The relaxed entry

I'm so relaxed now. Not enough energy to be hyper or to do anything else, but just enough to sit, type, watch tv, sing oldies!! Enough to think about stuff. I'm like actualy dying to talk to someone now. Okay, maybe not talk because i can't really do that. Maybe just hang out.. No one online. Strange.

Okay, i'm just gonna say whatever i want at random. Today did sound for prayer. Haha, ok fine, i was just listening to the walkie and relaying msg/ rebutts/ defensive remarks. Haha.. and I can't relay stories for nuts, so the effect was all lost when i relayed the msges.

-lays head back down, on chair. Lift hands and pray. haha, ok no. Just laying my head back down.-

Just realised after i typed tt sentence, has been like almost 45 min or so before i start typing again. I'm tired man. I dun want to continue. Okay, well, i actually typed one whole paragraph, but i backspaced it. My mind's a total blank man. I'm really too sleepy i think. I'm going.

Nite ppl. Our God is good.

HAHAHA, my dad just said going out to get some supper. I'm awake again. Okay, I'm sorry.. week of prayer and fasting. But I didn't eat breakfast and lunch. And almost forgot dinner. =( "hahaa.. don't justify yourself desmonde." I wonder what I'll get. I'll go nap for about 15 min first.

I love you guys.

Pray, get on thy knees for thy fellow brethren whose earthen vessels are inflicted. Hahaha.. What nonsense!! No wonder!! Look at the time ppl, 11.05! My 11pm syndrom is up again! Haha, I mean to say, Pray for ppl ard who are sick. Among these are, alphabetical order, " Elvin, Eric (He's really poofed out la..), Esthers, Joash, Jonathan and somemore others.. Flu's in the air.. drink lots of water. Who do you guys think you are? Me?? hahaahha..

Yup.. end here, real relaxed right? Just telling you about everything and nothing.. :)

Be Blessed! Thank You God.

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11.35pm -- Its mee goreng!! with lots of potato!! hahah.. yup. okay.. gonna go sleep after tt.. pray i dun grow fat. haha.. nite again ppl!

The childcare centre entry.

I trod along the path; I had just gotten off the bus (service number 334). I was returning from morning prayer and breakfast, and was carrying a big bulky box, when i suddenly wondered. A thought just popped out of no where. Who loves?

I had nearly thought there was none who loved. Just then I passed by the childcare centre at the end of the short pathway.

--- enough of essay style writing. i can't do it well. ---

Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible Tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong

Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so

Yes. That's what i heard. Sung by children. Sung at such a timely moment, when i happened to be questioning. God is so good. And He uses the funniest things to get His point across. How true that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. AND that, that is so reassuring. He's not going to make a mistake.

Yup. His grace is sufficient for us. His cup overflows!! woohoo!!

Can't wait for edge. Can't wait to see how God does His thing again..

The messed entry.

Wah dey. I really feel like i messed up man. Sighs, my God is a God of second chances is He not?

I just finished showering. Smell nice, feel nice, am nice! Haha, and i was just thinking of some of the comments i heard bout me. Just heard one today. Haha, a normal one for me, as in, its been said of and to me before. And yep, you're right. I don't understand when its said, even tho I understand why its said of me. Its almost as if, i know why I'm 'described' that way, but i don't expect to be called that.

Hmmm..

Then i thought of some nicer comments. And I smiled to myself;" Yea right.Like why did they say what they did?" I have no idea why that was said. But i rmbed there and then, something someone once told me. "You don't have to understand why God loves you, you just have to know.". Guess its the same thing huh? Cos they see what you CAN be, rather than what you are now. That's how God sees us. This was also mentioned in one of the evening srvcs. I thought. And smiled to myself. How true. He has loved you with an everlasting Love.

God is good. Thank God for God. Haven't said that in a long while man.

Have we forgotten the simple things, like just thanking Him for simple stuff? The air that we breathe, the grace He gives us that we can live for the next moment? Nice to think of His goodness for simple things like these. Cos it makes you realise that He is really God. And He has all right to zap you up right now. But He chooses to let you live another moment, and another moment, and another moment. and another second, and another mili second and it goes on. He makes the decision every moment to let us live for the next; all becos He has a good plan for us. An unmatchable plan.

Boy, He is good.

