The One about..........

I dun really have anyting to blog about today. Its jus that its 12 on the last day of the year, Its a lazy afternoon feeling, and I really want to blog.

Well, the previous post was super emo la, when i wrote it. Haha, just had accusations thrown at me by some pp when i was writing it. And you should know I hate to be accused. I cry when i get accused. Yes. I realised the other day that crying is not just when you are sad, or happy. I know this girl who cries only when she's angry. I'm similar (sort of remotely la) -- i cry when i'm frustrated, angry (with myself, or others, or situations), and when I'm accused. Of cos I cry too when i watch sad movies, like I am Sam (haha, inside jk)..

Actually I just cry whenever and where ever la.

The act of my crying aside, I'm an escapist. Someone once said that of me. When conflict comes my way, I run away from it. I'd rather run, than have conflict. I'm a Conflict-avoiding, Escapist. Capital E.

That's prob why I throw myself into tv, sometimes books(the sheer irony considering i hate reading), packing my room and doodling. Into my escapist desires to break free and soar far far far away. Simply just to be separated from reality. Falsely believing that perhaps a while spent away from Desmond's Reality, and in Desmond's Fantasy, that some unknown force might resolve a misunderstanding, or mend a broken heart.

Temporal Respite. But in the end, there's still a deep longing, and desire that can't be filled.

The only 'fantasy' that feeds the longing, is the fantasy-reality of Heaven. Of being back with Him. One day. Never being apart.

'Cause somewhere behind those stars
Is Someone who belongs to me
And I know in my deepest heart
There's a place for You until I find the place You made for me
-chris rice

People are drawn to love, and promises of love, and displays of love. Cos true love comes from God. And ppl are drawn to anything that puts a face, however remotely, to the Master of Love.

I wish You could stay
But I'll wait for the day
And though You've gone away
You come back and I'll....
Be Remembering You
-steven curtis chapman