Desmond and That Amazing Love.

My hope (must) always stand...
For You hold me in Your hands.

(:

It's desperation that brings me to my knees.
For the Only One that leaves me heart longing and satisfied at the same time.

Master, Be my Savior, be my Shelter, be my God.

You deliver me from my darkest chains, and the things that hold me back in fear.

He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me.

And so I'll wait in brokeness, and in my weakness, for Your strength. Your joy, and Your freedom.

I couldn't love You more than You could ever love me.

Unending, Unfailing, Enduring, Faithful, Fierce and Unwavering...

I cannot think of any more words. But I don't need to.

Your Love Speaks For Itself.

Love that's stronger, Love that covers sin, and takes the weight of the world.

Take my life, for Your glory Lord. Cos I can't do anything more with it. Take over Lord, I've reached the point where my own strength couldn't take me any further.

Jesus, I surrender.

(:

Desmond and the Could Do Better-s.

-photo from esther's blog

"God... gave me... second life..."

I think I could do better, personally. Cos, "God... gave me(desmond)... second life..." too.
And the very least, I could be thankful in all things.

I could do better. I really could.

(: Help me God? Thank You.

Desmond and the Ulcer Hole Puncher Concept.

What a struggle.

I often bite myself when I eat. And thanks to my canine-vampire-honey-starred teeth, I keep giving myself ulcers. Yes. That is 'Ulcer', with the 'S'.

You see, when you bite yourself, your um... 'flesh' inside your mouth is pinched together, so it's kinda like one lump of flesh. One honey-starred teeth will pierce (ARGH!) the top of the lump, and the other honey-starred teeth will pierce the lower part of the lump.

Think folding a piece of paper into two, and then putting it through a hole-puncher. (ARGH!!!!!)When you do unfold the piece of paper, you get 2 holes, from one 'punch'.

Same concept ah, my friend, same concept.

What a struggle.

It's being placed through a hole puncher, and sometimes you're the one doing the punching and sometimes you're not. And there's just so many holes and ulcers and you're starting to think, "could your mouth ever be whole again?" Cos it does seem abit impossible. Afterall, it's yet another ulcer, yet another 2 holes in the wall of your mouth.

For that matter, is it even worth to be made whole again? Cos it seems that the same 2 holes could appear. The same cycle, the same fear of eating, chewing, and enjoying the splendid foods... the same food you've been desiring for days, suddenly turn into things you rather stay away from. Because a wrong bite could lead you to another ulcer. The Fear of the Repeated Ulcer.

What a struggle.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." - 1 John 4:18

I believe You're my healer.

What a struggle. Yes. But there's a good end, I know. What the enemy intended for evil, You'd turn it around for good. What my own heart lacks the strength to do, there is Your Spirit's help for me. What I struggle with, there is a Perfect Love for which my fears of failures must flee when faced with It.

There is the King of Love, Prince of Peace, Father, Brother, Friend for me.

I believe You're my healer.

Desmond and the Way to a Man's Heart.

People say,"the way to a man's heart, is through his stomach." If that be so, then I've gotta say this -- My heart has had alot of visitors recently.

Too much food recently. But you get the feeling don't you? When you're just in that mood where you wanna try everything. From the Takoyaki Balls that were marinated in water from the dead sea, (salty, lah), to the ramly that seemed rather impressively-made but was actually impressively-lousy after you ate it.

Though I ate none of those. I did eat a zin.ger meal, just cos i wanted cheese-fries.. As I always say, Oh Well.

But no matter... amidst the heart visitations, I've got One Person permanently there.

Even when salty takoyakis, and lousy ramlys come and go. Even when the 'extra' burger crowds out my fries. Even when my heart seems alittle bloated from the crazy non-food visitors. Even when it seems like it could hold no more, and it collapses under it's own weight. When the heart doubts it's own self, and the world...

He's still there. The Permanent, Unchanging One.

And You're all I need. And I can trust in You.
Keeper of my heart. Lover of my soul.
I can trust in You.

Desmond and Worship Camp 07'.

WOW.

And I'll say that backwards.

WOW.

It was so much fun. Staying overnight in church with people from region F. (Region F rocks.) Playing the Bom bom Chi chi Bom Bom Murderer Game, food, jamming with our super basic keyboard skills (Dot and Es!!) Learning our parts... and just like a big sleepover. Late night food, videos, and jamming.

And being challenged in the way I approach God in worship.

WOW.

I realised I am nothing. Not in my singing. Not in my half-past-6 keyboard. Not in my loving, or rather, lame attempts of trying to love people around me. I am so... nothing. I am self-righteouness. I am judgemental even tho I think I'm not. I'm so prideful. And in contrast with that, God is everything. Everything.

It was an awesome worship time, during morning service. Nothing to do with how well I sang, or the worship leader... or the band. But God just... showed up. And that makes all the difference.

More love More power
More of You in my life

I (wanna) worship You
With all of my heart
... my might... my strength!

I can't get enough
I can't get enough
I can't get enough!!

I can't get enough of You. I dun want to be satisfied and complacent.

God, Oh God. Come and shake us to our cores. Move us Lord. Help us to love You more. Help us to be real.

Thank You God. For loving us.
Thank You.

Desmond and the Atmosphere.

I realised getting on the blogging bandwagon ain't all that difficult. It's merely starting with one entry, and if the mood and atmosphere are all right, the next one follows almost as quickly. Like how it's really the atmosphere of the sushi place that ushers the gyoza again and again into your mouth.

Nothing at all to do with how much you like it, or that you're actually just greedy.

Blame it on the Atmosphere, Man.

Still, I know bout the whole Live Earth yada, and yada... So here's something that I saw on my teacher's blog; something found behind the church door.

The atmosphere would give you a whole brownie point toward the LiveEarth cause. But no brownie point from God, that's for sure. (haha, k. kidding. God is so nice! Still... coming from a CHURCH. What an oversight! Sigh.)

But you should lock the door, and switch off the AC, the lights and fans and whatever else after use. Cos, the Atmosphere is really not in good shape. The weather patterns are really changing. What with the crazy weather changes in mere minutes from scorching to rainy. And global warming and blah.

You know what...

Blame it on the Man, Atmosphere.

Desmond and the Attempt at Randomness

I really can't wait for worship camp. Seriously. Haha, just so excited.

AHHHhhhhh...

Anyways, I've been struggling to blog recently. It's a case of Bloggers' Block. Something that has affected me countless times over the course of my entire blogging life. And it's kinda hard to be random, cos, while I admit I am random at times... I think real writing often has a motive to it.

Writing to build up, to tear down, as a release. Maybe I have yet to learn to write to be specifically random (which is most likely an art!)

I wanted to share a poem which we read in lit class once, Why I Write, but. haha I dun want to go down the EMO path. haha... so well. We'll leave it at the "..yet to learn to write to be specifically random (which is most likely an art!)" part! -RHYMES!

Ahhh. God is so good huh? (:

I know the week just started, but I can't wait for the weekends already. haha..

Have a blessed week, reader!

God is good All the time
He put a song of praise
In this heart of mine

God is good All the time
In the darkest night
His light will shine

God is good
He's so good
All the time

Yea You are. All the time. (:

Desmond and the Great Way to End A Work Week,

What a great way to end the work week. I had one of the most satisfying nets tonight...

We had a good worship session, and an honest time of fellowship over the testimonies and the lesson. And I felt really encouraged and edified, spurred on to really make a change.

What a great, great way to end the work week.

I really believe a new day is coming. And I'm so excited. :)

:)))))

Desmond and the Camp-like Week.

It's been an awesome, awesome week. Starting with my sister's wedding, and the fun of being in a suit, and all the wedding stuff...

Then john coming back, and spending time together on Sunday, at borders, where I realised me taking Lit, might be... a challenge. haha. The great mudpie, Ooo. YUM. and then going out with the youths..

Then the week of prayer and fasting came, and every single night was so fun. The sessions, and then the fellowship after that. I's been the closest thing to a church camp I've experienced in a long, long time.

And it was good.

I still rmb when I didn't go for camp one year... think it was my A level year. 05'. Someone actually said something along the lines of, "this would be the last time for the next 2 years that you can go. and I didn't want you to miss it." (YOU WERE RIGHT!)

At that time... I really thot I wouldn't be missing much. Now, I really long for camp. I still don't like camp games (cue readers' GASP!)... but there's just something about really soaking in God's presence the entire day and week that's just so satisfying.

With all the fellowship and fun you have just talking late into the night. Or sneaking into your fren's room and scaring the sleep out of him. (Er hem!)

What a great week! Thanks God. :))) and thank all of you who were a part of it... at the wedding, at service, and prayers every night, at dinners, and suppers.

How awesome was this week man?! (:

You and It.

I think I get the irony. The joke played on us.

The Sniggers of It. It's Sneer, and Sly Smile.
The Sound of It's Snorting as it laughs.
The Sudden turning and it's Secret Seductions.

If anything else, I know, I know.
I know.

That we need You.
I need You.

Come, come, and smite it.
Come, and shatter It's hold.

Son of God, Saviour, Strength to my soul, Sweet Jesus.
Come and Save us.

