For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a wittness in the silences
Where words are not enough
With every breath I take
I'll give thanks to God above
For as i long i shall
I will testify to love
Nice. Went for morning prayer again today. i think the dynamics of morning prayer is expanding.. with the many ppl coming. For me, its esp the youth that touches my heart. Truely the whole atmosphere changes when a group of passionate youths come before God.
Really think I'm getting blur-er. Like how arh? ARGHHHHHH..
Thinking back on this morning.. its pretty cool how God shows up. How? How? How?
Because He is. Because He is. Because He is the great I AM.
Raging. Sweeping. Tempest. Rushing. Towering. Overpowering. Mist. Clouded. Twirling. Kneeling. Crying. Looking.
He is the great I AM. I don't know how. I don't know why. But He IS the great I AM.
Amen.
---
Was reading some of my guestbook entries just. Who is the FRIEND.. I want to know who you are. I do want to. =)
who is me? Unless you tell me i wouldn't know who you are.
Wednesday, 31 December 2003
Tuesday, 30 December 2003
His name is exalted, far above the earth
His name is high above the heavens
His name is exalted, far above the earth
Give glory and honor and praise
Unto His name
No other name but the name of Jesus
No other name but the name of the Lord
No other name but the name of Jesus
Is worthy of glory and worthy of honor
And worthy of power and all praise
Went morning prayer today. Woke up pretty early.. by the grace of God. Haha.. today my prayer focus like totally changed. Actually, going to morning prayer.. i don't really know what to pray for. But i love to go. And God always bring stuff back to me to pray for.
Today.. i prayed for people. As in just pray for them loh.. never go to them. And i totally like just lie on the floor with my hands behind my hand kinda thing.. and talked to God. Feels good.
God is good amen? We went for breakfast at Bukit Timah.. beside my old school!! The food there is just excellent. Uncle Boyle just kept stuffing food down our throats. Hahah.. the adults all think we should eat more then what we are eating now. I eat until my stomach expanded. Hopefully will revert.
Been seeing God's providence.. Thank You God.. Truly no other name. No other name.
Okay... so all the old songs are coming back to me. Though that da ge was commenting about how uncle george always plays old songs like," Jesus You're my firm foundation..".. I still think some old songs are really nice and if done properly.. can be really really nice.. or nicer in some cases..
A very very good example is my ultimate ou xiang---- Not elvin though.. SHIRLEY SIM!!! She is soooooooooooooo good!!
The way she did "To Him who sits on the throne, and unto the Lamb..." and "You are God, and we praise You..." was like........ HEAVENLY!!!!!
God gives us all a different talent.. And all of it helps grow his kingdom. This was what i saw this morning. I saw individuality in the sanctuary.. but it was merged as one. The sight was really nice. Individuality merged as one.. weaved as one.. forged as one. One for God. One for the kingdom. One for His glory.
Let us be one for Him..And one with Him..
Amen.
His name is high above the heavens
His name is exalted, far above the earth
Give glory and honor and praise
Unto His name
No other name but the name of Jesus
No other name but the name of the Lord
No other name but the name of Jesus
Is worthy of glory and worthy of honor
And worthy of power and all praise
Went morning prayer today. Woke up pretty early.. by the grace of God. Haha.. today my prayer focus like totally changed. Actually, going to morning prayer.. i don't really know what to pray for. But i love to go. And God always bring stuff back to me to pray for.
Today.. i prayed for people. As in just pray for them loh.. never go to them. And i totally like just lie on the floor with my hands behind my hand kinda thing.. and talked to God. Feels good.
God is good amen? We went for breakfast at Bukit Timah.. beside my old school!! The food there is just excellent. Uncle Boyle just kept stuffing food down our throats. Hahah.. the adults all think we should eat more then what we are eating now. I eat until my stomach expanded. Hopefully will revert.
Been seeing God's providence.. Thank You God.. Truly no other name. No other name.
Okay... so all the old songs are coming back to me. Though that da ge was commenting about how uncle george always plays old songs like," Jesus You're my firm foundation..".. I still think some old songs are really nice and if done properly.. can be really really nice.. or nicer in some cases..
