, writing down silly things in my blog, like esther and elvin wld rmb in my et journal, because sometimes the small things make you rmb more.
Rmb the time, esther tan, where we were at bro evangelino's house? And the words God gave you? And the chicks? And the mother hen? Rmb every morning when i woke up and opened the door and saw you opening yours? And just feel so at ease when i saw you? The xia xiang ju? Rmb after we came back? Rmb how i sometimes said weird stuff to you?
Rmb the time elvin,my da ge if you ever read, i cried in the room for no apparent reason? Rmb the time i sat in the plane alone on the way back to sg, and then you came over.. and i said," da ge?" And you said," Hmmm..?" And i never replied. Rmb the time when i was whining about the cockroaches. Rmb the toilet door in our room in bro Israel's house that had no knob? Rmb the bowl and the branch? Rmb all my smses at weird times of the day or nite? Rmb you said wad my psalm was? When we talked a real long talk that sunday? Rmb how i started calling you da ge and why i treat you as my da ge?
Rmb you both the times we washed the dishes? The times we played with mattias who bit us? The times we played with muffy and fluffy, "Sai!" ? Rmb the cleaning of the pick-up truck? Rmb carrying all the boxes and sis lily being so super zai?
Rmb sis lily, if you ever read, you dropped a tear at our debrief time? Rmb you just looking at us when we were writing our journals? Rmb rushing from plane to plane carrying all the heavy stuff? Rmb the time i and elvin held up your hands at bro evangelino's home? Rmb when sometimes i must have disappointed you so much?
Rmb how all of you took care of this siao di di? I did. Still do. I love you.
Rmb dear parents tho i know you wldn't read, all the times you spent on me? the scoldings, the love, the pain, the hurt, the joy, the seemingly unworried times like when i got my results in PSLE and Os? Rmb the times you boasted of me to others? Rmb the times i held you guys and cried? Both respectively diff times? Rmb Daddy, the time i held you so tight and cried. And cried. And cried. I love you. I love you both.
Rmb eric if you ever read, the time qy, elvin and you met me at westmall? I looked at the table today and felt abit like crying. Rmb the times you opened your house to let me and joe study? Rmb the times at camps where we roomed together? Rmb this one time during camp you sat in front of me long after everyone had gone for lunch, and i just sat with my mucus all over, and i didn't say anything? And i just walked to the toilet and came back? And said something that God had already told you? And the 'unconventional' thing at youth camp? Rmb what i told you that sunday?
Rmb esther foong if you ever read, when i was over at your place studying with jessie, and i did your blog? Rmb all the times we just crapped? Rmb the times when at morning prayer? Rmb what God always told us? Rmb the silly things we do? Rmb the word frontier? Rmb the visions?
Rmb joel and john if you guys ever read, we had our P3 mission and got stuck? Rmb how we tried to find who zeerick was? Rmb all the times we stuck together? Rmb all the photos? Rmb how we never understood one another cause our personalities clash so badly? but we still are good frens now?
Rmb qiuyi, if you ever read, all the times you talked to me? Rmb telling me something at Long John's? Rmb how when i first got ICQ the 3 of us always chatted late into the night?? Rmb how you guys helped me with the stupid scar that i had in me that i struggled so long with? Rmb how you said something to me that totally turned me ard from that day on? Something about magnifying? And i made the decision to turn ard totally?
I rmbed. And i love you.
Rmb all you guys, many of you i haven't named too. I dun have the capabilities to write all down here. But i rmb. And i love you.
Rmb God? All the effort You've put in for me? Rmb how you brought funny ppl in my life who walked out ? And i never understood. Not at all till now. And now i can see You long had greater plans for me..so much better ppl in my life for me now. Rmb the words You've spoken over me? You rmb the times i cried before you? Rmb the time where for like.. MY WORD. I just rmb. Labour Day last year was the times i started crying myself to sleep for a few weeks non-stop. The same day i grew closer to most of the ppl i mentioned above. Rmb the times I just said I need You so much? The times i woke up at weird times of the nite and just ran to You? The times i was so afraid of stupid things and You were there? Like when i went to East timor. In the plane to bali? Rmb God? Rmb all the so many more things? Rmb when i hugged my pillow and said I wanted to hug You? Rmb when i asked You if you could give me a hug physically, and You showed me somehow You could? Rmb how You reminded me of Your great love?
I did. I did God. Maybe not as well as You. But God i pray i will always rmb and be grateful. I love You.
It was a long entry. And I'm in tears. I rmb the love. I cannot name all. But i love you guys. And i love God, and i know so many times i hurt Him. I take a knife and poke His palms with it. But He never left me, never gave up. All His thots toward me are good. I'm so touched God. By the love you've given me. Even thru giving me all these ppl. I love You. Give me grace to love You more and more each day.
Amen.
[ Added today: Guess at such a time where so many of us are down and out.. I wanna say I love you guys. God loves you guys. Even if He leads you into a place or situation you dun understd at all.. Rmb that His word is a lamp to our feet and He will NEVER NEVER NEVER give up on us.]
I just read some of my old entries. I try to be as detailed as possible, writing down silly things in my blog, like esther and elvin wld rmb in my et journal, because sometimes the small things make you rmb more.
Rmb the time, esther tan, where we were at bro evangelino's house? And the words God gave you? And the chicks? And the mother hen? Rmb every morning when i woke up and opened the door and saw you opening yours? And just feel so at ease when i saw you? The xia xiang ju? Rmb after we came back? Rmb how i sometimes said weird stuff to you?
Rmb the time elvin,my da ge if you ever read, i cried in the room for no apparent reason? Rmb the time i sat in the plane alone on the way back to sg, and then you came over.. and i said," da ge?" And you said," Hmmm..?" And i never replied. Rmb the time when i was whining about the cockroaches. Rmb the toilet door in our room in bro Israel's house that had no knob? Rmb the bowl and the branch? Rmb all my smses at weird times of the day or nite? Rmb you said wad my psalm was? When we talked a real long talk that sunday? Rmb how i started calling you da ge and why i treat you as my da ge?
Rmb you both the times we washed the dishes? The times we played with mattias who bit us? The times we played with muffy and fluffy, "Sai!" ? Rmb the cleaning of the pick-up truck? Rmb carrying all the boxes and sis lily being so super zai?
Rmb sis lily, if you ever read, you dropped a tear at our debrief time? Rmb you just looking at us when we were writing our journals? Rmb rushing from plane to plane carrying all the heavy stuff? Rmb the time i and elvin held up your hands at bro evangelino's home? Rmb when sometimes i must have disappointed you so much?
Rmb how all of you took care of this siao di di? I did. Still do. I love you.
Rmb dear parents tho i know you wldn't read, all the times you spent on me? the scoldings, the love, the pain, the hurt, the joy, the seemingly unworried times like when i got my results in PSLE and Os? Rmb the times you boasted of me to others? Rmb the times i held you guys and cried? Both respectively diff times? Rmb Daddy, the time i held you so tight and cried. And cried. And cried. I love you. I love you both.
Rmb eric if you ever read, the time qy, elvin and you met me at westmall? I looked at the table today and felt abit like crying. Rmb the times you opened your house to let me and joe study? Rmb the times at camps where we roomed together? Rmb this one time during camp you sat in front of me long after everyone had gone for lunch, and i just sat with my mucus all over, and i didn't say anything? And i just walked to the toilet and came back? And said something that God had already told you? And the 'unconventional' thing at youth camp? Rmb what i told you that sunday?
Rmb esther foong if you ever read, when i was over at your place studying with jessie, and i did your blog? Rmb all the times we just crapped? Rmb the times when at morning prayer? Rmb what God always told us? Rmb the silly things we do? Rmb the word frontier? Rmb the visions?
Rmb joel and john if you guys ever read, we had our P3 mission and got stuck? Rmb how we tried to find who zeerick was? Rmb all the times we stuck together? Rmb all the photos? Rmb how we never understood one another cause our personalities clash so badly? but we still are good frens now?
Rmb qiuyi, if you ever read, all the times you talked to me? Rmb telling me something at Long John's? Rmb how when i first got ICQ the 3 of us always chatted late into the night?? Rmb how you guys helped me with the stupid scar that i had in me that i struggled so long with? Rmb how you said something to me that totally turned me ard from that day on? Something about magnifying? And i made the decision to turn ard totally?
I rmbed. And i love you.
Rmb all you guys, many of you i haven't named too. I dun have the capabilities to write all down here. But i rmb. And i love you.
Rmb God? All the effort You've put in for me? Rmb how you brought funny ppl in my life who walked out ? And i never understood. Not at all till now. And now i can see You long had greater plans for me..so much better ppl in my life for me now. Rmb the words You've spoken over me? You rmb the times i cried before you? Rmb the time where for like.. MY WORD. I just rmb. Labour Day last year was the times i started crying myself to sleep for a few weeks non-stop. The same day i grew closer to most of the ppl i mentioned above. Rmb the times I just said I need You so much? The times i woke up at weird times of the nite and just ran to You? The times i was so afraid of stupid things and You were there? Like when i went to East timor. In the plane to bali? Rmb God? Rmb all the so many more things? Rmb when i hugged my pillow and said I wanted to hug You? Rmb when i asked You if you could give me a hug physically, and You showed me somehow You could? Rmb how You reminded me of Your great love?
I did. I did God. Maybe not as well as You. But God i pray i will always rmb and be grateful. I love You.