Save me.

Desmond and the Procrastination.

Procrastination.

Although I would hardly attribute my lack of blogging to procrastination, I've gotta say I've been procrastinating a whole lot recently.

What with wanting to watch HPOOTP, to wanting to start on 24 (Which I've started like 24mins of, and stopped,) to wanting to train for my physical tests, to jumping on the band-wagon of being afraid of the many china-made products... (OOooo. The horror of the chop-sticks. Ewwww.)

Still, while I've been successfully disturbed by disposable chop-sticks now, I still have not watched a minute more of 24; I failed my last physical test; and the closest I've gotten to watching HPOOTP is reading the book.

One may ask why I have time to read the book which takes like a few hours, (Alright, I lie. A few days.) When I can just get to W.Mall and watch the movie in like 3 hours.

That, my friends, is the beauty of procrastination, coupled with the fear of loneliness. You have no idea how many ppl would rather eat with disposable chop-sticks, then take action or be alone.

Still, the alternative to disposable chop-sticks are, well, regular plastic ones, so Some Ppl get the best of both worlds -- Procrastinate, and eat with plastic cutlery, in the presence of their closest friends.

I've got to say, I'm Some Ppl. I've got to put off deciding what to wear for Banquet 07', (going back to my roots...) I ate with metal cutlery, and with the Dear Region F. The F(atal Attract-ors), the crazy bidders...

I didn't bring my camera... It's spoilt. So I'll link you to Esther and Jon's blog... haha

Some of my fav pictures! From both their blogs. haha

(future) Chef, (ex-)Clubber, and (presently) Charcoal.
"We'll meet at the warehouse at 1030 tonight...." Everyone's smiling. :)

I really had fun. :)

Desmond and the New Day.

There's so much I could blog about. Just forming sentences after sentences in my head these past few days, thinking bout stuff... Sad things, real things, happy things, and the like.

Then comes one shower, and it's like I was taken and shook by the Holy Spirit. And you know what, "It's a New Day."

It doesn't matter my failures. It's a New Day.
It doesn't my problems. It's a New Day.
It doesn't matter my shame, and inadequecies. It's a New Day.

It's a Brand New Day, in Jesus. (:
And His mercies are new every morning.

--
It's a new day
Oh, it's a new time
And there's a new way
I'm gonna live my life

All the old has, passed away
And the new has come
Thank God, It's a brand new day

Lookin' back on yesterday
There are things that I regret
But I put the past behind me

And I never will forget
You have covered my mistakes
And my broken dreams

-New Day, Avalon.

Desmond and What God Sees.

I asked God to show me what exactly He saw, when He allowed for me to be put through a trial. When He said, "Ok, I give permission to let Desmond be put through that trial; that situation," what did He see me doing way into the future?

I mean the Bible says that God will not put you through something that is beyond you; His grace is sufficient for you.

In other words, what God saw was probably me coming out victorious, praising Him and His sovereignty in the midst of the trial. And He had that faith in me, to rely on Him and not give in or up. And so He said, "Let it be done." And in His head He thinks at the same time, "Cos My kid will come through victorious. heh heh..."

Doesn't mean that what He saw will come to past. It can. And it would, if we don't give up and keep trusting Him to bring to past what He saw.

But trust me on this, sometimes it's so long and daunting, and we start to give up. I've got situations I'm seemingly stuck in, and it doesn't seem to get better. For one, my right hand is like... has some skin defect or something haha. it's cracking and it's spreading. It's so easy for me to ask, "Why God, why like that," and trust me, I have.

And these situations sometimes are so overwhelming and you're just at the end of your road. You fail and fail and fail a gazillion million times and you think this isn't a way a child of God is supposed to be.

At times like these, ask God what He saw. And perhaps you'd see Him say, "ok, put him/her through that period of trial. Let him have a slip in his health; let her lose her job; let his friends turn against him.

Because I see way ahead, and I see him coming out victorious. I see her praising My name. I see a promotion in the spiritual realm for them. Cause I see him failing, but I see him pressing on and keeping his trust in Me."

So this entry is for those out there who feel they have been abandoned; those who feel so guilty that they have abandoned God; those who have no strength to go on making the same mistakes over and over again...

God saw many possibilities that could arise out of your situation. But He chose to focus on the one where you came through victorious and overcoming, and because of that, He allowed you to be put through it. Choose to see that same one, and press on. As for myself, I'm gonna press on.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9
"We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Rom 8:37

God, glorify Yourself in our lives. Every part of it. Amen.

Desmond and the Waiting Room.

There's just something about sitting at the doctor's waiting for your name/number to be called/beeped, that's just very unnerving.

I think it's the vulnerability one feels cause...

1. he's not sure when his name or number will be called. (The I-Can't-Be-Certain-What's-Next.)
2. he's not sure if he'll hear his name called, especially in that funny accent the nurse has. (The Will-I-Notice-If-It-Does-Come.)
3. he's not really keen on the entire waiting room of 40 patients knowing his name. (The I'm-Kinda-Afraid-What-People-Will-Think.)

Haha, I have so much I wanna say about these 'The-s', but I'm kinda lazy. And yes, I'm Kinda Afraid What People Will Think about my crazy thoughts. Haha...

"Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
:)

Desmond and the Abcess.

This is a jelly bean.
This is a top-banana-flavoured jelly bean.

Anyways, reduce it by half, and stuff it into the tip of my thumb... and voila. That's how my thumb looks like now.

HAHA... yes. I'm gross. Oh well. I've got quite a graphic imagination. so yea. haha...

Anyways hopefully I get more MC. HAHHA.. like Joash Onyx, The Stone Pokemon.

Give me the desires of my heart, Lord. hahah.

No seriously. :)

In everything God, You remain sovereign. Hallelujah!

Desmond and the People Watching.

I don't know bout you, but I used to people-watch. Still do now sometimes.

The thing about people-watching is that, you see people in their real moments... the moments when they think no one is watching, or they are simply too caught up in their thoughts to care.

You see the screaming kid, and their moms who couldn't care less. You see people who fall asleep suddenly, when the pregnant woman boards the bus/train.

And you also see the people who give up their seats for others.

The people I find myself sneaking glances at are the ones who have a certain, sad smile. Like that song, "the (person) with the broken smile." I'm so intruiged by what's on their minds, as they smile, sadly, at a baby, or out the window.

Are they usually smiley, but are sad that day?
Or are they simply "smiling through the storm?"

I wonder if God people-watches. Actually, He does. He sees all, and knows all. But I wonder what kinda people attracts His attention. I was thinking about this just bout 2 days back.

How timely that the message today hit on one point; us needing to be mindful that God is always watching us.

And I think that's the answer. The people who attract God's attention, are the ones who Fear the LORD. The ones who love Him and respect Him enough, to want to live unto Him and Him alone. The ones who seek to acknowledge Him in every corner and turn of their life.

Father, help me do the same.
To play only to an Audience of One.
Amen. :)

Desmond and the Awesome School Holiday Week.

Like I told my net... This has been an awesome week! EVEN THOUGH my parents were gone... this week felt like a sch holiday week for me. haha..

Recap!
Monday.
Work, then dinner at Elvin's place. Thanks to Esvin. That's Esther tan and Elvin. Nice and warm meal. Then some of them went for kbox. Home for me. haha

Tues.
I took off to work at home. Awesome I tell you. Then a very awesome prayer meeting. (argh vintage red!) Then back to work till bout 4am. It's been so long since I've stayed up... last time in college was cos of Lit Essays. Didn't think I would stay up this late again.

Wed
Boss called me to tell me to work from home on on thurs. HALLELUJAH! Then dinner at elvin's house. Stayed till pretty late, just talking. Then we called johnathan at 12 to sing him a solemn lullaby birthday song. haha.. happy birthday!

Thur
supper with joel, and an awesome day at home, doing work. HAHA.

Fri
Net and my family came back finally!!! I met onyx at net. the stone pokemon. (I choose you!)

God has been so good. To think I'd actually have home-cooked food even tho my mom wasn't around. and to think i'd have so many offs this week. haha, working from home. haha, I dun work the entire day. haha..

A big thanks to all that God sent along my way this week. To bless me in big or small ways. I appreciate the generousity, the company, and you guys. haha. Thanks for being part of an awesome week for me. best in a long time. haha.

i wanna go for camppppp. but still. thanks God! You're awesome!

Desmond and the Sure-fire Ways to Feel Good.

Uncle desmond's here once again, this time to share with you some sure-fire ways to feel good.

#1. Have a good, long bath/shower.

#2. Have a tub ( or more if you must) of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer, just in case.

#3a. Don't compare yourself with others.
b. Or if you really must compare, compare with an elephant. especially with regards to weight issues. you're bound to feel good bout yourself. (:

#4. Get non-see-through cups. If you can't see the water level, you'll never have to bother if the cup is half-full or half-empty.

#5. Watch a Korean Soap. Your life can't be as bad as the protagonist. If your life IS worse, the bright side is, after watching, you'll probably be too mentally exhausted to think bout your problems.