A very very good example is my ultimate ou xiang---- Not elvin though.. SHIRLEY SIM!!! She is soooooooooooooo good!!
The way she did "To Him who sits on the throne, and unto the Lamb..." and "You are God, and we praise You..." was like........ HEAVENLY!!!!!
God gives us all a different talent.. And all of it helps grow his kingdom. This was what i saw this morning. I saw individuality in the sanctuary.. but it was merged as one. The sight was really nice. Individuality merged as one.. weaved as one.. forged as one. One for God. One for the kingdom. One for His glory.
Let us be one for Him..And one with Him..
Amen.
Sunday, 28 December 2003
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Oh blessed be the name...
And i dunno the lyrics already. Today. WOW. God blows my mind.
Okay.. I don't know where to start. Guess i should say what was the most impacting thing for me today.
It was when we had to look back at this year, during worship ministry party, and think bout wad God has done.I looked back on this year.. and i saw a real big change. It wasn't easy.. the change didn't come by easy. The tears.. the e-mails.. the painful decisions.. the embarressing choices.. the prayers.. the promises.
So much i went through. So much ppl around me went thru. One very obvious and good example is my da ge. He went thru alot of me.. before the breakthru came. my chief is another good example. She went thru alot of icq msges. Both spent alot alot alot alot of time on me.. many of these times they actually wasted their energy..
But it all paid off. I look at my life now.. and i get freaked out.. WOW. I dun even believe sometimes its me. GOD did all the planning. The 'pot' had to go thru fire to be hardened and able to use. GOD used them to change me.. Seriously.. i don't dare to believe wad i am now is me.
GOD has done so much for me.. and this year has been such a testing and exciting year.. I'm thankful. ALL GLORY TO GOD. Though there's stil alot more to go.. GOD HAS BEEN, AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE, GOOD AND GOD.
Amen.
My heart will choose to say
Oh blessed be the name...
And i dunno the lyrics already. Today. WOW. God blows my mind.
Okay.. I don't know where to start. Guess i should say what was the most impacting thing for me today.
It was when we had to look back at this year, during worship ministry party, and think bout wad God has done.I looked back on this year.. and i saw a real big change. It wasn't easy.. the change didn't come by easy. The tears.. the e-mails.. the painful decisions.. the embarressing choices.. the prayers.. the promises.
So much i went through. So much ppl around me went thru. One very obvious and good example is my da ge. He went thru alot of me.. before the breakthru came. my chief is another good example. She went thru alot of icq msges. Both spent alot alot alot alot of time on me.. many of these times they actually wasted their energy..
But it all paid off. I look at my life now.. and i get freaked out.. WOW. I dun even believe sometimes its me. GOD did all the planning. The 'pot' had to go thru fire to be hardened and able to use. GOD used them to change me.. Seriously.. i don't dare to believe wad i am now is me.
GOD has done so much for me.. and this year has been such a testing and exciting year.. I'm thankful. ALL GLORY TO GOD. Though there's stil alot more to go.. GOD HAS BEEN, AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE, GOOD AND GOD.
Amen.
Saturday, 27 December 2003
Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste, Of Glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His spirit, washed in His blood.
This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior
All the day long
This song has been in my head for like few days now.Suddenly all the old songs coming back to me.
Went for morning prayer today.. wow.. after so long.. it sure feels weird abit. More or less the ppl coming are the same.. with a few additions and a few subtractions.
Today.. I prayed for et. Nope.. not esther tan.. but east timor. Was reading her blog just and i understand what she means abit.
As i was praying.. i thought i would be praying like.. a singaporean kind of prayer.. as in.. since-i'm-not-there-anymore..I-wouldn't-be-as-moved-as-i-was-in-east-timor kind of thing. BUT i was so over taken by the feelings i got as i prayed.
Literally its like being there and praying and feeling the burden so real and its like east timor ground is under your feet and the east timor air is blowing in your face and the locals are just in front of you. The prayer was as emotional as when i was in east timor.. if not more emotional.
Definately not something i expected.
