Desmond and What God Sees.

I asked God to show me what exactly He saw, when He allowed for me to be put through a trial. When He said, "Ok, I give permission to let Desmond be put through that trial; that situation," what did He see me doing way into the future?

I mean the Bible says that God will not put you through something that is beyond you; His grace is sufficient for you.

In other words, what God saw was probably me coming out victorious, praising Him and His sovereignty in the midst of the trial. And He had that faith in me, to rely on Him and not give in or up. And so He said, "Let it be done." And in His head He thinks at the same time, "Cos My kid will come through victorious. heh heh..."

Doesn't mean that what He saw will come to past. It can. And it would, if we don't give up and keep trusting Him to bring to past what He saw.

But trust me on this, sometimes it's so long and daunting, and we start to give up. I've got situations I'm seemingly stuck in, and it doesn't seem to get better. For one, my right hand is like... has some skin defect or something haha. it's cracking and it's spreading. It's so easy for me to ask, "Why God, why like that," and trust me, I have.

And these situations sometimes are so overwhelming and you're just at the end of your road. You fail and fail and fail a gazillion million times and you think this isn't a way a child of God is supposed to be.

At times like these, ask God what He saw. And perhaps you'd see Him say, "ok, put him/her through that period of trial. Let him have a slip in his health; let her lose her job; let his friends turn against him.

Because I see way ahead, and I see him coming out victorious. I see her praising My name. I see a promotion in the spiritual realm for them. Cause I see him failing, but I see him pressing on and keeping his trust in Me."

So this entry is for those out there who feel they have been abandoned; those who feel so guilty that they have abandoned God; those who have no strength to go on making the same mistakes over and over again...

God saw many possibilities that could arise out of your situation. But He chose to focus on the one where you came through victorious and overcoming, and because of that, He allowed you to be put through it. Choose to see that same one, and press on. As for myself, I'm gonna press on.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9
"We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Rom 8:37

God, glorify Yourself in our lives. Every part of it. Amen.

Desmond and the Waiting Room.

There's just something about sitting at the doctor's waiting for your name/number to be called/beeped, that's just very unnerving.

I think it's the vulnerability one feels cause...

1. he's not sure when his name or number will be called. (The I-Can't-Be-Certain-What's-Next.)
2. he's not sure if he'll hear his name called, especially in that funny accent the nurse has. (The Will-I-Notice-If-It-Does-Come.)
3. he's not really keen on the entire waiting room of 40 patients knowing his name. (The I'm-Kinda-Afraid-What-People-Will-Think.)

Haha, I have so much I wanna say about these 'The-s', but I'm kinda lazy. And yes, I'm Kinda Afraid What People Will Think about my crazy thoughts. Haha...

"Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
:)

Desmond and the Abcess.

This is a jelly bean.
This is a top-banana-flavoured jelly bean.

Anyways, reduce it by half, and stuff it into the tip of my thumb... and voila. That's how my thumb looks like now.

HAHA... yes. I'm gross. Oh well. I've got quite a graphic imagination. so yea. haha...

Anyways hopefully I get more MC. HAHHA.. like Joash Onyx, The Stone Pokemon.

Give me the desires of my heart, Lord. hahah.

No seriously. :)

In everything God, You remain sovereign. Hallelujah!

Desmond and the People Watching.

I don't know bout you, but I used to people-watch. Still do now sometimes.

The thing about people-watching is that, you see people in their real moments... the moments when they think no one is watching, or they are simply too caught up in their thoughts to care.

You see the screaming kid, and their moms who couldn't care less. You see people who fall asleep suddenly, when the pregnant woman boards the bus/train.

And you also see the people who give up their seats for others.

The people I find myself sneaking glances at are the ones who have a certain, sad smile. Like that song, "the (person) with the broken smile." I'm so intruiged by what's on their minds, as they smile, sadly, at a baby, or out the window.

Are they usually smiley, but are sad that day?
Or are they simply "smiling through the storm?"

I wonder if God people-watches. Actually, He does. He sees all, and knows all. But I wonder what kinda people attracts His attention. I was thinking about this just bout 2 days back.