#6. Write a story. After working on it for 1 hour or so, you're kinda all floaty and ya-ya papaya, cos you think you're a novelist.

#7. Sleep. I love this method loads. Can't use it much tho.

#8. Play some praise/worship music.

#9. Hang out in church. And just. enjoy the fellowship of the saints. (:

#10. Know, and Understand, and finally Accept that you're a Son of God. Or Daughter. (Loosely quoted from Bro W during worship meet.)

I'mason I'mason. I'mason. (:
Haha. Ahhh. I rest in the shelter of Your Love.

Desmond and the Rejection Revelation.

I received 2 letters on Sat. One was from N.YOU.ES. and the other, N.TEE.YOU. I got rejected from the first, and an offer from the latter.

There's just something about a rejection letter, and so, here's how to differentiate.

1. An Acceptence Letter is often colourful; littered with reds and yellows and blues and greens and whatever other colour the mind can conceive.
The Rejection Letter has only black ink. Becos only Black can handle defeating the dreams of one hopeful applicant after another. Plus, black ink catridges are way cheaper than coloured ones.

2. An Acceptence Letter is heavy, cos there are brochures inside, telling you what you can with your new life.
A Rejection Letter is light -- just one piece of paper. No brochures to tell you what you can do, cos apparently, your life is gone. No need for brochures. (Altho I know that's hardly true. HAHA.)

3. An Acceptence Letter is long. It tells you things that you dun wanna know.
A Rejection Letter is short. It tells you just that one thing you didn't want to hear.

Haha, sounds cynical, haha, but I'm not oh kay. haha...

In all of it, God has been good to me. So very good. I mean,'bde' is hardly a good grade,but to actually get an offer?? It's testament that He is good. Plus, just cos I may not see the goodness, doesn't downplay the fact that He IS good.

And He has good plans for me... :)

Desmond and the Inter(esting)views.

That's it. 2 interviews down in a span of 4 days. N.TEE.YOU lit, and N.AI.YEE.

Honestly, I think the interviews could have gone better. Haha, I dun really speak well. And I'm reminded once again of a certain day in college where I made that point clear to many ppl. :(

That said, who I am doesn't define who God is. :)

He's bigger than I'll ever know, smarter than I'll ever know, and sees further into the future than I could ever see. He'll know what to do with my life, even though I dun at this point.

Haha, NEEways, still waiting on the replies and all. (oh God, please. haha.)

(please give me a car, and a license, and maybe a van cos i only just realised yesterday just how much cheaper diesel is compared to petrol. i mean i knew it was cheaper, but that much?!

and maybe while you'll at it, maybe i could have a 9 mth leave from the ES.EH.EPH. and not need to go back for rhee-sur-veest..)

thanks God, You're the best!

Desmond and The Un-stumble.

Father, please forgive me
for I cannot compose
the fear that lives within me
or the rate at which it grows.

Struggle has a purpose
on the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses
will leave a deadly scar?

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
all the doubt I'm feeling.

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble and what if I fall?

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all.
What if I stumble? What if I fall?

I hear you whispering my name, You say
"My love for you will never change"

- DC Talk, What If I Stumble.

Ah. You turn up and blow me away... Even in the times I don't expect it, the times I dun see it coming.

I'll trust You.

What could I do,
What could I say?
But offer this heart Oh Lord
Completely to You.

- Hillsongs United, The Stand

Cos I have nothing else to offer to You.

And the surprising thing is, God, You'll actually take it. As messed up as it is. You'll actually take it. And You make it Yours, and You'll craft something worthy out of it. You say, "I'll take it," and "It's paid for." Then You'll work hard on it. Day and night.

Oh the love you have for such as us.

Thank You. I love You. I love You Dad.

Desmond and the Heavy Breakfast Theory.

Amy Green (to Joey who's finishing a pizza) : "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!"
...
Joey : "I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!"

-Friends, The One where Rachel's Sister Babysits.

Ever since I got back from TW, I keep having these crazy moments where I start raiding the fridge and the kitchen, and I'll keep eating and eating. Then at other times, I wouldn't even eat at all. Needless to say, I think I've gained weight since I came back.

I think the deal is, I know I lost weight in TW, so at the back of my mind, I keep telling myself it's ok to eat abit more. And over time, the over-compensated eating leaves you with more weight. That's why its not good to skip meals. You skip breakfast and lunch, and at the end of the day you say to yourself, "Ok, I didn't eat at all today. So to reward myself at dinner.........................."

I can't rmb who it was I had the theory with, in JC, that eating a good breakfast helps cuts down the need to have snacks and a heavy lunch throughout the rest of the day. I think that theory really works.

Ah.. food. Singaporean's Struggle man. The love-hate relationship.

Still, to quote Joey, "I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!" Although it's more like flabby. haha..

Desmond and the Visitor at Work.

I met Fabian at work today! Met him for lunch... haha, you can't imagine what a breath of fresh air that is like. To have a friend from church be at your workplace.

In Sec sch, I had Joel with me in school, and sometimes we'd walk home together, and it was a really nice feeling.

In JC, Joel was there with me for first 3 mths. We saw each other every day, cos sat and sun we would have services also. Then after first 3 mths, i had the luxury of having Col and John be with me. John left after J1... (which was a big bummer)... but thank God Col was around!

Haha, it was awesome to have Col with me in Lit tutorials, cos it's just nice to know that when you're being grilled with un-answerable questions, you can count on your friend not to be laughing at you, but rooting for you. And though my other friends were probably rooting for me too, it's just different you know? haha...

In fact..... Col, the first person in this list actually refers to you!! haha.. I was in such a terrible state that period . But just knowing that one of my closest friends was really literally pretty (ok, this is very bad english haha) close to me in location really helped me along. Rmbring that I'm accountable to God for the way I dealt with things. That I'm a christian.. You made JC feel like a church activity. HAHA, at times la. I really thank God for you, sis! :) (haha. awwWW. haha.)

Then, since I've been posted to my workplace, I've had Elvin to talk to online. Seriously, that's been a crazily superb relief. To be able to reach him in the midst of my busy busy, dog-eat-dog, work... is like being handed a firm stick when you're in quick sand. It's such a nice feeling to have someone who isn't out to dunk your head in the mud, to get to the top. It's like, even tho I can be abit insane when talking to him, really our conversations keep me otherwise. Elvin keeps my sanity in check. haha, thanks man. I also thank God for you... you're like hot cocoa on a cold night. haha.. :) ( AwwwWWw. haha..)

Of cos in JC, 'cousin' amanda, and 'bus-buddy' hannah were also God-sents. haha.. how could i leave you guys out. hannah you gave a feel of the family of God too. and manda, haha, you gave me a feel of 'cousin', haha, plus cos you knew joel too, and the fact we were like peas in a pod. haha..

I know this entry has become like a shout-out... haha, but its strange that I only realise today, how good God has been to me in this area. It takes a visit from Fabian to my workplace to make me realise how blessed I am. To have someone from the family of God with me every step of the way. Haha..

I dunno how to say this, but I love that we're a family of God. It really means alot to me. Especially when I see you guys out of church. Not just the ones I mentioned.. but everyone. I get the feeling of home in church. And that's what it is.

I LOVE THE FAMILY OF GOD. Really I do. I guess this is the Being a Family thing we've been talking about recently... haha.

Well, God's been there with me every single step of the way too. That awesome awesome God. Thanks God. :) I love You. You never left me, never will. Thanks Father. :) haha..

Such a long entry, but whatever. haha, I think I'll look back on this entry one day, and smile.

Ahhh. thank God for church, for the saints, for my brothers and sisters in this great big family of God.

I'm a happy boy. haha

Desmond and the Lapses in Self Control.

That's it. I made the mistake of trying follow NBC's Heroes by reading the episodes online instead of watching them. (cos i didn't think i have the time/energy after work.)

One thing led to another, and I decided, "just one episode on TV will suffice". 3 episodes later and now I'm hooked.

Ah, the stupid stupid things we do, despite telling ourselves we shouldn't.

"ok, no more eating after 7pm."

"ok, desmond this clock says 7:05pm; your watch says 6.57. Since your watch is more personal, we'll go by your watch," and within the next 3 mins you stuff yourself with as much food as possible.

Then you realise you can't stuff that much in 3 mins, so you start resetting your watch 10 mins back.

"okay la, since everytime at 7 you struggle to stop eating, we'll push the cut-off time to 8pm." And it never ends. (Refering to the compromising, not the snacking. Okay, maybe on some level the snacking too. )

I think once we start to compromise, it's like inching our way towards the quick sand. You're putting yourself out there. And yet knowing all that, somehow we'll still so stupid.

At least I'm so stupid.

Thank You Father God, that for all my dumbness, You're so smart.

Desmond and Desmond (The Uncle Version.)

I've resigned to the fact that I'm an Uncle. Yes, yes, Uncle Desmond... who, in the crazy non-reality of the tuition centre, is the coffee/tea/me-maker.

Uncle Desmond, who wears ah pek slippers and carries an umbrella on a really rainy day. (You know that's just good sense?!)