Not trying to lament again that i miss east timor.. But I'm shocked at how i could still pray so emotionally for that place despite being back for like 1 over week now. And i know its not me. Its God. Oh kay.. I also have to admit that I'm shocked at how NOT-shocked i was still being so emotional. I really have no words to describe.. don't know how to put into words.
As i prayed for timor.. once again my problems seemed so distant and small and i felt so close to timor. Like said.. i felt as though i was in east timor itself. And i understand abit bout the outward looking part. As i closed my eyes and saw east timor before me.. all my problems were......." Where art thou?? where art thou problems of the one called desmonde..?
God uses east timor to show me that my problems don't matter as much as God's work, as God's glory, as GOD does. Not our petty problems.I'm not saying they are not real.. but He's God. He solves stuff. Let God be God.
It's ALL about Him.
Amen.
Oh what a foretaste, Of Glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His spirit, washed in His blood.
This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior
All the day long
This song has been in my head for like few days now.Suddenly all the old songs coming back to me.
Went for morning prayer today.. wow.. after so long.. it sure feels weird abit. More or less the ppl coming are the same.. with a few additions and a few subtractions.
Today.. I prayed for et. Nope.. not esther tan.. but east timor. Was reading her blog just and i understand what she means abit.
As i was praying.. i thought i would be praying like.. a singaporean kind of prayer.. as in.. since-i'm-not-there-anymore..I-wouldn't-be-as-moved-as-i-was-in-east-timor kind of thing. BUT i was so over taken by the feelings i got as i prayed.
Literally its like being there and praying and feeling the burden so real and its like east timor ground is under your feet and the east timor air is blowing in your face and the locals are just in front of you. The prayer was as emotional as when i was in east timor.. if not more emotional.
Definately not something i expected.
Not trying to lament again that i miss east timor.. But I'm shocked at how i could still pray so emotionally for that place despite being back for like 1 over week now. And i know its not me. Its God. Oh kay.. I also have to admit that I'm shocked at how NOT-shocked i was still being so emotional. I really have no words to describe.. don't know how to put into words.
As i prayed for timor.. once again my problems seemed so distant and small and i felt so close to timor. Like said.. i felt as though i was in east timor itself. And i understand abit bout the outward looking part. As i closed my eyes and saw east timor before me.. all my problems were......." Where art thou?? where art thou problems of the one called desmonde..?
God uses east timor to show me that my problems don't matter as much as God's work, as God's glory, as GOD does. Not our petty problems.I'm not saying they are not real.. but He's God. He solves stuff. Let God be God.
It's ALL about Him.
Amen.
Thursday, 25 December 2003
If there's anything that 'wow's me today.. it has to be this..
anyways..Blessed Christmas!! to my dear readers.
Okay.. this is it.. Our drama.. Sharon all along was alittle stiff for her role-- the crying role. If i should even put it like that.. she was restrained.. All along. In the rehearsals and practices, she was very stiff. And you could see she was trying very very hard, but she just couldn't get it.
But today, she gave a superb performance. So much emotion that we in the props (nursery) room were so shocked. When she came in she cried, " Do you know God was with me?!?!" Crying crying crying.. And i was totally caught off guard.
"Do you know God was with me?"
WOW.To me, it was like God just took control and taught her on the spot. And i believe she must have prayed so much and she must have been so broken before Him that He took over and said, "Daughter.. I'll be in control." And at that moment, I felt that today is one day where she touched the hands of the Almighty.. and this day will be a day she will not forget.I feel she cried because she was so shocked that God could use her. The first words she said when she came in still gives me goosebumps. It was NOT " Thank God I did it well!!!!!"... BUT "Do you know God is with me!?!!?!"
"Do you know God is with me?"
I saw how sad she looked when she couldn't get it and i know she must have cried to Him, She must have cried to Him saying, " I don't know what to do, but i choose to do still because I love you. Because you loved me."
For me personally,I want to be broken before Him. I want to place my all on the altar. I want to say,"God i have not much, but what i have whether or not i know what it is, i want to give You so You can use and You will magnify it..... ALL.. for Your glory."
For all those lost, unsure, uncertain, hurting, questioning and crying ppl...