How timely that the message today hit on one point; us needing to be mindful that God is always watching us.

And I think that's the answer. The people who attract God's attention, are the ones who Fear the LORD. The ones who love Him and respect Him enough, to want to live unto Him and Him alone. The ones who seek to acknowledge Him in every corner and turn of their life.

Father, help me do the same.
To play only to an Audience of One.
Amen. :)

Desmond and the Awesome School Holiday Week.

Like I told my net... This has been an awesome week! EVEN THOUGH my parents were gone... this week felt like a sch holiday week for me. haha..

Recap!
Monday.
Work, then dinner at Elvin's place. Thanks to Esvin. That's Esther tan and Elvin. Nice and warm meal. Then some of them went for kbox. Home for me. haha

Tues.
I took off to work at home. Awesome I tell you. Then a very awesome prayer meeting. (argh vintage red!) Then back to work till bout 4am. It's been so long since I've stayed up... last time in college was cos of Lit Essays. Didn't think I would stay up this late again.

Wed
Boss called me to tell me to work from home on on thurs. HALLELUJAH! Then dinner at elvin's house. Stayed till pretty late, just talking. Then we called johnathan at 12 to sing him a solemn lullaby birthday song. haha.. happy birthday!

Thur
supper with joel, and an awesome day at home, doing work. HAHA.

Fri
Net and my family came back finally!!! I met onyx at net. the stone pokemon. (I choose you!)

God has been so good. To think I'd actually have home-cooked food even tho my mom wasn't around. and to think i'd have so many offs this week. haha, working from home. haha, I dun work the entire day. haha..

A big thanks to all that God sent along my way this week. To bless me in big or small ways. I appreciate the generousity, the company, and you guys. haha. Thanks for being part of an awesome week for me. best in a long time. haha.

i wanna go for camppppp. but still. thanks God! You're awesome!

Desmond and the Sure-fire Ways to Feel Good.

Uncle desmond's here once again, this time to share with you some sure-fire ways to feel good.

#1. Have a good, long bath/shower.

#2. Have a tub ( or more if you must) of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer, just in case.

#3a. Don't compare yourself with others.
b. Or if you really must compare, compare with an elephant. especially with regards to weight issues. you're bound to feel good bout yourself. (:

#4. Get non-see-through cups. If you can't see the water level, you'll never have to bother if the cup is half-full or half-empty.

#5. Watch a Korean Soap. Your life can't be as bad as the protagonist. If your life IS worse, the bright side is, after watching, you'll probably be too mentally exhausted to think bout your problems.

#6. Write a story. After working on it for 1 hour or so, you're kinda all floaty and ya-ya papaya, cos you think you're a novelist.

#7. Sleep. I love this method loads. Can't use it much tho.

#8. Play some praise/worship music.

#9. Hang out in church. And just. enjoy the fellowship of the saints. (:

#10. Know, and Understand, and finally Accept that you're a Son of God. Or Daughter. (Loosely quoted from Bro W during worship meet.)

I'mason I'mason. I'mason. (:
Haha. Ahhh. I rest in the shelter of Your Love.

Desmond and the Rejection Revelation.

I received 2 letters on Sat. One was from N.YOU.ES. and the other, N.TEE.YOU. I got rejected from the first, and an offer from the latter.

There's just something about a rejection letter, and so, here's how to differentiate.

1. An Acceptence Letter is often colourful; littered with reds and yellows and blues and greens and whatever other colour the mind can conceive.
The Rejection Letter has only black ink. Becos only Black can handle defeating the dreams of one hopeful applicant after another. Plus, black ink catridges are way cheaper than coloured ones.

2. An Acceptence Letter is heavy, cos there are brochures inside, telling you what you can with your new life.
A Rejection Letter is light -- just one piece of paper. No brochures to tell you what you can do, cos apparently, your life is gone. No need for brochures. (Altho I know that's hardly true. HAHA.)

3. An Acceptence Letter is long. It tells you things that you dun wanna know.
A Rejection Letter is short. It tells you just that one thing you didn't want to hear.

Haha, sounds cynical, haha, but I'm not oh kay. haha...

