WOAH. God is Good.

Youth camp. Evryone is updating.. it'll be malu-ing if the blogger freak doesn't update too.

It was awesome.. I know God moved. Throughout everynite-everyday-every session.I don't know where to begin.

I went camp with a really really despo enthu heart. Its one of the first youth camps that i looked forward to. I expected so much.. i prayed for everyone and myself.. Just kept praying for God to move. No credit to me.. but God did move. So many of us can testify.

For me.. camp was okay. I had great team members-- not too wild, but enthu enough. I had duties.. 3. None of which were carried out completely. Although all of which i worried for.

This camp..if i dare to say.. was one of the most testing and breaking camp i've had.
And also the best.I didn't get a break thru as i expected in camp. No big revelation.. heard a voice which i don't even know if its God. Funnily the Bible says, "His sheep know His voice...."

But i knew God moved. I saw it. Thru others.. thru how every session took place... especially the last night. And thru Joel.. like my dai kor says.

This camp.. again God made me feel stuff bout others.. I duno if its God lah.. maybe its just me.. but.. there was one sessin i prayed for someone.. and i just felt his pain and hurting.. and i was crying.. I dunno if its him or me.. but i really didn't have a need to cry lah.. not at tt point at least. Just like the previous camp where i only heard for others.. not for me.

But i was sooo bitter when i went to the previous camp.. and i got my break thru at the last day. This year's camp.. i went with such an expectant heart.. But up till the last session.. I didn't.I felt so lost. Somehow i would miss part of the sessions or miss out on this or that.. till the point i was so fustrated. I just forced myself to try to focus.. to try not to say negative things.. to work myself like mad so i wouldn't have to think of why God seemed to skip me again.

I wanted to ask ppl to pray for me.. but.. then i realised if i did.. then i would be looking to man. Not God. I didn't go with baggages.. but i took up some as camp went on. ARGHHHHH!!!! But God still has everything in His hands. I thank God for making elvin so busy. Not tt I want him to be so busy.. but rather.. Becoz he was sooo busy.. He didn't have time to talk with me.. and i had no choice but to run directly to God. God is good isn't it?

I did so many stooopid things.

I did get part of my confirmation though. I really don't know how to say... there's just sooooo much. I guess i should say.. I saw God move in others.. maybe at times He used me to facilitate His moving in others.. But somehow.. PERSONAlly..for me personally..like not much.

Thruout the camp.. i didn't knwo to laugh or cry.. I mean.. it was like i was stille xpectant tt God would do the same thing as He did for me the prev camp.. make me kan chiong until the last session till He blows my mind away. But this camp He didn't.

I got part of my confirmatn as i said-- its something tt i didn't really expect.
I was crazy for God-- Coz i know He rules.

Okay.. i know Im being v negative here.. but seriously.. camp was good.. in every aspect.. games.sessions.

But it was really difficult for me.The last session i took out my name tag card (with the words camp committee printed in red on it, strangely) and just slotted in my bible-- randomly.. It was already the last session, prize giving.

Then we went back... i felt partly filled.And i was contemplating going to esther house.. which in the end i did.

Cut the story short... When esther and esther were not jacuzzing.. and joel was reading his prize for the best dressed. SUDDENLY.. as in literally SUDDENLY I rmbed my namecard and the slot.. so I decided I would read.. half hoping it would speak to me. And it was about Daniel and the messenger and the prince of persia that one.. (Dan Chap 1o.)

That immediately spoke to me about persisting. And at tt pt of time i was also brought back to during the camp when God reminded me about the persisting woman with the issue of blood. And somehow.. i still don't know.. but i guess.. God's training me to be patient.. to be silent.. and also somehow confirms wad i asked.

Abit confusing i know.. hahaha.. sorry.. But.. ask me in person pls. Easier to explain the goodness of God in this camp.. though in a way that is so different from the others. Anyone.. have anythign to say please leave notes.. coz Im still open and expecting that thru persisting.. Thru the grace of God.. Thru His love.. I will get wad i wanted--- Direction and confirmation.

AMEN.