"Do you know God is with you?"
Amen.
anyways..Blessed Christmas!! to my dear readers.
Okay.. this is it.. Our drama.. Sharon all along was alittle stiff for her role-- the crying role. If i should even put it like that.. she was restrained.. All along. In the rehearsals and practices, she was very stiff. And you could see she was trying very very hard, but she just couldn't get it.
But today, she gave a superb performance. So much emotion that we in the props (nursery) room were so shocked. When she came in she cried, " Do you know God was with me?!?!" Crying crying crying.. And i was totally caught off guard.
"Do you know God was with me?"
WOW.To me, it was like God just took control and taught her on the spot. And i believe she must have prayed so much and she must have been so broken before Him that He took over and said, "Daughter.. I'll be in control." And at that moment, I felt that today is one day where she touched the hands of the Almighty.. and this day will be a day she will not forget.I feel she cried because she was so shocked that God could use her. The first words she said when she came in still gives me goosebumps. It was NOT " Thank God I did it well!!!!!"... BUT "Do you know God is with me!?!!?!"
"Do you know God is with me?"
I saw how sad she looked when she couldn't get it and i know she must have cried to Him, She must have cried to Him saying, " I don't know what to do, but i choose to do still because I love you. Because you loved me."
For me personally,I want to be broken before Him. I want to place my all on the altar. I want to say,"God i have not much, but what i have whether or not i know what it is, i want to give You so You can use and You will magnify it..... ALL.. for Your glory."
For all those lost, unsure, uncertain, hurting, questioning and crying ppl...
"Do you know God is with you?"
Amen.
Wednesday, 24 December 2003
Monday, 22 December 2003
I'm back. Since like one week ago.
Very very lazy to update.. think most of us are really burnt out from blogging.. no new entries whatsoever.. Frankly speaking.. I'm alittle too tired sometimes to go read.
Anyways, east timor was more than good. It was more than very good. It was more than that too..
I miss east timor. Dreadfully. But of coz the times here in sg were exciting for some of our friends as well. Really glad that the youths are so excited... man.. never seen them like this before.
Can a nation be moved?
Can a nation be saved?
Can a nation be turned back to You?
Can it be turned, back to You?
Haha.. Im sorry. I'm just like.. trying to relive the times in east timor. The prayers at the Jesus Statue.. so many other times.. the times we were having fun..(beach), the times we slogged (fun fair).. the times we just lazed around. Our debrief times.. Our lazing around times, Our journaling times, our washing up times. The times we were just playing around. Our times.
Think God gave out his instructions out there.. all anew and afresh. I'm still expecting. Expecting Him move however He did there, here... and better..
I'm expecting, excited.. and expecting here does NOT mean pregnant!! Unless you mean with a whole new passion and expectancy of God..
East Timor......... Be blessed, Be loved.
Team mates...... I love you guys.. alot alot alot.
God................... Don't ever think I'm done with You or vice versa. I need You soooo much..breath on me.
Very very lazy to update.. think most of us are really burnt out from blogging.. no new entries whatsoever.. Frankly speaking.. I'm alittle too tired sometimes to go read.
Anyways, east timor was more than good. It was more than very good. It was more than that too..
I miss east timor. Dreadfully. But of coz the times here in sg were exciting for some of our friends as well. Really glad that the youths are so excited... man.. never seen them like this before.
Can a nation be moved?
Can a nation be saved?
Can a nation be turned back to You?
Can it be turned, back to You?
Haha.. Im sorry. I'm just like.. trying to relive the times in east timor. The prayers at the Jesus Statue.. so many other times.. the times we were having fun..(beach), the times we slogged (fun fair).. the times we just lazed around. Our debrief times.. Our lazing around times, Our journaling times, our washing up times. The times we were just playing around. Our times.
Think God gave out his instructions out there.. all anew and afresh. I'm still expecting. Expecting Him move however He did there, here... and better..
I'm expecting, excited.. and expecting here does NOT mean pregnant!! Unless you mean with a whole new passion and expectancy of God..
East Timor......... Be blessed, Be loved.
Team mates...... I love you guys.. alot alot alot.