In all of it, God has been good to me. So very good. I mean,'bde' is hardly a good grade,but to actually get an offer?? It's testament that He is good. Plus, just cos I may not see the goodness, doesn't downplay the fact that He IS good.

And He has good plans for me... :)

Desmond and the Inter(esting)views.

That's it. 2 interviews down in a span of 4 days. N.TEE.YOU lit, and N.AI.YEE.

Honestly, I think the interviews could have gone better. Haha, I dun really speak well. And I'm reminded once again of a certain day in college where I made that point clear to many ppl. :(

That said, who I am doesn't define who God is. :)

He's bigger than I'll ever know, smarter than I'll ever know, and sees further into the future than I could ever see. He'll know what to do with my life, even though I dun at this point.

Haha, NEEways, still waiting on the replies and all. (oh God, please. haha.)

(please give me a car, and a license, and maybe a van cos i only just realised yesterday just how much cheaper diesel is compared to petrol. i mean i knew it was cheaper, but that much?!

and maybe while you'll at it, maybe i could have a 9 mth leave from the ES.EH.EPH. and not need to go back for rhee-sur-veest..)

thanks God, You're the best!

Desmond and The Un-stumble.

Father, please forgive me
for I cannot compose
the fear that lives within me
or the rate at which it grows.

Struggle has a purpose
on the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses
will leave a deadly scar?

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
all the doubt I'm feeling.

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble and what if I fall?

What if I stumble? What if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all.
What if I stumble? What if I fall?

I hear you whispering my name, You say
"My love for you will never change"

- DC Talk, What If I Stumble.

Ah. You turn up and blow me away... Even in the times I don't expect it, the times I dun see it coming.

I'll trust You.

What could I do,
What could I say?
But offer this heart Oh Lord
Completely to You.

- Hillsongs United, The Stand

Cos I have nothing else to offer to You.

And the surprising thing is, God, You'll actually take it. As messed up as it is. You'll actually take it. And You make it Yours, and You'll craft something worthy out of it. You say, "I'll take it," and "It's paid for." Then You'll work hard on it. Day and night.

Oh the love you have for such as us.

Thank You. I love You. I love You Dad.

Desmond and the Heavy Breakfast Theory.

Amy Green (to Joey who's finishing a pizza) : "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!"
...
Joey : "I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!"

-Friends, The One where Rachel's Sister Babysits.

Ever since I got back from TW, I keep having these crazy moments where I start raiding the fridge and the kitchen, and I'll keep eating and eating. Then at other times, I wouldn't even eat at all. Needless to say, I think I've gained weight since I came back.

I think the deal is, I know I lost weight in TW, so at the back of my mind, I keep telling myself it's ok to eat abit more. And over time, the over-compensated eating leaves you with more weight. That's why its not good to skip meals. You skip breakfast and lunch, and at the end of the day you say to yourself, "Ok, I didn't eat at all today. So to reward myself at dinner.........................."

I can't rmb who it was I had the theory with, in JC, that eating a good breakfast helps cuts down the need to have snacks and a heavy lunch throughout the rest of the day. I think that theory really works.

Ah.. food. Singaporean's Struggle man. The love-hate relationship.

Still, to quote Joey, "I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!" Although it's more like flabby. haha..

Desmond and the Visitor at Work.

I met Fabian at work today! Met him for lunch... haha, you can't imagine what a breath of fresh air that is like. To have a friend from church be at your workplace.

In Sec sch, I had Joel with me in school, and sometimes we'd walk home together, and it was a really nice feeling.

In JC, Joel was there with me for first 3 mths. We saw each other every day, cos sat and sun we would have services also. Then after first 3 mths, i had the luxury of having Col and John be with me. John left after J1... (which was a big bummer)... but thank God Col was around!

Haha, it was awesome to have Col with me in Lit tutorials, cos it's just nice to know that when you're being grilled with un-answerable questions, you can count on your friend not to be laughing at you, but rooting for you. And though my other friends were probably rooting for me too, it's just different you know? haha...