It was a long entry. And I'm in tears. I rmb the love. I cannot name all. But i love you guys. And i love God, and i know so many times i hurt Him. I take a knife and poke His palms with it. But He never left me, never gave up. All His thots toward me are good. I'm so touched God. By the love you've given me. Even thru giving me all these ppl. I love You. Give me grace to love You more and more each day.
Amen.
[ Added today: Guess at such a time where so many of us are down and out.. I wanna say I love you guys. God loves you guys. Even if He leads you into a place or situation you dun understd at all.. Rmb that His word is a lamp to our feet and He will NEVER NEVER NEVER give up on us.]
Wednesday, 28 April 2004
The 2.53am Entry.
Okay. I feel really really acomplished that i so have to type in down immediately. I just finished my lit essay -- character analysis. It's really not much to boast of. I tink its messy and all. I mean, structure, but bottom line is i made it. I actaully stayed awake to finish my essay. Yah. haha. Okay. Sorry. Suddenly the excitement wears off.
Ok. School's been pretty tough. Still so tired. But yah. I thank God for stuff like prayer meeting, sunday services, net, dinner with close friends, or msges from one close friend to another. Just, really somehow picks you up. Sorta gives you strength to run on.
Yah. Hahah. I'm feeling my first symptom! My throat's feeling weird. But hey. Dunno what to say bout it too.
Hahah, really alot to say. Dunno where to start at all. Bang? had lots of fun. Like reliving childhood all of us. Edge? hahah, funny one. but, yah.. was not really there. I mean. I was like so 'off' to another place. And i kept going toilet!! Sunday services? Fun.. Today's prayer meet? Cool.. did sound duty.. nigel's so crappy and funny.
yah. Thank God for frens who bother to msg me. It makes my day, makes me look forward to looking to end of sch.
Yah. pretty much done.
Nite ppl! : )
Okay. I feel really really acomplished that i so have to type in down immediately. I just finished my lit essay -- character analysis. It's really not much to boast of. I tink its messy and all. I mean, structure, but bottom line is i made it. I actaully stayed awake to finish my essay. Yah. haha. Okay. Sorry. Suddenly the excitement wears off.
Ok. School's been pretty tough. Still so tired. But yah. I thank God for stuff like prayer meeting, sunday services, net, dinner with close friends, or msges from one close friend to another. Just, really somehow picks you up. Sorta gives you strength to run on.
Yah. Hahah. I'm feeling my first symptom! My throat's feeling weird. But hey. Dunno what to say bout it too.
Hahah, really alot to say. Dunno where to start at all. Bang? had lots of fun. Like reliving childhood all of us. Edge? hahah, funny one. but, yah.. was not really there. I mean. I was like so 'off' to another place. And i kept going toilet!! Sunday services? Fun.. Today's prayer meet? Cool.. did sound duty.. nigel's so crappy and funny.
yah. Thank God for frens who bother to msg me. It makes my day, makes me look forward to looking to end of sch.
Yah. pretty much done.
Nite ppl! : )
Tuesday, 20 April 2004
The M18 entry
Warning : The following content is intended only for audiences aged 18 years and above. Minors please SHOO away NOW.
Haha, but if you wanna sneak and read on, I'm not asking for your ICs.
Yes! I wasn't in school on monday, woke up sunday nite to do homework till pretty late, so was too tired to go sch. But later during the day, really felt unwell. Think cos of irregular sleep and the lack of it. Yah, so wanted to meet some of them for dinner, and while they went to watch Passion after dinner, do homework with esther foong at whereever it is we were dinner-ing.
So on my way to westmall, (ok, just gotta say this. 187 stinks big time!!! The waits for the bus are SOOOOO irregular and so is the traveling time. Sometimes 15 mins can reach. Sometimes as bad as 45 min!! ARGH!) Anyways, yea while walking to westmall, Jason calls and says ,"You wanna watch Passion?" I was like.." yea.. i would, but i can go in meh?"
So we decide that we would just go ahead with buying the ticket for me.
Then we go to delifrance, where they eat, and i dun even tho i'm supposed to be meeting them for dinner. Yah then realise Jason has free ticket, so if i cannot go in then i dun have to pay still. Yah so we start planning -- If the auntie asks me, jason would hit me and say "What!??! You're not 18??". OR i could just hide between elvin and jason and rush to the toilet immediately when we go hand the tickets over.
Finally when we went up, Jason decided my 3/4s, colourful shirt, fuhua sec file 2003 and pencil box wasn't gonna help me in ANY way to get in, so we placed it in his "Lim's Living" paper bag and i would carry it to make me look older. Yah, so story goes on that the auntie is an unassuming lady who doesn't ask me for my IC despite my childish front. I GOT IN!!
Phew!
Yah, so in the cinema, we're early and I'm cold ( what's new?) and i get to use elvin's bag as sheild. (It plays a part in the story dun worry..) yah, so we sat there, the show started and i asked my dear da ge to warn me when the gory part comes. And he REFUSES! Haha, yah, so we just watch. Then when pilot said something, Elvin says," Oh no..it's coming..."
I tried counting the no. of times they flogged Jesus, but i couldn't continue on. I was just crying like a TAP!!! Vibrating tap!! Yah, quoting Elvin to someone asking if i cried, " Aiyah he.. need to ask meh?" Yah. I was like WAHHHHHH.. even tho the whole time elvin's bag covered half the screen for me. I didn't stain his new bag with my tears! honest! I didn't da ge!! I was cautiously crying!
yah, then we go on to the different parts and i was just crying and crying and crying and crying and you get the idea.I was mad at the roman soldiers and all, but i just kept saying to myself, "There are only 2 characters in this show-- Desmond and Jesus".. And i cried more.
After the movie, I just sat in my seat and elvin and jason just talked about the show. I wanted to laugh at this part of the conversation :
Elvin: Almost every name ends with an E or I or O
Jason after 1o secs : No.. no e's! I or A or O!
But i cld only sit and tear more! Man!!
I mean. Jesus went thru all that, becos all the time while He went thru everythg He did, He saw you and decided it was worth it. Cld feel God whispering as if, saying "Be Spirit-led.." I mean, letting the Holy Spirit take over.
Okee, really long entry. M18. I was sorta proud to be the youngest in the theater, like gives me the right to cry more than anyone else. Hahaha.
Yea, on ending, wanna say God's love is that simple. Jesus is God's love personified. And to my da ge, your bag was really dry, haha, you jerk! All you thot bout was your bag?!? haha.. I was careful not to wet it cos i know its new lah! hahah.. im so nice. sighz.
God's nicer. =)
Warning : The following content is intended only for audiences aged 18 years and above. Minors please SHOO away NOW.
Haha, but if you wanna sneak and read on, I'm not asking for your ICs.
Yes! I wasn't in school on monday, woke up sunday nite to do homework till pretty late, so was too tired to go sch. But later during the day, really felt unwell. Think cos of irregular sleep and the lack of it. Yah, so wanted to meet some of them for dinner, and while they went to watch Passion after dinner, do homework with esther foong at whereever it is we were dinner-ing.
So on my way to westmall, (ok, just gotta say this. 187 stinks big time!!! The waits for the bus are SOOOOO irregular and so is the traveling time. Sometimes 15 mins can reach. Sometimes as bad as 45 min!! ARGH!) Anyways, yea while walking to westmall, Jason calls and says ,"You wanna watch Passion?" I was like.." yea.. i would, but i can go in meh?"
So we decide that we would just go ahead with buying the ticket for me.
Then we go to delifrance, where they eat, and i dun even tho i'm supposed to be meeting them for dinner. Yah then realise Jason has free ticket, so if i cannot go in then i dun have to pay still. Yah so we start planning -- If the auntie asks me, jason would hit me and say "What!??! You're not 18??". OR i could just hide between elvin and jason and rush to the toilet immediately when we go hand the tickets over.
Finally when we went up, Jason decided my 3/4s, colourful shirt, fuhua sec file 2003 and pencil box wasn't gonna help me in ANY way to get in, so we placed it in his "Lim's Living" paper bag and i would carry it to make me look older. Yah, so story goes on that the auntie is an unassuming lady who doesn't ask me for my IC despite my childish front. I GOT IN!!
Phew!
Yah, so in the cinema, we're early and I'm cold ( what's new?) and i get to use elvin's bag as sheild. (It plays a part in the story dun worry..) yah, so we sat there, the show started and i asked my dear da ge to warn me when the gory part comes. And he REFUSES! Haha, yah, so we just watch. Then when pilot said something, Elvin says," Oh no..it's coming..."
I tried counting the no. of times they flogged Jesus, but i couldn't continue on. I was just crying like a TAP!!! Vibrating tap!! Yah, quoting Elvin to someone asking if i cried, " Aiyah he.. need to ask meh?" Yah. I was like WAHHHHHH.. even tho the whole time elvin's bag covered half the screen for me. I didn't stain his new bag with my tears! honest! I didn't da ge!! I was cautiously crying!
yah, then we go on to the different parts and i was just crying and crying and crying and crying and you get the idea.I was mad at the roman soldiers and all, but i just kept saying to myself, "There are only 2 characters in this show-- Desmond and Jesus".. And i cried more.
After the movie, I just sat in my seat and elvin and jason just talked about the show. I wanted to laugh at this part of the conversation :
Elvin: Almost every name ends with an E or I or O
Jason after 1o secs : No.. no e's! I or A or O!