More than the air I breathe
More than song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I will be by Your side
Cos I never want to go back
To my old life

Cos I never want to go back to... my old life.

Thank You Lord.

The Synergized Entry.

Yep, I'm back from conference. Nice, conference was nice. Think the main focus i gathered from the Planet Shakers band was to be free in worship.

This is getting boring huh? Yup, I'll say whatever happened these few days that had deep impacts on me.

My fun-nest moment?? Guess it'll have to be helping to sell the t-shirts. Haha, i was there buying shirts for some of the guys, and i stood beside the table, happened to be, i knew the lady at the counter (for less than 15 min from that time). And i have no idea up till now why ppl started asking me what size was this, any other cuts. I told them,"Huh, erm.. this is.. erm..*compares with another shirt*.. the .. erm.. bigger one!! And erm, i'm not from the stall..*sheepish smile*." Haha, and they're like so taken back, "Ohh.. erm.. sorry.."

Guess maybe God wanted me to help her. The stall really had alot of ppl everywhere. As in asking questions from everywhere of the table, which wasn't very big anyway, like 4 CCK sanctuary chairs. I took one half of the table and she took the other half. And i got her to tell me what size is what size. Then after that, i morphed into Salesman Desmond! "Yes yes, this is the largest we have, haha, im sorry.. but it fits you fine lar!! Dun need so big.." or "Yep, this is the smallest, but if you want, we have a ladies cut (the baby cut) but that has only one size, M. That's pretty small.. so can fit you one lar! What's the difference you say? Oh, the sleeves are cut yea.. " and after all that," Okay, thank you thank you, that'll be 20 bucks. *wide smile* "

And after the exicitement and all, I was just like looking at the lady (Whose name i also dunno!!!!!!!!) and like smiling tiredly, and she's like," Thank You desmond, ohh you wanted shirts right?" And then i went yah.. She starts laughing and says," Yea, haha.. after you asked for the 8 thousand time." Haha.. yea. It was then i realised my intention there was to get elvin, jerome's and sam's shirts. Haha, i knew sam and jerome wanted M, cos at least joel didn't reply me to tell me they had complains when i asked him. But elvin.. yea.. the one i had no idea what to get. Cos S and M didn't seem to have much diff. And angel ruixiong and weiling were like.. M. But i was wondering becos i always wear same size as him, and i got S. So we were wondering, and then the lady, she found this weird shirt that was slightly smaller than M, but bigger than S and i got it for him! God really blessed, hope it fits well elvin!!

The lady was like, "See? becos you wanted to bless others, God blessed you!" I laughed.. haha, when we were buying our own shirts, an hour before i helped sell, the guy selling asked what region of VFC we were from. I said, "Erm.. the best?" and the lady was there, and she asked angel if i was the cutest (as in silly) guy in the region. Haha, i was very happy naturally. Becos, when you try to be crappy and no one laughs its quite demoralising. hahaha.. esp since its from some nice lady, its better! To think i knew her from helping her usher in ppl on mon night as i was waiting for someone.. hahah.

Yep, said so much. Only one part of the conference. But it really picked me up.. the going crazy selling the shirts, perspiring, (not to mention being beside some good looking lady whose name and church i not know of!!!) and running ard getting this and that for him and her and them. I was pretty much feeling weird thruout the conference and selling the shirts was sort of God's way of saying," Hey, I'm still your Daddy you know, I can still make things happen for you!" He made me glad, without me having to ask. And i was so supremely happy selling the stuff. (becos the lady was nice and warm and pretty? )haha.. More than that, nice to see the smile on ppl's faces when they get the shirts. And being crappy and crazy, knowing that all you did was unto God.

Planet shakers was good, the jumps were good, the claps were good, the dances were fun, NOPE, NOT those by the pink hair and his fren. Thise were silly. The Jesus Cheer was so fun! Yep, and God speaks and shows, like stuff that is what the Evans guy sees and hears. Fun..

Bottom line is God rocks, His children have liberty in Him, have everything.. and more than that, the victory in Him!!
Amen. Thank You God. ( help me find the lady again please God..) *smile*

The Weepy Entry

I just heard a song. And Its a weepy song. Haha, Remember Missin' You? Yup. I found it's cousin song. Hahah.. a song that has the capacity of making me cry that badly.And i mean badly. Thank God no one was home then. Haha.. what is it you ask? I'm not saying. Get those brain juices going!! I'll drop hints. So fun so fun. Haha..

