The Free-entry Entry.

Yea, the time is now 3.13am. I have sch tmr. Even tho its the holidays, till 5. From 8.3o to 5. Sighz.. sch stinks. Big time.

Anyways, was doing my project work minutes, and well, let's just say i ain't no good secretary, that's why i'm having quite abit of trouble. Due tmr somemore. Trying to bargain for thur. Yah, so i decided to stop. And decided that I have a blog. And decided that i haven't blogged freely in awhile. Freely as in, just blogging whatever silly things, like.. haha, there's a vanilla coke bottle on my table now, with lemonade in it. Or that I'm wearing the 'Potter's Hand' camp shirt, and its really tight and small.

Ya, I've been thinking lots recently. Maybe because I've got so much to do, whenever you just stop for awhile, alot of things come to you. Ya.. Looked back on this past bout what, 13 months? And realised God has been gracious and I have been straying.

You know, encounter is coming. I went for the march one last year. Even tho i had horrible sleep and was so resistant to it at first, God used it to turn my life upside down. Crazy. Nuts. To something that when i look at it, i dare not believe. Literally like being given a new life, a new identity and living it.

Of cos I've fell, and at times i went back to that old life. Possibly even now. And sometimes, I feel so sad and crappy. Because the same things that i begged God to take away from me, I have taken it back. Knowingly, unknowingly. Doesn't matter. Cos the thing is I did.

One thing i'm really scared of, is that my past and old life will chase after me. The scary things, the hurting things that have hurt me so. I'm afraid they will catch up with me. And I'm afraid they will steal my present. The people and relationships i have come to develop on the past 13 months. The freedom i have. The joy that i have.

But truth be told, it seems to be coming back me. And I'm so afraid. So afraid. Cos its starting to rob me of some things. My sanity maybe? Heh, joke. And its not that my old life was entirely bad. Some parts of it was and is good. But just that right now, they don't fit in.

Listening to an awesome song.

The mistakes I’ve made
That caused pain
I could’ve done without
All my selfish thoughts
All my pride
The things I hide
You have forgot about

They’re all behind you
They’ll never find you
They’re on the ocean floor
Your sins are forgotten
They’re on the bottom
Of the ocean floor

My misdeeds
All my greed
All the things that haunt me now
They’re not a pretty sight to see
But they’re wiped away
By a mighty, mighty wave
A mighty, mighty wave

Your sins are erased
And they are no more
They’re out on the ocean floor

Take them away
To return no more
Take them away
To the ocean floor
To the ocean floor
To the ocean floor

-- Audio A. Ocean Floor.

I was talking to God just now. Just like, reviewing my past 13 months, and the years before that. From 99'. And i was saying, like, if my old life walked back in. I would prefer my new life. Sure, my old life had things that i loved and was good. And God would have been happy for me too. But this new life, has so much more things that i love so much more. The freedom.. etc. And God would definitely be more happy for me in my new life. Becos He handpicked these stuff and gave them to me. I'm holding on to them man. They're so much better.

Okay. Alot more to say. Wait till i stay up late again then i will get into the mood of saying. Nite.. at 3.44. hahah..