Uncle Desmond, who is so predictable when it comes to clothes that friends who've known him just 3 weeks can go into a shop and pick out the clothes he fancies. And yes, the clothes are 'Uncle' clothes.

Friends politely refer to them as 'Mature'. Still, they're not any more subtle than a gun-shot in the bank.

Bang bang! ("Shh, I'm robbing the bank, but I'm trying to be subtle," says the robber.)
Bang bang! ("Shh, I'm saying you're like an uncle, but i'm trying to be subtle," says the Say-er.)

Nevertheless, its been said that elderly have years of wisdom. So Uncle Desmond will now dish out some words of the wise.

#1.) When you're going overseas, no point bringing your phone unless you
have auto-roam.
#2.) Always bring your shaver. If not the "monkey-face" insults
that the kids at kindergarden used to scream at you might become too
literal.
#3.) If it's rainy, it's good sense to bring an umbrella.

This is Uncle D, Out! :)

Desmond and the Coming Through.

You know how sometimes you feel like you're in such a mess and you're waiting in vain for people to come through for you? And you wait and wait, like waiting for a bus with hopes all high BUT they never come through for you?

And then amidst all the feeling sorry for yourself, you realised that other frens came through for you while you never noticed it.

I dun need to 'realise' i've got a great God, who's given me great friends. I already know that, and can see it. He's been so gracious to me.

My misdeeds, All my greed...
All the things that haunt me now...
They're not a pretty sight to see...
But they're wiped away...
By a Mighty Mighty Wave...

- O.F, AudioA.

Help me to be grateful Father, Jesus... For all You've done for me. For coming through for me every single time, even though i couldn't always see, or understand it. And for the people you've placed in my life. Family, and friends. I love You, Jesus.

Desmond and the Vessel.

With Christ in the vessel
We can smile at the storm

-Christ in the Vessel.

Desmond and the TWEEZ!

TWEEZ!!! *show my 2 fingers on each hand*

Dun tag me, I'm not it. NO! I'm not IT!!! (Read 3 entries ago, Desmond and The It). Haha that aside, thanks Col!! Been a long time since i've done these kinda stuff. Missed them man.

*this is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things about themselves as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.*

(I have many weird things.I'm called the Weird P for good reason. Still, i'm not so sure i wanna lay out all my crazy.)

6 weird things about me:
1 I have a birthmark above my eye, and only yesterday when I was thinking about my weird antics did I finally figure out with eye it is. So all these years, when ppl ask me about it, i've always just lift up any random hand to touch it, not knowing for real which eye it is.

2 I have an OCD... the constant fear that things from different parts will contaminate other parts. Ranges from, not daring to sit anywhere in the house in a pants i wore out to the coffeeshop, to not using my 'office pen' on my 'home stuff'.

3 I tag songs with ppl. Cos they were ard, or heard they same song together with me, when i first heard it. Col is - Glory Come Down by CFNI. EssyF - Everything to Me by Avalon, Joel probly - "darkness and gloom filled the earth." and so on so forth. All got reason one.

4 I dun play soccer/comp games. Nuff' said.

5 I get cranky when I'm tired, and squashed with inconsiderate ppl (just inconsiderate ones) who take public transport. And in my head, I'm scolding pp for pushing and not moving in. But nonthing comes out verbally.

6 I killed a cockroach that day. Baby one la, but still. Weird huh, considering I hate cockroaches. and am totally freaked.

the 6 people areeeeeeeeeeee......
1.) Hannah
2.) John
3.) Gabe
4.) Elizabeth
5.) Rachel
6.) Col. Since you took all the pp who blog. and you think 6 is too easy! haha.. No la, can't think of a 6th.

TAG People, YOU'RE IT!!!

Desmond and the Spilled Water.

A few days back, as I was topping up a container with water, I spilled it, pouring it all over the floor, cabinets, under the table mats, and myself and blah blah...

Even tho it was just water, and I definitely would have known how to deal with it, all I could muster was a, "what just happened?!" in my mind. Then I stared at the mess for awhile, before I calmly walked out of the kitchen and said to my mom, "I spilled the water. How?"

Seriously, I know how to clean up the mess. Yet somehow, I couldn't do anything.

Sometimes, it's just the way it is. All our intellect and wit will fail us, sometimes even with the things we know so well. And it's not wrong to not know how to deal with the simplest things. Cos real people can tire, real people can be helpless, and real people can be overwhelmed.

And that's what God is there for. He's there for us. To make up for our weaknesses. To complete us.

I could have done so many other things, rather than call on my mom. I could have cried. I mean, while they have a saying about spilled milk, the thing I spilled was water. There's no saying about that. (HAHA.)

Anyways, God is good, isn't He. :)

Desmond and the Soccer Route.

Here's a little tidbibt: To reach my house, I have to walk past a basketball court, where kids/students/grown adults play soccer. We don't have no soccer court you see.

Anyways, I hate walking down that path beside the court, cos there's no fencing on that side of the court. And it's sorta a neighbourhood thing, that if a soccer ball flies out of the court, and onto the path, the guy on the path will get the ball for the players.

It's unspoken, and everyone abides by it... mainly becos, the entire court, and their spectator buddies will first look at the ball, then at you. Which is really no pressure at all for you to get the ball.

Here's the thing. If you know me, I have no ball sense whatsoever. There's a reason why people fall off laughing when i say I watched a soccer match, or played soccer.

Hold on to your seats as go on.

Now, the last time i played soccer was last year. (yes, yes, if you haven't fallen off, you may let go of your seats. If you have fallen, well... get up.)

The last time I played, I happened to do what is known as a Slide.

Anyways, a few things were happening in that split second.
a.) me being stunned, knowing that I have done something that was stun-worthy.
b.) my friends being stunned. knowing that I have made a slide, that was stun-worthy .
c.) and that slide being the first by anyone in 3 games.

And amidst all the confusion, I heard my friend say, "I'm sure he didn't mean to do that."

He was right.

I merely tripped over myself, and happened to fall so nicely it looked like i was sliding, and it happened that the ball was where I was sliding towards.

So then, knowing that this kinda things happen rarely, I don't expect to be sliding the next (hundred) soccer balls that come flying out of the court and towards me when I walk home in the near future.

That's why I rush by that route.

Haha, such a long story just to say that.
Haha whatever.

Desmond and The It.

I hate clowns. Seriously, I think clowns are freaky... and I'm sure at least one person out there agrees with me.

Recently I started thinking about this show that my sister thinks, started my fear of clowns. (Btw that's called Coulrophobia.)

I never get why this X-phobia names have nothing to do with X. Like coulrophobia. You would think it means fear of couldrons. WOH KAY. Sidetrack.

Anyways, this show was The It. I thought about my memories of it, and compared it to what I read on wiki. Turns out what they say about, making your memories by adding and removing things each time you replay it in your mind, is true.

Ok here's my version:
The It is a clown that these children fight off in a cave. Somehow, there's a giant spider in it all also.

Real version:
The It is a clown that these adults (who supposedly killed it, when they were children) fight off in the sewers. Somehow, it's true form is a spider.

ANYWAYS, yea. Freaked me out. My sis says I was so afraid (and still am) of them that when she brought me to see a clown when i was a kid, I screamed upon seeing them, and ran off. Needless to say, her phobia is screaming siblings who run away when they're under her care.

Just how much do I hate clowns? Well you know those Ronald McDonald benches? Well, I'll pass. He still freaks me out. I hate Mcdonald birthday parties.

Still, the couldron-phobia thingy aside, I would love to catch the show with my sis again. Haha, yea, i'm kinda psycho like that.

Hmm... Psycho huh. Now isn't that the name of that film................

Desmond and Chinese New Year 07'

Chinese New Year is here again.

Here's what comes along with it:
1. Sickening wang wang advertisements, that repeat themselves like a migraine that refuses to leave. (haha, but i haven't seen much this year at all, maybe cos i'm watching more cable, and less local stations. Smart move desmond. HAHA.)

2. Pineapple tarts. Yay!

3. F&N Orange. The only other time you drink Orange is well, at a chinese wedding dinner, where you raise the glass of orange admist the stout and beer, in toasts of "yam seng".

4. Relatives who say you've grown to be such a BIG boy, becos last year, you were only 7mm tall.

5. Pineapple tarts (The Restock), cos you ate so many your mom had to bake/buy them again.

6. Holiday specials on TV, which you dun watch cos, well... you've got cable now. Haha..

And of cos, red packets. Haha, oh boy. chinesenewyear. chine sen ewy ear. chi nes enew ye ar.

Desmond and the Ambitions.

I was wondering, how do people decide what they want to be in the future?

I was watching the discovery channel, something on archaelogy... (I dun rmb a SINGLE thing about the show)... the only thing i was thinking about was, why in the world would this lady want to work under the hot sun, digging up bones.

So what exactly aids in a person's choice of ambition? Cos they look up to someone, say a fireman, so they wanna be a fireman?

Cos they really like doing something, say eating so they become a chef?

Cos they really like a place, say the sandbox, so they become an archaelogist?

For me... ask me when i started wanting to be what I want to be, and this image pops up in my mind. It's at my front door, but inside the house. It's a feeling.