God................... Don't ever think I'm done with You or vice versa. I need You soooo much..breath on me.
Monday, 1 December 2003
WOAH. God is Good.
Youth camp. Evryone is updating.. it'll be malu-ing if the blogger freak doesn't update too.
It was awesome.. I know God moved. Throughout everynite-everyday-every session.I don't know where to begin.
I went camp with a really really despo enthu heart. Its one of the first youth camps that i looked forward to. I expected so much.. i prayed for everyone and myself.. Just kept praying for God to move. No credit to me.. but God did move. So many of us can testify.
For me.. camp was okay. I had great team members-- not too wild, but enthu enough. I had duties.. 3. None of which were carried out completely. Although all of which i worried for.
This camp..if i dare to say.. was one of the most testing and breaking camp i've had.
And also the best.I didn't get a break thru as i expected in camp. No big revelation.. heard a voice which i don't even know if its God. Funnily the Bible says, "His sheep know His voice...."
But i knew God moved. I saw it. Thru others.. thru how every session took place... especially the last night. And thru Joel.. like my dai kor says.
This camp.. again God made me feel stuff bout others.. I duno if its God lah.. maybe its just me.. but.. there was one sessin i prayed for someone.. and i just felt his pain and hurting.. and i was crying.. I dunno if its him or me.. but i really didn't have a need to cry lah.. not at tt point at least. Just like the previous camp where i only heard for others.. not for me.
But i was sooo bitter when i went to the previous camp.. and i got my break thru at the last day. This year's camp.. i went with such an expectant heart.. But up till the last session.. I didn't.I felt so lost. Somehow i would miss part of the sessions or miss out on this or that.. till the point i was so fustrated. I just forced myself to try to focus.. to try not to say negative things.. to work myself like mad so i wouldn't have to think of why God seemed to skip me again.
I wanted to ask ppl to pray for me.. but.. then i realised if i did.. then i would be looking to man. Not God. I didn't go with baggages.. but i took up some as camp went on. ARGHHHHH!!!! But God still has everything in His hands. I thank God for making elvin so busy. Not tt I want him to be so busy.. but rather.. Becoz he was sooo busy.. He didn't have time to talk with me.. and i had no choice but to run directly to God. God is good isn't it?
I did so many stooopid things.
I did get part of my confirmation though. I really don't know how to say... there's just sooooo much. I guess i should say.. I saw God move in others.. maybe at times He used me to facilitate His moving in others.. But somehow.. PERSONAlly..for me personally..like not much.
Thruout the camp.. i didn't knwo to laugh or cry.. I mean.. it was like i was stille xpectant tt God would do the same thing as He did for me the prev camp.. make me kan chiong until the last session till He blows my mind away. But this camp He didn't.
I got part of my confirmatn as i said-- its something tt i didn't really expect.
I was crazy for God-- Coz i know He rules.
Okay.. i know Im being v negative here.. but seriously.. camp was good.. in every aspect.. games.sessions.
But it was really difficult for me.The last session i took out my name tag card (with the words camp committee printed in red on it, strangely) and just slotted in my bible-- randomly.. It was already the last session, prize giving.
Then we went back... i felt partly filled.And i was contemplating going to esther house.. which in the end i did.
Cut the story short... When esther and esther were not jacuzzing.. and joel was reading his prize for the best dressed. SUDDENLY.. as in literally SUDDENLY I rmbed my namecard and the slot.. so I decided I would read.. half hoping it would speak to me. And it was about Daniel and the messenger and the prince of persia that one.. (Dan Chap 1o.)
That immediately spoke to me about persisting. And at tt pt of time i was also brought back to during the camp when God reminded me about the persisting woman with the issue of blood. And somehow.. i still don't know.. but i guess.. God's training me to be patient.. to be silent.. and also somehow confirms wad i asked.
Abit confusing i know.. hahaha.. sorry.. But.. ask me in person pls. Easier to explain the goodness of God in this camp.. though in a way that is so different from the others. Anyone.. have anythign to say please leave notes.. coz Im still open and expecting that thru persisting.. Thru the grace of God.. Thru His love.. I will get wad i wanted--- Direction and confirmation.