In fact..... Col, the first person in this list actually refers to you!! haha.. I was in such a terrible state that period . But just knowing that one of my closest friends was really literally pretty (ok, this is very bad english haha) close to me in location really helped me along. Rmbring that I'm accountable to God for the way I dealt with things. That I'm a christian.. You made JC feel like a church activity. HAHA, at times la. I really thank God for you, sis! :) (haha. awwWW. haha.)

Then, since I've been posted to my workplace, I've had Elvin to talk to online. Seriously, that's been a crazily superb relief. To be able to reach him in the midst of my busy busy, dog-eat-dog, work... is like being handed a firm stick when you're in quick sand. It's such a nice feeling to have someone who isn't out to dunk your head in the mud, to get to the top. It's like, even tho I can be abit insane when talking to him, really our conversations keep me otherwise. Elvin keeps my sanity in check. haha, thanks man. I also thank God for you... you're like hot cocoa on a cold night. haha.. :) ( AwwwWWw. haha..)

Of cos in JC, 'cousin' amanda, and 'bus-buddy' hannah were also God-sents. haha.. how could i leave you guys out. hannah you gave a feel of the family of God too. and manda, haha, you gave me a feel of 'cousin', haha, plus cos you knew joel too, and the fact we were like peas in a pod. haha..

I know this entry has become like a shout-out... haha, but its strange that I only realise today, how good God has been to me in this area. It takes a visit from Fabian to my workplace to make me realise how blessed I am. To have someone from the family of God with me every step of the way. Haha..

I dunno how to say this, but I love that we're a family of God. It really means alot to me. Especially when I see you guys out of church. Not just the ones I mentioned.. but everyone. I get the feeling of home in church. And that's what it is.

I LOVE THE FAMILY OF GOD. Really I do. I guess this is the Being a Family thing we've been talking about recently... haha.

Well, God's been there with me every single step of the way too. That awesome awesome God. Thanks God. :) I love You. You never left me, never will. Thanks Father. :) haha..

Such a long entry, but whatever. haha, I think I'll look back on this entry one day, and smile.

Ahhh. thank God for church, for the saints, for my brothers and sisters in this great big family of God.

I'm a happy boy. haha

Desmond and the Lapses in Self Control.

That's it. I made the mistake of trying follow NBC's Heroes by reading the episodes online instead of watching them. (cos i didn't think i have the time/energy after work.)

One thing led to another, and I decided, "just one episode on TV will suffice". 3 episodes later and now I'm hooked.

Ah, the stupid stupid things we do, despite telling ourselves we shouldn't.

"ok, no more eating after 7pm."

"ok, desmond this clock says 7:05pm; your watch says 6.57. Since your watch is more personal, we'll go by your watch," and within the next 3 mins you stuff yourself with as much food as possible.

Then you realise you can't stuff that much in 3 mins, so you start resetting your watch 10 mins back.

"okay la, since everytime at 7 you struggle to stop eating, we'll push the cut-off time to 8pm." And it never ends. (Refering to the compromising, not the snacking. Okay, maybe on some level the snacking too. )

I think once we start to compromise, it's like inching our way towards the quick sand. You're putting yourself out there. And yet knowing all that, somehow we'll still so stupid.

At least I'm so stupid.

Thank You Father God, that for all my dumbness, You're so smart.

Desmond and Desmond (The Uncle Version.)

I've resigned to the fact that I'm an Uncle. Yes, yes, Uncle Desmond... who, in the crazy non-reality of the tuition centre, is the coffee/tea/me-maker.

Uncle Desmond, who wears ah pek slippers and carries an umbrella on a really rainy day. (You know that's just good sense?!)

Uncle Desmond, who is so predictable when it comes to clothes that friends who've known him just 3 weeks can go into a shop and pick out the clothes he fancies. And yes, the clothes are 'Uncle' clothes.

Friends politely refer to them as 'Mature'. Still, they're not any more subtle than a gun-shot in the bank.

Bang bang! ("Shh, I'm robbing the bank, but I'm trying to be subtle," says the robber.)
Bang bang! ("Shh, I'm saying you're like an uncle, but i'm trying to be subtle," says the Say-er.)