But i cld only sit and tear more! Man!!
I mean. Jesus went thru all that, becos all the time while He went thru everythg He did, He saw you and decided it was worth it. Cld feel God whispering as if, saying "Be Spirit-led.." I mean, letting the Holy Spirit take over.
Okee, really long entry. M18. I was sorta proud to be the youngest in the theater, like gives me the right to cry more than anyone else. Hahaha.
Yea, on ending, wanna say God's love is that simple. Jesus is God's love personified. And to my da ge, your bag was really dry, haha, you jerk! All you thot bout was your bag?!? haha.. I was careful not to wet it cos i know its new lah! hahah.. im so nice. sighz.
God's nicer. =)
Saturday, 17 April 2004
The beloved entry.
Yep, just returned from M'sia from brother andrew and sis yu ping's wedding. Nice wedding lah, like held in a quiet estate. Alot of ppl! And like the wedding was not over-done and i dun tink it was under-done too. Just nice for the both of them. Wasn't really elaborate. We had erm..worship, haha.. and then the normal stuff with special items. One of which was the 'testimony' of the other J21 team. Seemed more like a sermon instead. Kai Loon the preacher!
Another was this performance by some of the church children. (Our sister church i suppose.) Yah, they came in with like basket balls and this particular boy also carried 2 balls, but large as in LARGE balls. He was like leading them la! So i was pretty impressed and like going ,"Awww.. cute..."
Then i hear someone, till now i know not who, who says, "They're autistic you know..?"
W..H...A....T?!?! These kids? Autistic?
---Sience in desmond's mind.---
Not that i look down on them. But just, so taken back. They looked so normal. Anyways.. after tt, seeing them made me smile even more.
There was a teacher there who brought the mic up to them as they were like doing stunts with their basket balls, and they each said a short phrase. In particular, the last boy's phrase just almost brought me to tears.
In Christ, I am smart.. I am brilliant.. and I can do ALL things.
Pause.
Desmond thinks to himself, " My word. He truely believes what He says. If He has such faith in God despite his undeniable condition, why do we have to fear that we don't match up to other's expectations? Cos in Christ, all unworthiness and class and ranks have been dispelled."
Yep. This is for you, the one thinking you aren't as worthy as your good fren, that you aren't as worthy as a close fren, aren't as worthy as anyone else at all, INCLUDING the guy walking down the street this moment outside your window. You may not be worthy in the world's measurements, but we aren't from this world. We are all equal, are beloved of Christ, and all made worthy by the scars on Christ.
You may look down on yourself. But know this. God doesn't look down on you. He's so proud of you, so proud so proud of you. Just remain tender before Him.
This trip reminded of so many things tt happened in my childhood. Words that ppl said of me. Good and bad. Just like 2 days. I love my God.
Yep, just returned from M'sia from brother andrew and sis yu ping's wedding. Nice wedding lah, like held in a quiet estate. Alot of ppl! And like the wedding was not over-done and i dun tink it was under-done too. Just nice for the both of them. Wasn't really elaborate. We had erm..worship, haha.. and then the normal stuff with special items. One of which was the 'testimony' of the other J21 team. Seemed more like a sermon instead. Kai Loon the preacher!
Another was this performance by some of the church children. (Our sister church i suppose.) Yah, they came in with like basket balls and this particular boy also carried 2 balls, but large as in LARGE balls. He was like leading them la! So i was pretty impressed and like going ,"Awww.. cute..."
Then i hear someone, till now i know not who, who says, "They're autistic you know..?"
W..H...A....T?!?! These kids? Autistic?
---Sience in desmond's mind.---
Not that i look down on them. But just, so taken back. They looked so normal. Anyways.. after tt, seeing them made me smile even more.
There was a teacher there who brought the mic up to them as they were like doing stunts with their basket balls, and they each said a short phrase. In particular, the last boy's phrase just almost brought me to tears.
In Christ, I am smart.. I am brilliant.. and I can do ALL things.
Pause.
Desmond thinks to himself, " My word. He truely believes what He says. If He has such faith in God despite his undeniable condition, why do we have to fear that we don't match up to other's expectations? Cos in Christ, all unworthiness and class and ranks have been dispelled."
Yep. This is for you, the one thinking you aren't as worthy as your good fren, that you aren't as worthy as a close fren, aren't as worthy as anyone else at all, INCLUDING the guy walking down the street this moment outside your window. You may not be worthy in the world's measurements, but we aren't from this world. We are all equal, are beloved of Christ, and all made worthy by the scars on Christ.
You may look down on yourself. But know this. God doesn't look down on you. He's so proud of you, so proud so proud of you. Just remain tender before Him.
This trip reminded of so many things tt happened in my childhood. Words that ppl said of me. Good and bad. Just like 2 days. I love my God.
Thursday, 15 April 2004
The peached-flavoured entry.
You know how is it that when you meet with an interesting incident during the day, you just say to yourself," That's gonna be in my blog today?" Yep. I have something from tuesday.
It's a peached-flavoured sweet! Okay, i admit. I dun really have it. Unless you mean in my tummy.. -rubs tummy, satisfied.-
So what's the deal bout a sweet kiddo? Simple. I rushed from sch to prayer meetin, and was on GP, yah. So i was late like 25 min. hahah.. So the person on GP with me gives me a sweet. Then she gave me another sweet, but this one is a peached-flavoured one. She was teling me her lecturer gave it to them cos it was their last lecture.. and i asked her," You know where to get it meh?"
"No.. ask my lecturer lah.."
Which touched me alot. Cos.. its like.. something that she has so little of. I mean.. she had to dig her bag for the sweets and it was from her lecturer, meaning she didn't know where it came from. And she liked it alot!! But she was so happy to give it to me. I was so touched.
Ok fine. I'm easily touched and moved to tears.
I wasn't moved to tears this time if you're asking tho. But was touched lah! Thinking back, it was like the woman with the Jar of alabaster.I mean, WOW.
I wanna be able to love God with an attitude as such. To give without fear of losing.
I wanna give the lost an Answer. That I know where to get from.
Yep. Peached flavoured sweet. Hmm.. It was nice!! Btw, anyone know where to get it?? hahaha... Yea. With the same measure that God gave us. I mean, He gave just like that.
WOW! I has so many paragraphs!! Haha, ok. Yah. I'm done. You're done with reading. Nite you little sleepyhead!! =)
You know how is it that when you meet with an interesting incident during the day, you just say to yourself," That's gonna be in my blog today?" Yep. I have something from tuesday.
It's a peached-flavoured sweet! Okay, i admit. I dun really have it. Unless you mean in my tummy.. -rubs tummy, satisfied.-
So what's the deal bout a sweet kiddo? Simple. I rushed from sch to prayer meetin, and was on GP, yah. So i was late like 25 min. hahah.. So the person on GP with me gives me a sweet. Then she gave me another sweet, but this one is a peached-flavoured one. She was teling me her lecturer gave it to them cos it was their last lecture.. and i asked her," You know where to get it meh?"
"No.. ask my lecturer lah.."
Which touched me alot. Cos.. its like.. something that she has so little of. I mean.. she had to dig her bag for the sweets and it was from her lecturer, meaning she didn't know where it came from. And she liked it alot!! But she was so happy to give it to me. I was so touched.
Ok fine. I'm easily touched and moved to tears.
I wasn't moved to tears this time if you're asking tho. But was touched lah! Thinking back, it was like the woman with the Jar of alabaster.I mean, WOW.
I wanna be able to love God with an attitude as such. To give without fear of losing.
I wanna give the lost an Answer. That I know where to get from.
Yep. Peached flavoured sweet. Hmm.. It was nice!! Btw, anyone know where to get it?? hahaha... Yea. With the same measure that God gave us. I mean, He gave just like that.
WOW! I has so many paragraphs!! Haha, ok. Yah. I'm done. You're done with reading. Nite you little sleepyhead!! =)
Sunday, 11 April 2004
The bone entry.
With the recent passion, Christ's death, Ressurection kinda thing around now, I gotta blog bout it too. Okay, I HAVEN"T watched passion. Now now.. stop the jeering. Tsk tsk, the power of the spoken word. hahahaha... yes. But i did watch Fosaken, A VFC production.©.2004.
Lights out.
Lights In after 2 sec interval.Scene takes place at a plain.
Desmond : Oh? Jesus.. You serious? That happened? Wow.. i never knew the Father's love was like that. Oh.. bread? THANK YOU Rabbi, i was hungry.. You sure take care of me.. I love You..
Lights out. 2 sec interval.
Lights in.Scene takes place at Golgotha.
Desmond : Crucify Him! Crucify Him!!
Lights out. 2 sec interval.
Desmond :(aloud to himself) I can't bear to watch.. Its.. its.. too....
Camera zoomz in on Desmond. Streams of tears roll down.
Yah. i cried. SILLY!!! But i tink i did lights bout 5 times.. rehearsals and actual. And I cried 3 times. I just cldn't bear to watch them 'drive' a nail thru Jesus's hands. I mean. It was me. I was the one who drove the nails thru His hands. I was the one who whipped him till the flesh hung just by the thin layer of delicate skin, painted red with fresh and dried blood. I spat at him. I was the one who did all that and more DESPITE the fact tt He spent so much time. preaching to me, talking to me, feeding me bread, just treating me like a good fren.