Maybe that's it then -- the feeling you get when you do something, or are someplace, or with someone, and you like that feeling, and you want to recreate that feeling... is it?

Haha, I dunno.
I know this is a really stupid question, but I wonder if ambitions change, even if its one that last for years.

Oh well... -exhales-.

Hey, God, thanks for today. :)

Desmond and the Night.

Though I walk through valleys low

I'll fear no evil

By the waters still my soul

My heart will trust in You

My heart will trust in You

-hillsongs, my heart will trust.

You are so good Father. :) Thank You.

Desmond and the Blank.

Give me oil in my lamp,
Keep me burning.
Give me oil in my lamp,
I pray.

Give me oil in my lamp,
Keep me burning,
Burning burning.

Keep me burning,
To the end of day.
---
There's so much that's going through my mind these days.

Sometimes, i just don't know what to say, you know?














I've typed and backspaced so many times, I give up.
ECJJJG - I'm sorry.
---
God, You know best don't You? Thank You.
"Even when (I) was faithless You are faithful."

Desmond and the Apprentice.

I hate The Apprentice.

I do. I really do. I don't like the show at all. It's so cut throat.
I just had the channel on my TV, the firing part? My word.

Seriously, being in school is the best. Honest. Homework aside, it really is a good place. Take it from me.

Altho it must be noted that I mean, being in school as a student. Not as staff. Cos that's just work too.

I hate conflict.
I do. I really do.
I run away from it.
Church's a good place.

:) thankyew God.

Desmond and the Good Neighbour.

My sis, bro and me came back home today, after dinner with our parents... And found out that we didn't have any house keys! So my brother has to pee, my sis is gonna go out, and I... well... mainly i'm just so bloated.

And we're thinking oh no.. our parents are not gonna come back that quick, and we can't be sitting outside for the next one and half hour or so. So we decided to check if my neighbour has our keys...

But auntie isn't home, and uncle can't hear us, and well... just when things are about to get desperate, my brother calls out from the corridor bend, "aunty jidi aunty jidi!!"

( Now, for the sake of Jidi, you will read 'Aunty' as SISTER. )

Haha, yes. Thank God she came back, and found the keys.

Initially she thought something had happened to her father, since my brother was so excited when he saw her, and its us 3 kids standing outside in the corridor.

A boy couldn't ask for a better neighbour, and God. :)
--

Today there was something so different when I thought about God's love for me. It's a familiar feeling, that I usually tag to something else.

(For myself to rmb what..." Desmond, the familiar feeling was how you always feel when you think about supn. and lant. and tem.") Haha, i wonder if even i will understand next time!

But i thank You God. Because... You know la. Haha, No one. no one could ever replace You and the love You bring.

You make me very happy.

Desmond and Supernatural.

Argh! New favourite show man!!

I've read about it a long while now, since it first came out, and when I still had the time to snoop around the now defunct WB website.

SUPERNATURAL!!

Now usually with me, its,"Horror? No thank you.."

But its different with Supernatural... maybe cos its not that scary. (EVEN THO its still 3 mins of the show mainly behind the cushion.) And its just 43 - 3 min per week as opposed to 2 hours when there's no commercial break. It's not just mindless scare and shock tactics, cos its got the drama element in it.

And it's a known fact I love Drama.

I have a sorta list of shows I always wanted to follow but have never.

1.) Lost (only through readings online.)

2.) Alias (i have no idea what's going on.)

3.) 24 (cos ppl keep talking about it.)

4.) 4400. (that's a real show!! and i read about it online too. haha)

5.) Supernatural (hey!! I could be following it now.. :):):)

6.) CSI (argh.. way too long mann. since the last ep. and its on axn now.)

Ok, so maybe that's why I like Supernatural. Its drama, its something i can follow, after a really long time of aimless channel-hopping.

AHhh. TV.

HAHA

Desmond and the Last of 06', in 07'.

How surreal. I didn't even see it coming, at least i didn't think it would be that quick. But there it went. 31st December 2006. Just went by, with my dirty hands, and standing at the back of Sembawang, with the rest. Wishing each other new year wishes in whispers.

It felt nice.

I dun feel any older, any different. It is only the knowledge a new beginning has come that sets me thinking, "there must be something more (in the new year)(because it IS a new year)."

I guess that's hope then. Although mine seems to be more, Hope By Default. But I think it is realising and coming to terms with your present, and being down to earth about it. But also knowing that your present, is well... simply that. That 'present' must give way to 'future'.

And for us, we not only hope, but we rest, assured, in the knowledge that a Future is coming, and that our own futures are held in His Hand.

--

On a lighter note, I went for the Movie Marathon, and it was packed. Screaming, shouting, laughing. Strangely throughout the entire night. It seems like pp took turns to sleep, and then to stay awake.

But the whole feeling behind the event was mostly, nice and warm. Like being in your house with all the free-walking about, and having to deal with siblings who kept screaming, and the like. But the fellowship was nice.

It felt nice. :)

Instead of having to deal with the dog-eat-dog-ness in the office.

I love the Saints. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

Oh and Joy won an Ipod. Just had to etch that down in the desmond chronicles. So exciting!! Our region pp have won at the last 2 watchnights now! haha..

Desmond and the Double.

I KNEW IT!

Haha, i dunno if i've ever said this on the blog, but chandler is the one TV character i feel i'm really like. In the stupid things we like, the situations we have been in. Of cos, my family is not as messed up as his is, but my point is... so many similarities!! The good and the bad la huh. haha..

Sometimes when I watch Friends, Chandler would do something and i would think to myself, "HEY! that's how i would react too!!"

Of cos, i'm realistic also la huh. Haha, he is he, i am i, its impossible to be replicas. haha..

Ahh, its been a long time....
Up up and away pp!

----
Arh i did write about it before!! In Desmond and Friends (The TV Show)

Desmond and the (near) End of Year Post.

Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn

Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope

-Faith to be Strong, Andrew Peterson.

---

This year has come and gone by so very fast. Just like that, its been almost more than 9 months in the army. As a little trivia for you, this would be the first time in these 9 months that I've actually wrote the word 'ARMY' in my blog. (as far as I can rmb.)

As much as it was short, its been really long, if you understand what i mean. Time passes by so fast, but the journey has been really long and tiring. Don't get me wrong, God has blessed me so much, and shown me so much mercy and grace.

I have a very good job, and most things in my life are going smoothly.

Sounds like I'm gonna have a 'but'... but no 'but'. Haha, it is as it is. God has been good.

In 04' I learnt "that faith is trust in the character of God to do what He knows is best" and that "God doesn't change." This year, the understanding that God loves and accepts me unconditionally has really hit home. Or is still hitting home.

Well, till the 31st, where 06's closing entry will come. Let me think what to write. haha..
Till then, Happy birthday Jesus.. erm. I usually ask You to bless my friends when its their birthdays.. maybe we should bless You now. haha, Blessed Christmas everyone.

Up, up and away!

Desmond and the Theatre Poem.

in the
cold
theatre
damp
curtains
hard
flooring
full
audience

the one-man show
goes on
unnoticed

casted director
directing actor

cd/da: heh

The curtains fall.

Desmond and the Grin that Stole the Sanity.

Sometimes, out of nowhere, something will cause me to grin uncontrollably to myself. Those times, I feel the muscles at the either ends of my mouth tighten up, and there I'd go, grinning like my life depended on it.

It can be over everything and anything really; alot of snacks left over in the office; lots of milk in the fridge; nice show on tv. Times like these, the monologue to myself begins. "Desmond, stop smiling like that. If someone catches you, you won't be able to explain yourself. You'll betray your neurosis, and we know your inwardly-neurosis keeps you outwardly-sane."

Of cos the grinning is part of the inward crazy that's spilling over, eating away at the normal, even mundane, exterior. Like termites eating your precious wood pieces, or like me at the chinese new year-table, wiping the table clean of pineapple tarts.

Still, here are some things you could do, when you get high and start to laugh at everything and anything.
1.) Take out your handphone, and pretend to be talking on the phone.
2.) Put your fist in your mouth, so you'll stop laughing.
3.) Just laugh out loud.

The bible says, "A merry heart, doeth good like a medicine." :)

Desmond and the Window-shopping Story.

Sis evelyn once told us of how, when she first came to church, she didn't know anyone, and she would come to church, listen to the sermon, and leave, without (really) talking to anyone... cos she just didn't know anyone.

And she came week after week, without talking to anyone. Until one day, on her way to sunday service, she detoured and went to a shopping centre and just window-shopped that sunday.

I can't really rmb what the moral of her story was, but what i did rmb was the gist. That as much as we should be in church for God, and to worship God... having friends in church is also important. Cos God did not make us to be alone.

How true that no man is an island.
Fellowship of the Saints? Yep. We all need someone to hold us up, to encourage us, to listen to us complain (once in awhile.....)

.. to be sensitive to us, so that we dun need to say anything...

Of cos we'll have to be that Someone, to someone else.
It's a two-way street. And it takes effort..

Effort to 1.) Be there for others.
2.) Be there, for others to be there for you.