Yesterday was cold weather day. So supremely cold! So i woke up this morning, my fingers numb and cold. Haha, i slept with the fan on last night!! Haha.. What has it got to do with the song you ask? Well, Nothing much, just had to say something about the day being cold, since everyone else is doing it.

Yesterday, they were askin for help encounter this sat. I rmb the last time i helped in encounter, Gp. I rmb when i did it,it was only the 5th or 6th time i did Gp, and it was the best i ever did. Honestly, none of my other Gp-ings could be compared to that time i did it. It was for the single men, Elvin was leading, Bro Mohan shared. Ok.. that was morning. After that at the combined men session (married and single ya??), i wasn't on duty. So i just sat quietly outside. And when i went in to take a peek, immediately i rushed out. Hey, you would too if you saw a whole room of men crying. And mind you, I cry more easily than all of them. So to save myself from crying, natural thing to do is come out lah.

That's the first clue.
I'll give you 2 clues at a time.

Crying men at the encounter. Why? Becos bro andrew was telling of Jesus's walk to the cross. That passage to death. Man, gives me goosebumps.

That measure of love. Nothing would stop Him from dying. Even if it was that scary. Bet you His fingers were numb and cold. Bet you he was trembling. Bet you He never once stopped praying and talking to God. Bet you He felt lonely and cold, yet His face was burning from all the stares and the laughter and the mocking.

Why did He do it then? For the lost? The dying?

For you.

Even if its was only you whom He could save, He would have continued on. No. I'm not speaking to some unsaved person here. Sure He died for them. But I'm speaking to the saved, the ones called Children of the Almighty. The ones who constantly forget His great love becos we are so accustomed to it.

No more game. I'll give you the song.

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my Dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
You said He was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow He knew things would get stormy
Boy was He right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something He had to hide

So after He left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

-Why?
Nichole Nordeman.

Hah, cried again. I keep forgetting that great Love. I keep looking towards myself and see the failures and the nonsense and unworthiness in me. Do we forget that great Love has conquered all? Why then are we living in our own worlds as if the whole world owes us? That God owes us? Don't you think it hurts Him? I'm guilty of all that. We owe Him. Not the other way around.

Nice song.. very weepy.. =)

The new-template entry

Hmmm.. Got a new template. Hahaha.. i did like major changes to it loh. Hah.. i'm mean. Just can't get rid of the silly {fellowship} stuff. It doesn't flow with my blog. AT ALL. Hahah.. arh.. leave it first. Hahah. Man.. really tough looking at the html codes and stuff. Had to employ my specs lor, to save me from the blurness. Hahaha.. everything is about me. Hahah.. well... read on if you want. If not.. just read on. hahah

Today i watched this korean drama. Now now, I am not a big fan of such stuff, especially soapy cry-yee korean dramas, but this part totally tickled me. Heh, the elder brother was talking to his younger brother [ da zhong] about how he wanted to keep his illness a secret from the rest of the family. So the older brother is saying, " I don't want to tell them becos i dun want a whole family crying. I can't do anything with a family that's crying ridiculously. So you mustn't tell them, you get me?" And the camera zooms back to Da zhong.. who is crying uncontrollably by that time. So much for, don't tell them becos i fear they would cry.

Why was I tickled you ask? Of cos its not only becos of that. I was laughing my head off becos it just reminded me of me. Hah.. its like elvin's talking to me and before he can finish his sentence, I'm crying buckets and swimming pools of water.. WITH extra chemicals.. known in lay-man terms as mucus. I tell you, i was like," Yea Da Zhong.. cry it all out. Hahah.. i know how it feels to keep sniffing though the mucus jsut rebelliously comes down in the end.". Then i turn to the elder brother and say, " Do da ges' fear crying siao dis'?"

Anyways, that was pretty much the funny part of my life today. Hahha.. nah lah.. just that when i saw this scene, i just knew within the depths of my soul and spirit that i need to blog it down. Hahhaha.. yup, nothing spiritual about it. But once again.. tho its utterly cliche in my blog, THANK GOD for da ges who can stand weepy sobby cry-yee siao dis... hahah.. like yours truly.