I betrayed my good fren. I did not help Him or stand beside Him. In fact i turned around and threw stones at Him (and the Roman guard while i was at it.. just for the kick i get out of being sadistic.hahaha... joke la!)
You see. Its confusing yah, but my point is. I was the one who He loved,the one who said I loved Him. The one who brought Him before Pilate. I was the one who beat and flogged Him, 39 times, cos i didn't want His blood to be on my hands if i flogged Him one last time and took his last breath away from Him. I was the one who kicked Him on the way to the cross. The one who cried out "Crucify Him!". I was the one drove the nail into his bones. And he knew it was me. But He went ahead with the nailing thing.
I wonder if He struggled before the nail was knocked in. I wonder if He winced in agony when His flesh-baring back was placed on the cross. I wonder if He made noises of pain in attempts to relieve a puny bit of pain.
But i tink. No. He didn't struggle. Cos He saw me. And He knew He had to die to snatch my soul from where it was, and into the gates of heaven.
I cried. Did He? I tink He did.
I died. He did too. But He gave me life anew, when He died and rose again.
Lalalalla....... okok.. thank You Lord..
Nice work ppl!! Forsaken was a success. I actually worried one part tt no one wld go for altar call. but God seemed to say, "Hey.. even if no one came out, you wouldn't be the one put to shame. It wld be Me. But then again child, I will never be shamed. Becos somehow, a work will always be done."
Yep. God IS good.
With the recent passion, Christ's death, Ressurection kinda thing around now, I gotta blog bout it too. Okay, I HAVEN"T watched passion. Now now.. stop the jeering. Tsk tsk, the power of the spoken word. hahahaha... yes. But i did watch Fosaken, A VFC production.©.2004.
Lights out.
Lights In after 2 sec interval.Scene takes place at a plain.
Desmond : Oh? Jesus.. You serious? That happened? Wow.. i never knew the Father's love was like that. Oh.. bread? THANK YOU Rabbi, i was hungry.. You sure take care of me.. I love You..
Lights out. 2 sec interval.
Lights in.Scene takes place at Golgotha.
Desmond : Crucify Him! Crucify Him!!
Lights out. 2 sec interval.
Desmond :(aloud to himself) I can't bear to watch.. Its.. its.. too....
Camera zoomz in on Desmond. Streams of tears roll down.
Yah. i cried. SILLY!!! But i tink i did lights bout 5 times.. rehearsals and actual. And I cried 3 times. I just cldn't bear to watch them 'drive' a nail thru Jesus's hands. I mean. It was me. I was the one who drove the nails thru His hands. I was the one who whipped him till the flesh hung just by the thin layer of delicate skin, painted red with fresh and dried blood. I spat at him. I was the one who did all that and more DESPITE the fact tt He spent so much time. preaching to me, talking to me, feeding me bread, just treating me like a good fren.
I betrayed my good fren. I did not help Him or stand beside Him. In fact i turned around and threw stones at Him (and the Roman guard while i was at it.. just for the kick i get out of being sadistic.hahaha... joke la!)
You see. Its confusing yah, but my point is. I was the one who He loved,the one who said I loved Him. The one who brought Him before Pilate. I was the one who beat and flogged Him, 39 times, cos i didn't want His blood to be on my hands if i flogged Him one last time and took his last breath away from Him. I was the one who kicked Him on the way to the cross. The one who cried out "Crucify Him!". I was the one drove the nail into his bones. And he knew it was me. But He went ahead with the nailing thing.
I wonder if He struggled before the nail was knocked in. I wonder if He winced in agony when His flesh-baring back was placed on the cross. I wonder if He made noises of pain in attempts to relieve a puny bit of pain.
But i tink. No. He didn't struggle. Cos He saw me. And He knew He had to die to snatch my soul from where it was, and into the gates of heaven.
I cried. Did He? I tink He did.
I died. He did too. But He gave me life anew, when He died and rose again.
Lalalalla....... okok.. thank You Lord..
Nice work ppl!! Forsaken was a success. I actually worried one part tt no one wld go for altar call. but God seemed to say, "Hey.. even if no one came out, you wouldn't be the one put to shame. It wld be Me. But then again child, I will never be shamed. Becos somehow, a work will always be done."
Yep. God IS good.
Wednesday, 7 April 2004
The no more! entry.
Okay man. I've decided not to whine any longer about my horrid timetable. I have been trying since monday not to grumble about the late evenings and early mornings and 1 hour breaks a day.( God is good, i have a empty period on mon cos i dun take chinese b.) Yep. I dun wanna keep whining, cos ultimately I was the one who chose my own subj. Not that i blame anyone for my plight, but i see no reason why they shld suffer my insistent complaints that i have a timetable i'm terribly cheesed off with. It's better now lah, not that i'm used to it but, just taking it in my stride. AND thank God for weds where i end at 1, if nexus meets on another day.
Yep, class hasn't been good, but definately not the worst. I'm still surviving and will survive. They are abit exclusive, but i still can mix abit. Not that bad lah, its a crazy class. Some ppl are lame and sociable, some others are offensive in their attempts to be lame. Others just come off as irritating, but yea no ill intentions. Teachers are fine. Some are not very nice, as in strict and cannot teach, but they are humane. We are all imperfect anyway.
One thing that really scares me is PE. Another is Lit. Dun get me wrong. It's nice and fun. But I have alot of readings. ALOT. And cos its gothic lit, its sorta scary. Haunting. Esp when you have a funny imagination like me, you'll get caught in the book. And some of it its not nice stuff, like.. man. Supernatural. Its just not nice. Almost feel like you need spiritual covering.
Anyways, enough of my sch.
Today i came back early. And i watched my first cartoon in days. Duck tales. Uncle scrooge was a mean guy, didn't lend his cash to poor 'frens', donating 1o bucks to charity with a 1ooo dollar note and asking for change and the like. Suddenly this guy came to demand payment from him - debt from 2 generations ago. So Uncle scrooge lost all his money, then his poor 'fren' helped him when the others didn't. This poor fren owed a ship which was destroyed becos he helped uncle scrooge. Anyways, cut things short, he paid the 'debt' to the bad guy. And he decided to help the poor needy, and bought a new ship for his poor fren whose boat was destroyed.
Your typical disney cartoon. All ends well.
Of cos i didn't do a nice job of relating it to you. But i realised i missed such cartoons. I miss the old times. I sorta miss the times where we just didn't have so much nonsense and work and quarrels. Sort of wished that we could be like the old times. Where quarrels and I-won't-talk-to-you-any-more-s lasted like 5 mins. Where somehow, everything works out well in the end. Like a cartoon. That everything will work out well at the end of 3o min in front of the tv.
I love You God. I love my family. I love my frens.
I miss you guys. Sometimes I am just haughty.
But it doesn't mean i dun love you guys.
I do. But i forget so often that i shld respect you guys.
I love the old time singing shouting
I love the old time way
I love the old time singing shouting
Praying praising
I love the old time way
Okay man. I've decided not to whine any longer about my horrid timetable. I have been trying since monday not to grumble about the late evenings and early mornings and 1 hour breaks a day.( God is good, i have a empty period on mon cos i dun take chinese b.) Yep. I dun wanna keep whining, cos ultimately I was the one who chose my own subj. Not that i blame anyone for my plight, but i see no reason why they shld suffer my insistent complaints that i have a timetable i'm terribly cheesed off with. It's better now lah, not that i'm used to it but, just taking it in my stride. AND thank God for weds where i end at 1, if nexus meets on another day.
Yep, class hasn't been good, but definately not the worst. I'm still surviving and will survive. They are abit exclusive, but i still can mix abit. Not that bad lah, its a crazy class. Some ppl are lame and sociable, some others are offensive in their attempts to be lame. Others just come off as irritating, but yea no ill intentions. Teachers are fine. Some are not very nice, as in strict and cannot teach, but they are humane. We are all imperfect anyway.
One thing that really scares me is PE. Another is Lit. Dun get me wrong. It's nice and fun. But I have alot of readings. ALOT. And cos its gothic lit, its sorta scary. Haunting. Esp when you have a funny imagination like me, you'll get caught in the book. And some of it its not nice stuff, like.. man. Supernatural. Its just not nice. Almost feel like you need spiritual covering.
Anyways, enough of my sch.
Today i came back early. And i watched my first cartoon in days. Duck tales. Uncle scrooge was a mean guy, didn't lend his cash to poor 'frens', donating 1o bucks to charity with a 1ooo dollar note and asking for change and the like. Suddenly this guy came to demand payment from him - debt from 2 generations ago. So Uncle scrooge lost all his money, then his poor 'fren' helped him when the others didn't. This poor fren owed a ship which was destroyed becos he helped uncle scrooge. Anyways, cut things short, he paid the 'debt' to the bad guy. And he decided to help the poor needy, and bought a new ship for his poor fren whose boat was destroyed.
Your typical disney cartoon. All ends well.
Of cos i didn't do a nice job of relating it to you. But i realised i missed such cartoons. I miss the old times. I sorta miss the times where we just didn't have so much nonsense and work and quarrels. Sort of wished that we could be like the old times. Where quarrels and I-won't-talk-to-you-any-more-s lasted like 5 mins. Where somehow, everything works out well in the end. Like a cartoon. That everything will work out well at the end of 3o min in front of the tv.
I love You God. I love my family. I love my frens.
I miss you guys. Sometimes I am just haughty.
But it doesn't mean i dun love you guys.
I do. But i forget so often that i shld respect you guys.