"By this shall they know that you are My disciples, that you love one another."

Desmond and the public games.

Do you ever play stupid games with strangers, without them knowing they are part of the game? Haha, I do sometimes.

Its nothing much la, haha, but sometimes when i walk home, i play racing games with the people ard me. Cos sometimes they'll rush and rush, and i want to show them there's no need to be so hectic.. So i'll try to walk as cool-ly as possible, but overtake them. Then I'll slow down and let them overtake me, before I repeat the process again with them.

Another game i used to play; when i am in a bus, and the bus is leaving the bus-stop, i maintain eye contact with a person at the bus-stop and see who breaks the contact the first. Haha, usually i lose. HAHA..

Sometimes i play a rushing game with myself, like try to get home before 7, cos i have never done that before.. on a normal working day. Haha, so i'll rush like mad, trying my best to reach home without running.. for too long. haha, the closest i got was 7.00.01 ONE SECOND!

I'm so tired.. haha, i want to sleep. I can't be in church tmr cos i have weekend duties. Its a busy month, but i pray i will be able to go church still.. So far next week is the only confirmed can go week. Oh, i'm taking leave from wed to fri this coming week.. so... yea. rest before the storm. Haha..

God bless us. Haha, night reader..

Desmond and What Matters.

I am convinced that what matters to you, matters to God.

I've been wanting, awhile now, to write an entry about how God is a vandal... in a sense (don't get me wrong.) I see His handiwork scribbled all over my life. In little things like giving me favor in the office, while doing my weekend duties, so many many things... big and small.

I'm sure you've experienced it too. Everywhere you go, the Name pops up.

"God was here. 241006." on the walls at home.
"God was here. 171006." on the way home.
"God was here. 201006." on the office table.

Of cos i read something a few days ago, that put what I meant, in a way that's more appopriate. It went "God's autograph", as opposed to my "God's vandalism."

Haha, nonetheless, I am convinced that what matters to you, matters to God.

I really dunno how else to say this. I guess it means, God makes your problems, your cares, your anxieties... His business. He knows what makes you happy and excited, and He takes note of that. The things and people that are important to you, I think they are important to God too.

So take heart, if you're walking thru hard and difficult times, know that God is aware of it, and your situation is His business. :)
For the lonely, the worn out, the stressed out, the misunderstood, insert-your-own-situation.... rest in the fact that what matters to you, matters to God.

---

Father God, s igh.i
d unn oho w.i
' ma tth een do fm y______.
Bu tthan kyo u.

Desmond and the Need.

I need You
No one but You
None besides You
Only You

- E.F, _______

Heh, dun even know the title to the song.

Desmond and the Flash Shortage.

I have no flash. Can't download it, can't set it up.

For a few mths now.

SO IRRITATING. haha i can't acess so many things! Like youtube, or whatever tube things that has videos that use a flash. Or col's tag board. Which I have to ask, why does your tagboard need flash arh col? haha.. and i realised today. That i can't acess the WB site too, cos it uses flash! At least parts of it. I think.

Turn on the flash please. haha

Ok, i'm in a very ______ mood. So its gonna get long, so readers please stop reading here.

I miss you guys. I dunno where you are now. You're probably right there. But its seems abit far. Just round the corner. Or maybe just right beside me. Yet you seem untangible. Like a senseless grasping of the morning mist. I'm sorry.

you can't begin to imagine how much i miss you. sometimes i think i might have an easier time with you around. at least i knew you believed in me, back then. maybe i'd fit in better. i have so much to say to you. but you know how sometimes too much makes it difficult to say anything at all. --

You told me He said, "unconventional." I cried so hard then cos i knew but i never wanted that. its so difficult. i miss you too.

Father, you know i love them. will You keep them safe? bring that person back to you, and just watch over the rest. give them so much grace Father. amen.

Desmond and the Filler.

Sometimes, there are just no words.

Sometimes, a tinge of sadness creeps up, unknowingly. Burrowing itself in your heart. And Sarah McLachlan's Fallen doesn't help to chase it away.

Sometimes the words bubble around the rims, but no push suffices in spilling the contents.

In times like these, you make up ostentatious words and sentences. As filler for a page that deserves an update.

But what ostentatious word can be filler for that little void in one's heart?

Sometimes, especially recently, I feel I'm running on Over-due Grace.

Its yesterday's grace. Its not a new thing. Its a left-over from yesterday, yesterweek. When I still remembered to fall at His feet and to spend time with Him. When I was in His presence, and He gave me strength.

And these days, these weeks, I've allowed myself to slacken. I forsake time in His presence, and the over-due grace is slowing flowing out, and nothing new flows in. And questions start to snatch at the opportunity to be that filler.

But only One can fill the emptiness.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning,
Great is Thy faithfulness.

His Love -- unceasing despite my unfaithfulness.
Thankyou Father.

Desmond and Milk.

Know that famous, Got Milk? ad..?

I love milk!!! I really do.. I used to drink loads when I was young, then I stopped. And suddenly the love for milk is back!! Btw, if you wanna get milk, dun get the Magno*** ones.. get the Meiji one.

Its so smooth, it's milk like silk!

Its been a long time since I've blogged. Serious blogger's block man. I've logged in many times over the past few weeks, and closed the window after I'm done with the net, without writing anything.

Even now, this milk thing is just a spontaneous (i dunno how to spell. haha) attempt to at least blog something. Its cos I'm drinking milk now.

Aiya.. haha be blessed. am missing out on alot of things that's going on in your lives. major exams, major environment changes, major personal and spiritual growths. but its so encouraging and nice to see the many ones grow, and see how God takes care of you, even if i only see it from afar.

He is so good huh, so stinking good.
Be blessed and have a great week..

Desmond and Cup Theory.

The prayer of a righteous man (or woman) availeth much.

How true. I just wanna take this time to just thank God, and the many people who have been praying for me, or have thought and whispered a small prayer to God for me. Thank you.

I've seen the favor of God on my life since i entered this new place.. Seriously.

You know how there's this song that goes, "So blessed I can't contain it, so much I gotta give it away?" Well, I believe that we are blessed as christians, and people around us will also start to become blessed.. sorta like the Cup Theory.

Haha, yea, developed by yours truly.

The Cup Theory goes like this. We are Cups. You can chose yourself la, I wanna be a blue-ish grey cup, with batman's picture on it. and the handle is shaped like a batarang. That's batman's boomerang btw.

See, God pours the Sprite of Heaven into us, ie the Cup. And the more He pours, the Sprite level goes up. That's good. But as He pours more and more and it overflows, the other cups beside you start to get blessed too.. as a result of your uncontainable Sprite.

I've seen this happen where I'm right now. We just got posted again, and everybody wants to be posted back to where we are right now.. and there are only a few places. 4 out of those few are from my bunk (including me la, THANKGOD.) And all my cab buddies are also in this place.

I mean.. God is so great man. Thank you guys for praying for me. Truly we serve a great and awesome God. To Him be the glory forever and ever amen!

Desmond and Friends (the TV show).

I dunno if I've ever said it, but i really enjoy Friends.. I used to spend my post A's days, watching episode after episode. Just kept on laughing and laughing, esp at Pheobe.

Ok. Show you my Friends!! Haha, picture-blog!!














Here's Pheobe and Mike at their wedding.. Pheobe and Joey decided to set each other up with their friends and go on a double date. Thing was Joey didn't have a guy friend. So he went into Central Perk and just shouted for a random Mike. BLAH BLAH BLAH, and one season and a few eps later, Mike and Pheobe married.

That's Joey officiating the wedding. He got his license to marry ( as in like the priest marries a couple.) He got his license off the internet, to marry Chandler and Monica, 3 years back. It was still valid so he married Pheobe and Mike, when the real priest was stuck in the heavy snow. Its outside Central Perk, the cafe where they usually hang out in.

Chandler and Monica were married in season 7. Monica is Ross's sister, and Chandler is Ross's best friend. This was in Barbados, at a hotel when Ross was a speaker in a paleontology conference. Monica's hair is so phomb cos of the high humidity.

Here is Ross and Rachel, who were a couple in season 2, and then they broke off. Through the entire series, their relationship is so complicated. On and off, still having feelings for each other.. dunno la. Aiyah... Neeways, Pheobe is behind.. Ross had a date last night, but he has no fashion sense. So Rachel and Pheobe are helping him pick out clothes.

My favourite Friend is Pheobe, cos she's such a free-spirit, and so "wonderfully weird", quoting Mike. She's got so much crazy antics la. Chandler and Monica are next...

I think Chandler is the TV personality that I feel most like. Alot of things la.. I watch him and I think to myself.. "hey, sounds like me." Rachel ignoring his lame jokes... "Hey that's like me!"

Haha, anyways.. Friends. So sad. No more seasons.
Well, another thing I like besides Bruce Wayne and Keating.

Up up and away!

Desmond and the Sidekick.

I was thinking about this yesterday, after 2 draft entries. Faithful readers over the months would know there are 2 things I blog passionately about. Batman and Ronan Keating.

Well, I was looking at a batman site, and I realised, as much as I like Batman, I dun wanna be him. If i could choose, I'd rather be Robin. I'd rather be the sidekick to the big man.