God stinking rules. The way He meets you in your most desperate moments just blows my mind. How? I don't know. He rules. He does. Man.. He's totally in love with you. NUTS about you. ARGH! hahaha.. so wonderful... yep.. He's there when you cry, when you laugh, when you fall, when you rise, when you push Him away, when you call out to Him... He's always there. Don't ask me how.. I never know. But I'm always awed. My God is an awesome God..

The nut entry

Lah Lah Lah!!! What's this blogger world without THE blogger?? Hahaha.. going to watch big fish later!! Hope we catch a BIG fish. Was hoping my net members come and the other nets too.. so we can catch the movie together. Get it? NETS? CATCH the movie together? BIG FISH? Haha, man, I'm good.

Okay. if you didn't get it, either I'm too good OR.. I'm too good. If you did, well done!! Give yourself a pat on your back!!

[Haha, been stuck at this line for like so long now.]

Okay, back. Hmm.. mushroom swiss!! Turkey Bacon!!! Awww... man. Can't wait to eat. BK. Love it like anything man. Just give it to me. Give me some BK VIP card. ARGH!!!! BK!!

I was reminded of the past events that happened. God's words, His visions. Have we forgotten?? Were we too consumed in ourselves that we 'conviniently' leave Him out of the picture? I don't know. I was reminded of one thing also. The 10000000000000000 BK meals that some guy owes me. No exclamtion mark. Hahah.. yea right.. !!!!!!!!!!!

Man.. fun looking back sometimes to just see what God has done. Over the months and years. Its so exciting. Whoever said christians are a boring bunch of ppl. Man.. have they no sense of the CRAZY-NESS of our God? Hahaha.. wacko.. crazy.. OUT OF THIS WORLD!! Yet.. terribly sane. Hmmm..

[ARGH!! I can't see properly!! Going to get my geeky nerdy specs]

It's worst!!! Now its too clear.. man.. giving me headache.

Okay. Took it off.. hahaha.. BK BK BK!!!! hahah.. craving's here again!!! Hahahah.. argh argh argh!! Hahah.. when we give stuff up, there's this certain strength that comes. Think about when we give it up.. but to God, what kind of strength comes. His JOY. His strength. HIS. HIS. PPL? HIS!! Get it? HIS? It's the Almighty's. It's the God of all creation's. It's the Lord's strength, joy, peace, love, warmth, fun that we get in exchange for the things that suposedly stain our life.

Like where do you a better extra value meal? MAN!!! Like.. i'm just disgusted by BK now lor. Why don't they give such good deals like the Master Chef ( God.. like duh?) does? takes your nonsense.. and gives you good stuff for it. The Menu (the bible like duh?) even says He gives us free BK's (Beautfiful King's) very own clothes and oil!! Like garments of praise and oil of joy!! MAN!!! where to get lor!! now i tink burger king stinks. [REF: Isaiah 61:3]

Haha.. okay.. going for Burger King now. Hahah. Nah.. i still love burger king.. In fact. I'm going to link it. Hahaha..
Here goes: Burger King .

God rules. He does!! YEAH!!!!!

The I'm back entry.

I'm back. As in real entries after 2 weeks. That's short. Missed blogging? Abit, why else am i here? How can one ever shut his mouth and deny it from speaking the greatness of that One without feeling bad? That beautiful, majestic, personal One. I don't know how.

Ever felt as though you've failed God? Failed ppl? Failed everyone and yourself? Ever felt like a big fat failure? Ever felt so insignificant? Ever felt so forgotten? Ever felt like there's so many ppl there but still no one's there?

Ever felt like you have so much to say but can never say it? Ever felt if God forgot you? Ever felt if you disappointed person after person whom you love so much? Ever felt as though you let God down?

Ever felt so lost and frustrated with why things happen and why they don't? Ever felt like you want to draw close but ppl pull away? Ever felt so rejected that you give up? Ever felt like you stink? Ever felt so fake; as though you're not who you seem? Ever felt like you've lost the battle--defeated?

Ever felt so shameful that you screwed up? Ever felt as though you want to just let the tears come freely down without holding it back... if only you weren't so tired or had to be 'strong'?

Ever felt that you stumbled and fell?

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling...

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

I hear you whispering my name you say
My love for you will never change never change..

-DC talk
What if I stumbled

That's it. He never said you couldn't cry. He said "Come to Me." The Love still continues. The grace still continues. the walk still continues.
Amen.