Nevertheless, its been said that elderly have years of wisdom. So Uncle Desmond will now dish out some words of the wise.

#1.) When you're going overseas, no point bringing your phone unless you
have auto-roam.
#2.) Always bring your shaver. If not the "monkey-face" insults
that the kids at kindergarden used to scream at you might become too
literal.
#3.) If it's rainy, it's good sense to bring an umbrella.

This is Uncle D, Out! :)

Desmond and the Coming Through.

You know how sometimes you feel like you're in such a mess and you're waiting in vain for people to come through for you? And you wait and wait, like waiting for a bus with hopes all high BUT they never come through for you?

And then amidst all the feeling sorry for yourself, you realised that other frens came through for you while you never noticed it.

I dun need to 'realise' i've got a great God, who's given me great friends. I already know that, and can see it. He's been so gracious to me.

My misdeeds, All my greed...
All the things that haunt me now...
They're not a pretty sight to see...
But they're wiped away...
By a Mighty Mighty Wave...

- O.F, AudioA.

Help me to be grateful Father, Jesus... For all You've done for me. For coming through for me every single time, even though i couldn't always see, or understand it. And for the people you've placed in my life. Family, and friends. I love You, Jesus.

Desmond and the Vessel.

With Christ in the vessel
We can smile at the storm

-Christ in the Vessel.

Desmond and the TWEEZ!

TWEEZ!!! *show my 2 fingers on each hand*

Dun tag me, I'm not it. NO! I'm not IT!!! (Read 3 entries ago, Desmond and The It). Haha that aside, thanks Col!! Been a long time since i've done these kinda stuff. Missed them man.

*this is what you are supposed to cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things about themselves as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.*

(I have many weird things.I'm called the Weird P for good reason. Still, i'm not so sure i wanna lay out all my crazy.)

6 weird things about me:
1 I have a birthmark above my eye, and only yesterday when I was thinking about my weird antics did I finally figure out with eye it is. So all these years, when ppl ask me about it, i've always just lift up any random hand to touch it, not knowing for real which eye it is.

2 I have an OCD... the constant fear that things from different parts will contaminate other parts. Ranges from, not daring to sit anywhere in the house in a pants i wore out to the coffeeshop, to not using my 'office pen' on my 'home stuff'.

3 I tag songs with ppl. Cos they were ard, or heard they same song together with me, when i first heard it. Col is - Glory Come Down by CFNI. EssyF - Everything to Me by Avalon, Joel probly - "darkness and gloom filled the earth." and so on so forth. All got reason one.

4 I dun play soccer/comp games. Nuff' said.

5 I get cranky when I'm tired, and squashed with inconsiderate ppl (just inconsiderate ones) who take public transport. And in my head, I'm scolding pp for pushing and not moving in. But nonthing comes out verbally.

6 I killed a cockroach that day. Baby one la, but still. Weird huh, considering I hate cockroaches. and am totally freaked.

the 6 people areeeeeeeeeeee......
1.) Hannah
2.) John
3.) Gabe
4.) Elizabeth
5.) Rachel
6.) Col. Since you took all the pp who blog. and you think 6 is too easy! haha.. No la, can't think of a 6th.

TAG People, YOU'RE IT!!!

Desmond and the Spilled Water.

A few days back, as I was topping up a container with water, I spilled it, pouring it all over the floor, cabinets, under the table mats, and myself and blah blah...

Even tho it was just water, and I definitely would have known how to deal with it, all I could muster was a, "what just happened?!" in my mind. Then I stared at the mess for awhile, before I calmly walked out of the kitchen and said to my mom, "I spilled the water. How?"

Seriously, I know how to clean up the mess. Yet somehow, I couldn't do anything.

Sometimes, it's just the way it is. All our intellect and wit will fail us, sometimes even with the things we know so well. And it's not wrong to not know how to deal with the simplest things. Cos real people can tire, real people can be helpless, and real people can be overwhelmed.

And that's what God is there for. He's there for us. To make up for our weaknesses. To complete us.