AMEN.
Youth camp. Evryone is updating.. it'll be malu-ing if the blogger freak doesn't update too.
It was awesome.. I know God moved. Throughout everynite-everyday-every session.I don't know where to begin.
I went camp with a really really despo enthu heart. Its one of the first youth camps that i looked forward to. I expected so much.. i prayed for everyone and myself.. Just kept praying for God to move. No credit to me.. but God did move. So many of us can testify.
For me.. camp was okay. I had great team members-- not too wild, but enthu enough. I had duties.. 3. None of which were carried out completely. Although all of which i worried for.
This camp..if i dare to say.. was one of the most testing and breaking camp i've had.
And also the best.I didn't get a break thru as i expected in camp. No big revelation.. heard a voice which i don't even know if its God. Funnily the Bible says, "His sheep know His voice...."
But i knew God moved. I saw it. Thru others.. thru how every session took place... especially the last night. And thru Joel.. like my dai kor says.
This camp.. again God made me feel stuff bout others.. I duno if its God lah.. maybe its just me.. but.. there was one sessin i prayed for someone.. and i just felt his pain and hurting.. and i was crying.. I dunno if its him or me.. but i really didn't have a need to cry lah.. not at tt point at least. Just like the previous camp where i only heard for others.. not for me.
But i was sooo bitter when i went to the previous camp.. and i got my break thru at the last day. This year's camp.. i went with such an expectant heart.. But up till the last session.. I didn't.I felt so lost. Somehow i would miss part of the sessions or miss out on this or that.. till the point i was so fustrated. I just forced myself to try to focus.. to try not to say negative things.. to work myself like mad so i wouldn't have to think of why God seemed to skip me again.
I wanted to ask ppl to pray for me.. but.. then i realised if i did.. then i would be looking to man. Not God. I didn't go with baggages.. but i took up some as camp went on. ARGHHHHH!!!! But God still has everything in His hands. I thank God for making elvin so busy. Not tt I want him to be so busy.. but rather.. Becoz he was sooo busy.. He didn't have time to talk with me.. and i had no choice but to run directly to God. God is good isn't it?
I did so many stooopid things.
I did get part of my confirmation though. I really don't know how to say... there's just sooooo much. I guess i should say.. I saw God move in others.. maybe at times He used me to facilitate His moving in others.. But somehow.. PERSONAlly..for me personally..like not much.
Thruout the camp.. i didn't knwo to laugh or cry.. I mean.. it was like i was stille xpectant tt God would do the same thing as He did for me the prev camp.. make me kan chiong until the last session till He blows my mind away. But this camp He didn't.
I got part of my confirmatn as i said-- its something tt i didn't really expect.
I was crazy for God-- Coz i know He rules.
Okay.. i know Im being v negative here.. but seriously.. camp was good.. in every aspect.. games.sessions.
But it was really difficult for me.The last session i took out my name tag card (with the words camp committee printed in red on it, strangely) and just slotted in my bible-- randomly.. It was already the last session, prize giving.
Then we went back... i felt partly filled.And i was contemplating going to esther house.. which in the end i did.
Cut the story short... When esther and esther were not jacuzzing.. and joel was reading his prize for the best dressed. SUDDENLY.. as in literally SUDDENLY I rmbed my namecard and the slot.. so I decided I would read.. half hoping it would speak to me. And it was about Daniel and the messenger and the prince of persia that one.. (Dan Chap 1o.)
That immediately spoke to me about persisting. And at tt pt of time i was also brought back to during the camp when God reminded me about the persisting woman with the issue of blood. And somehow.. i still don't know.. but i guess.. God's training me to be patient.. to be silent.. and also somehow confirms wad i asked.
Abit confusing i know.. hahaha.. sorry.. But.. ask me in person pls. Easier to explain the goodness of God in this camp.. though in a way that is so different from the others. Anyone.. have anythign to say please leave notes.. coz Im still open and expecting that thru persisting.. Thru the grace of God.. Thru His love.. I will get wad i wanted--- Direction and confirmation.
AMEN.
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