I love the old time singing shouting
I love the old time way
I love the old time singing shouting
Praying praising
I love the old time way
Monday, 29 March 2004
The relaxed entry
I'm so relaxed now. Not enough energy to be hyper or to do anything else, but just enough to sit, type, watch tv, sing oldies!! Enough to think about stuff. I'm like actualy dying to talk to someone now. Okay, maybe not talk because i can't really do that. Maybe just hang out.. No one online. Strange.
Okay, i'm just gonna say whatever i want at random. Today did sound for prayer. Haha, ok fine, i was just listening to the walkie and relaying msg/ rebutts/ defensive remarks. Haha.. and I can't relay stories for nuts, so the effect was all lost when i relayed the msges.
-lays head back down, on chair. Lift hands and pray. haha, ok no. Just laying my head back down.-
Just realised after i typed tt sentence, has been like almost 45 min or so before i start typing again. I'm tired man. I dun want to continue. Okay, well, i actually typed one whole paragraph, but i backspaced it. My mind's a total blank man. I'm really too sleepy i think. I'm going.
Nite ppl. Our God is good.
HAHAHA, my dad just said going out to get some supper. I'm awake again. Okay, I'm sorry.. week of prayer and fasting. But I didn't eat breakfast and lunch. And almost forgot dinner. =( "hahaa.. don't justify yourself desmonde." I wonder what I'll get. I'll go nap for about 15 min first.
I love you guys.
Pray, get on thy knees for thy fellow brethren whose earthen vessels are inflicted. Hahaha.. What nonsense!! No wonder!! Look at the time ppl, 11.05! My 11pm syndrom is up again! Haha, I mean to say, Pray for ppl ard who are sick. Among these are, alphabetical order, " Elvin, Eric (He's really poofed out la..), Esthers, Joash, Jonathan and somemore others.. Flu's in the air.. drink lots of water. Who do you guys think you are? Me?? hahaahha..
Yup.. end here, real relaxed right? Just telling you about everything and nothing.. :)
Be Blessed! Thank You God.
-----
11.35pm -- Its mee goreng!! with lots of potato!! hahah.. yup. okay.. gonna go sleep after tt.. pray i dun grow fat. haha.. nite again ppl!
I'm so relaxed now. Not enough energy to be hyper or to do anything else, but just enough to sit, type, watch tv, sing oldies!! Enough to think about stuff. I'm like actualy dying to talk to someone now. Okay, maybe not talk because i can't really do that. Maybe just hang out.. No one online. Strange.
Okay, i'm just gonna say whatever i want at random. Today did sound for prayer. Haha, ok fine, i was just listening to the walkie and relaying msg/ rebutts/ defensive remarks. Haha.. and I can't relay stories for nuts, so the effect was all lost when i relayed the msges.
-lays head back down, on chair. Lift hands and pray. haha, ok no. Just laying my head back down.-
Just realised after i typed tt sentence, has been like almost 45 min or so before i start typing again. I'm tired man. I dun want to continue. Okay, well, i actually typed one whole paragraph, but i backspaced it. My mind's a total blank man. I'm really too sleepy i think. I'm going.
Nite ppl. Our God is good.
HAHAHA, my dad just said going out to get some supper. I'm awake again. Okay, I'm sorry.. week of prayer and fasting. But I didn't eat breakfast and lunch. And almost forgot dinner. =( "hahaa.. don't justify yourself desmonde." I wonder what I'll get. I'll go nap for about 15 min first.
I love you guys.
Pray, get on thy knees for thy fellow brethren whose earthen vessels are inflicted. Hahaha.. What nonsense!! No wonder!! Look at the time ppl, 11.05! My 11pm syndrom is up again! Haha, I mean to say, Pray for ppl ard who are sick. Among these are, alphabetical order, " Elvin, Eric (He's really poofed out la..), Esthers, Joash, Jonathan and somemore others.. Flu's in the air.. drink lots of water. Who do you guys think you are? Me?? hahaahha..
Yup.. end here, real relaxed right? Just telling you about everything and nothing.. :)
Be Blessed! Thank You God.
-----
11.35pm -- Its mee goreng!! with lots of potato!! hahah.. yup. okay.. gonna go sleep after tt.. pray i dun grow fat. haha.. nite again ppl!
Saturday, 27 March 2004
The childcare centre entry.
I trod along the path; I had just gotten off the bus (service number 334). I was returning from morning prayer and breakfast, and was carrying a big bulky box, when i suddenly wondered. A thought just popped out of no where. Who loves?
I had nearly thought there was none who loved. Just then I passed by the childcare centre at the end of the short pathway.
--- enough of essay style writing. i can't do it well. ---
Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible Tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
Yes. That's what i heard. Sung by children. Sung at such a timely moment, when i happened to be questioning. God is so good. And He uses the funniest things to get His point across. How true that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. AND that, that is so reassuring. He's not going to make a mistake.
Yup. His grace is sufficient for us. His cup overflows!! woohoo!!
Can't wait for edge. Can't wait to see how God does His thing again..
I trod along the path; I had just gotten off the bus (service number 334). I was returning from morning prayer and breakfast, and was carrying a big bulky box, when i suddenly wondered. A thought just popped out of no where. Who loves?
I had nearly thought there was none who loved. Just then I passed by the childcare centre at the end of the short pathway.
--- enough of essay style writing. i can't do it well. ---
Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible Tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
Yes. That's what i heard. Sung by children. Sung at such a timely moment, when i happened to be questioning. God is so good. And He uses the funniest things to get His point across. How true that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. AND that, that is so reassuring. He's not going to make a mistake.
Yup. His grace is sufficient for us. His cup overflows!! woohoo!!
Can't wait for edge. Can't wait to see how God does His thing again..
Monday, 22 March 2004
The messed entry.
Wah dey. I really feel like i messed up man. Sighs, my God is a God of second chances is He not?
I just finished showering. Smell nice, feel nice, am nice! Haha, and i was just thinking of some of the comments i heard bout me. Just heard one today. Haha, a normal one for me, as in, its been said of and to me before. And yep, you're right. I don't understand when its said, even tho I understand why its said of me. Its almost as if, i know why I'm 'described' that way, but i don't expect to be called that.
Hmmm..
Then i thought of some nicer comments. And I smiled to myself;" Yea right.Like why did they say what they did?" I have no idea why that was said. But i rmbed there and then, something someone once told me. "You don't have to understand why God loves you, you just have to know.". Guess its the same thing huh? Cos they see what you CAN be, rather than what you are now. That's how God sees us. This was also mentioned in one of the evening srvcs. I thought. And smiled to myself. How true. He has loved you with an everlasting Love.
God is good. Thank God for God. Haven't said that in a long while man.
Have we forgotten the simple things, like just thanking Him for simple stuff? The air that we breathe, the grace He gives us that we can live for the next moment? Nice to think of His goodness for simple things like these. Cos it makes you realise that He is really God. And He has all right to zap you up right now. But He chooses to let you live another moment, and another moment, and another moment. and another second, and another mili second and it goes on. He makes the decision every moment to let us live for the next; all becos He has a good plan for us. An unmatchable plan.
Boy, He is good.
More than the air I breathe
More than song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back
To my old life
Cos I never want to go back to... my old life.
Thank You Lord.
Wah dey. I really feel like i messed up man. Sighs, my God is a God of second chances is He not?
I just finished showering. Smell nice, feel nice, am nice! Haha, and i was just thinking of some of the comments i heard bout me. Just heard one today. Haha, a normal one for me, as in, its been said of and to me before. And yep, you're right. I don't understand when its said, even tho I understand why its said of me. Its almost as if, i know why I'm 'described' that way, but i don't expect to be called that.
Hmmm..
Then i thought of some nicer comments. And I smiled to myself;" Yea right.Like why did they say what they did?" I have no idea why that was said. But i rmbed there and then, something someone once told me. "You don't have to understand why God loves you, you just have to know.". Guess its the same thing huh? Cos they see what you CAN be, rather than what you are now. That's how God sees us. This was also mentioned in one of the evening srvcs. I thought. And smiled to myself. How true. He has loved you with an everlasting Love.
God is good. Thank God for God. Haven't said that in a long while man.
Have we forgotten the simple things, like just thanking Him for simple stuff? The air that we breathe, the grace He gives us that we can live for the next moment? Nice to think of His goodness for simple things like these. Cos it makes you realise that He is really God. And He has all right to zap you up right now. But He chooses to let you live another moment, and another moment, and another moment. and another second, and another mili second and it goes on. He makes the decision every moment to let us live for the next; all becos He has a good plan for us. An unmatchable plan.
Boy, He is good.
More than the air I breathe
More than song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back
To my old life
Cos I never want to go back to... my old life.
Thank You Lord.
Thursday, 18 March 2004
The Synergized Entry.
Yep, I'm back from conference. Nice, conference was nice. Think the main focus i gathered from the Planet Shakers band was to be free in worship.
This is getting boring huh? Yup, I'll say whatever happened these few days that had deep impacts on me.
My fun-nest moment?? Guess it'll have to be helping to sell the t-shirts. Haha, i was there buying shirts for some of the guys, and i stood beside the table, happened to be, i knew the lady at the counter (for less than 15 min from that time). And i have no idea up till now why ppl started asking me what size was this, any other cuts. I told them,"Huh, erm.. this is.. erm..*compares with another shirt*.. the .. erm.. bigger one!! And erm, i'm not from the stall..*sheepish smile*." Haha, and they're like so taken back, "Ohh.. erm.. sorry.."