Maybe its cause being the sidekick, you have less responsibility. You have a considerable amount of power and ability, but you have much less responsibility. You have the room to mess up, becos you've got the world's greatest hero as your bestest friend. Superman, Batman...

You can be stronger than most of the city; still be a famed (minor) hero; still save lives. But at the same time, you can also be vulnerable. You can break, becos Batman's the real one the city's counting on. He's the one without the option to break down, and give in.

You can be caught, and bound, and you'll still have Superman flying in, saving you. ( Yes, Superman has no sidekick. Point noted.. haha)

You can still be human, despite being a (minor) superhero.
Cos Big Brother Superhero is there to catch you, and clean up your tracks.

I guess I want to be human sometimes. To feel vulnerable, and let down my guard. To be looked after and watched over.

But I forget sometimes, that I'm already sidekick to the greatest Superhero the world has ever known.

They call Him the Great I Am, Jehovah. El-Shaddai. Adonai. Elohim. Yahweh. Emmanuel. He who was and is and is to come. He the Maker of heaven and earth. He the Lover of my soul. Mighty to deliver. My refuge and my rock. He who lifts my feet, and goes before me. As pillar; of cloud and fire.

The Lord, my God. The Lord Almighty.

I'm a sidekick to Him. I am watched over, looked after. I'm given all power in heaven and on earth, and yet, I can hide in the shadow of His wings. I can be weak, cos He makes me strong.

I could go on and on. Really.

Thank You Father. You're my Superhero.
Thank You, for You watch over me.
What You've reserved for me, none can take away.

Thank You, that You watch over us, and love us enough, to not leave us the way we are. Thank You for saving us.

Praise the Lord, all the earth..

Desmond and the Escalator.

I was on the escalator the other day, riding upwards, and I happened to look to my left. And there I saw something that made my day.

Ronan Keating on the display panel of Semba*ang Music.

Ah, its not a hyped up thing, but Mr Keating's new album is out. Has been for quite awhile... I chanced upon the news a month ago while browsing through the net.

And then I turned my head to the front, and it was just like you see in the movies. The guy goes up the escalator, camera changes to the front, where it catches him coming up the escalator to the upper floor, and TA DUM!!! He sees his favourite superhero on the display panel of Popul*r.

Pure bliss.

What are the odds of Mr Keating and Mr Wayne being so close to each other?! (Actually, quite good odds, considering "they" are cardboard figures.)

Nonetheless, I was pretty happy for those few minutes.

God is so good. Stinking good. Just came back from the Asian Idols thing... Nice to see so many ppl involved. Its probably the first time in a long time where I can see the entire show, as part of the audience. I miss being involved in such productions, and all the rehearsals.

Ok, I have nothing much to really blog about so my thots are all over the place. I finally found a nice simple template, and I happily changed the babyblues picture to this batman storyboard, and swapped all the christmas colours for something dark-er. Haha, all the greys look the same I realised.

Aye nvm.

Up up and away!!

Desmond and the Hiatus, and the World Cup.

Its been such a long time since I wrote! Just trying to spend my time more wisely.

Its the World Cup season and I... correction -- It's the end of the World Cup season, the time where the international language is starting to fade away into oblivion, till 4 years later, where it will rise again.

Admittedly, the World Cup seriously bonds ppl. Frens staying up late, (at declan's house); neighbours drinking kopi and enjoying the late-night GOALLLLLLLLLL, at the 24-hour kopitiam.

I think I've lost out on alot.

Don't get me wrong, I dun watch or play soccer. So I dun mind missing the matches. Its the opportunity to fellowship I miss.

Too many I miss, too much to say.

That's why, sometimes, a Hiatus is better. Sometimes, leaving your phone at home could be better. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes... "You say it best when you say nothing at all.."

Desmond and the Uncertain Pop-up.

In the past few weeks, I've written many many entries, that somehow found themselves worthy enough to only remain as draft, or to be flushed down the sewers of Netspace.

Are you sure you want to navigate from this page?
You have unsaved changes.

No. I'm not sure. I'm never sure.

If I were to be described in a few words, I would have to say I'm an Escapist. An indecisive escapist. Am I sure I'm like that? Na, not sure.

I would love to navigate my way out of situations that overwhelm me, out of conflict, out of misery. So that I can come out fine. To step into that comedy/sitcom life.

To where quarrels are resolved in 30min.
To where there are always 2nd, 3rd, a gazillion alternatives when one door closes.
Alternatives that are found in 30 min.
To where the entire house can collapse, but one week later...

One week later... all is well.
To a place of certainty, certainty that I can smile without a mini-desmond whispering, "but what about that problem, or that, or this? It's not over yet, are you sure you wanna smile?"

Are you sure?
I'm not sure.

Are you sure you want to navigate from this Page?
You have unsaved changes.

I do want to navigate from this Page. But I'm not so sure my changes are unsaved.

Certainty, Certainty. aveh ityp no em. aves em. mi unningr os ryd.
God of certainty.

derit os .

bring me to that special bench in the park.
rugged, washed, battered.
only, take no one else
keep it special.
'else broken means
nothing.

-3.12pm

The One About Forty.

Seeing as how my previous post was about Twentyfour, I thot it would fit in nicely, that this post would be about Forty.

As a side note, is is fourty, or forty?

Well, Fourty is the first name of my good friend, Degree Celsius. Fourty Degree Celsius. Very good friend. In fact, he likes me so much he visited me last night, this morning... Of course, Forty (I'm just gonna rotate between FoUrty, and FoRty, since I dunno which one it is.)

OK, yes, back to what I was saying, Forty is a busy man. He has to go on chores, and he has to make appearances elsewhere, so he couldn't stay with me throughout. (thankGod!)

But being the good friend that he is, he has left his brother thirtyeight to stay with me. his sister thirtynine also occassionally drops by.

I've got to say, of all the Celsius's, I would really love to meet Thirtysix. We had a small falling out, and yea... yea.. Sigh. Let's just say I miss Thirtysix, and I would love to see him again.

As a side side note, I think its Forty, and not Fourty. But Forty looks like, its, like, very Fortified. Haha, Fort-y. ARGH!!!! Spellling bee competitions are so not for me.
--

Oh Jesus Jesus...

The One About twentyfour.

I've just finished my twentyfour km, and my feet have something to say. There there, don't be shy now, just say it loud and so clearly (maria, i've just met a girl named mariaaaa....).

Ouch.

Blisterful year, its a blisterful time. But thank God, and thanks to joash and the miracle-working black tape, the blisters are not as much as compared to my sixteen km.

The youth camp theme two years back was twentyfour seven. I've got to say twentyfour seven God has been with me. Every step of the way I've seen God move in so many different ways.

They say you'll become a real man after you go in... I was talking to Daniel just now, and he sorts of disagrees with them. I too disagree. I don't feel any more of a man, or less for that matter, after going in.

I just feel that I'm a man, ohkayfine, boy, who just appreciates time with his frens, and appreciates his family, and appreciates his God more.

There's so much going on la. I got rejected, (GASP! first time in my life... haha, k rubbish. I admit) Referring to my applications. I'm anxious thinking where I'm gonna be posted. Do I have enough time for ppl I wanna catch up with? When am I gonna watch X3, and with who (altho I've determined if no one goes with me, I'll be going with Jean, Scott, Warren Brown, and Logan.)

Admist all my worry, there's the very special verses, "Do not be anxious about anything..." and the one that jumped out at me that night when I was feeling so swarmped by so many things...

Be still and know that I am God.

Do you know worry is a sin? It's putting faith in the circumstance, and your own inability to handle it, instead of putting your faith in God.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will be still and know YOU ARE GOD.

Thank God for being God.

The One With the Psychological Test.

He stands in the city square
Scores of feet passing him

Many feet
Many shoes

In his mind, he wears them on
his own synthetic feet

He feels them tightening, the shoelaces tightening.

He feels them. He knows them.
He feels them? He knows them?

The shoes feel the tightening.
That discriminate pressure.
discriminate.

Discriminate.

-------

Ok so I'm back again. And I don't need to go in tmr night! (Altho, we were all confined today till 5, cos we aren't fit enough to go out.) Thanks to a psychological test or something, I can go in on monday instead. Apparently they think I'm crazy.

Well, I'll take it up a level.

I'm not just crazy. I'm estatic! I feel like James Bond, walking on a tightrope, sipping red wine, across the Grand Canyon.

It means alot to me, this free time. The extra night where your head lies on a familiar (growingly distant) pillow; the fingertips on the keyboard; and the company of family.

Remember my swollen finger? Btw, pardon the crazy jumping from topic to topic. Haha, tired lah tired. And also, I tag at any tagboard, so if I dun reply you, don't call the Anti-Reply Tagboard Hotline. We don't have to resort to that...

Well, I wanted to report sick the night before i came home. Really. It was so swollen and hurting, but I didn't go cos well... let's just say someone's reluctance rubbed off me.

Anyways, the confinement, the swollen finger, and the inability to report sick despite the monsterish swell, made me very very sad. ( I hate to say this but 'sad' makes me feel so primary school. Ah, the joys of childhood.)