I could have done so many other things, rather than call on my mom. I could have cried. I mean, while they have a saying about spilled milk, the thing I spilled was water. There's no saying about that. (HAHA.)

Anyways, God is good, isn't He. :)

Desmond and the Soccer Route.

Here's a little tidbibt: To reach my house, I have to walk past a basketball court, where kids/students/grown adults play soccer. We don't have no soccer court you see.

Anyways, I hate walking down that path beside the court, cos there's no fencing on that side of the court. And it's sorta a neighbourhood thing, that if a soccer ball flies out of the court, and onto the path, the guy on the path will get the ball for the players.

It's unspoken, and everyone abides by it... mainly becos, the entire court, and their spectator buddies will first look at the ball, then at you. Which is really no pressure at all for you to get the ball.

Here's the thing. If you know me, I have no ball sense whatsoever. There's a reason why people fall off laughing when i say I watched a soccer match, or played soccer.

Hold on to your seats as go on.

Now, the last time i played soccer was last year. (yes, yes, if you haven't fallen off, you may let go of your seats. If you have fallen, well... get up.)

The last time I played, I happened to do what is known as a Slide.

Anyways, a few things were happening in that split second.
a.) me being stunned, knowing that I have done something that was stun-worthy.
b.) my friends being stunned. knowing that I have made a slide, that was stun-worthy .
c.) and that slide being the first by anyone in 3 games.

And amidst all the confusion, I heard my friend say, "I'm sure he didn't mean to do that."

He was right.

I merely tripped over myself, and happened to fall so nicely it looked like i was sliding, and it happened that the ball was where I was sliding towards.

So then, knowing that this kinda things happen rarely, I don't expect to be sliding the next (hundred) soccer balls that come flying out of the court and towards me when I walk home in the near future.

That's why I rush by that route.

Haha, such a long story just to say that.
Haha whatever.

Desmond and The It.

I hate clowns. Seriously, I think clowns are freaky... and I'm sure at least one person out there agrees with me.

Recently I started thinking about this show that my sister thinks, started my fear of clowns. (Btw that's called Coulrophobia.)

I never get why this X-phobia names have nothing to do with X. Like coulrophobia. You would think it means fear of couldrons. WOH KAY. Sidetrack.

Anyways, this show was The It. I thought about my memories of it, and compared it to what I read on wiki. Turns out what they say about, making your memories by adding and removing things each time you replay it in your mind, is true.

Ok here's my version:
The It is a clown that these children fight off in a cave. Somehow, there's a giant spider in it all also.

Real version:
The It is a clown that these adults (who supposedly killed it, when they were children) fight off in the sewers. Somehow, it's true form is a spider.

ANYWAYS, yea. Freaked me out. My sis says I was so afraid (and still am) of them that when she brought me to see a clown when i was a kid, I screamed upon seeing them, and ran off. Needless to say, her phobia is screaming siblings who run away when they're under her care.

Just how much do I hate clowns? Well you know those Ronald McDonald benches? Well, I'll pass. He still freaks me out. I hate Mcdonald birthday parties.

Still, the couldron-phobia thingy aside, I would love to catch the show with my sis again. Haha, yea, i'm kinda psycho like that.

Hmm... Psycho huh. Now isn't that the name of that film................

Desmond and Chinese New Year 07'

Chinese New Year is here again.

Here's what comes along with it:
1. Sickening wang wang advertisements, that repeat themselves like a migraine that refuses to leave. (haha, but i haven't seen much this year at all, maybe cos i'm watching more cable, and less local stations. Smart move desmond. HAHA.)

2. Pineapple tarts. Yay!

3. F&N Orange. The only other time you drink Orange is well, at a chinese wedding dinner, where you raise the glass of orange admist the stout and beer, in toasts of "yam seng".

4. Relatives who say you've grown to be such a BIG boy, becos last year, you were only 7mm tall.

5. Pineapple tarts (The Restock), cos you ate so many your mom had to bake/buy them again.

6. Holiday specials on TV, which you dun watch cos, well... you've got cable now. Haha..

And of cos, red packets. Haha, oh boy. chinesenewyear. chine sen ewy ear. chi nes enew ye ar.