Guess maybe God wanted me to help her. The stall really had alot of ppl everywhere. As in asking questions from everywhere of the table, which wasn't very big anyway, like 4 CCK sanctuary chairs. I took one half of the table and she took the other half. And i got her to tell me what size is what size. Then after that, i morphed into Salesman Desmond! "Yes yes, this is the largest we have, haha, im sorry.. but it fits you fine lar!! Dun need so big.." or "Yep, this is the smallest, but if you want, we have a ladies cut (the baby cut) but that has only one size, M. That's pretty small.. so can fit you one lar! What's the difference you say? Oh, the sleeves are cut yea.. " and after all that," Okay, thank you thank you, that'll be 20 bucks. *wide smile* "
And after the exicitement and all, I was just like looking at the lady (Whose name i also dunno!!!!!!!!) and like smiling tiredly, and she's like," Thank You desmond, ohh you wanted shirts right?" And then i went yah.. She starts laughing and says," Yea, haha.. after you asked for the 8 thousand time." Haha.. yea. It was then i realised my intention there was to get elvin, jerome's and sam's shirts. Haha, i knew sam and jerome wanted M, cos at least joel didn't reply me to tell me they had complains when i asked him. But elvin.. yea.. the one i had no idea what to get. Cos S and M didn't seem to have much diff. And angel ruixiong and weiling were like.. M. But i was wondering becos i always wear same size as him, and i got S. So we were wondering, and then the lady, she found this weird shirt that was slightly smaller than M, but bigger than S and i got it for him! God really blessed, hope it fits well elvin!!
The lady was like, "See? becos you wanted to bless others, God blessed you!" I laughed.. haha, when we were buying our own shirts, an hour before i helped sell, the guy selling asked what region of VFC we were from. I said, "Erm.. the best?" and the lady was there, and she asked angel if i was the cutest (as in silly) guy in the region. Haha, i was very happy naturally. Becos, when you try to be crappy and no one laughs its quite demoralising. hahaha.. esp since its from some nice lady, its better! To think i knew her from helping her usher in ppl on mon night as i was waiting for someone.. hahah.
Yep, said so much. Only one part of the conference. But it really picked me up.. the going crazy selling the shirts, perspiring, (not to mention being beside some good looking lady whose name and church i not know of!!!) and running ard getting this and that for him and her and them. I was pretty much feeling weird thruout the conference and selling the shirts was sort of God's way of saying," Hey, I'm still your Daddy you know, I can still make things happen for you!" He made me glad, without me having to ask. And i was so supremely happy selling the stuff. (becos the lady was nice and warm and pretty? )haha.. More than that, nice to see the smile on ppl's faces when they get the shirts. And being crappy and crazy, knowing that all you did was unto God.
Planet shakers was good, the jumps were good, the claps were good, the dances were fun, NOPE, NOT those by the pink hair and his fren. Thise were silly. The Jesus Cheer was so fun! Yep, and God speaks and shows, like stuff that is what the Evans guy sees and hears. Fun..
Bottom line is God rocks, His children have liberty in Him, have everything.. and more than that, the victory in Him!!
Amen. Thank You God. ( help me find the lady again please God..) *smile*
Yep, I'm back from conference. Nice, conference was nice. Think the main focus i gathered from the Planet Shakers band was to be free in worship.
This is getting boring huh? Yup, I'll say whatever happened these few days that had deep impacts on me.
My fun-nest moment?? Guess it'll have to be helping to sell the t-shirts. Haha, i was there buying shirts for some of the guys, and i stood beside the table, happened to be, i knew the lady at the counter (for less than 15 min from that time). And i have no idea up till now why ppl started asking me what size was this, any other cuts. I told them,"Huh, erm.. this is.. erm..*compares with another shirt*.. the .. erm.. bigger one!! And erm, i'm not from the stall..*sheepish smile*." Haha, and they're like so taken back, "Ohh.. erm.. sorry.."
Guess maybe God wanted me to help her. The stall really had alot of ppl everywhere. As in asking questions from everywhere of the table, which wasn't very big anyway, like 4 CCK sanctuary chairs. I took one half of the table and she took the other half. And i got her to tell me what size is what size. Then after that, i morphed into Salesman Desmond! "Yes yes, this is the largest we have, haha, im sorry.. but it fits you fine lar!! Dun need so big.." or "Yep, this is the smallest, but if you want, we have a ladies cut (the baby cut) but that has only one size, M. That's pretty small.. so can fit you one lar! What's the difference you say? Oh, the sleeves are cut yea.. " and after all that," Okay, thank you thank you, that'll be 20 bucks. *wide smile* "
And after the exicitement and all, I was just like looking at the lady (Whose name i also dunno!!!!!!!!) and like smiling tiredly, and she's like," Thank You desmond, ohh you wanted shirts right?" And then i went yah.. She starts laughing and says," Yea, haha.. after you asked for the 8 thousand time." Haha.. yea. It was then i realised my intention there was to get elvin, jerome's and sam's shirts. Haha, i knew sam and jerome wanted M, cos at least joel didn't reply me to tell me they had complains when i asked him. But elvin.. yea.. the one i had no idea what to get. Cos S and M didn't seem to have much diff. And angel ruixiong and weiling were like.. M. But i was wondering becos i always wear same size as him, and i got S. So we were wondering, and then the lady, she found this weird shirt that was slightly smaller than M, but bigger than S and i got it for him! God really blessed, hope it fits well elvin!!
The lady was like, "See? becos you wanted to bless others, God blessed you!" I laughed.. haha, when we were buying our own shirts, an hour before i helped sell, the guy selling asked what region of VFC we were from. I said, "Erm.. the best?" and the lady was there, and she asked angel if i was the cutest (as in silly) guy in the region. Haha, i was very happy naturally. Becos, when you try to be crappy and no one laughs its quite demoralising. hahaha.. esp since its from some nice lady, its better! To think i knew her from helping her usher in ppl on mon night as i was waiting for someone.. hahah.
Yep, said so much. Only one part of the conference. But it really picked me up.. the going crazy selling the shirts, perspiring, (not to mention being beside some good looking lady whose name and church i not know of!!!) and running ard getting this and that for him and her and them. I was pretty much feeling weird thruout the conference and selling the shirts was sort of God's way of saying," Hey, I'm still your Daddy you know, I can still make things happen for you!" He made me glad, without me having to ask. And i was so supremely happy selling the stuff. (becos the lady was nice and warm and pretty? )haha.. More than that, nice to see the smile on ppl's faces when they get the shirts. And being crappy and crazy, knowing that all you did was unto God.
Planet shakers was good, the jumps were good, the claps were good, the dances were fun, NOPE, NOT those by the pink hair and his fren. Thise were silly. The Jesus Cheer was so fun! Yep, and God speaks and shows, like stuff that is what the Evans guy sees and hears. Fun..
Bottom line is God rocks, His children have liberty in Him, have everything.. and more than that, the victory in Him!!
Amen. Thank You God. ( help me find the lady again please God..) *smile*
Tuesday, 9 March 2004
The Weepy Entry
I just heard a song. And Its a weepy song. Haha, Remember Missin' You? Yup. I found it's cousin song. Hahah.. a song that has the capacity of making me cry that badly.And i mean badly. Thank God no one was home then. Haha.. what is it you ask? I'm not saying. Get those brain juices going!! I'll drop hints. So fun so fun. Haha..
Yesterday was cold weather day. So supremely cold! So i woke up this morning, my fingers numb and cold. Haha, i slept with the fan on last night!! Haha.. What has it got to do with the song you ask? Well, Nothing much, just had to say something about the day being cold, since everyone else is doing it.
Yesterday, they were askin for help encounter this sat. I rmb the last time i helped in encounter, Gp. I rmb when i did it,it was only the 5th or 6th time i did Gp, and it was the best i ever did. Honestly, none of my other Gp-ings could be compared to that time i did it. It was for the single men, Elvin was leading, Bro Mohan shared. Ok.. that was morning. After that at the combined men session (married and single ya??), i wasn't on duty. So i just sat quietly outside. And when i went in to take a peek, immediately i rushed out. Hey, you would too if you saw a whole room of men crying. And mind you, I cry more easily than all of them. So to save myself from crying, natural thing to do is come out lah.
That's the first clue.
I'll give you 2 clues at a time.
Crying men at the encounter. Why? Becos bro andrew was telling of Jesus's walk to the cross. That passage to death. Man, gives me goosebumps.
That measure of love. Nothing would stop Him from dying. Even if it was that scary. Bet you His fingers were numb and cold. Bet you he was trembling. Bet you He never once stopped praying and talking to God. Bet you He felt lonely and cold, yet His face was burning from all the stares and the laughter and the mocking.
Why did He do it then? For the lost? The dying?
For you.
Even if its was only you whom He could save, He would have continued on. No. I'm not speaking to some unsaved person here. Sure He died for them. But I'm speaking to the saved, the ones called Children of the Almighty. The ones who constantly forget His great love becos we are so accustomed to it.
No more game. I'll give you the song.
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my Dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
You said He was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow He knew things would get stormy
Boy was He right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something He had to hide
So after He left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"
"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"
-Why?
Nichole Nordeman.