But God turned the situation around. Long story short, cos I'm abit tired to type heh, if I had went that night, I'd probably be hospitalised over a small matter, and the repercussions would be a probable recourse.

Thank God He knew all things.

He knows all things. Who else can say that truly?
I dunno what you guys are going through.
But I know my God knows.

And He knows best.

... the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him...

He knows best.

The One With All The Hazelnut Chocolates.

Blessed be Your name
Though I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

I'm back!! For the hol's. Well half-holiday, since I came out only this morning. Its been an eventful week, so much has happened. But all that's fine now, with Cadbury Hazelnut chocs popping into my mouth like hands waving wildly in a music concert. -woosh, (to your left), woosh, (to your right), woosh, (into the mouth), woosh, (chew!)-

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Ooo. The choc are gone. I'm sad. Haha..

If you must know, I had a sort of test, to see if I have leadership qualities and stuff this week. Held in the forbidden forests again. Hate living out there. Anyways, I can safely say I am a born follower. Yes, I follow Jesus.

Haha, I can't lead for (hazel)nuts la. Whatever. Haha, my finger swelled very badly on the last day, which was yesterday, and now its still swollen. Went to a doc just, and he poked it and squeezed out some of the pus. Gross stuff I gotta say. Pain. Very pain.

Btw, I dun really like chocolates that much. Just craving. It's happy food. haha


And if you're wondering why I have this song etched inbetween my entry, well, I'm confined again. Haha, I'm terribly sad, cos I miss alot of you, and I miss my family terribly much. I planned to have sat evening to catch up and all. BUT, all dashed cos of my silly mistake where I listened to the crowd instead. (See! Natural born follower.) I cried at the window last night, as I called home and replied msges and all. Thank God my block is the only block facing the sea, and mainland. -Picture me grinning uncontrollably.-


I have so little time for my parents, and for my group of close frens, and my classmates. (btw, about MI:III, I was waiting to see if I could make it then reply. Apparently I can't. Altho I would have suggested we watch something else. Haha.. )

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name

But in all things, I acknowledge the sovereignty of God. I thank Him. Altho I can't see any good in the confinement, I still thank You God. That You are God, and You are in control. You're God. You don't need a good reason to do anything. But I know You do. Cos You look out for me.

I realised that its not about being positive and finding the good in the bad. Altho we should be positive. But its about thanking God for all things, good or bad. And as sad as I am, I can only stand amazed at His love.

You look out for me.
Blessed be Your glorious name.

The One After Mud, Tekan, and Bugs.

Yes, the Boy is back.

Haha, Its been a really long 2 weeks, but no worries, I'm safe and sound, blistered and bubbled, with scratches and rashes all around.

Its strange how well I could fit in with the forest and its insect-community. I hate insects as many know, and I was thinking I would probably spend the entire camp ARHHhhhhhhhh-ing away like I normally would 'arh'.

But lying in my little hole (which is pretty much like an open grave I've gotta say), I felt more like a tree trunk -- comfortable in its place, with the ants and the worms, and the grasshoppers, and the spiders, frolicking through it.

YUCKS!

Thank God I'm no tree trunk. Haha, but truthfully, I was pretty comfortable with the insects all around. Oh, I even saw a few fireflies. Pretty cool I've gotta say. That was for my last night. Where everyone had to dig their own trench, or as it was to me, their own open graves.

No kidding, I felt like Dracula lying in the pit, hands folded over my chest, keeping the blasted rifle safe. I couldn't turn left nor right. Just sit up to get up. Walking from point to point, you see other Dracs lying dormant beside. Mist rising, shadows long and swaying... arhhhh. Gothic.

I say the Mothers suffer the most during the camps. I brought back an entire duffel bag of dirty muddy clothes man. Every was pulling along their duffel bags, gathered in small clusters as we were heading home.

Sounds familar? Yep, cos Changi's full of such scenes. Group of stewardess walking with poise and grace, pulling their duffel bags along. It seems the Men of the Big N are preeeetee similar to the Ladies of the Big S. (That's SIA btw.)

"We train you to be men," they say.
"We pick only (society's) perfect women," they say.

Men's man and Women's woman have not much difference afterall!!

Nonsense aside, I really thank God for sustaining me. I mean, I'm a Bath Boy.

( Voice over: Bubble blowing, he destroys the scums of society with a wave of his Loofah.!!Governing Bathram City with the help of his sidekick Rahbur Duckie, evil (bacteria) trembles at his might!! He is BATHBOY!!)

Yup, that's me. (Beams with pride.) What can I say, being muddy is so not a nice feeling, but you get used to everything after awhile.

Just glad to be back.

The One With All the Missing.

Its been about 1 and a half months since I've gone in. To be honest, every time I book out, I honestly wish I could have a good hang-out dinner with my frens.

I miss alot of you alot.

I find myself feeling like I'm trying to grab at anything remotely related to my un-camp life everytime I book in. Sometimes I tear in the cab, sigh, and ask God for strength.

To be honest, I'm abit lost as I return to church. So much has changed. For me, time has become so precious. I need time for my family, and time for my friends, and time for God, and church. Its difficult with all the new things.

Please keep me in prayer, that I dun make any mistake that could cause me a confinement. Haha, miss you guys loads. Take care people.

The One With Superhero Trivia.

I've always loved Marvel and DC superhero cartoons. Each character has their own unique story, of how they got their super powers, and the implications of their powers. Kinda like how each of us have our own "back in my days" to tell our grandchildren at future family dinners.

Here are some superheros that I feel for the most.

Batman
Probably one of the most mysterious superhero there is. A man who, to me, is brilliantly powerful, yet equally vulnerable at the same time. This guy is THE MAN. By night, he is the Caped Crusader, the most brilliant man on earth, arguably the most dangerous super hero of all time. Has no powers, but is so intellectual. By day he is Bruce Wayne, rich, seemingly ignorant fool whose mind is all about hedonistic enjoyment.

Yet behind the mask (literally), here is a man who has had no childhood. A man so dedicated to his nightjob, he realises he can truly open up to few. A man who wears a mask not just to hide his identity, but to build up walls to protect himself. A man people misunderstand. Evil fears him; the police think he is a troublemaker. As Batman, he speaks in whispers to ensure his alter-ego is not betrayed.

A part of me actually feels sad for Batman.
Dunno what else to say la.

Rouge
Of X-men fame. Here is another hero who is pretty clammed up. Because of her powers, which work by physical contact with another person, she can't touch others without hurting them. And becos she fears bring harm to people, she draws away, and becomes slightly anti-social. Sorta like batman. Well the X-men: Evolution versioin of Rogue is like that at least.

No physical contact with others. That's really qute a tough thing.

Superman
Ahh Clark Kent. The nice homely superhero. Always going back to his roots, well. Sort of roots in the Kent Farm. I think he is the one superhero who has good family backing. Martha and Jonathan Kent in Smallville at least, are seen to be really guiding him. Which is something I hardly see in most superheros. Little is known about their families and all.

Ok granted, not many have an entire drama series played by real-life people, instead of drawings. But Superman is like the hero with a homely feel, to me. Plus he is good friends with Batman. That's good enough reason to like him.

Wonderwoman
Diana is probably the most famous female superheroine. One of my favourite. Yes yes, partly cos Batman in JL: The animated series has a thing for her. Haha, but I like her style. And the fact that she's so lady-like, yet she fights the dark side at the same time.

Grace, beauty, and power and strength all in the right mix.

Many of these superheros have some sad story behind the power and all. In reality, our lives are also the same. Everyone has some kind of sad story, sad past. Sometimes we laugh it off as we talk about -- it's a stepping stone that brought us where we are now. Other times, we choke as we relate it. Other times we get frustrated. Sometimes, we dun even reach the end, becos we dun wanna talk about it.

Nice to know, throughout all of these life-stories, one Superhero has always been there watching over us. The One who was so misunderstood, and all alone, many many many years ago today. Yet He went through it, to save the victims from certain death.

Anyways, its true you know, what Ben Parker said, "With great power, comes great responsibility."

"To whom much is given, much is required."

The One With the 2 Favs Combined.

If you know me well, you probably know I'm a Ronan fan. If you read my blog, you would be accustomed to reading his name. I dun tink I've said this before on my blog, but I'm an Elliot fan too. I tink i had it on my msn nick once.

Well I watched the re-runs of AMI today, and I missed Elliot's performance, but HEYHEYHEY!!! I saw the short clip at the end of all the performances, and realised he sang If Tomorrow Never Comes, a Ronan song!!

!!!!

Exciting!! What are the odds man. Very happy to see that. Haha

That aside, I need to rush off to go back in. Hey you guys, I really miss hanging out with you all. Really. Just talking and hanging out. Can we please do so on fri after service or something. Haha, I need the company of the Saints.

Serious.

Thank you guys for praying for me. Thank you. God is so good. SO SO SO SO SO good. Ok I gotta rush. can't wait for good friday. haha..

I wanna make You smile, Jesus.
Be with me.

Cya soon you guys, take care, be blessed!