The Argh! I don't bother bout anything now entry.

haha.. you know why i can't be bothered? Becos american idol's on tv. Hahhahah... tel you, its so commical. Wah seh.. Okay lah.. I've not a very good voice myself, but sighz.. oh well. Hahah.. since i dun have a good voice.. shall cease my commenting. Hahahha.. arh.. wadeva. If sharon joined.. I tell you.. man..

Anyways, today I visited my grandpa. For the first time i looked him very closely in the eye. I love my grandpa alot. Always wanted to put my arm over his shoulder kind of thing. Tho i can't speak teo chew and he can't speak mandarin ( well.. not that i can speak mandarin much anyways..) somehow i still feel close to him. Sighz.. its a kind of closeness that I long for with some ppl. Its like.. for that one time.. He felt like the closest person after God. I don't know. Now that I'm typing this, i don't know but, man.. i wished i was by his side right now.

All the closeness i've been longing for from other ppl. All the longing to be close with them. To know what they are thinking. To be counted as their good fren. All of it suddenly seemed to be re-focused onto my grand dad. I want my grand dad!!! No. I want my heavenly daddy!! (re-focused again. Fickle yes.. hey.. i still want to be clsoe to my ah gong and all those ppl okay?!)

You know, have you ever missed God? I have. Alot. Like now too. But.. In His word its said He will never leave us nor forsake us. So why then do we miss Him? I guess sometimes its becos we just detach ourselves from Him. He's like there beside us, but.. we're just focused on other things, that we say.. "geeze.. man i miss You.".. It's not wrong.. just that.. Well.. this song is the song that totally got my crying thing started. I geu this is a kind of missing that makes sense.. because its a longing to have God physically close to You. Arh.. wadeva.. i'm not really making sense.

Cos somewhere behind stars
Is Someone who belongs to me
And I know in my deepest heart
There's a place for You
Until I find the place You've made for me
But still I'm missin You..

Amen. God, I miss those ppl more than I miss You, becos their not here with me. Unlike You. You're right here with me. And right now.. i can't be bothered whether they are near me or far from me. It just doesn't matter anymore. I've found You. I'm satisfied. But I want more. I want to hug You. Tight. =)