Hah, cried again. I keep forgetting that great Love. I keep looking towards myself and see the failures and the nonsense and unworthiness in me. Do we forget that great Love has conquered all? Why then are we living in our own worlds as if the whole world owes us? That God owes us? Don't you think it hurts Him? I'm guilty of all that. We owe Him. Not the other way around.
Nice song.. very weepy.. =)
I just heard a song. And Its a weepy song. Haha, Remember Missin' You? Yup. I found it's cousin song. Hahah.. a song that has the capacity of making me cry that badly.And i mean badly. Thank God no one was home then. Haha.. what is it you ask? I'm not saying. Get those brain juices going!! I'll drop hints. So fun so fun. Haha..
Yesterday was cold weather day. So supremely cold! So i woke up this morning, my fingers numb and cold. Haha, i slept with the fan on last night!! Haha.. What has it got to do with the song you ask? Well, Nothing much, just had to say something about the day being cold, since everyone else is doing it.
Yesterday, they were askin for help encounter this sat. I rmb the last time i helped in encounter, Gp. I rmb when i did it,it was only the 5th or 6th time i did Gp, and it was the best i ever did. Honestly, none of my other Gp-ings could be compared to that time i did it. It was for the single men, Elvin was leading, Bro Mohan shared. Ok.. that was morning. After that at the combined men session (married and single ya??), i wasn't on duty. So i just sat quietly outside. And when i went in to take a peek, immediately i rushed out. Hey, you would too if you saw a whole room of men crying. And mind you, I cry more easily than all of them. So to save myself from crying, natural thing to do is come out lah.
That's the first clue.
I'll give you 2 clues at a time.
Crying men at the encounter. Why? Becos bro andrew was telling of Jesus's walk to the cross. That passage to death. Man, gives me goosebumps.
That measure of love. Nothing would stop Him from dying. Even if it was that scary. Bet you His fingers were numb and cold. Bet you he was trembling. Bet you He never once stopped praying and talking to God. Bet you He felt lonely and cold, yet His face was burning from all the stares and the laughter and the mocking.
Why did He do it then? For the lost? The dying?
For you.
Even if its was only you whom He could save, He would have continued on. No. I'm not speaking to some unsaved person here. Sure He died for them. But I'm speaking to the saved, the ones called Children of the Almighty. The ones who constantly forget His great love becos we are so accustomed to it.
No more game. I'll give you the song.
We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my Dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes
So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
You said He was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"
Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow He knew things would get stormy
Boy was He right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something He had to hide
So after He left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross
And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"
"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"
-Why?
Nichole Nordeman.
Hah, cried again. I keep forgetting that great Love. I keep looking towards myself and see the failures and the nonsense and unworthiness in me. Do we forget that great Love has conquered all? Why then are we living in our own worlds as if the whole world owes us? That God owes us? Don't you think it hurts Him? I'm guilty of all that. We owe Him. Not the other way around.
Nice song.. very weepy.. =)
Thursday, 4 March 2004
The new-template entry
Hmmm.. Got a new template. Hahaha.. i did like major changes to it loh. Hah.. i'm mean. Just can't get rid of the silly {fellowship} stuff. It doesn't flow with my blog. AT ALL. Hahah.. arh.. leave it first. Hahah. Man.. really tough looking at the html codes and stuff. Had to employ my specs lor, to save me from the blurness. Hahaha.. everything is about me. Hahah.. well... read on if you want. If not.. just read on. hahah
Today i watched this korean drama. Now now, I am not a big fan of such stuff, especially soapy cry-yee korean dramas, but this part totally tickled me. Heh, the elder brother was talking to his younger brother [ da zhong] about how he wanted to keep his illness a secret from the rest of the family. So the older brother is saying, " I don't want to tell them becos i dun want a whole family crying. I can't do anything with a family that's crying ridiculously. So you mustn't tell them, you get me?" And the camera zooms back to Da zhong.. who is crying uncontrollably by that time. So much for, don't tell them becos i fear they would cry.
Why was I tickled you ask? Of cos its not only becos of that. I was laughing my head off becos it just reminded me of me. Hah.. its like elvin's talking to me and before he can finish his sentence, I'm crying buckets and swimming pools of water.. WITH extra chemicals.. known in lay-man terms as mucus. I tell you, i was like," Yea Da Zhong.. cry it all out. Hahah.. i know how it feels to keep sniffing though the mucus jsut rebelliously comes down in the end.". Then i turn to the elder brother and say, " Do da ges' fear crying siao dis'?"
Anyways, that was pretty much the funny part of my life today. Hahha.. nah lah.. just that when i saw this scene, i just knew within the depths of my soul and spirit that i need to blog it down. Hahhaha.. yup, nothing spiritual about it. But once again.. tho its utterly cliche in my blog, THANK GOD for da ges who can stand weepy sobby cry-yee siao dis... hahah.. like yours truly.
God stinking rules. The way He meets you in your most desperate moments just blows my mind. How? I don't know. He rules. He does. Man.. He's totally in love with you. NUTS about you. ARGH! hahaha.. so wonderful... yep.. He's there when you cry, when you laugh, when you fall, when you rise, when you push Him away, when you call out to Him... He's always there. Don't ask me how.. I never know. But I'm always awed. My God is an awesome God..
Hmmm.. Got a new template. Hahaha.. i did like major changes to it loh. Hah.. i'm mean. Just can't get rid of the silly {fellowship} stuff. It doesn't flow with my blog. AT ALL. Hahah.. arh.. leave it first. Hahah. Man.. really tough looking at the html codes and stuff. Had to employ my specs lor, to save me from the blurness. Hahaha.. everything is about me. Hahah.. well... read on if you want. If not.. just read on. hahah
Today i watched this korean drama. Now now, I am not a big fan of such stuff, especially soapy cry-yee korean dramas, but this part totally tickled me. Heh, the elder brother was talking to his younger brother [ da zhong] about how he wanted to keep his illness a secret from the rest of the family. So the older brother is saying, " I don't want to tell them becos i dun want a whole family crying. I can't do anything with a family that's crying ridiculously. So you mustn't tell them, you get me?" And the camera zooms back to Da zhong.. who is crying uncontrollably by that time. So much for, don't tell them becos i fear they would cry.
Why was I tickled you ask? Of cos its not only becos of that. I was laughing my head off becos it just reminded me of me. Hah.. its like elvin's talking to me and before he can finish his sentence, I'm crying buckets and swimming pools of water.. WITH extra chemicals.. known in lay-man terms as mucus. I tell you, i was like," Yea Da Zhong.. cry it all out. Hahah.. i know how it feels to keep sniffing though the mucus jsut rebelliously comes down in the end.". Then i turn to the elder brother and say, " Do da ges' fear crying siao dis'?"
Anyways, that was pretty much the funny part of my life today. Hahha.. nah lah.. just that when i saw this scene, i just knew within the depths of my soul and spirit that i need to blog it down. Hahhaha.. yup, nothing spiritual about it. But once again.. tho its utterly cliche in my blog, THANK GOD for da ges who can stand weepy sobby cry-yee siao dis... hahah.. like yours truly.
God stinking rules. The way He meets you in your most desperate moments just blows my mind. How? I don't know. He rules. He does. Man.. He's totally in love with you. NUTS about you. ARGH! hahaha.. so wonderful... yep.. He's there when you cry, when you laugh, when you fall, when you rise, when you push Him away, when you call out to Him... He's always there. Don't ask me how.. I never know. But I'm always awed. My God is an awesome God..
Wednesday, 3 March 2004
The nut entry
Lah Lah Lah!!! What's this blogger world without THE blogger?? Hahaha.. going to watch big fish later!! Hope we catch a BIG fish. Was hoping my net members come and the other nets too.. so we can catch the movie together. Get it? NETS? CATCH the movie together? BIG FISH? Haha, man, I'm good.
Okay. if you didn't get it, either I'm too good OR.. I'm too good. If you did, well done!! Give yourself a pat on your back!!
[Haha, been stuck at this line for like so long now.]
Okay, back. Hmm.. mushroom swiss!! Turkey Bacon!!! Awww... man. Can't wait to eat. BK. Love it like anything man. Just give it to me. Give me some BK VIP card. ARGH!!!! BK!!
I was reminded of the past events that happened. God's words, His visions. Have we forgotten?? Were we too consumed in ourselves that we 'conviniently' leave Him out of the picture? I don't know. I was reminded of one thing also. The 10000000000000000 BK meals that some guy owes me. No exclamtion mark. Hahah.. yea right.. !!!!!!!!!!!
Man.. fun looking back sometimes to just see what God has done. Over the months and years. Its so exciting. Whoever said christians are a boring bunch of ppl. Man.. have they no sense of the CRAZY-NESS of our God? Hahaha.. wacko.. crazy.. OUT OF THIS WORLD!! Yet.. terribly sane. Hmmm..
[ARGH!! I can't see properly!! Going to get my geeky nerdy specs]
It's worst!!! Now its too clear.. man.. giving me headache.
Okay. Took it off.. hahaha.. BK BK BK!!!! hahah.. craving's here again!!! Hahahah.. argh argh argh!! Hahah.. when we give stuff up, there's this certain strength that comes. Think about when we give it up.. but to God, what kind of strength comes. His JOY. His strength. HIS. HIS. PPL? HIS!! Get it? HIS? It's the Almighty's. It's the God of all creation's. It's the Lord's strength, joy, peace, love, warmth, fun that we get in exchange for the things that suposedly stain our life.
Like where do you a better extra value meal? MAN!!! Like.. i'm just disgusted by BK now lor. Why don't they give such good deals like the Master Chef ( God.. like duh?) does? takes your nonsense.. and gives you good stuff for it. The Menu (the bible like duh?) even says He gives us free BK's (Beautfiful King's) very own clothes and oil!! Like garments of praise and oil of joy!! MAN!!! where to get lor!! now i tink burger king stinks. [REF: Isaiah 61:3]
Haha.. okay.. going for Burger King now. Hahah. Nah.. i still love burger king.. In fact. I'm going to link it. Hahaha..
Here goes: Burger King .
God rules. He does!! YEAH!!!!!
Lah Lah Lah!!! What's this blogger world without THE blogger?? Hahaha.. going to watch big fish later!! Hope we catch a BIG fish. Was hoping my net members come and the other nets too.. so we can catch the movie together. Get it? NETS? CATCH the movie together? BIG FISH? Haha, man, I'm good.
Okay. if you didn't get it, either I'm too good OR.. I'm too good. If you did, well done!! Give yourself a pat on your back!!
[Haha, been stuck at this line for like so long now.]
Okay, back. Hmm.. mushroom swiss!! Turkey Bacon!!! Awww... man. Can't wait to eat. BK. Love it like anything man. Just give it to me. Give me some BK VIP card. ARGH!!!! BK!!
I was reminded of the past events that happened. God's words, His visions. Have we forgotten?? Were we too consumed in ourselves that we 'conviniently' leave Him out of the picture? I don't know. I was reminded of one thing also. The 10000000000000000 BK meals that some guy owes me. No exclamtion mark. Hahah.. yea right.. !!!!!!!!!!!
Man.. fun looking back sometimes to just see what God has done. Over the months and years. Its so exciting. Whoever said christians are a boring bunch of ppl. Man.. have they no sense of the CRAZY-NESS of our God? Hahaha.. wacko.. crazy.. OUT OF THIS WORLD!! Yet.. terribly sane. Hmmm..
[ARGH!! I can't see properly!! Going to get my geeky nerdy specs]
It's worst!!! Now its too clear.. man.. giving me headache.
Okay. Took it off.. hahaha.. BK BK BK!!!! hahah.. craving's here again!!! Hahahah.. argh argh argh!! Hahah.. when we give stuff up, there's this certain strength that comes. Think about when we give it up.. but to God, what kind of strength comes. His JOY. His strength. HIS. HIS. PPL? HIS!! Get it? HIS? It's the Almighty's. It's the God of all creation's. It's the Lord's strength, joy, peace, love, warmth, fun that we get in exchange for the things that suposedly stain our life.
Like where do you a better extra value meal? MAN!!! Like.. i'm just disgusted by BK now lor. Why don't they give such good deals like the Master Chef ( God.. like duh?) does? takes your nonsense.. and gives you good stuff for it. The Menu (the bible like duh?) even says He gives us free BK's (Beautfiful King's) very own clothes and oil!! Like garments of praise and oil of joy!! MAN!!! where to get lor!! now i tink burger king stinks. [REF: Isaiah 61:3]
Haha.. okay.. going for Burger King now. Hahah. Nah.. i still love burger king.. In fact. I'm going to link it. Hahaha..
Here goes: Burger King .
God rules. He does!! YEAH!!!!!
Monday, 1 March 2004
The I'm back entry.
I'm back. As in real entries after 2 weeks. That's short. Missed blogging? Abit, why else am i here? How can one ever shut his mouth and deny it from speaking the greatness of that One without feeling bad? That beautiful, majestic, personal One. I don't know how.
Ever felt as though you've failed God? Failed ppl? Failed everyone and yourself? Ever felt like a big fat failure? Ever felt so insignificant? Ever felt so forgotten? Ever felt like there's so many ppl there but still no one's there?
Ever felt like you have so much to say but can never say it? Ever felt if God forgot you? Ever felt if you disappointed person after person whom you love so much? Ever felt as though you let God down?
Ever felt so lost and frustrated with why things happen and why they don't? Ever felt like you want to draw close but ppl pull away? Ever felt so rejected that you give up? Ever felt like you stink? Ever felt so fake; as though you're not who you seem? Ever felt like you've lost the battle--defeated?
Ever felt so shameful that you screwed up? Ever felt as though you want to just let the tears come freely down without holding it back... if only you weren't so tired or had to be 'strong'?
Ever felt that you stumbled and fell?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling...
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
I hear you whispering my name you say
My love for you will never change never change..
-DC talk
What if I stumbled
That's it. He never said you couldn't cry. He said "Come to Me." The Love still continues. The grace still continues. the walk still continues.
Amen.
I'm back. As in real entries after 2 weeks. That's short. Missed blogging? Abit, why else am i here? How can one ever shut his mouth and deny it from speaking the greatness of that One without feeling bad? That beautiful, majestic, personal One. I don't know how.
Ever felt as though you've failed God? Failed ppl? Failed everyone and yourself? Ever felt like a big fat failure? Ever felt so insignificant? Ever felt so forgotten? Ever felt like there's so many ppl there but still no one's there?
Ever felt like you have so much to say but can never say it? Ever felt if God forgot you? Ever felt if you disappointed person after person whom you love so much? Ever felt as though you let God down?
Ever felt so lost and frustrated with why things happen and why they don't? Ever felt like you want to draw close but ppl pull away? Ever felt so rejected that you give up? Ever felt like you stink? Ever felt so fake; as though you're not who you seem? Ever felt like you've lost the battle--defeated?
Ever felt so shameful that you screwed up? Ever felt as though you want to just let the tears come freely down without holding it back... if only you weren't so tired or had to be 'strong'?
Ever felt that you stumbled and fell?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling...
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
I hear you whispering my name you say
My love for you will never change never change..
-DC talk
What if I stumbled
That's it. He never said you couldn't cry. He said "Come to Me." The Love still continues. The grace still continues. the walk still continues.
Amen.
Saturday, 28 February 2004
Monday, 16 February 2004
The 'hot tears' entry
The Israel team came back today. Heh, the whole thing was elaborate, with banners (which fabian and i held) and flowers. And Joy has long hair now!!
Anyways, I'm glad they're all back, especially uncle david. I still rmb the day he left, i cried, at the expense of my image ( image? haha.. i guess not at the expense, considering my image is that of crying anyways). But at that point i was so sad that someone who played a vital role in my growing up in the cw was going.
Yah, and today when he came back, He was like the first person i wanted to hug. Okay, i know im not close to him, and he's not close to me. But i really just wanted to hug him when he came back. And i was thinking to myself, " Man, if i hold the banner how to hug him?!" So when he came over to me, i reached out my hand to shake his. And he hugged me.. and i was like," Woah.. look at the tears in his eyes man.." The words 'Hot tears' just popped in my head. I was like so happy loh, felt so proud of him.
And after tt, as we were going home, i was thinking about the whole thing again. And i was so challenged by him. The joy on his face.. its like the joy of missions. (not the Joy of the chengs.. haha) And i told myself, i was determined to have these hot tears on my cheeks. To have that gratitude to God, that joy that comes from serving Him, that joy that comes when you've tasted of God's protection, mercy, grace, and faithfulness. So much so that it will just flow out of your life, and that you will not be able to contain that gratitude, and that it will come out as tears, and laughter, and worship and love for Him.
I want to be a person that will always be more grateful for God's mercy and love each day. The friends He gives, the time He gives, the support He gives (realised this list is in-exhaustable?).
AMEN!!
I need You more, More than yesterday
I need You more, More than words can say
I need You more, Than ever before
I need You more, I need You Lord.
More than the air I breathe More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat More than anything
And Lord as time goes by I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back To my old life......
The Israel team came back today. Heh, the whole thing was elaborate, with banners (which fabian and i held) and flowers. And Joy has long hair now!!
Anyways, I'm glad they're all back, especially uncle david. I still rmb the day he left, i cried, at the expense of my image ( image? haha.. i guess not at the expense, considering my image is that of crying anyways). But at that point i was so sad that someone who played a vital role in my growing up in the cw was going.
Yah, and today when he came back, He was like the first person i wanted to hug. Okay, i know im not close to him, and he's not close to me. But i really just wanted to hug him when he came back. And i was thinking to myself, " Man, if i hold the banner how to hug him?!" So when he came over to me, i reached out my hand to shake his. And he hugged me.. and i was like," Woah.. look at the tears in his eyes man.." The words 'Hot tears' just popped in my head. I was like so happy loh, felt so proud of him.
And after tt, as we were going home, i was thinking about the whole thing again. And i was so challenged by him. The joy on his face.. its like the joy of missions. (not the Joy of the chengs.. haha) And i told myself, i was determined to have these hot tears on my cheeks. To have that gratitude to God, that joy that comes from serving Him, that joy that comes when you've tasted of God's protection, mercy, grace, and faithfulness. So much so that it will just flow out of your life, and that you will not be able to contain that gratitude, and that it will come out as tears, and laughter, and worship and love for Him.
I want to be a person that will always be more grateful for God's mercy and love each day. The friends He gives, the time He gives, the support He gives (realised this list is in-exhaustable?).
AMEN!!
I need You more, More than yesterday
I need You more, More than words can say
I need You more, Than ever before
I need You more, I need You Lord.
More than the air I breathe More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat More than anything
And Lord as time goes by I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back To my old life......
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